Yes I Can

I believe in fighting and keeping going in life in spite of obstacles. I have been this way all my life and it has been a good thing with all the health issues I deal with. I could do like some people we see do and lay back and whine that I just can not do it and expect others to do it for me but I do not. Call it self-respect, personal pride…whatever…but the truth is I do not like being thought of as someone who uses other people for what I can do for myself and so I do not. I am just too head-strong.

I am still going, still up on the forearm crutches although not for the distance or time I used to be ….but I have not let these illnesses take that from me. Some days it is really hard and it would be so easy to lay back and say I can not do it. But, the truth of the matter is, I get a rush every time I push myself to keep going and I accomplish doing it in spite of what the illnesses are doing to me.

image from inspirational-musings.tumblr.com

My health issues will take me down one day, but they will not without a fight of all fights. I refuse to let it win if I have anything left in me to stop it. I tell my son sometimes when he will say I should not do this or that or that I can not do this or that …”you watch my shirt tail pop son”….meaning I am going to try or go down trying. So, I put on my wonder woman head band and say to my illnesses and diseases that are stealing my life…”you take that cause I am NOT giving up!” The diseases will take me down one day but I can guarantee you that they will get an arse whupping on the way down from me.

image from sweat-junkie.com

Some days the diseases will win but that is ok because when I lay here at night recouping, I am building my fight back up to give it a run for it’s money tomorrow…and the next day …..and the next.
Hear me diseases for my roar may be small at times but it is still a a roar.

I live on faith. Yes, I have faith in God but there is also another kind of faith. It is the faith that I will wake up in the morning ready to fight again. It is the faith that I will endure one more round of high pain and muscle spasms and a hard time breathing..one more time. It is the faith that I will not give up but will keep fighting…not just for me but for the ones I love. It is the faith that when things are too tough and I can not stand it, I will be carried through it. It is the faith..that I will never lose my faith…in God, in those I love, in survival, in truth, in honesty, in justice, in goodness, in peace, in love, in compassion…for those things keep the world going. And it is faith in the knowledge that sometimes, faith is all I need.

image from quotesvalley.com

7 Comments »

Spirit and determination count for so much! Never surrender. Never give up!

Comment by Naomi Baltuck | July 28, 2012 | Reply
- thank you. I am a fighter.
  
  Comment by danLrene ©2011 | July 29, 2012 | Reply
All I can say is WOW! Thanks for all your inspiration!

Comment by mlissabeth | July 28, 2012 | Reply
- oh thank you. hear me roar? LOL
  
  Comment by danLrene ©2011 | July 29, 2012 | Reply
your illnesses and struggles may try to take you to your knees~but of course when they do you fear not. because when they take you to your knees God is there and He lifts you up to fight again. You are ALWAYS in my prayers, dear one.

Comment by Kate Kresse | July 29, 2012 | Reply
- amen amen amen…thank you I count on those prayers kate
  
  Comment by danLrene ©2011 | July 29, 2012 | Reply
You are such an inspiration to me! Whenever I’m feeling like I just can’t stand the pain, that I’m too exhausted or unable to physically do anything, I often think of you and your fierce determination – and it helps me to keep going. Sure, I might have to rest for awhile before trying again – but I believe as you do – I’m fighting these illnesses with everything I’ve got … even if all I can do is try again tomorrow ….. thank you for all that you are! ~ Love and hugs, Julie xoxox

Comment by Julie Catherine | July 29, 2012 | Reply

About Me

NOTE: Subscribe box is down below the mountain picture.

Those that know me know that this red sparkly headband is symbolic. When they see the headband on me, they know I am fighting hard physically. It is my symbolic Samson’s hair. It is getting my mojo on and geared up for robo mom to once more fight a battle. And the headband is on now and will be on for a long time. I live with my son who is my caretaker and I am so blessed.

Me with mojo on.

And when things are toughest, I will resort to my dreams to keep me going.

I am 63 and will soon be 64. Life has been a journey of health issues since I was 32 and got sprayed by a crop duster. I have warrior attitude. Being a warrior does not mean you always win. It means you never quit trying. Life is what you make it and I choose to make mine as happy as possible no matter where I am in life.

I spend a lot of time on this hospital bed due to constant pain but I am just thankful I have the hospital bed to lay on. I am disabled but I don’t let that stop me from living life and enjoying it. Life is what we make it and I choose to make mine happy.

Meet Daisy..that we call Miss Daisy. Thanks to Jill, a very special friend who is also has a Rescue for pets called Three Sisters and a Brother in NC, Daisy was transported to us and what a delight she is. About ten pounds and full of energy and love and kisses.

My baby

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Son and Daisy

My world from my hospital bed-it is filled with warmth and love from so many.

I still dream of going back to Italy, of us having one of those mini buses with a lift for my chair that son can convert into a travel home for us to make it easier when I have to go to Denver for surgeries and stuff. I still dream of learning how to tap dance…yes even on these crutches just so I can say I did. All I need are a pair of size 11 tap shoes.

image from facebookemoticons123.blogspot.com

I draw, I paint, I write, I do photography…my latest love is the clouds for I see faces in the clouds all the time and have a blog at the top of the page entitled “Faces in the Clouds” I sit on a stool and help son cook…yes, often with him leaning over me to help me pour or stir but I get to do it. My philosophy is if you can’t do it one way…then create a new way. Son says I am the only person he knows that used their all terrain power chair like a back hoe…using a grain shovel and rake to move dirt or mulch in the garden. I would hold the handle between my legs and rake up the stuff on the two foot wide shovel and then go backwards dragging the shovel to where I wanted to dump it.

Ever since I was a little girl, I was told I was a dreamer. I can remember report cards with “day dreams” written on it. I think dreams are what keep us going. Without dreams…we have no hope.

Follow Your Dreams, The Siren Called Out To Me

As I closed my eyes and fell deep into lovely sleep.
The dream siren called me with a promise to keep

I closed my eyes and looked deep in my soul
I could feel the wind blowing…it was so very cold

My dreams I had carried through year after year
They will never come true was my biggest fear

Wandering up one lane and down another
Remembering my dream since I became a mother

Land, open land and a place to be free
A small house to live in with a big evergreen tree

We mounted the buckboard with all we owned inside
And started over the mountain on this crazy dream ride

We felt like pioneers racing to the finish line for land
And the whole time we knew -The Lord had our hand

So don’t be afraid to dream your dreams and try
Life is too short…open your wings up and fly

Dream I say and work the dream hard as you can
For it will be the best race that you ever ran.

We all have dreams of what we want out of life. I remember Laverne on Laverne and Laverne saying her dream was to have a purple cashmere sweater. Well, our dream is to own land in the country and have a simple life style unencumbered by so much of what is in the world today.

I love to write and have written for years. And hopefully will continue to write for many more years. My real name is Deb.

This blog is about our journey to get there, our life after we reached the promised land and different middle of the night ramblings. Dreams are like cooking…we might get our grandparents old recipes, but we tend to alter them to suit ourselves. But, dream we must…for as long as we have hope in life…we have dreams. And even plain ole everyday people get dreams that come true.

I hope you enjoy and will subscribe and share my journey. Come join us at the foothills of the mountains where we have found a life of simplicity and serenity, in spite of all the health trials of one disabled woman and the courage of a son that chose to take care of her.