Here Today and Gone Tomorrow

I posted pictures of all the snow. The pictures below are the the day before and show how deep the snow got.  And as Colorado is prone to do, there are times it is here today and gone tomorrow.

Jack and his potty square. LOL

It got so deep Jack could not walk in it and son had to shovel paths so that he could get to the square to potty without the snow touching his hiney.

And today, it looks like this.

And here is jack in his morning attire. He suffers with athritis so that he gets hobbled up and in pain if we don’t keep him covered.   And that’s my story and I am sticking to it.  He loves to lay on his towel and stare out the sliding glass doors.

And last but not least, son putting up the reed privacy fencing.

We are a long ways from being done. Son wants to add lights from the peak of the room down to the end posts. …the little LED lights that put out a nice glow and lights on the little tree. He also wants to add a grill and a piece of outdoor carpet for our chairs and table. The table is not showing now and a table to sit outside and eat at. I have so enjoyed this gift of privacy fencing. Angels come in all forms. I sat outside in the sun yesterday and it was awesome. Being disabled, having a sanctuary out in the sun is such a blessing. Son fixed the one step so it is easy to get in and out and has a bar on the door for me to pull up with.

 

First Snow

Have you ever thought about how life is made up of many firsts. First day of school, first Christmas, first child, first home, first job, first girl/boyfriend, first book I ever read, first heartbreak, first school I went to, first paper I ever wrote and the list goes on.

Well, today is our first snow in our first totally owned home and our first one in our little town. It is unfortunately, the yukkie wet kind but it is still beautiful. I so love how Jack reacts for he feels it hit his face and then snatches his head around like “who did that???”  and looks so funny. Then he does this snort thing.

The pictures start with this morning and then each time we went out, it shows more and more snow as the day progresses. Click on pictures to enlarge.

then an hour later:

and a couple more hours go by

And still coming down so not telling how much more.

Yesterday, son took me for a ride to see the Halloween decorations around town. I got a few pictures to share.

And I loved this in someone’s yard. Look at the bear and at Rudolph. LOL

And last but not least, my mountains.

‘

Self Soothing

I had never heard this term used before until the past few years when I was doing a class for early childhood for my teaching certificate. Most of us either learn how to self sooth or fail to learn how to self sooth as babies.

“SELF-SOOTHING has to do with comforting, nurturing and being kind to yourself. One way to think of this is to think of ways of soothing each of your five senses.”

The baby in the crib that is fed, changed, etc but still not content has not learned how to self sooth and how to distract himself. And often, we set the pace for them by picking them up every time they make a sound. And, as adults, we sometimes perpetuate this by never wanting our children to have to deal with anything painful or sad and then they become adults who do not know how to self sooth.

Photo from the “Age-by-Age Sleep Training Guide by Cara Birnbaum

Babies do things like suck their thumbs to self soothe.  Many times adults do things that are harmful to self soothe, like drinking or over eating. So, what happens if we never learn how to self soothe by the time we are adults?  What happens if we don’t know how to handle painful things, disappointment, sadness, and other emotions? And what causes us to never learn this?

As I lay here thinking about all this and reading some on the internet, I realized that when we as parents try to make life nothing but “happy happy” for our children and never let them learn to experience the more difficult emotional  things, then by the time they reach adulthood, they are already having problems.

Many shut down in a crisis or avoid facing problems. They depend on others or things to soothe them instead of learning how to self soothe. They overeat, over medicate, drink too much, shoplift, over obsess on things or become so emotionally crippled by things that they can not deal with life as it it…filled with good things and with sad and hard things. I had to learn how to self soothe when I was having anxiety attacks many years ago. I would call this friend or that friend needing them to do it for me and one day, I could find no one. And I realized then that if I did not figure out how to soothe myself, then I would go through this every time.

I have learned to recognize when my nerves are jangled or when I just can not take one more thing happening and have learned steps for myself to sooth myself until I feel calmer. I have also learned to do preventative things to self soothe since I am such a sensory person and feel things so intensely.

I am an extremely sensory person to the point someone can talk about a fire and I smell smoke. I also learned that certain things made my nerves on edge more. I decided to really pay attention and see what set off shaky nerves or set off my pain to higher levels besides the normal things of over doing, etc.

What I learned was that for me, bright lights, loud noises, crowds, hot temperatures, etc worked on my senses until I would find myself more emotionally susceptible to anxiety. So, I set about creating a serenity environment for me.

People come into our home and tell me how peaceful and serene it feels. Well, that is because I worked hard to create serenity in the home. Everyone should have at least one room that is the serenity room, especially if you can not make the whole house that way.

I read a lot and studied and this is what I learned. Bright lights? We created a lot of non direct lighting. The only time I had bright lights was if I was working on a project I needed to see up close. Softer more indirect lights were on all over the house and made each room very soothing. Due to my disabilities, I also use remote control lighting a lot so that if I am feeling tense, I can turn off lights around the room without having to get up or call for help.

Loud noises? We bought small computer speakers for the televisions and son ran wires so that the tv sound was never on….just the speakers were. Which meant that you could watch tv and hear the tv but could still carry on a conversation in the kitchen while sitting in the living room.Not only did it make it easier to hear the television but the sound was not blaring across the room from the tv making you want to scream for someone to turn it down.

I read a lot on serenity and Feng shui and I discovered that using a lot of green plants and brass and glass in the house also helped cut down on noise. It seemed to block outside noise from coming in but also absorbed the sounds inside. And so, we used this a lot in the house.

I like to watch a tv show to put me to sleep. But, then the noise of the television would wake me back up. I have speakers for my computer and my television so that the sound is right here beside my head and  use an ear bud at nite so that when I fall asleep, as soon as I roll  or move my head, it falls out and the television does not waken me. I also set my computer screen to turn off after a certain length of time so that the light does not waken me. All done to self soothe me and keep me relaxed.

I have learned that another self soothing device for me is the need for air to be moving. And so I have little fans all over the house that I turn on depending on where I am. I don’t need someone to soothe me for this. I do it myself.

The biggest self soothing thing I learned when upset was that being upset increased my pain and so I would go to my room and lay down with the lights low, no sound devices on and the fan blowing and just lay there allowing myself to relax but also allowing my senses to not be bombarded with things that increased my anxiety or pain.

I learned when upset to find things to soothe myself so that I could handle whatever was upsetting me. There are things I like to do that are “self soothing”. I love to read, to draw, to take pictures, to cook, to sit outside in the sun, etc. These are all self soothing things for me. So, when something bad happens, I “self sooth” so that my emotions and my brain can handle things.

I have heard people say before that they cried all the time for weeks because of something that happened. When we do that, we have not learned to sooth ourselves so that we are able to deal with the situation. And so the emotions keep racing through our heads over and over like a broken record and each time it does that increases the pain and anxiety until it becomes a raw wound being scraped over and over.

And friends/family will only listen so long until they get tired of hearing the same sad story that we call and tell them wanting them to sooth us instead of soothing ourselves. Does this mean we should never lean on friends/family or talk to them about what is wrong? No, but it does mean that we should not use them as the only source of soothing and we should learn how to do some of the soothing ourselves.

I have learned to change how I do things. For example, crowds really make my nerves on edge and so we have learned not to go shopping when it is really crowded times. We learned to do smaller gatherings in the house too. It is all part of being aware of your own personal playing field and knowing what bothers you and what does not and finding ways to handle these things before it happens.

I remember my youngest son would tickle his own arm to put himself to sleep. That is self soothing. I rock back and forth when I am going to sleep for it lulls me to sleep and seems to break the race car pattern that can happen when laying here trying to sleep where thoughts race round and round in you brain.

So where do you start with self soothing?. First, it helps to figure out what makes your nerves on edge in general, like the lights, noise, etc things I did. Second, I think realizing that there may not always be someone to soothe you helps in learning how to soothe yourself. I had a friend once who got upset because of a car wreck her son had been in. He was ok but she did not know that at the time. She called about ten people and no one was home and she finally drove to my house and when I opened the door she was in hysterics and just went to pieces. I remember asking her, what would you have done if I was not home?

So, realizing that someone may not always be around, helps in deciding a course of action for when you are upset. Ok, what do I do?  Well, what soothes you. Those are the things you turn to so that your emotional self can soothe down and then you are able to deal with the crisis.

It may not be a perfect solution, but try it sometimes for it sure does help.

Winter Storm Warning

We are under a winter storm warning and boy the clouds are showing it. Son took these for me and you can see where the air is very turbulent and fronts are hitting each other.

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Do We Live In a “Too Accustomed to” World?

I just woke up, laying here in the semi darkness of my room and found myself getting a sense of panic because I realized that Jack did not wake me all nite. And that made me think about how we become used to things and when they change, it makes us feel a sense of loss or panic or whatever.  Son is used to me being awake well before he is, and one morning he woke up and I was still dead asleep. He came in and was frantically shaking me saying “Mom! Mom!” and of course scared the crap out of me. LOl. But, he was used to be being awake and so thought something was wrong.

As I lay here, I began thinking about life in general.  Becoming accustomed to something can be a good thing and a bad thing. I am accustomed to my coffee pot coming on and having my coffee ready when I wake up. That is a good thing. But, we also are accustomed to Facebook taking our privacy away bit by bit and so it does not seem as bad each time they do it and that is a bad thing for we are giving up our privacy and not doing anything about it.

All through life, we have been accustomed to things happening and few make attempts to do anything about it. I loved it when people got mad over the price of gas going up so high and so refused to buy on a certain day. They were trying to make a change for the good.

Daily, prices go up on us, politicians change things on us and don’t serve us….the ones they are elected to represent but represent themselves,  children are abducted and killed, abuse goes on, swindlers take your money (remind me to tell you about the scanner that stole my bank card and took four hundred plus dollars from my account), politicians promise this and do that, people argue over petty things, honor and trust are broken, people are starving and living without>>>>>>>>and yet for the most part, we have become jaded and just are accustomed to this and see no change in sight.

In our personal life, we become accustomed to the little things. I am accustomed to my son doing all the cooking and when he is sick, I find myself at loose ends trying to figure out what to do for the meals. I am accustomed to Jack’s snoring hum in my bedroom at night and when he decides to sleep on his bed in the living room instead, I find myself having a hard time going to sleep.

I read somewhere that it takes at least six weeks to change a habit. That means the person who tells you “I will change” has not yet really changed until at least six weeks of daily showing you the same changed behavior.  So, what keeps us holding on that things will be different?  Hope?  Faith? loss of sensitivity?

I fight my own personal battles for that is really all I can do as I am not in good enough shape to be an activist. I refuse to buy dog food and we make our own. I won’t buy it because of the way the horses are being brutalized and killed to make it. That is my personal statement. Plus, Jack is so much better on homemade and has lived longer than the vets thought being fed without all the junk that comes in dog food. I refuse to vote for politicians with the reputation of not following through. Another personal statement of mine. I won’t buy from shady business people. And I try hard to not let all the negative things that the media shoves down our throat filter into my life and make me become even more cynical.

I am still appalled at abuse and child abductions and wonder how we can put a man on the moon and not find these children. I am still appalled at the greediness of people in the world who will not help those less fortunate. I am still appalled that our government uses the very people that voted them in because they believed in them and they use us to fill their own personal goals and desires of grandeur. And I hope I never “become accustomed” to these things.

And on a personal level, I try not to become so accustomed to things that my sons do for me that I forget to thank them and tell them how much it means. I think that not telling them is taking our loved ones for granted. I had a few people work under me this past year and I constantly told them how good they did their jobs and how much I appreciated them for I never wanted them to feel like they were just being used or taken advantage of. This is how I am and what I strive to do for my own loved ones and my friends. I want people around me to know that I do not take them for granted and that I appreciate all they do for me. I want to never become so “accustomed” to those around me that I fail to see how special they are.

Some things I think are good to be accustomed to. Right now we are under a winter storm warning…and I am accustomed to being warm. But we are also taking precautions to make sure we stay warm. We have the generator, have all the underground vents insulated, etc. So, even when we are accustomed to something, we don’t want to be so accustomed that we fail to take care of things that are our responsibility. This is like voting. We might be accustomed to the corrupt politicians winning, but does not mean we should not go out and vote.

I am accustomed to all my handicap accessible things I have in my home and when I go out, it is always hard and a shock to see that not everything is handicap accessible. It is a vivid reminder to be on guard and watch and take care of myself. But, it is also a reminder that if I have trouble, so will other handicap people and I should speak up and say something when things are not handicap accessible.

I went on a church trip to Italy. And we were coming out of the Vatican with these long steps. And everyone went off and left an elderly woman who had trouble walking and myself…..and I am on forearm crutches. So, I held her hand and used one crutch to get us both down the steps. Now, I could have been so accustomed to people around the world with disabling problems that I just went on my merry way. But, thankfully, I am not. I don’t ever want to be so used to seeing people struggle that I don’t stop to help someone, even though I am handicapped.

Taking control and not allowing ourselves to become so accustomed to the way things are means being aware. Walk down the street one day and look at the people. I mean really look. See the ones who are struggling. See the ones doing without. When you are visiting, really take a look at people’s homes and notice if they are doing without food, heat, clothing, support, whatever. When listening to people and this means the politicians and the media especially, really “HEAR” what they are saying. Don’t just hear the drone of their words. Listen to the meaning and the intonations.If you watch people long enough, they will show you who they really are.

Being aware all the time means that it won’t be so easy to just become accustomed to things the way they are but that you notice when these things don’t seem right or when someone is saying without saying..that they need help. And ask yourself questions. People do not generally do things out of the goodness of their heart.

Facebook does not make all these changes just to please us. They do it because it increases their money. A business does not generally offer a “deal” because it is to help us. It helps them. So always be aware so that you are not so accustomed that you are taken advantage of. Don’t let people rob you emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially just because you are so accustomed to their pitch or their words or their actions that you don’t see the true story. Politicians will promise you the moon to get elected, te$evangelists will make you feel like you will prosper more and won’t go to hell if you send money and if you don’t, then your faith is not strong enough, loved ones will play on your heart strings. It is our job to not be so accustomed that we fail to see the signs. People WILL abduct children and these people walk among us but we are accustomed to seeing them so we don’t notice. Becoming too accustomed means that our senses are down and we are not paying attention until it is too late.

So, what are you accustomed to today?  And what have you done about it so that you don’t become so accustomed that you don’t take care of things you need to or that you don’t speak up for injustice or that someone is not taking advantage of you or that you lose someone and wonder how did this happen. Why didn’t I see it?

Coyote-ville and Winter Storm Warnings

We were up again last nite with Jack and his poor tummy. And since son does not want me going outside at night with Jack, I had to wake him up to take him out after I gave Jack medicine. Son had told me about hearing coyotes the other nite, but last nite was my first experience hearing them.

Colorado Division of Wildlife literature.

Once you hear a pack of coyotes, you will never forget it and they were very close. Our street is the next to last street of town. After that, it is fields and woods. As we sat on our new patio and whispered while Jack did his thing, suddenly there was this high-pitched frenzy of barking and yelping and baying sounds. It sounded like they had found something and were all jumping on it.  It went on for a few minutes and then dead silence.

My mind flickered to the pioneers who traveled out here in the covered wagons and to the early Native American’s here before them. I can’t imagine sleeping in the open like they did and hearing the sound of the coyotes as they find their food. That had to be an intimidating sound. It echoed here with the mountains behind it and the flat plains in front of it.  The sound did not even phase Jack. He just kept on wandering around looking for the perfect spot. LOL

It is funny how we take their land today and because we do, they must be killed or controlled. According to the literature I am reading, they are all over Colorado and especially in this area. I don’t care. Long as they leave me and son and Jack alone, then I am fine

Sometimes, dreams are postponed for a little while. We want to get the back yard finished now but know that it will be summer before we do. And that is ok. So, yesterday, son covered the roof of the shed with a brown tarp. He didn’t want to have the snows come and then cause flooding through the areas where the shingles had blown off.

So now all the stuff in the storage unit will be ok until spring and summer when son can build a new storage unit. and at least brown is better than bright blue. LOL  I felt like I was back in the south in hurricane country when he talked about putting a tarp over the roof of that little shed and was greatly relieved to see he bought brown.

So, we are winterizing around the house. I say “we” but it is son. I am just the “hander” if he needs something.. He got the shed covered, and the fence moved over so that we now go out the side door instead of out the sliding glass door in the back so that we can cover it and stop the leaking around the door. He is going to put the bamboo fence up between us and the neighbors today and get all the patio stuff up on the concrete patio. That way, nothing to trip over in the snow.

And speaking of snow….hahaha…my “think snow” sign must be working. Weatherbug on my computer made that alert sound and it said “Winter Storm Warning” for Walsenburg and it went on to say that 6 inches of snow is expected on Wednesday.  Oh dear, six inches of snow and we still can’t find our snow boots. We have looked everywhere and they are just plain gone. With all the moving and spending seven weeks in a motel and then all the upheaval here at the house until we got it where things were in place, those boots could have ended up anywhere.

And the wonderful news is that with all this 32 degree temperatures first thing in the mornings, our heater has YET to come on and this house is 70 degrees.  This is some insulated house and that will certainly make for lower heating bills.

I so enjoyed sitting on our new patio looking at the sky and the leaves all around. The leaves are changing here and the gold is here. I love it. I also loved catching this big jet right as the sun was starting to go down.

And one of the many times that we had to go out with Jack and his tummy last nite, son made me hot cocoa and we sat with the glow of the lights in the flower pots on the step of the patio. One time was fun. Five times….haha …became work. But Jack is worth is.

which is this in daylight

And as I sipped my hot cocoa, I was sure hoping that coyotes did not like hot cocoa cause they sounded awfully close. LOL

What Are We Saving All This For?

I remember hearing how we should put up the “good stuff” and save it. I always wondered “save it for what?” but has only been in my older years that I have thought much about it. I dated a guy whose aunt put everything up in a trunk. It did not matter if it was a new can opener, anything new went into the big trunk. She died before she could use any of it.Why do we save this stuff?

I am sure many remember growing up with the “hope chest” where you put everything for when you got married. Then the hope chest turned into the “save it for special times” chest. I thought about this as I lay here. Are we telling ourselves that we are not worthy enough to use this stuff every day? That it must only be used when something “special” warrants it.

I have a friend that talks about the things that hit our “frontal lobe” of our brain and how that is what we remember first. If we consistently say we must save things for “special events” or for “something special”, then we are telling ourselves we are not special enough to use these things. Use the good china, wear the good dress, use the good lotions and the special sheets and towels. You are worth it.

Every day you are alive is a special occasion.  Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.  ~Mary Manin Morrissey

I remember the mother of a friend of mine. She loved fancy linens. You know the kind with the expensive embroidery or the crochet edges. And she bought and bought pieces she found at sales and stored them all in a buffet chest. She never ever used the first piece. One day, when she was seventy, she went into the buffet cabinet to get a piece she wanted to see and discovered that mice had gotten in these drawers and chewed them all up to make nests. All those beautiful, expensive linens…lost. All the precious memories that could have been made using those pieces with family and loved ones….lost.

I love this song of Kenny Chesney for he talks about what the “good stuff” is. It is not a bunch of things we pile in a trunk and save for special occasions but rather the moments in life that are special…the love we have for each other and the times that we did things that made the moment special.

video by boyceavenuefan56

‘Cause it’s the first long kiss on a second date
Momma’s all worried when you get home late
And droppin’ the ring in the spaghetti plate ’cause
your hands are shakin’ so
much
And it’s the way that she looks with the rice in her
hair
Eatin’ burnt supper the whole first year
And askin’ for seconds to keep her from tearin’ up
Yeah man, that’s the good stuff …………

And look into those eyes so deep in love
And drink it up
‘Cause that’s the good stuff
That’s the good stuff

We have no guarantees of tomorrow, and so saving the “good stuff” means we might never get to use it. Also, saving our words for special times means we may never get to say the things we want to say to the person or they may never get the chance to hear it. Letting those you love know how much you love them now means that the moment is never lost.

video by MrShinyMoon

I love Erma Bombeck and the articles she wrote. When she found out she was dying of cancer, she wrote an article entitled “If I had to LIve My LIfe Over” and in it she said”

“… I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. … I would have sat on the lawn with my kids, even if it meant grass stains.”

Treat life as if every day were a special occasion. Enjoy eating on those fancy dishes, or drinking the good wine, or drying off with the big fancy towels or sleeping on the expensive sheets. And treat everyone that you love as if it were the last moment of your life and the last time you might see them. Love with abandon…love generously…love deeply…and love NOW.

If you knew today were your last day on earth….who would you call?  Think about it and write down a name or names.  Ok, now look at the name(s).   Well, what are you waiting for. Go call them.   Hear your messenger binging? Hear your phone ringing?  It is me saying “I LOVE YOU”

That it will never come again
Is what makes life so sweet.
~Emily Dickinson

And know that you all are always on my mind.

video by mountaindewaddict5

So, let’s have a party and open all those trunks filled with things for “special events”  and use them.

 

 

♫♫♫ If You Don’t Know Me By Now ♫♫♫

I believe friends are an important part of our lives. Friends are just as close if not closer at times than family. I think that Facebook has distorted the meaning of “Friend” and so people think of it as a popularity contest instead of a relationship.

I have said before that we should love people “in spite of” not “because of” what they say or do, for we are all human and will all make mistakes or say and do stupid things or things out of hurt or anger.  To me, that means that real friends tolerate a lot and love us anyway.  And if they see us act in a certain way….they just know us and how we are and don’t take immediate offense.

video by andjeo1008

My son and I have had to really learn what communication is because the lack of communication or misunderstanding what another person says can destroy wonderful relationships, whether they are family, friends, lovers, spouses, whatever. And real close friends have learned to understand the other person and know what the mean even when it comes out wrong.

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

Before we moved over the mountain, I got so discouraged and felt like that other house would never sell. It had been two years it was on the market. The song in my heart was moving to my mountains but it was getting lost in all the  waiting for the dream to happen. A close friend of mine kept “singing my song in my heart” back to me even amid my tears of discouragement. She helped keep me reminded of my dream when the dream seemed lost and I am eternally grateful to her for that. She is one that this quote fits so well.

“A friend is one who walks in when others walk out”
-Walter Winchell

A real friend stands by you, even when they disagree. They fight for you, they tell you when you are wrong, they laugh with you and they cry with you. They get mad when someone mistreats you. They hold your hand when you have no words.They stand by you.

video by aidamath

A dear friend who passed away from cancer five years ago, used to say the funniest thing to me when I was hurt by someone or someone was ugly to me. She would say in her New Jersey accent “you want me to come whup their ass?”  And I would laugh because she was so funny but I also knew she would come defend me and help me no matter where I was.. She really cared what I had to say and really listened. When you find friends like that today, treasure them for they are rare. I feel blessed that I do have friends like that and no it is not 694 Facebook friends. It is real friends that have dried my tears, laughed with me, talked in the dark with me, understood me and defended me when seemed like no one else would.

“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”
Arnold H. Glasow

‎This quote reminds me of my son here who takes care of me. When we are walking down a hill and it is precarious for me on crutches, he walks in front of me ….he says to stop the fall. True friends will try to step between you and trouble, will try to keep you from getting hurt, will grab your hand when you seem to be going off in a dangerous direction and will love you even when you act like an ass. Real friends raise you up…they do not pull you down.

video by toomuchfun09

So, I leave you with this. A real friend could live states away, but when you are in need, will find a way to help you. I received a box of food from a friend who knew times were tough. I received gas from a friend who lived states away because they knew I needed it to go to the doctor. I have had a friend sit up holding my hand and drying my tears during the nite when pain was so horrific. A real friend is someone you could call from a thousand miles away and say “I am in trouble. I need help” and they will find a way to get help to you. And if you are a real friend to someone…you will do the same. For real friends are not separated by time, distance or circumstances when it comes to being there for each other.

When my son was dx with the lesion in his brain, a friend that I was best friends with in high school contacted me and said “let me help you get to your son. Let me help you get your airplane ticket”.  I was blown away.  So time…how long it has been since you last talked, distance…even from another country ..circumstances..do not stop real friends. For friendship is more than that…it is a rare form of family that does not happen everyday and when you have it, take care of it. Don’t mistreat it or misuse it. Just be the same friend in return. And if you only have one real friend….you are still rich beyond words. Real friends do not come in high numbers but in their love for you.

video by hatchounyy

Pain Delirium and a Dog With a Sense of Humor

There is nothing like being in that lack of sleep, pain delirium and having a dog with a sense of humor. The past few days since the hospital fun have been short on sleep and high on pain and medicine. Which makes for that kind of delirious sleep where you wake up enough to know you are awake but can’t quite focus on what is going on.

I found sleep elusive but when it finally hit, I found I slept hard. This is the kind of sleep my sons loved when younger for they would ask me could they do something and no telling the answer I would give. I had to make a “rule” that said “if Mom is sleeping, the answers do not count” to keep from finding out later I gave them permission to ask all their friends over for a party or drive the car, etc.

Last nite, I was not sleeping well and the couple of times I slept I was in that dead zone. One of those times my Jack once again managed to trick me and I know he was sitting over there laughing like this:

video by BafoDeChucrute

First, let me explain two things. I sleep in a hospital bed with the control on that long cord. The other thing is , son has my oxygen hose strung across the ceiling and goes through a pipe up at the top of the wall over my door so that the machine is out in the other room. Because of the night lights on all over the house, that hole leaves a nice glow at night.

Now, to Jack and his sense of humor. Evidentially, I did not hear him scratching the shredding machine  wanting me to wake up because he was hungry. So, left to his own devices, Jack decides to use another method that he has been known to use in the past.  Now, had I not been sleep deprived, in pain and on medication, I might have realized this is what he was doing.

I wake up to this sensation of going upward….my legs and my feet both are moving up and first thing that crosses my mind is that God has come to get me. I am talking and saying “God is that you?”  I am looking around frantically and see this glowing tube and my exhausted brain thinks “there is the “light” everyone talks about and I start hollering  “I am coming. I see the Light. I see the light”.

Next thing I know, son is shaking me and saying  “Mama, Mama….are you ok” and when I open my eyes, I see son and think “Gosh, God took him too” and say “oh, you are here too?”  Son is well familiar with me dreaming and sees Jack sitting by the bed where the remote to the bed is hanging and figures out what is going on and starts laughing. He had heard me talking but thought at first I was talking to Jack and then realized I was dreaming again.

He tells me Jack is messing with my bed again and I look towards that side and there Jack sits with that big toothy grin only a dog can make and I swear he is laughing. So, the moral of this story is never trust a dog like Jack when you are in a hospital bed and in pain and sleeping.

And be sure and pinch your son when he comes close for mine is sticking his head in the door and saying  “seen the light mama?”  and then starts singing  ♫♫I SEE THE LIGHT♫♫ as he dances in and out the door.

Is there a “New Anatomy” Course Now?

I will be the first to say, that when the “New Math” came out, that I was not too impressed and did not want to try it. And I realize there are a lot of changes in education. But, I do have to ask after my experience two days ago at the doctor’s office. Is there now a “New Anatomy” for students to learn?

I went to the Kidney specialist and must say I was quite impressed with him. He knew all about the diseases I have and is rated highly and hard to get in to see. But, when he told me he wanted a brain scan, I sat there puzzled because I could not figure out how the brain had anything to do with the tumor in my kidney. My mind raced around trying to figure this out.

First, I found myself mentally singing the ditty that says “the hip bone’s connected to the….”

Dry Bones

Written By: Unknown, Copyright Unknown

Ezekiel cried, “Dem dry bones!”
Ezekiel cried, “Dem dry bones!”
Ezekiel cried, “Dem dry bones!”
“Oh, hear the word of the Lord.”

The toe bone connected to the heel bone,
The heel bone connected to the foot bone,
The foot bone connected to the leg bone,
The leg bone connected to the knee bone,
The knee bone connected to the thigh bone,
The thigh bone connected to the back bone,
The back bone connected to the neck bone,
The neck bone connected to the head bone,
Oh, hear the word of the Lord!

Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk aroun’
Dem bones, dem bones, gonna walk aroun’
Dem bones, dem bones, gonna walk aroun’
Oh, hear the word of the Lord.

The head bone connected to the neck bone,
The neck bone connected to the back bone,
The back bone connected to the thigh bone,
The thigh bone connected to the knee bone,
The knee bone connected to the leg bone,
The leg bone connected to the foot bone,
The foot bone connected to the heel bone,
The heel bone connected to the toe bone,
Oh, hear the word of the Lord!

And I could not find one place that said the head bone’s connected to the kidney bone.  Ok, so why a brain scan?  Maybe there is a “NEW ANATOMY”  course and the kidney has moved or maybe I failed anatomy back in college or maybe they just passed me to get rid of me. Or was the Doctor telling me I got my hiney on my shoulders? I really was not sure. But when I ask him, after the stunned feeling went away, he said the scan was to make sure tumors had not gone to brain. That I can live with.

And so I had my scans and I am laying here in bed in high pain flat on my back…or is that now my shoulder?  ….and typing on my tummy…which could be my elbow. I am not sure with all this “new anatomy”.  LOL

UPDATE:  Just got a call and the doctor’s office told me they want a detailed scan of my lung now too. I wanted to say “uhhhh is that my old lung or one in a new place???”   LOL

And moving on to other things. Just had to share with you a picture of Jack on his scooby doo pillow. what a hoot he is. He also has a scooby doo blanket and a scooby doo stuffed animal to match.  It was so funny the other nite. He ate  and then came in and got me up. It was about ten at nite. I thought he wanted to go potty. He led me to his bed in the living room and picked up his blanket and wanted me to cover him. Now, I am here to tell you…this is one rotten dog. But we love him. He makes me laugh. He guards me when I am hurting like now and he is too smart for his own good. And he has two special beds. One in the living room by son’s chair and his hut here in my bedroom. He too has tumors. Amazing isn’t it.

And now, I may not know anatomy, but I do know mountains. On our way back from the doctor, I took these pictures. You can see the snow on the mountain tops and the leaves are changing. Here we get more golden yellow colors and not the bright reds and oranges like back east. I love it.

This picture shows you there is absolutely no breeze going on. You never see this in the summers so that tells me this must be steam coming out.  Don’t forget to click on the pictures to enlarge them and if you want them even bigger, click control and the plus sign.

I love these mountains. Their beauty, their starkness and the strength and courage it took our ancestors to go over them.

And this last one is called the Bosom of Mother Earth and means I am close to home.