The Beauty Around Me

This morning I opened the patio door and saw two hummingbirds dart off from the feeders. As I watched them, I noticed they went and sat on the fence and just watched me. I think the nectar in the feeders was too much for them to just run away and they were waiting to see if I went back inside. I cracked the door and peeked out and they zoomed back to the feeders. Such pretty little things. One is a gold almost orange color, one is grayish but has hints of red and one is dark looking almost black.

So, we decided to sit outside and drink our coffee while it was still cool. It has been a while since I have done that and I enjoyed the few minutes sitting there and feeling the breeze and listening to the chimes…and most of all, watching the humming birds.

and a little video of one of my hummers. What a peaceful few minutes I had sitting on that patio.

Another surprise was that son was finally able to put up the copper plates that we have had since last summer to go behind the stove. He hopes one day to do the whole section of that wall in them but for right now, we had enough to go behind the stove. I just love the look it gives.

And I had to smile as we were sitting on our patio and son glanced over to the small garden section up at this end of the house and he jumped up and started leaning over the garden. I said..”what are you doing”  and he turned around with a smile that I swear covered his whole face and said “our first beans are in…we got green beans.”  as he turned around and kept picking. We are cooking some for supper tonight.  (edit:  and the green beans were GREAT….oh goodness I could eat a meal of just them.)

Today was one of those days I just could not take one more hurt…one more pain and so I enveloped myself with the beauty around me. I am still fighting for my renovations for my bathroom and ramp. The state approved it two months ago but getting the local Council of Government in Trinidad to send the contractor has become a fight that is wearing me out. I want to ask them would they want their mother, sister, wife, child to have to do what I am…sitting on a stool at the sink to take a bath because my shower is not safe for me….staying home all the time because I have no ramp. And my question is..what will they do now that the quote is months old and the items are higher priced?  Will they shortcut and not give us what we should have. One tells me they will be here today. Have not seen anyone. Another tells me it is wrong and they will get another contractor and the man in charge says he does not know when it will happen. Hearing that was just the icing on the cake to dealing with some financial issues and medical needs. And so I knew I had to do something to keep it from making me sick..and so I just soaked up everything beautiful around me.

Change Your Focus

NOTE:  I got the video below turned on. Sorry it was still on private when I first posted.

I have learned through the years that the best way to get out of the pit when things are going rough and your back is against the wall is to start trying to do something to help someone else.That takes your mind off of what is worrying you and just lifts you right up. In other words, when things look bad, change your focus.

image from https://www.facebook.com/thecalmandthestorm

That is what I did yesterday evening and today. I spent time making a video for a young girl that is celebrating having all these organ transplants a few years ago and she is still here. She never walked after the transplants but she is a delightful and sweet child. I was asked to make her a special video and send it to her telling her what a warrior she is and how proud of her that I was. And her reply was so precious. She is 100 percent warrior. I also spent part of today looking up sites to help someone who is having problems. And the 211 call that I posted about below this post…helped and all sorts of doors are opening for her.

And so, because I was busy focusing on the needs of someone else, I was not focusing on my need. I truly believe that God will provide. He always has.

And today I got to watch my Sweetpea ride in the rodeo competition again this afternoon. She did so good. I was so proud of her. Below is the video I made of the event using my camera to copy the live view online. Part of it blurred all of a sudden and then it cleared out. So bear in mind that the first part of this is blurry.  And yes, that is me saying “GO Girl”  and “look at her go”.  I had tears running down my face and was so excited that I got to be part of this event and see her.

Dialing 211

Every day someone needs human services and/or community resources. Where do you go to get it?   Well, you can search all over the internet, you can call social services, you can ask friends but there is a number you can call to get all your answers and that is dialing 211 on your phone. It will provide you with volunteer opportunites and community services.

I learned about 211 when I lived back east. It is a network of resources for the disabled, elderly, those having problems and they connect you to the right resource and make suggestions on what you need. I had never heard of it and thought it was bogus to begin with. But, I did dial it and at the time, I was alone, my roommate of ten years who was also disabled..had died and I was faced with all the bills at once. Very daunting situation. So, I dialed 211 and I got answers.

Here is more information on 211:

http://www.211.org/

http://www.fcc.gov/guides/dial-211-essential-community-services

2-1-1 is special abbreviated telephone number reserved in Canada and the United States as an easy-to-remember three-digit telephone number meant to provide quick information and referrals to health and human service organizations for both services from charities and from governmental agencies.  Wikipedia

This link you put in your zip code and it gives you the one locally for you. Each state has their own 211 so that the information they give you is for your area.

“2-1-1 is an easy to remember telephone number that connects people with important community services and volunteer opportunities. 2-1-1 is available in 78% of the United States. Both the United Way of America (UWA) and the Alliance for Information and Referral Systems(AIRS) are strongly supporting the federal legistlation that will ensure adequate funding so that every American has access to 2-1-1 in the United States.”  Community Connections

According to the Federal Communications Commission, these are the types of things you can find out by dialing 211

Types of Referrals Offered by 211

• Basic Human Needs Resources – including food and clothing banks, shelters, rent assistance, and utility assistance.
• Physical and Mental Health Resources – including health insurance programs, Medicaid and Medicare, maternal health resources, health insurance programs for children, medical information lines, crisis intervention services, support groups, counseling, and drug and alcohol intervention and rehabilitation.
• Work Support – including financial assistance, job training, transportation assistance and education programs.
• Support for Older Americans and Persons with Disabilities – including adult day care, community meals, respite care, home health care, transportation and homemaker services.
• Children, Youth and Family Support – including child care, after school programs, educational programs for low-income families, family resource centers, summer camps and recreation programs, mentoring, tutoring and protective services.
• Emergency Suicide Prevention – referral to suicide prevention help organizations. Callers can also dial the following National Suicide Prevention Hotline numbers operated by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration of the Department of Health and Human Services:
  •  1-800-SUICIDE  ( 1-800-784-2433 )
  •  1-888-SUICIDE  ( 1-888-784-2433 )
  •  1-877-SUICIDA  ( 1-877-784-2432 ) (Spanish).

 

Asking

image from jamestownumc.org

This evening has been a rough evening and  have a need. It is weighing heavy on us too. So, am asking those of you that pray if you would pray for this need. I truly believe our Creator knows our needs and He provides them…not our wants but our needs…and this is a need.

God is good…all the time. And I have to keep my faith in that and know that it will work out.

image from loddymicucci.com

I can remember time after time where we did not know how we would make it, and it was always provided. Son still marvels at us needing the gas bill paid after he got laid off and out of the blue, a check from the electric co-op from back east sent a refund check from I believe it was 1988 for the exact amount. So, yes indeedy…our Creator does take care of us.

Thank you all in advance for the prayers.  

What An Exciting Wake Up I Had

My son back est had told me to have my computer set to watch my Sweetpea ride her horse in the National Barrel Racing Competition. I am so excited for her and for my son and his wife.  Her horse is a beautiful “paint” faced horse that she has ridden all her life on. And here is my Sweetpea riding her horse around in the arena.

Is this not a beautiful Paint horse.

I awake this morning before 7  with the live cast ready to go and when I clicked on it, there it was right in front of me. Technology is amazing is it not. As I waited for her name to be called, I was texting my son saying “what number is she??”  And then suddenly I was squealing with delight as I heard her name and she and her horse charged through the entrance out into the arena. She had on her cowboy had and what looked to me like a turquoise shirt and she rode that horse like a pro. My sweet grandbaby that has just grown up on me so fast.  I was texting as fast as I could go saying “I see her!  I see her!!”  as son texted back “so do we” .  Oh what a glorious moment for us all.

The arena is huge as you can see below. This was from earlier. I was so excited that I forgot to make screen shots of her riding. All I could do was clap my hands as tears of joy ran down my face.  Sometimes, because of health reasons, etc., we can not be with our loved ones but my son made sure I was included in this special day for Sweetpea. And you can bet that I will be sitting here ready to take screenshots when she gets to ride again. It is a week long adventure for her.

http://barrelhorsenews.com/current-live-broadcast/3752

Webcast Silverlight Player

barrelhorsenews.com

Barrel racing super site for barrel horse news, barrel horses for sale and results.

She has been training for this day for a long time and I am so proud of her. She has grown into such a fine young lady and I am proud of my son and his wife for being the kind of parents that they are. They love her, are constantly doing things with her and also are trying to raise her up to be honest, moral and ethical. What more could one ask for.

Just call me one proud grandma.

Not All Things Are Just For Children

There is so much wonderful advice for children out there but I have come to realize that it is not all just for children.  We adults could benefit from it too.  Below is one of my favorite poems and perhaps it explains how I taught school too for I had seen the good from this poem and also seen the bad that came from what our behavior can do to children and those around us. We are role models albeit reluctant ones at times.

Every one of these things above…if we blend them into our lives can make life so much happier and peaceful.  People ask me how I deal with all my health issues and how I keep such a positive attitude. Part is because I do not want to miss one moment of my time I have left on this earth and so I look for the positive and the good. The other part is in that box above. I believe in praising, accepting, tolerating, encouraging, being fair, being kind, and most of all treating others like I want to be treated. I also believe in honesty, ethics and integrity. I believe that most of the time we will find what we look for.

image from marcellapurnama.wordpress.com

My friend Sassy often says that when things seem so ugly and dark maybe we need to change our focus.  Some people focus only on the negative and the ugly side of life. When they look at people, they do not see the good things about them, they only see the negative. I do not listen to the news much or read the news online. Why?  Because there are some people who spend their lives attacking others on these things and making ugly comments instead of realizing that real people were hurt or killed. There is a family that has a son now that is a killer. How is that family dealing with that? How are they feeling?  I have not seen any news media or the ones that comment on the articles ask that question.

I believe that if we treat people fairly, honestly then we can get the same in return. Does that mean we never get used or mistreated? No, but it means that someone has to be the one to do the right thing and I want to be that one. It is like an argument where two loved ones are angry and will not talk. Neither one will admit to being wrong. Someone has to make the first step to heal that breach. There have been times I have apologized…not always because I was wrong (which I always apologize when I think I have wronged someone) but because I was sorry that the argument escalated to that point. I knew the other person was not going to do it and was too embarrassed to do it and someone had to. Why not me?

image from rtws.blogspot.com

People do not like to apologize because of pride. I hear comments all the time like “it will be a cold day in hell before I say I am sorry”  and friendships are ruined over one thing all because one person would not step up and do the right thing. What are we willing to lose because of pride?

So, back to the poem above. How can we expect children to do the things in that poem if we do not do them ourselves?  How can we expect them to treat others fairly if we are not fair in our treatment of others or of them? How can we expect children to have acceptance and tolerance if we are judgmental or prejudiced?  How can we expect children to not be cruel and make insulting comments if we do it ourselves. All these things are not just for the children but for us as adults.

We see what we look for. If you see a person in old ragged clothes, do you automatically assume they are just someone who is lazy and will not work?  I used to work at the soup kitchen and I met so many people who were unbelievable. Some were very intelligent people, some had experiences that I envy in life..jobs, travels, etc, and a few..very few..were people who had no ambition. What did I see when I looked at all of them?  I saw good people in hard times. Why?  Because that is my choice to see the good in people not the negative.

Those people came to know the “crutch lady”  as they called me from my forearm crutches and would see me around town and come running up to me smiling and hugging me as if I were an old friend. When we give love…it comes back to us. What do you see when you look out?  Do you see only the bad?  Or do you see the good?

Let me tell you what I see when I look out into the world around me. Son and I sold it all and moved into a tiny little house that was in bad shape and we have worked to fix it up. No, it is not some expensive house but when I look around my house I see the most beautiful home in the world. I love my home. It is filled with love and life and things that give me wonderful memories. I look around my room and sigh with pure contentment because I love my room. To me, it is beautiful. I see my sons and my family/family of choice that fill my heart with love. I see the flowers and vegetables growing outside and the beautiful sun shining. I choose to see the good and I choose to see the positive and I choose to be happy. It is my choice. I can see nothing but sadness and sickness around me or I can see life and laughter and joy. My choice is life, laughter and joy. What about yours?

image from tradingphrases.com

Eagles, Fox and Cats All on the Porch

video by pla1554alaska

video by pla1554alaska

Sometimes Logical Does Not Apply

Life is full of situations and knowing how to approach them takes great creativity at times. This is especially true with children but even with adults I think sometimes we try so hard to give a logical answer when logical just does not seem to apply.

image from bitsofwisdom.org

I remember being young and being scared of the dark. I just knew someone was under my bed or outside my window. My mother, who was a black and white person…meaning there was no shades of gray, got so mad one night because I was upset. I was sure I had heard someone walking in the leaves outside my window. Her answer was to turn the lights on and force me to look outside and then to berate me and tell me “see..nothing is out there”. Did that make me feel better? Not hardly.

image from forever-healthy.org

Now, the difference in my mother and myself is this. My adopted daughter stayed with me for a while when her first-born was just a toddler. For some reason, the little boy was terrified of this gorilla looking face on one of the boy’s tee shirts. He was also afraid of this Halloween mask that looked like that too.

I was sitting in the living room when I heard him scream this horrible scream. After I about killed myself getting to the kitchen, I found my daughter holding her son and my two teenage boys in the kitchen. I asked what happened and was told that my daughter was trying to prove what a great guard dog her dog was and had my son put on the mask and beat on the door. Well, her son saw it and it terrified him and he was sitting there crying in her lap. So, my daughter was putting the mask on and off saying to him “see..it is not real. It is just mommy” while her son is looking on with crocodile tears. He had cried until he was doing what I call the “he he he he” as he cried.

My daughter kept trying to reason with him and show him that this was not a real animal to no avail. She finally looks at me and says “Please do something. I can’t make him stop crying”. So, I reached over and grabbed the mask, threw it on the floor and stomped on it about ten times and threw it in the trash can and said “don’t worry baby. He is dead now”. He stopped crying and got down from her lap, went and looked in the trash can…looked at me and smiled and went off and started playing with toys. Sometimes reasoning and logical just do not apply.

When someone is hurt, scared or upset, sometimes trying to be logical and reasoning with them is a waste of time for the emotions are so strong that they really do not hear what you are saying. I remember my friend Audrey that I lost to cancer about seven years ago. She and I talked daily. She and her husband and children lived in CA and I lived back east. She called me one day and I was crying and really devastated by something ugly that someone had said to me.

Now, I had already heard from those near me with all the logical responses. Pay them no mind. They are just being ugly. It is not you. Blah Blah Blah. But the tears still flowed. Now Audrey was a hoot and she seemed to know just what to say. As I wept telling her what happened, instead of trying to be logical with me and tell me that I should just ignore it, she said “well that was ugly. You want me to come and whup their ass for you?” And I started laughing through my tears. For the idea of her coming and defending me and “whupping their ass” was such a stark contrast to the logical statements everyone else wanted to say. Sometimes logical just does not apply.

Although there are many examples, this is the last one as this is a long post. I taught school in the deep south in a little country town of five hundred. My classroom lock was a skeleton key. I taught third grade and loved it. One day, the bus driver came and got me in my classroom. He said one of my students would not get off the bus because his mother would not help him find his shoes. She was mad because he was playing and it was running late and so she made him come to school barefooted to punish him and he was too embarrassed to come into the classroom.

Sometimes logical does not apply. I could have made that little boy get off the bus and come inside but I did not. I took my shoes off before I got to the bus and instead I told him to hurry as today was barefoot day in our classroom and we were all going barefooted and we needed to get back inside so class could start. That little boy looked up at me, looked down at my feet and wiped his tears and took my hand and off the bus we came. We went inside and I told all the kids that we were having barefoot day and to take their shoes and socks off and put them under their desk. And we had a wonderful day and a little boy came back years later to tell me that he never forgot that. Sometimes logical just does not seem to apply.

Sometimes we have to do what we would want others to do for us, not what is logical.

The Beauty of Dreams

Everyone is amazed at how green and pretty our garden is. We do not use a sprinkler for we found that wastes a lot of water so son either stands and waters or he uses a soaker system so that the water is actually getting on the plants.

Remember last time the corn was up to his knees. Well take a look at this. This is the first corn we planted. We have some shorter as we had to replant some areas that did not sprout.

And we saw our first pumpkin today.    We have lots of zucchini and one of the tomato plants is a bush type tomato and oh my gosh it is loaded with baby tomatoes. We have blooms on our pie pumpkins too and on the watermelons, the yellow squash, the beans are loaded with blooms and the snap peas too. Son also decided Mama does know a few gardening tricks. We planted marigolds in the garden because they are good at deterring the bugs.

“And our gourds are coming along. I told son we needed one of those rolls of black plastic border that you push in the ground to help hold the dirt up.   They are planted on the back forty part of the back yard.

Son said the only thing that would make this better was if we lived beside his brother and they could do the gardens together and enjoy each others company.  Hmm  maybe another dream huh.

Son will tell you that this is the hardest work he has ever done and he works every day hours at a time to make this garden what it is. Back east, it was much easier for most anything grows and the dirt is not hard as a brick bat and so dry. I am so proud of both my sons. They are both hard workers and no one will ever be able to accuse them of living off of others. Regardless of his back issues, son is out there taking care of that garden and doing the things around here that need doing. He may have to rest in between but he does not give up. And my other son is the same way. He works hard to support his wife and sweetpea.

Son here says they learned it from me. I think that is about the nicest compliment they could have given me….to say that I taught them to be hard workers and to take care of themselves. And now for the shocker. I sat on a stool out there in the yard with my blue hat on and sunglasses and I pulled the weeks from the gourds and put the new miracle grow soil on them. Son kept asking me was I ok. I am whipped now but with a feeling of such satisfaction that I accomplished that. Now, son could have done it in fifteen minutes and it took me an hour and a half..but you know what…I did it!!  I sat out there with my oxygen backpack on and my sunblock and I slowly pulled the weeds and took a plastic measuring cup and poured cups and cups around those plants. Will I pay for it?  Oh yes and it will take me days again to get over it but I felt like I used to when I did all this gardening stuff myself..just for a few minutes. Nothing can beat that feeling.

And with a smile with tears in my eyes, I can tell you that I will never…NEVER stop dreaming. I may have a journey different than many but it is my journey and if I can do what a did today..and feel that feeling of accomplishment..just for a little while…then I have filled one dream.

Behind Closed Doors

I have mentioned in the past all the hate and anger in our country and in general about the emotional climate of the world but the horrible killings in Aurora, CO two days ago makes me wonder about the emotional stability of  some people around the country. What a tragedy and with no answers about why. Something caused that young man to step off the brink of sanity and go into a movie theater and shoot all those people. Will we ever have answers.

I remember reading not long ago an article warning people to never ever respond to people who do things like cut you off in traffic, give you an ugly hand signal, etc because you do not know what will make them suddenly go over the brink with road rage. A woman who was known as a very nice, christian woman was driving and someone cut her off. She chased after the person and when they pulled off and stopped, she got out of her vehicle and walked up to the other person’s car and shot them. No apparent reason and no appearance of frothing rage. What set her off?

It make one a little nervous because we do not know what sets people off anymore. We can venture a guess…loss of jobs, loss of home, death in family, one stress too many but we may never know the real catalyst. Many people are like walking time bombs that are set to go off only we do not know the detonation time. And this man who killed all those people has been quiet and calm since being arrested. I wonder what is going on inside his head. what set him off?

The man who killed all those people in the theater is a brilliant science major who appears to have just been a quiet man who did not do Facebook, twitter, etc. And yet he dressed up one day and walked into a theater and killed and injured many innocent people. To me the most puzzling thing is that his own mother told the police that she was sure they had the right person. If she knew that, I have to wonder did others?

I hope that many of you will go read my friend Sherry Showalter’s blog here:

 
http://drses.wordpress.com/

for she has many good posts on this very topic. We are in a time of much emotional sickness in the world. People are not taught how to deal with emotions and so the emotions build and build with no outlet. Many people are all over the internet frothing at the mouth and being hateful and threatening to others. How long before their words become actions?  People find a release on the internet hiding behind monitors to spew their hate and maliciousness and yet few take the time to seek the help they really need in dealing with their own emotions.

I have sat here this morning reading all the news articles about the shooting in Aurora, CO and it gives me a cold feeling inside for here a person just killed all these people and yet shows no remorse or even emotion about it.  Behind how many closed doors in this country/world are others who are just “nice, quiet people” sit someone just like him? If “sweet little old ladies” can spew the venom I have seen on the internet and on animal pages all because they sit behind a monitor and feel more powerful because no one can get to them ….if they can attack and say the hateful things they say and then just walk away and not have to deal in real-time with the consequences, what might others do? We usually do not expect this of sweet little old ladies nor do we realize the just how often this happens. I can tell you from real experience that this happens daily.

My mind is rambling and I am really wondering things here… how much are we accountable if we do see people really out of balance, if we do know people who seem to be really mentally unstable and yet we tell no one and they go on to kill or hurt people?  Now I am just rambling with all of this but I think about the person that thought it odd when the man came in and wanted to learn how to fly a commercial plane but he did not report it. Had he reported it, would things have been different on that day?  We make people accountable if they know child abuse is going on and do not report it. People see others stealing or bullying and yet do nothing.  Some seniors are living alone and unable to care for themselves and it is clear by their homes and their appearance and yet nothing is said. Why? Are we a world that just prefers to keep their eyes closed?  Many will say I do not want to get involved but if we stand up for nothing what does that say about us?   And my heart asks on the Aurora killings….could this have been prevented?  I just do not know…I just really do not know.