Middle of the Night Rambling
I think we all at some time or another contemplate our own mortality and it is usually the most common when someone has passed on. And, depending on how our beliefs are, we find some resolution. I have a great faith in the world beyond. I believe that is why I am allowed to see the faces in the clouds that I do. I open my heart and mind.
With my health like it is, I think about these things at times but it is more in a sense of making sure that I have done all I wanted or needed to do. Have I taken care of all the legalities so my son is ok, have I made sure to always let those I love know that and have I settled my conscience with the Creator. Those types of things. I don’t dwell on dying as some do for to me it is just another journey that I will be making only one day when my time comes….and when I do, I won’t have to be Robo Mom.
So, as I lay here in the middle of the night, I was thinking about Whitney and what a hard life she had and how she is finally free. I am sure many will bring up on the internet and media about her drug problems and domestic problems, but the truth is…if any of us were put under the scrutiny that someone like Whitney was put under, there would be plenty to be found that didn’t look good.
For me, when someone I know or someone I love dies, it is a lesson on compassion not on tearing them down. Compassion seems to be lacking in the world today. Maybe some people are just worn out and find it hard to feel compassion. I used to take care of those with cancer…yes on these forearm crutches and had a cancer support group. And I think anything we can do to make the end of life easier for people, we should do. Perhaps that is why I loved the concept of Hospice. They bring compassion and care not just for the patient but for the family and yet people will resist it to the bitter end. I am not sure why. I think for the same reason many people will put off making a will…because it feels like if they do they are saying they are dying.
I know there is life beyond here and no one has been able to convince me that I did not see heaven when I had kidney surgery and they had to work on me so long as I was having a lot of problems on the operating table. I didn’t see the white tube many talk of. What I saw was like standing in the doorway of a room that is dark and looking out into another room that is lit up….and it was the most beautiful, pristine place you could imagine. Such colors and purity. I believe the emeralds and rubies mentioned in Revelations are the intensity of the colors. The grass was such a glowing green, the flowers such deep and rich colors. And people were walking around and animals were in the fields.
And I came home from that surgery with such a peace in my heart. Life has not been easy since that surgery but when things are tough….I can close my eyes and see that other world and it brings such joy and makes everything alright. And when I see faces in the sky like this picture below…..I know that the other world is out there….just a breath away. The first time I saw this boy’s face and that house in the sky, I cried. I assure you I have not done anything to this picture except circle what I saw. Son was with me and saw it. He has learned to recognize when the faces are in the clouds and will come and tell me …”Mom, they are here….get your camera”. We are all homeward bound sometime in our lives and knowing there is a home on the other side is very assuring to me.
“I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than to live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is”
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