Dealing With Emotions
I ran across the videos below when reading on a feed of mine. As a former teacher, I have often thought that children are not taught to deal with the hard emotions…grief, anger, fear, sadness, etc. And, we have ended up with many adults who can not deal with these emotions. I believe it comes from learning how to talk about these emotions and about learning to express our emotions. But, this does not seem to happen anymore in schools and so we have a society that has many people who have no empathy for others, who resort to anger when scared or upset instead of dealing with the fear. I have heard people say that when something upsets them, hurts them, scares them….that they go straight to anger. Know why? Because anger is easier to deal with and seems to be an accepted emotion and fear, grief, sorrow, sadness etc are not.
People not only have not learned to deal with their own emotions but they have not learned how to deal with someone going through traumatic times in their lives. I believe this is why when someone dies, after a few days…others will start telling them to “get over it” or “move past it”, not because of concern for the person feeling these emotions but because the one that sees or hears someone else with these emotions….it makes them feel uncomfortable and they don’t want to deal with that. Pain is another one people have trouble dealing with. Seeing someone else in pain is too hard for some to deal with and then things happen like has happened to me….comments like “take another pain pill and let’s go”.
So, how do we deal with this problem? I believe that the teacher below has one of the best examples I have ever seen. Children in school….young children…are being taught to deal with the emotions of a classmate losing a parent….which may in turn trigger a loss on the other children. I sat and watched all five of these videos and this man is an outstanding teacher. He is teaching for life skills not to make a name for himself as Teacher of the year. He is teaching for the future of the kids and them learning the importance of empathy, of dealing with emotions and not hiding them away, of acceptance, of standing up when bullying or inappropriate behavior happens, of bonding to people….all things necessary to live in this world as a responsible adult.
We are in a technological world now where people do their socializing on the internet and by doing so, they do not have to see the pain on another person and if someone posts about something traumatic, a person can just click to another page or site. All advances are not always good for us as humans. We don’t teach this in school because so many raised an uproar many years ago and did not want values of any kind taught in schools, and then when we get out of school…the world is the monitor after we rush home from work.
While this teacher is teaching young children, I think you will see many valuable lessons in these videos, like the importance of not stuffing your feelings back but expressing them no matter how painful. For once you get them out, then they are not as powerful. And the importance of standing up for what is right and bonding beyond the computer with people who are loved ones and ones you care about deeply. The teacher also teaches the importance of owning up to when you have or are doing something wrong for if you don’t, you will carry it inside and it will come out at a later date. He teaches these children that blaming others for your mistakes or for doing what you know you should not do is wrong. These videos are powerful. Hope you enjoy.
From the Youtube page these are on:
“In the award-winning documentary Children Full of Life, a fourth-grade class in a primary school in Kanazawa, northwest of Tokyo, learn lessons about compassion from their homeroom teacher, Toshiro Kanamori. He instructs each to write their true inner feelings in a letter, and read it aloud in front of the class. By sharing their lives, the children begin to realize the importance of caring for their classmates.”
Children Full of Life
videos by typoprone
Part 1 Holding sadness and grief inside
Part 2 Bullying and taking responsibility for your actions
Part 3 The Solution should match the Problem
Part 4 The Uncertainty of Life
Part 5 Bonding, Helping Others, Empathy
- Kindness Counts: Teaching Empathy (education.com)
- Battling Bullying: A Whole-School Approach (education.com)
- Are your emotions helping or hurting? (georgesecko.wordpress.com)
- What Helps Children Cope with Bullying? (education.com)
- Forgiveness or how to free yourself from emotional wounds (unikcat.wordpress.com)
- Coping with Grief (mariadorfner.wordpress.com)
- They have no fear of their parents or respect for others (barbierfamilly.com)
- Natural & Unnatural Emotions (journalingtruth.com)
- The Power of Surrender (mjsen.wordpress.com)
- I Want to Feel This Pain (alivingoddity.wordpress.com)
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If you want it real….read my blog. If you want all fou fou and fluffy sweet..it is not here. :)
danLrene is a quirky, funny, eclectic, happy, compassionate, caring, hippy, country girl, redneck, and most of all a God-loving survivor who is also a writer, a poet, a photographer, an artist, the queen of bed dancing, hairbrush singer extraordinaire, once a cook..now the taste tester, once a gardener and now a gardening adviser and the keeper of danLrene older than dirt wisdom.
I am “Robo mom” as my sons call me because of all the gear I must use to survive which my oldest son who is my caretaker describes as “combat gear”…LOL. And my goal is to have people see me and think “I want what she has that makes her so happy”. Happiness is a choice..a daily choice. We are either survivors or we are victims. I am a survivor. Survivors focus on the solutions and ways to have a better life while victims are still talking about all the problems.
I will not lie and tell you life is all roses because it is not. Some days I can not move and lay on this bed in agony and some days I am able to sit in my power chair for a little while. But no matter what kind of day, I look for something good to focus on whether it is my dreams, my daisy, my son who is so good at taking care of me, my other son and dil and my Sweetpea, my family, my friends on line…no matter what..there is always something good to find in life if you look hard enough. Just remember it is how you think that determines what life is like.
“If you think you can or you think you can not, you will be right.”
I will be 65 this May of 2014. Life has been a journey of health issues since before I was 31 . I have a warrior attitude. Being a warrior does not mean you always win. It means you never quit trying. Life is what you make it and I choose to make mine as happy as possible no matter where I am in life.
I am blessed in that my oldest son is my caretaker and a great one at that. He has given up much to take care of me. He is an awesome caretaker and is always looking for ways to make life easier for me. I truly am thankful for his care. He is writing a book talking about “My Mother’s Keeper”..and I think it is going to be wonderful for so many are having to take care of their parents today.
My name is deb…not chronic illness or disability. Can you really see me or do you see my health? I hope you see me and my spirit.
Our baby Daisy. Daisy came to us from a dear friend after our Jack, as so many of you called “Wonder Dog” because of his blue cape, walked on to the next world. And she is such a joy and makes us smile and laugh.
Son and Daisy
My one room world from my hospital bed-it is filled with warmth and love from so many. Son designed my “Command Central” as he calls it. It is a long narrow table by my bed with a little flip down desk where I can sit on the edge of the bed and eat or I can sit up and type if I want to but I am “tummy typer supreme” as son calls it and many wonder how I type laying down like I do. Necessity is the mother of invention. My room looks into the kitchen where I can see son puttering around cooking as he is master of the kitchen now. :)
I still dream of going back to Italy, of us having one of those mini buses with a lift for my chair that son can convert into a motor home for us to make it easier when I have to go to Denver for surgeries and stuff. I still dream of learning how to tap dance…yes even on these crutches or laying on my hospital bed, just so I can say I did. All I need are a pair of size 11 tap shoes and a board at the foot of my bed. I dream of many things.
image from facebookemoticons123.blogspot.com
Ever since I was a little girl, I was told I was a dreamer. I can remember report cards with “day dreams” written on it. I think dreams are what keep us going. Without dreams…we have no hope. I dream of many things and I dream for many of you.
Follow Your Dreams, The Siren Called Out To Me
As I closed my eyes and fell deep into lovely sleep.
The dream siren called me with a promise to keep
I closed my eyes and looked deep in my soul
I could feel the wind blowing…it was so very cold
My dreams I had carried through year after year
They will never come true was my biggest fear
Wandering up one lane and down another
Remembering my dream since I became a mother
Land, open land and a place to be free
A small house to live in with a big evergreen tree
We mounted the buckboard with all we owned inside
And started over the mountain on this crazy dream ride
We felt like pioneers racing to the finish line for land
And the whole time we knew -The Lord had our hand
So do not be afraid to dream your dreams and try
Life is too short…open your wings up and fly
Dream I say and work the dream hard as you can
For it will be the best race that you ever ran.
© danLrene 2011
We all have dreams of what we want out of life. I remember Laverne on Laverne and Shirley saying her dream was to have a purple cashmere sweater. Well, our dream is to own land in the country and have a simple life style unencumbered by so much of what is in the world today. We have accomplished that dream in that we live on the outskirts of small town America in a much smaller and compact house but it has all we need: a cottage that visitors say they love because it is so serene here.
I love to write and have written for years. And hopefully will continue to write for many more years. This blog is about our journey getting here, our life after we reached the promised land and different middle of the night ramblings, posts to inspire others to keep fighting and keep living. Dreams are like cooking…we might get our grandparents old recipes, but we tend to alter them to suit ourselves. But, dream we must…for as long as we have hope in life…we have dreams. And even plain ole everyday people get dreams that come true. :)
I hope you enjoy and will subscribe and share my journey. Come join us at the foothills of the mountains where we have found a life of simplicity and serenity, in spite of all the health trials of one disabled woman and the courage of a son that chose to take care of her.
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