Simply danLrene

Dare To Dream

Why You Have To “Work” Your Dreams

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Many have asked me why I use the phrase “work the dream” when I started this blog instead of “follow your dreams” as most people say about dreams. The reason is very simply in that I believe that any dreams you have, accomplishing the dream requires work. Seldom do dreams just fall into your lap like a winning lottery ticket. I find that many people will do exactly that though. They will say they dream of doing this or that but then make no effort to make that dream happen and then wonder why their dreams never come true.

When we decided that we wanted to move to Colorado, we started from that day forward “working” towards this dream. We sat and made plans on how to accomplish the dream, plans to raise the money needed to make this dream come true and researched areas, cost, etc. We “worked” to make this dream possible. And I can tell you that the day we drove into the driveway of the first house we lived in here, we felt like we had climbed the biggest mountain in the world. Oh, what a feeling of accomplishment. That was the day we also realized that accomplishing one dream did not mean there were no more dreams for the dreams kept coming to us.

Now, let me say this as I have said this many times on my blog, I am a person of faith between me and my creator. I am not a person of religion which is man-made. And so my faith and prayers were part of this “working” towards our dream and I give God the glory for achieving this dream. I believe that God provides the means for the dreams but we have to do our part. I see many people who have the attitude “Oh, God will take care of it.” and never make any effort to do their part to make the dream  come true and then wonder why they never succeed in having their dream materialize.

When we decided to move to this side of the mountain to get away from the “resort” areas, we once again began to “work” our dream. Dreams keep us going, give us purpose and make us focus on living instead of just existing. And no matter your age, we all need dreams. We have several dreams we are working on right now and each requires us to put forth some effort. And sometimes the dreams get derailed and we have to start over again and sometimes again. Just like my dreams of being back up on my feet. I work and refine what I am doing to make my health better and things happen to knock me back down on my back again. But, I never give up on my dream of being up on my feet again and so I continue to “work” my dream.

I truly believe that this is what has kept me going through all of my health issues and trials that I have been through. I have never been ashamed of being chronically ill and disabled for it was not my fault that I was sick and disabled and I can honestly say I have never felt like giving up no matter how bad it got. And I believe the reason is I was always working on solutions and working towards the dreams I wanted to see accomplished.As long as you are “working” the dream, then you are not failing. It is when you give up on the dream or expect it to just land in your lap that the despair and frustration sets in.

Did we ever have setbacks? Oh yes, we did but that is just part of life. The hopes and dreams of what we wanted to accomplish kept me going and dreaming of actually getting there kept me smiling. Actually, when I look back through life, I see that the “getting to the dream” was the most pleasurable part.When I worked the dream of going to Italy, did the work to raise the money and actually made it to Italy, it was thrilling. And yet, what happened when I got there? Because I failed to tell my bank that I was going to Italy, the first use of my credit card and they locked my bank account down. And yet, with no money to spend, I still had the most thrilling time of my life.

The trip was paid for, breakfast and dinner were paid for when the trip was set with the group. I had no money for shopping or eating lunch but that did not matter to me. I was in Rome…oh Roma my Roma…and nothing was going to rob me of that joy. So, while everyone was out shopping for all the designer bags and scarves, I was walking up and down the little side streets enjoying the tiny shops or sitting at the beautiful fountain eating my lunch which consisted of bread and fruit from my breakfast buffet or sipping my cappuccino.in my thermos cup and enjoying watching the artists at work in the street. Even with my bank card messed up, I was still “working” my dream.

I truly believe that attitude and mental mindset are key factors in “working” the dreams. Some dreams come true in what seems to be very short times but others take weeks and even months and some can even take years. A lot depends on how much you are willing to put into “working” the dream, how much the dream means to you and if you are even willing to put in the “work” it takes to have this dream come true. Sometimes it takes trading off that which is less important to get what is most important to you. I do this in working on my health. I trade off “standing” at times just to get out of the house by using my power chair because getting out is more important to me than worrying about what people think when they see me in the chair.

So, never ever stop dreaming no matter how old you are or what shape you are in. Dream those dreams, make plans, design ways to accomplish those dreams and keep “working” the dream for that keeps our spirits going and then when a dream happens, just enjoy the feeling. And stop worrying about what someone may think of your dreams for after all they are YOUR dreams not theirs.

August 20, 2014 Posted by | All, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Just Try Imagining

Simply danLrene signia

I dream for a lot of things even more so now when I look around the world and see the mass killings of men, women and children and seeing some of them stranded without food and water and having to bury their children. And seeing this just tears my heart. I dream for peace not only over seas but also in our country that has become so divided that the country is accomplishing nothing except to pull people further apart.

I wish there were something I could do but I only have my voice here due to my health issues going on. Most of you know from my side bar on the right that I am mostly in a hospital bed and very sick and have new things happening. And so this blog is entitled “Just Try Imagining…”   and it is called that for a reason.

We as the American people are blessed to be in a safe country but we have been attacked on our own soil before as seen with 9/11. But, because we live in relative peace, I think we fail to realize what it would be like if these wars were going on here on American soil. And so I say..Just try to imagine.

Just try to imagine if that were your homes being bombed, your family members being killed because they would not adopt the faith of the terrorists, if that were your child or loved one that was brutally killed and beheaded. Horrific thoughts is it not?

Sometimes it takes the horror for us to be motivated into being compassionate and caring and to be searching for the truth and a way to help. As I sat looking at all those pictures from the news sites and I had to force myself to look, I tried to imagine myself in those places and facing that. And to be honest, the full impact is not possible because I have never been faced with that before. But I do have an inkling and the horror that it would be.

This is not a political post or about political parties, it is about acts against humanity and us stepping in to help.  I heard people say “Well, we wanted our men and women home because we missed them.”  I understand that but could this horror have been prevented had we stayed a little longer in training them to fight for themselves? I am sure those family members still alive miss their men, women and children that were killed in masses. And the brutal killing will be etched in their brains forever.

And these terrorists have threatened our country and threatened to come here where the borders are unsecured and do harm here. It brought home to me why our military goes to help places like Iraq and other countries because it can be a threat to our own freedoms.

I have friends in Israel who are living through the war there. She is an American and he is a native of Israel and they have a two year old son. I cried at one of her videos where she thought she heard the siren go off and was changing her baby and grabbed him and diapers and was running into the hallway to hide.  She still had her camera attached to her hand and you could see the fear on her face and the poor baby’s face too. Can you imagine what that would feel like if it were you or me and we had to live with that fear daily?

We have become a country (and yes a world) that is so lacking in compassion and understanding and want to judge in such a harsh way. It really is time we came together as a country and not political parties. It really is time the different sides quit fighting with the other side and vice versa. It really is a time that we came together as Americans proud of our country and proud of the fact that we have been a leader helping those in need all down through the years. Somehow, we have gotten off tract.

And it really is time we start paying attention to what is going on in our country and our world and looking with realistic eyes and not just assuming because a person is from our particular party that all they do is good. We as a country used to stand tall and stand proud and work together. We saw that after 9/11 and I do not want another 9/11 to get us to pull together again.

There is an old saying that says “a divided house can not stand” and that is what we have become…a divided country and the divisions are by party lines, by race, by religion, by cultures and it is the saddest sight in the world to me to see. I thought we had come a long ways and now I feel like we are back in the sixties again.

So I ask everyone that reads my blog to “just try to imagine” and see how you would feel if you were the country being bombed and mass murders being done all because you would not believe what the other side wanted you to believe. Imagine and feel both sides of situations so that understanding can come and so we know how fortunate we really are in this country to live in a land of the free. But, to maintain the land of the free, we the people need to work together to keep our land free.

August 18, 2014 Posted by | All, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Corey’s Challenge

Simply danLrene signia

I just watched the movie “Heaven Is Real” and loved it. Perhaps it means more to me than most because I have seen heaven twice in my life and it is absolutely the most breathtaking place possible. Knowing what is after life is what keeps me going even when things are really rough like the past few weeks. I know that no matter what happens, when my time comes I will be in this breathtaking place and see loved ones I have lost through the years.

Traumatic events change us and change how we look at life. It can change us in many ways from making us cherish the real things in life and make us desire to do something that will help others suffering or it can to make us become self-absorbed and make us on go into overdrive trying to find happiness when it lies within us. This is what happened to a friend of mine I call Resa. Her son was diagnosed with cancer when he was three. He is cancer free now and is four years old. I met Resa when someone sent me the link to her son’s story because they knew I was a prayer and I have been blessed to get to know her and her family and to be part of their journey with cancer. And what a little warrior Corey is.

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All through life we will meet many people. Some come and stay in our hearts and lives forever. Some move on through and some stay for a bit and move on. Some people have touched my heart so much and Resa and her family are ones that have touched me. I have watched their journey with this horrible disease and watched how they kept their eyes focused on our creator to help them through. They believed in the power of prayer and in asking others to please pray for their son.

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Corey is four years old now. When he was barely three, he was diagnosed with cancer. I can not even begin to imagine a child going through what he went through and keeping that smile on his little face as he endured chemo, radiation and even surgery but he did it. Resa and her husband were there for him every step of the way as was the family and extended family and those of us that chose to go on this journey with them.  See, little children do not try to over analyze things, do not obsess on the bad parts, are not concerned if they lose their hair or look sickly and as long as we are there and give them the positive outlook, they feel it and feel safe and are able to smile even when so sick.

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They went through weeks and weeks of treatment. The tumor on his kidney was the size of a grapefruit. It was so big that the doctors could not do the operation to remove the tumor until they had shrunk it some with the treatment. I know what it is like to hold my child as he cries from fear of what is happening and the suffering that comes with the treatment and it is the most helpless feeling in the world because as parents we want to fix all the wrongs with our babies. To hold our babies hands down while they are doing medical things to them and try to soothe them is part of our job as a parent when we know this is the only way to get better but it is heart-rending none the less.

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The one thing that stuck out with me with Resa and her family was that they put her faith totally in God no matter what came her way. She believed and she just knew that Corey would make it….which he did. She called on everyone to please pray for healing for Corey for there is strength in numbers. I truly believe in the power of prayer and I believe that is one gift you can give another person even without telling them.

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It has been a year since this started and as the year anniversary arrived, flashbacks of what they went through also arrived. Memories of the emotional pain of seeing their child so sick, of the exhaustion that comes from having to carry on in spite of the cancer and of the fear of the unknown world of dealing with cancer have brought Resa to a point where she wants to give back and help those who are going through this too. She wants to make a difference in the lives of others and give the comfort that others gave her during this time. And most of all she wants to encourage people to step up to the plate and bring the power of prayer to all those so sick with cancer and especially the little children who are going through so much. It is hard as an adult to deal with cancer much less a small child.

Resa saw what the power of prayer did for her child and her family and wants to encourage others to stand up to the challenge of cancer and come full force with prayers for all those around the world suffering.  Below is a video where Resa reminisces about the past year and talks about how she wants to start a challenge for people to come together as a group with prayer for this dreaded disease. And she encourages people to make their challenge public to encourage others by buying a T-shirt or a cap created when Corey was going through his battle.

So many people are afraid to show their faith out of fear of being ridiculed or attacked verbally but we live in a nation that has many faiths and we are a nation where we have that freedom to pray and we have the freedom to show our faith. There is power in numbers, power in prayer and power in seeing those around us stand up to the challenge of being part of a group that keeps growing in prayer for cancer victims.  Are you up for that challenge? Whether we want to be or not, we are a role model for others, we are either encouragement or discouragement for those going through traumatic events in their life and I personally want to be someone who encourages others to keep trying and to keep focusing on the healing.

I know from experience what prayer can do and truly believe that if it were not for groups of people praying for me, I might not even be here today. And every time I hear the words that something is healed in me, I smile for I know all the prayers helped carry me through. So, I am asking you today if you would help my friend Resa by going to this link and purchasing a hat or T-shirt to wear proudly as part of a large body of people who are praying daily for a cure for this dreaded disease.

http://www.zazzle.com/stankonit

T-shirt

August 14, 2014 Posted by | All, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Hold Tight To Your Values

Simply danLrene signia

what do you satnd for

image from www.full-spirited.com

I believe that core values are extremely important in life and these core values come from what we have been exposed to when we were growing up. Certain people influenced my thinking through the years and taught me the core values I have now which include kindness all the time, honesty, integrity, compassion, loyalty

Sadly though, I see a change in values in our world…our country and I began to wonder did this mean I should change my core values. I see a world drifting more towards materialism than ever before and less towards a core values system. As I lay here in the dark contemplating life, I wondered was I the odd man out as the expression goes or were there others who still felt this way.

Remember growing up and when we were still in school, we often would hold back our own feelings to be part of the crowd?  It was called peer pressure and it happens with adults too. People are afraid to express their views because of the bullying attitude many have.

Just because the values in our country seem to be undermined by those we trusted does not mean we should abandon our own values. It is our values of standing for one as a country, of being patriotic, of being loyal, of being honest and authentic that made our country so good.

When things keep happening as they will, just remember that diversity is good but division is not. A country divided can not stand anymore than a family divided will stay complete. We have to hold to our core values of honesty, authenticity, morals and not let anyone else change those views.

August 5, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Life Is Easier With Creativity

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Life is always challenging and sometimes it is extremely challenging but the truth is that what we do with life is up to us. Yes, I need caregivers but I still have control of my attitude and my emotions and so I have to be responsible for my own happiness. And I have to let those I love know my limitations. This does not mean an hour plus of telling all my woes. It just means simply telling those we want to get to see that I can not stay long, sit long, need to be able to lay down if I need it whether I am at my own home or at theirs, etc.

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image from whatwillmatter.com

I think probably the hardest thing for someone chronically ill is that of learning to entertain ourselves. No one wants to be alone all the time but there will be times we are alone and can not depend on someone to come running to entertain us. I have heard others go on and on about how no one is there to talk to or no one comes to visit. The reality was that people were not there every minute of every day and so the person did not know how to entertain themselves at all.

I am alone for different periods of time during each day, but I am not lonely as I get on the internet and talk to others, I read, I write, I draw and I do other things to keep myself occupied. I know how to entertain myself. Being sick as I am for as long as I have been, I did not want to turn into what I see happening to many chronically ill people. I did not want to turn into one of those needy, clingy and demanding people. Being chronically ill, it is easy for us to become self-absorbed and turn every thing into all about us and I did not want that. I wanted to enjoy what I could out of life and to find ways to still be involved in life as much as possible.

Son and I learned to be very creative in finding ways to keep me involved with friends and loved ones. Years ago when I started getting where I needed to lay down a lot, we decided that the best thing was to put a bed or day bed in the living room so that I could lay out there and enjoy company. At first I was self-conscious and then I soon noticed that those that visited who are really close to me would come and sit or lounge on the bed with me as we all talked or watched a movie and so I did not feel left out and was not stuck back in my bedroom. And if I am feeling too poorly to transfer to the bed in the living room, I will tell people they must come into my bedroom to visit.

I have always wondered why every house built was not built with a handicap entrance and handicap bathrooms considering we have so many chronically ill people in the country. That would make it easier for those like me to go for short visits to other people’s houses. Here, the people I am close with live an hour away and I can not visit them but before we lived here, I had friends that would fix me on the couch with pillows and covers at their house so I could lay there and visit with them and that meant a lot. All it took was just a little creativity. Sometimes all I did was lay there and watch everyone else talking and I enjoyed just doing that.

I learned that talking on a phone was too much for my sensitive ears so I use the speaker phone which makes it where I can lay here and talk. I use small speakers by my bed or by the bed in the living room so that the noise of watching a movie is not too much. I never wear two ear buds as it locks the noise inside my head with no place to go. I wear one so that the sound waves do not cause too much stress on my body.

I have a shower chair with arms as I have trouble sitting up long and it makes showering so much nicer and less draining of my energy. I also have a roll-in shower so that I can roll into the shower sitting in my special shower chair and roll back to the bed in my robe and dress right there on my bed and it saves me energy. There are all sorts of ways to be creative and find steps to lessen the strain and the loss of energy and allow you to do more. I actually comb/brush my hair sitting here on the edge of the bed looking into my computer cam as a mirror.

I find many chronically ill people will not use what is necessary to help them with their daily living because they do not want to be seen using handicap tools. It is that denial stage of being sick and it really makes life harder for us. When I suggest using the handicap carts at a store, they will quickly say they do not need it but then the next time they go to the store all they talk about is how exhausted they are and how they had to cut their shopping short because of the pain and exhaustion. Pride can make life harder.

Talk about creativity. I remember before I got my power chair using a rolling laundry cart with a liner in it to put my groceries in to push them into the house. I even pushed my grand baby in it from the van to the house when she stayed with me. She stood in it holding on to the sides and away we went. So that I could enjoy having her at the house, I blocked off areas so that she played right up near my recliner and I had a place close by for her toys. She often spent many hours playing with her toys and coloring with her book on the pillow I put in my lap to hold her things…all creative ways to enjoy my grand baby even though I was chronically ill and disabled. I even helped her ride her little bicycle by riding beside her in my power chair and holding the back of the seat as she rode.

When my Wonder Dog was alive, and I was in the other house and my room was down this long hallway and I had no power chair, I would walk to the kitchen on my forearm crutches. I had two of those cloth grocery bags tied together that I draped over Jack’s back. In one bag I put my thermos cup of coffee and in the other side I put my little bowl of dry cereal and my plastic jar of milk for the cereal and a spoon. Jack walked beside me carrying my food back to my room: creative ways of doing life.

When I was so sick after having part of my kidney removed , my son took a rolling cooler and put ice in it and loaded it with drinks, my breakfast and lunch, snacks and anything he thought I might need and sat it right beside my recliner so that I had all I needed without me having to try to go fix it: creative ways to make life easier.

There are many ways to adapt if we just take a little time when we are feeling alright to make a list of things that would make it easier for us and how we could adapt things to handle the situations. These are just a few things but they are things that help me with my daily life and make it much better than it would be if I did not make these adaptations. Sometimes we can become so overwhelmed by the sickness or the disability that we lose our own survival skills and find ourselves floundering. When we feel that way and feel like we can not figure any way to make things better, then asking someone close to you to help you brain storm some ideas is a good idea. Life can be tough but we can make it easier with just a little creativity.

August 2, 2014 Posted by | All, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Finish The Race

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I am a fighter. Most of you know that by now. And there are times with pain and health issues that the battle is so hard and people will say “just stop…..just quit….don’t get up anymore if it makes the pain worse.” They do not understand that I can not quit. I am in a race and while I may not win the race….I am determined to finish the race. I came across this video and it said it all for me. I watched it with tears on my face for someone understood why I fight so hard.

video by

 

Quitting is not an option. That is why I do not want to give in to using a power chair all the time. I am determined to at least be able to stand and take a few steps.  A disabled person’s victories may be different from others…but believe me when I say…they are victories. And I am blessed to have some loved ones that do like the man in this video.

When I am fighting with all I have and they see the pain in my eyes or hear it in my voice, they are there in a flash. Yes, they have told me I do not have to keep going, I can quit if I  want to but if I want to keep going..they will walk with me and hold me up til I get going again. One can never be more blessed than that. That is real friends. There was a time I did not have that…and I …with the Creator with me…kept going. But those loved ones who wanted me to know they felt my pain and were there…made it so much more bearable.

I walked in a Walk For Cancer once a about twelve years ago back east. I had just lost two dear people to cancer and I had promised them I would walk that lap for them. I was on these crutches and was not sure how I would do it but I knew I would. My son here could not come as he was at work.  I started that lap thinking “Lord please just get me through this” when I felt a hand on my back and a tiny hand reach up and touch my other hand holding the crutch bar. I looked one way and saw my other son smiling at me. And touching my hand was my grand baby…my sweetpea. She was a little over two years old. She was going to walk with her Mimi…me.

As I struggled to go around that football field on these forearm crutches, I could feel my feet getting heavier and heavier. Suddenly I felt a hand on my back. It was my son beside me pushing gently to help me keep moving. He never told me to stop for he knew how determined I was to finish that lap. And my sweetpea was walking beside me telling me “ou can do it Mimi…ou can do it” and swinging her little arms like she was marching. I could feel the tears on my face as the pain was searing my body but they encouraged me so much to keep going. And I did.

I truly believe the Creator was carrying me the last half for I could not go any further. The closer we got, I could hear people in the bleachers cheering me on. By the time we crossed the finish line, I was collapsing and son helped me to a chair. All the walkers were long gone from that walk. It took me over thirty minutes to do what it took the others less than 15 minutes. I might not have been with the other walkers…but I did finish the race. And no matter the race, I keep fighting to get across that finish line. I might be last but I am there crossing it.

It took me three weeks to get over that walk but you know what…..I would do it again…and again…and again…because staying the course is more important than winning the race. So…never give up when things are tough. You can do it. And let those that love you reach in and be there for you. Do not let anyone stop you though….finish the race. We might start out at the top of our form but sickness or disability change that, but you can still finish the race…some way…some how. And know, when you think you are alone…the Creator of us all is right there holding you. So, I close saying watch this video again and again and remind yourself that winning the race is not always the most important thing…but finishing the race always is. We may not walk the whole way, we may crawl part of the way, we may hop part of the way, we may roll part of the way and we may be carried part of the way…but staying the course and finishing the race is what matters.

July 29, 2014 Posted by | All, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do You Work For Your Dreams?

just keep dreazming
As most of you know, I am a big believer in going for your dreams but how many people are willing to give it all to achieve those dreams? I see people who say they are doing all they can to get their life long dream but in reality, they are just sitting there waiting for the dream to fall in their laps or for someone else to do it for them.

We moved here on a dream. We worked for a year saving every penny we had towards this dream. We did not eat out, buy pops or snacks, did not buy new clothes or technological toys. We put everything we had on the dream and we made it here. Took us a year to do it, but we made it. And that is because we wanted this dream so badly we could taste it.

I have new dreams all the time. Right now my dream is to be back standing again even if I am walking on the forearm crutches and I am giving all I have within the range of not crashing myself to accomplish it. I have a lot to work around health wise but that does not keep me from following my dream. I have other dreams too that I am working on and hopefully will accomplish them. One dream is to return to Italy and I probably will not make it but I sure can dream about it.

Dreams keep us going. They give us the incentive to keep trying and keep working but I have found the most important thing is your drive to accomplish the dream. We can all make excuses why dreams have not come true but I think people find it harder to place any of those excuses on themselves or to take fault when things do not work out.

Self evaluation is so important and unfortunately it is easy to lie to ourselves and everyone else when something does not work. I think it takes a person of authenticity to be able to say they did not put in the effort they should have. I have been on both sides…the denial that it was my fault side and the side of saying “you know what..I was just plain lazy and did not put forth the effort” side. And so I can say with experience that it feels so much better when we can admit our failings so that we can go on to accomplish dreams we still have. That is how we build our inner core up and our character.

You are never too old to dream. Keep dreaming…keep working towards your dreams…never give up. Dreaming gives us hope and hope keeps us going in the worst of times.

start doing

July 28, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Living In The Present

small simply danLrene

video by kalebmann98

(I do not own the rights to this video. It is for educational purposes only)

I think sometimes we get lost in “time frames” in our lives. Some live in the past, some are always looking to the future and they both miss what is happening at the moment. They do not know how to live in the moment and enjoy each moment life gives to us.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.  Mohandas Gandhi

A friend sent me this poem and the words filled my heart and made me realize a few years back that this moment right now is all we are guaranteed. We have no guarantees of tomorrow and we certainly can not go back to yesterday.

“Living In The Moment ”

 I may never see tomorrow;

There’s no written guarantee

And things that happened yesterday

Belong to history.

 I cannot predict the future

I cannot change the past

I have just the present moments

I must treat them as my last.

I must use this moment wisely

For it soon will pass away

And be lost forever

As part of yesterday.

 I must exercise compassion

Help the fallen to their feet

Be a friend unto the friendless

Make an empty life complete.

The unkind things I do today

May never be undone

And friendships that I fail to win

May nevermore be won.

 I may not have another chance

On bended knee to pray

And I thank God with a humble heart

For giving me this day.

Unknown

I used to be one of those people who was always thinking ahead. I would spend so much time thinking about and planning what I WAS going to do that I forgot what I AM doing. After my health changed, I quit taking days for granted and realized that I better make the most of each day because I might not have as many days as everyone else. “Live Like You Are Dying”….make every day the best and the fullest. Live it as if it is your last day. Make sure you have said all the words you want to say to your loved ones, that you have told them how much you love them and how proud you are of them. Put aside things that are really not that important in the realm of things.  Put aside things that are not that important if you were to die today. Sometimes petty things take up too much space in our lives.

 I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following. Mohandas Gandhi

Living in the moment does not mean we should not dream for the future. It simply means that we can not spend our whole life on a future we may or may not have. If we miss all the joys of today, we can never get them back again. They are gone forever. That is why I do not believe in holding on to anger or resentment and believe in forgiving easily. I do not want to go to bed at night with hard feelings in my heart, hurt or anger and risk either me or the person I have these feelings towards dying and we never get to make amends.

Life is too short and if we spend all our time trying to please everyone, trying to make people understand how bad we feel or how hurt we are, or carry resentment around in our hearts or hurt and anger, then we have lost the time we could be spending with those we love. Everyone may not love us like we want them to but I believe that people love in the only way they know how and it may be the best they can love us.
If you knew that you had two days before you were to die, would all the things that keep you upset be so important? Would you still care if people did not get your chronic illness? Would you still be mad because friends went out to eat and did not ask you? Would you still be angry or hurt with family so much that just do not seem to “get it”?
How we allow our emotions to control our lives is a choice and I prefer living my life telling those I love them that I do and telling them often. I choose to forgive quickly and not hold a grudge. I choose to hug and help those around me as much as I can. I can not take things with me so why not use things to help lift others up. And most of all, I choose to live my life trying as hard as I can to have no regrets when I die or when someone I love dies. I do not want to be sitting there saying to myself  “I did not get to tell them I love them before they died.” or “Why did I allow myself to stay so aggravated, angry, etc and not be forgiving and miss time with them?”  For, we can never get back time once it is gone.
threethings

 image from plus.google.com

Live as if today were your last day and you would never have another chance to be with those you love, never have another chance to forgive those that hurt you, never have another chance to make amends with those you have been upset with, never have another chance to show people how much they mean to you. Life as if you were dying tomorrow.

July 22, 2014 Posted by | All, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Shall Pass This Way But Once

small simply danLrene

One of my very favorite quotes and a belief system that is infused within me. I believe in living the moment and letting others know I love them now. I am that way with those I love and kind to those I do not know now for tomorrow may be too late.

My mountains, my mountains…oh,how I love you. These mountains will be forever in my heart and mind. I turn to them when I am feeling bad and feel the air coming off the mountains and smell the sweetness of nature and they soothe my soul.

The spirits are abound on these mountains of ancestors past and they fuel me to keep my warrior going. We could learn much from the native Americans from their views on how to treat the mother earth, how to treat people and how to help others. All was about Mother Earth and all the beauty there in.

But, I shall pass this way but once and so I want to make sure I do all the good I can, love all I can and help all I can so that I leave here with no regrets.

July 21, 2014 Posted by | All, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Older Than Dirt Wisdom

small simply danLrene

Life is so hard and we make so many twists and turns and have to make so many decisions that sometimes we wonder if we are doing the right thing.  I had a friend tell me that they were doing something to help someone but were miserable and cried almost every day about doing it. And so these are “older than dirt wisdom”  things that I learned along the way. Does not make me right but might help someone as the plod along the rough journey called life.

Dying

Only our Creator knows when we will die. We will not die a day sooner or a day later, so leave the dying to the Creator , to our God and focus on living.

Making Decisions

Making decisions requires five things. It requires you to listen to  God, to your head, to your heart, to your head again and finally listening to God again. Our hearts are wonderful things but sometimes they make us make decisions based on guilt, pity or some other emotion and then we find that we are miserable.

How we are made

I love this expression for it is so true. We were created with TWO ears and ONE mouth. I believe the intent was for us to listen twice as much as we talk. And because we only have one mouth, make what goes in and comes out be extremely gentle and easily digested.

Standing up for what is right

It is so easy to be passive and ignore the tragedies and wrong doings going on daily. We can not change the world but we can change what is in our corner of the world, one piece at a time….starting with ourselves. It is amazing how good it feels to stand up for what is right instead of going along with the crowd.

Distance makes for clarity

Sometimes we can be so close to something we can not see the reality. Stepping away for a while gives us that 20/20 vision we need to make smart decisions

Friends

Friends are a wonderful thing. Keep in mind 345 “friends” on Facebook does not make them friends. They are acquaintances. If you come through life with only ONE close friend, you have come through life with something very precious that will last you your whole life.

Love

Never let a day go by without telling those you love that you love them. Actions speak louder than words, but they still love to hear the words too.

Anger

Never let the sun set on your anger. Each day that you allow anger to continue, it becomes easier to stay angry and never heal the gap. “Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.”~~Benjamin Franklin

We are not indispensable

In life here on earth, everyone can be replaced. No one is indispensable. Someone can always do the job we were doing. Never think you must stay where you are because something might fall apart without you. It will not. Life will go on.

Communicating with Others

We all speak from our own “place” and we all use different words with our own definition. What means one thing to someone might mean something entirely different to another. Always ask “what do you mean by?”  for it saves many arguments. And do not react until you are sure you know what the other person is Really saying.

It is OK to Say NO

It really is ok to say No, I can not…..No, I do not want to….and not get caught up in things we really do not want to do. I remember too many times agreeing to do something and then wanting to kick myself afterwards. Those that love you will still love you if you say no. They might get mad for a little bit, but they will get over it. Do not say yes out of guilt. You will hate yourself afterwards. And the more you learn to say no, the more you will find you have time to do the things you really love, with those you love.

Take Life in Bites

I read once that the first bite of food, no matter the item, is the best taste. Each bite after dims in great flavor as your taste buds get used to is. I love going to buffet’s and I take one small spoonful of each thing and sit and savor the flavors. My plate looks like a sampler. So sample life one bite at a time. Too much of something dulls the excitement and flavor. Remember the days of youth. How exciting things were. Rekindle that as a child. We do not have to have everything but we can feel like we do by enjoying what we have.

Laugh

Laughter is a great healer and helps you to get rid of stress. I have laughed til I cried even in the midst of really hard times.  We do not have to be all serious or sad or down and never laugh just because something bad happened.

Never Defend Something Blindly

Believe and have faith in what you believe in but always make sure you are defending it with facts and not just emotion. When you defend something, ask yourself “why?” and the reasons should be more than “it’ is wonderful” or “it’ is great”.  You should be able to tell valid reasons. Otherwise we become like the groupies who follow this or that star all over the globe but can not really give you a good reason why.

Do Not Depend on Others for Happiness or Validation

Our happiness should not be defined by “things” or “people”  or “places” for those things can disappear. It comes from inside us. Neither should we let someone be the only thing that validates us or tells us we are worthy. For they are only human.  Learn to validate yourself. You know when you have done a good job or when you have done something worthy. Be proud of that and validate from within that what you did is good.

Treat Each Day Like It Is Your Last

Every day is a gift. Treat each day like it is your last and see the wonder and awe in each one.

Let Your Conscience Guide You

Our conscience tells us when we are doing something we should not be doing. If we are feeling uncomfortable, unhappy, angry, etc with what we are doing….it is time to step away from it and figure out why.

I love this. Read it once a long time ago.

These 3 things once gone you can never get back: Time, words and opportunity

These 3 things in life can destroy a person: anger, pride and unforgiveness.

These 3 things in life are the most important: Love, family/friends and kindness

Your Self Value
whatever value you place on yourself…others will too

“Write the bad t hings that are done to you in sand but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble.”  Arabic Proverb

July 20, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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