Do Not Linger Long
Do not linger long in the victim garden
The beautiful flowers will start to cry
The colors will run and fade away
And the stalks will start to die
All the smiling sunshine faces
Will begin to lose their brilliant glow
If we tarry to long in the victim garden
All the joy will slowly start to go
If we take all the smiling happy flowers
And clutch them tight in our hands
Because we want them all with us
They will fall away like the ocean sands
We all visit the victim garden sat times in our life
It feels so good to see all the smiling happy flowers
But they are only there to give us rest and lift us up
Until we can carry ourselves under our own powers
So tarry not long at the victim garden
Do not pinch all the blooms off to take away
Just close your eyes and feel the rest
So you can carry yourself up and away
I have often wondered why people seem to fear silence. Perhaps it is that they must face their own thoughts without all the distraction and commotion in the world today. I am very sensory and I literally have to remove all the sensory things around me and allow myself to desensitize. And I do so by laying in my darkened room, with only a fan blowing to circulate the air. The lights are dimmed to help soothe the senses. And I lay thee until I feel my body begin to relax and the chaos drain away.
Today, it seems that the world is constant commotion, constant sound, constant talking and it reminds me of listening to a flock of crows that makes s much noise that the sound drowns out the world. People have on music, television, or talking constantly and at times it seems almost in desperation as if they fear the silence.
To me silence is a beautiful thing. Now there are times I do not want total silence but just for things to dim to a lower level. As I have spent most of my time in my one room world, I have become quite accustomed to not having a lot of distractions around. Even with my son taking care of me, he is not always around me as he has work to do and friends he likes to visit. So, I learned the art of entertaining myself. I find many people do not know how to entertain themselves but I am blessed with this ability to read, dream my dreams, write or draw and hours can go by and I never realize it.
Do you remember days when you were young, where we would dream of what we wanted to do. We could spend hours day dreaming and planning in our heads. Today, people post it on Facebook or twitter and the world knows and so many want to tell us what to do or how to do it. It is the dreamers that created and invented so many things in the world.
Remember when dreams were private and kept secret except for those you trusted the most? The day of someone just listening is gone and everyone is an expert on everything. I think people fear the silence because then they hear all the things rolling through their head such as failing to have this dream or that dream come true or broken relationships or lost children and you name it. In the silence we can come to terms with what we have lost or failed at and accept it as part of life.
The things that have kept me going all these years of being sick have been my ability to dream and to work the dream. We moved to Colorado because of a dream and we worked for a year to made the dream come true. Dreams change along the way but that does not mean you can not have a new dream. But, if you never have silence….you never get to hear the dream that is struggling to rise to the surface. All the noise buzzing around us makes it hard to hear our inner dreams and thoughts. And no matter how old we are…..we still need dreams.
I dream of publishing all my writings and though I know that I may not always be here, I know that my dream will come true some how some way because I have a son that wants to see them published too. I dream of being able to travel back to see my other son and granddaughter and we are working on that dream. I dream of walking and being outside in nature and I work daily on that dream. Will it happen? I do not know but I know I enjoy the silent moments when I hear the dream in my heart and work to devise ways that it could happen. And if the dream never happens, all the times day dreaming about my dreams like returning to Italy have been joyful. It was not lost time.
When you feel burnt out, stressed out and tired of all the chaos in the world, find your place of serenity. Everyone needs that place in their home whether it is your bedroom, an office, your back porch or where ever. We all need that place where we can go and hear the silence and can take that deep breath and put our heads back and listen to the stillness. It is then that we can soothe our inner selves and can think clearer. Perhaps your place of serenity is sitting on a porch swing with your loved one, watching the hummingbirds and listening to the soft hum of their wings..neither one of you saying a word. Do not be afraid to step into the silence for in the silence comes serenity.
Technology is a wonderful thing in many ways but it also can be a double-edged sword if we are not careful. It can take over our lives and consume our time. For me now, being disabled and chronically ill, it is my window to the world and I love it. Besides giving me entertainment, it also provides me with contact with the human race out there. I am careful though to not spend all my time on the computer.
I remember about twenty years ago when my son brought in my first computer that he had built from spare parts. I was literally terrified of the thing and would turn it on and then turn it off for days. It took me a while to get brave enough to get on the internet and those sounds that came from the Yahoo messenger like door knocking, etc made me feel like someone was in my house. To this day son still laughs about teaching me how to use the computer.
The first thing we did was make me familiar with the keyboard, the mouse and all the little things I needed to know. I remember son trying to teach me about the mouse and what button to click on them. The first time he told me to do a “left hand” click, I swapped hands and put the mouse in my left hand and clicked. I can still see him trying so hard not to laugh at me. Eventually, I got the hang of things and soon son was asking me to search for things for him as he said I could find more information on the internet that he ever thought about finding. I told him that it was simple. I just pretended I was him or his brother when they were little and if I asked a question and did not get the answer I wanted, I rephrased the question and asked again. I figure if it worked for them to get that Yes answer from me, it might work for me to track down information.
My poor son says he learned many things from teaching me how to use the computer. I think the one that floored him the most was the day I turned the screen on my monitor upside down. I called him over and showed him and his eyes opened wide and he asked me “How the H did you do that??” I told him I had no idea but later we finally figured out that the dog caught my arm and snatched it with the mouse in my hand so I evidently clicked something along the way. I asked him could I just turn my monitor over. With this raised eyebrow look, he informed me “NO”. It took him a day to figure out how to turn it back around.
I think he used to live in fear that the FBI or some organization was going to come knocking on our door to arrest me because I was always ending up on places that gave me warnings that I was entering unauthorized territory or something like that. I am an avid searcher on Google and if something catches my interest I will search for hours. I love crime stories and was searching on the FBI site one day and I did something and a huge red stop sign popped up telling me I was about to enter forbidden territory. I think my son wanted to faint on that one as he was muttering to me the whole time he was trying to back me out of that site. I told him not to worry, that if anyone came asking questions they would soon learn I was just a ditsy little old lady that did not know how to use a computer.
I am still not as social media savvy as most people are. I have a dumb phone that only takes calls or text. I do not do Instagram, Pinterest, Face Time or any of those other apps. And yet, I still manage to get what I need out of my computer. I was so glad growing up that I learned how to do things outside, play sports, sit and talk with friends and all sorts of other fun things instead of sitting around texting on a smart phone like we see so much of today. There is balance, at least I think there is anyway. I know people who can not talk in person but can text by the hour. My son deserves an award for the time he worked to teach me how to use the computer.
Change comes so slowly sometimes but I feel like if we each become the change we want to see in the world in our little corner of the world, then we might see change coming in ripple form. I can sit and complain about all the rude people in the world, all the people who never make an effort to work, or all the bad politicians in the world but if I am complacent and make no effort to help create change than I am just as guilty.. If I want more respect in the world, then I should start with myself and be more respectful. If I want more kindness, then I should work on being kinder. If I want honesty in the world, then I should make sure I am always honest. If I want different people in office, then I should be making sure to vote and to learn all I can about the politicians. It starts at home and works outward.
Be passionate about what you believe in and by that I mean talk about what you believe in and express it. I believe in the right to express and even to protest but I do not believe in violence or destroying property because you are unhappy with a verdict. Nor do I believe all cops are unfair or racial profilers, that all blacks are bad, all Indians are lazy, or all whites are racist and I do not believe guilty verdicts should come down just because one does not like what happened. I believe we have to look at facts and we have to decide what is right or wrong IN SPITE of what the media is propagating.
The media and those in charge bank on the fact that we will never research facts, that we will just take what they write as the gospel and follow along like sheep. People, contrary to what Gruber said, Americans are not stupid. We may get complacent at times. We may become passive about issues but we are not stupid. I believe people find it easier to let others lead and do not want to be accountable for learning all they can about our judicial system and our government. I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican. I am an American and I vote by researching and finding out the truth about each candidate and not relying on all the ads and all the one-sided commentary our news media does now. We are not stupid but we are slack at times. We get that “cult” mentality and allow people to just lead us in directions that are flat-out bad for us whether it is religiously, politically or any other way. Why is this?
Please research things like Jeff Warren and the FLDS and see what blindly following someone can do to us. Watch some of the extreme religions and see what blindly following them without reading for yourself and studying for yourself will do to us. I am a person of faith. I believe religions are man-made and that faith is between man and God. That means that I do not let religious leaders to tell me what the Bible says and just passively sit there and make no effort to check the facts. I read and study for myself. I do not allow the media OR politicians to sway me. I use my own common sense and my own ability to research and find out the truth.
A good example of not knowing the full story is how so many of the Male leaders in some churches like to say that woman caused the downfall of man. Try reading Genesis for yourself. I was amazed to learn that woman was not thrown out of the garden of Eden but man was. Woman was just told she would suffer in childbirth for eating the apple. The Bible also says woman was deceived but man was not. Another example is that man was created first. Again, read Genesis and it says that God created “man”, both male and female he created them. He created “mankind” first which included the women. Then he created Adam’s body first to hold the spirit but the Bible tells us God knew us before we were born and the reason is God created all our spirits in the beginning. Another example of taking the stories told to us as truth by those in charge is that of Jonah and the Whale. Jonah was not swallowed by a whale in the story. He was swallowed by a fish and a whale is a mammal and not a fish.
We get bits and pieces but not total transparency about the things our government and our country is doing. No real answers are given on the IRS situation. No real answers are given on Benghazi and other situations. The wars going on we do not hear the full story on. We have disappearing and reappearing emails, stonewalling, and an extreme lack of transparency. And yet, why do we not see protesting like we have seen over the past weeks? Now, do not get me wrong. These kind of things have gone on for years in the political realm and under different parties and yet people passively allow it. And some people will defend it blindly even when the truth comes out. That probably is the biggest thing that bothers me today. If I am being authentic and accountable, then I should be able to point out the things a politician does wrong even if I voted for him or her. But many can not for it undermines their very foundation which is built on sticks instead of bricks.
It may be harder work to check facts for ourselves but when we check facts, then the decisions we make or based on facts and not what someone told us. Gruber said Americans were stupid and that is why Obama care went through. Well, we are not quite as stupid as he thinks….maybe just a little late in doing our research to learn the truth is all. Be involved, be accountable for your decisions and not base them on media hype, political ads or anything else. Study so that when you make decisions, you have invested all you can into the process. Would you go put your money in a sack in a hole in a tree that someone calls a bank just because someone told you to? Then why would you take others opinions and advice without researching on things as important as our government and politics, medical care and religion?
Life is not always easy and sometimes we feel like we are always fighting uphill. Sometimes the storms seem more than we can bear and I have learned that if I just stop and bend like the willow and allow the storm to roll off my back, it does not batter me down to the ground. If I just bend like the willow, never breaking but allowing the storm to wash over me, I can once again pull myself back up to fight again.
Bend Like The Willow
The storms rage in destruction and despair
The winds of life batter without a care
Things break into and shatter in places
And you see the pain in so many faces
And yet some still stand beaten but strong
♫’Bend like the willow’♫ is their song
The willow bends over from the blasting wind
Smiling inside saying ” I only will bend”
And when the storm lessens, the willow is still there
The storm was bad but the willow does not care
Life will always send storms our way
Life is full of storms, day after day
When the storms hit and you feel so much pain
Raise your arms and face to the falling rain
Do not run and hide and cover your head
Instead of hiding, bend like the willow instead
When the willow is bent over and the storm passes by
“you did not break me” is the willow’s cry
I am still here standing tall and strong
If you think you can beat me, you are very wrong
So, when things are bad and you want to cry
Bend like the willow…just give it a try.
image from diytrade.com
It is that time of year where being thankful is the focus around dinner tables. I believe in being thankful every single day because we never realize just how much we have to be thankful for.
I am thankful for so many things from my family, my dear friends, my home, my Daisy, my church, my health even though I have so many things wrong…I am better than some, the ability to write this blog and sorry I have missed so much lately but things are calming and I am getting back in the groove. I am thankful for all of you that read my blog for it lifts my heart daily and makes me feel like I have a job.
So, here is the challenge. Every day…write down in a notebook or on a piece of paper three (3) things you are thankful for and each day must be three different things. After you get past the usual…my home, my family, God, etc…then you really have to think about how much you have to be thankful for.
I can remember writing a couple of years ago when I did this that I was thankful for long johns, hot coffee and a hot shower. Seems minor but it was major to me because so many do not have that in this world. Another day, I wrote I was thankful for the church bells I heard in the distance, thankful for the pain in my legs for many have lost their legs and thankful for the sunshine.
So, I challenge you all to write down each day three different things you are thankful for and do it for two or three weeks. And then go back and read what you have written and if you seriously do it…watch how your view of what you have to be thankful for changes. It starts off with big things and then as you search for something new to be thankful for, you really start looking at the good things in your life.
Remember happiness and gratefulness go together. And happiness is not a destination….it is the journey and how you travel it.
No matter how bad things get, it really is ok to find a little humor and to laugh. That has been my philosophy for years and this week was no exception. And it helps that my son has my wacky sense of humor. I had three trips an hour each way to doctors in three days. I am susceptible to catching everything that is out there and especially when you go to places that have a lot of sick people. So, I dress accordingly. I dress to avoid being sneezed on, coughed on, or getting germs from anything.
Now, let me tell you that dressed like this…I can clear an elevator in sixty seconds. Seriously people fled, saying over their shoulders as they ran out that they would catch the next one. Wonder if it works at restaurants? But, I really am not concerned if people think I look scary, funny or anything else. I am determined to keep from catching all the sickness that is in the places I have to go like doctor’s office and hospitals.
So, what I tell the ones in charge is no I do not have any dread disease that anyone can catch and that I am only trying to keep myself from catching what they are coughing all over the waiting rooms. And if that does not work, I tell them this is my Michael Jackson Halloween costume as I throw up one gloved hand, grab my hat and start singing ♫♫ Billie Jean…..♫♫ and then raising my head I start rolling backwards and moving my shoulders back and forth like I am moon walking. That just brings the house down.
No matter what life throws your way, find a way to smile for it helps. Laughter and smiling help make the hard times better. Do not waste your minutes being angry, upset, sad, discouraged, or anything negative because when you do….you are wasting minutes you can never recover and are losing precious moments that you could be spending with those you love or spending on things that are good.
I am showing my age here when I say this but that is ok. I am proud of my age. I remember growing up not throwing stuff away or clothes away and the possessions we had were things to take care of. I am proud my sons were raised the same way. And I am sad to see the country/world become such a disposable society.
Now, let me say this in defense of that before I start in on all the things thrown away. I believe a lot of the problem lies in industries who create items that are not made to last. People used to take pride in their craft and if you bought a certain watch or a certain piece of furniture or even a certain item of clothing, the people making it took great pains to create something that they could be proud up and that stood up to time and use. This is not that way today.
I think about the wood workers who crafted their items so intrinsically that if anyone knew their work they could identify it by just looking at it. Artists were the same way and inventors the same way. If you owned a television years ago, you did not throw it away if it quit working. You called the repairman and had it fixed. Today we are lucky if a cell phone lasts over a year or a television and clothes are not even the same quality. Today you have to watch for all the tricks some companies do to make money off of us by giving us an inferior product. Look how often cars are traded, how often houses are sold, how often smart phones are :upgraded”, etc.
These are possessions I was talking about above but so many live a more disposable life than most of us realize. People tend to go into marriage with the idea that if it does not work, they can just throw it away and start over with someone new. Nothing is done to try to “work out” the problems. The spouse just becomes disposable. Friends are disposable today too. If you do not believe me, just look at Facebook sometime and you will see people cutting people off if they dare to disagree with them and they then move on to someone new.I have begun to think that few people know what being a friend is. If I am a friend…then I am a friend even if the other person walks away or acts in a certain way.
How can people be a disposable item? Seems humans have little value as do relationships. I guess trying to talk and work things out and really caring about others is not what it used to be. Children seem to be disposable as many people have babies and then the grandparents end up raising them. What happened to accountability? Much as people think they can run from their problems, the problems will just catch up with them at a later date in a similar situation.
My take on this is that there is little respect for people, places or things. There seems to be little value for human life as we see the murders around the world. There seems to be little compassion and concern for other humans as we see the empty houses rise to a number greater than the homeless population. Why could they not have worked out something for people to keep their homes? There is little respect for what people say to others and believe me when I say there are some horrible people posting anonymously behind their monitors and I do mean hate mongering.
I believe in kindness no matter how others act. I believe in forgiveness no matter what someone says to us or how they act to us. I believe in accountability in what we say and do. And most of all, I believe in respect. We can not change the world but maybe we can change our corner of the world and create ripple effects. So many say they can not do it alone and no one can but if we each make an effort to make a change, eventually others will see it and try it too.
I am blessed by many things in my life. I am blessed by our freedoms, by those who are willing to fight to keep us safe, by those who sacrifice daily to make our world, our country a safer place. Today I send heartfelt thanks and love to all the veterans and all our men and women in the military.
Know that you are honored and loved from our home to you no matter where you are.
image from www.bdtrends.com
image from happyveteransdayquotes2014.com
I want to tell you about a young girl who has been seriously ill for seven years. She is about 22 now and so that means she was about 15 when she became ill with ME….myalgic encephalomyelitis sometimes called chronic fatigue syndrome which is a very poor name for this illness. In the states, over one million people have ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis) and there are 17 million people world wide with this illness. This illness has been around since the 80’s and so I for one wonder why they have not found a treatment for this since it is listed as a “chronic degenerative neuro-immune disease described in medical literature as early as 1935.”
Jessica works hard to try to raise awareness and to raise money for the charity. This kind of work is so exhausting to someone bed bound with ME/CFS and she has to be flat on her back a lot of the time When we live in one room and live in a hospital bed believe me it is not by choice. And I can only imagine how hard for a child in her teens to suddenly become that sick. There are a lot of battles, a lot of “crashes” as the body just forces us to lay there and do nothing. So, I think Jessica creating this song to sell and raise money for the charity….in spite of being so sick is amazing.
There are many people trying to create awareness of this illness and creating movies, videos, and events to educate on. Many people with ME work to get their input into the medical genre so that they are heard. And that is wonderful and hopefully one day instead of dismissing this as a psychological disorder or even taking children from their parents and keeping them in hospitals where the parents can not see them, research might actually come up with a way to help this.
While many focus on solutions, Jessica’s concern was directed towards all the many children who are suffering debilitating illness and how the children are coping. She, with the help of her sister, created a charity called “Share A Star” and it focused on giving young children hope and on the children knowing that they were not forgotten.
Jessica is bedridden and lives with a lot of pain and yet she still worries about others. The Charity created stars for children to have as their own to give them hope as they went through the medical things they faced. The charity has gone on to create a Share The Hope official charity music single and Jessica is hoping to get as many as possible sold before Christmas to make Christmas brighter for the sick children.
From the video, it says “This charity song is the brain child of, and has been written by, Jessica L E Taylor, a seriously unwell and bedridden young lady.It has a very clear message for us all to ‘Spread the Hope’ this Christmas time and by doing so, will raise important funds for four registered charities.”
Jessica has worked hard to get where she can sit up and made it and even stood for a couple of minutes but her system has gone down again and she is back flat on her back and in a lot of pain. So, I am posting this on here for Jessica in hopes that you all will order this video, share the blog so others can get the links and will help Jessica realize her dream of having it go high on the charts. Below is a preview only of the single. To hear the song in full you will need to buy one.
The proceeds from the sale of this song will go to help four different charities:
If you are touched by this video and want TO DONATE (it will be split between all four charities), the link is:https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/spreadthehope