Ragged and Worn Out But Still Flickering

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image from cnbc.com

A person send me a message yesterday and it was a beautiful message signed  Uncle Raggy. It brought tears to my eyes because here was a stranger letting me know that long after my post, he knew that the things wrong with me continued…that it was not just at the moment that I was writing that I endured. Well, to make a long story short, his name inspired this post. And his words filled my heart.

He did not tell me to keep fighting or that I was tough. He did not even tell me that he understood because he said he could not understand as he was not going through it. He told me that he realized that long past my telling what I was going through I was still going through the pain and exhaustion. And that was allowing himself to feel some of my pain that he gave me  and that let me know he really was paying attention and cared. He did not run from it, or use words to keep from feeling my pain. He allowed what I was feeling to touch him and touch him enough to tell me he cared and he felt what was going on.

Ever felt like those shirts above?   Ever felt all torn and ragged and worn out from whatever is going on in your life? Those shirts look pretty ragged and used up I think. That is how I felt when I went to bed so tired that I could not go to sleep at first. I felt like I had been beaten, torn and drained of any strength or energy. The past four days have really taken a lot out of me and more to come. It was one of those pull the covers over my head times. And then that little spark called Hope nudged me and said “it is ok. It will be better tomorrow”.  And it is my choice to grab that hope and fly with it. And I rolled over and turned on m computer and there was Raggy’s message.

image from workthedream.wordpress.com

Now, those shirts are looking pretty bad, are they not?  But, you know what….if you look close you can see that they are still shirts. No matter how worn out we get. No matter how beat down we get and how weak we get…we are still us and if no one else can recognize us, God always will. And when we can not go anymore, He carries us.

Sometimes we can feel broken into pieces and wonder can we be put back together. Well, the answer is yes we can.  Sometimes others pick the pieces up and carefully lay them back together with loving words and comfort and support, sometimes God takes the pieces and puts them back into place and sometimes we crawl from the pit of our exhaustion and pain and we begin putting them back together ourselves. And sometimes, someone says or does something that gives us that nudge to pick ourselves up and start putting the pieces back together. That is me now.

The important thing to remember is that no matter how many pieces we feel broken into, when all back together….when all rested and restored…when others that care reach out and let us know that they care like Raggy did telling me:

Hey girl! Uncle Raggy here. As I share your story with those I know (I am a minister so I get to share your story often) I emphasis that as we read your words we relate to them in the moment. The important truth I try to underline is that you’re going through this even Now as we speak. It does not stop when the writing stops – But you are in this every minute of every hour every day! I can’t imagine! I can’t say “I understand” because I don’t. I keep you in my thoughts & prayers everyday. Raggy

or when others write comments or send messages telling me how much they care, the pieces start flowing back into place and my spirit renews and once again I feel ready to battle again. It is those pieces that we get torn into, broken into…when put back into place that make us who we are and allow us to keep our light going out into the world.

Sometimes the light may dim and the picture may not shine as brightly, but the light is still there none the less and it does not go out. We carry that light inside us and it is what keeps us going. That light is hope. While some people may inspire us to keep trying, we have to keep that spark of hope alive within ourselves. No one can do it for us and the real test of hope is whether or not we begin putting the pieces back together in tough times so that the light within can shine through and show our inner strength and the strength that God gives us. It is like climbing a mountain. We may slide down the sides sometimes, but as long as we keep moving up…then we are making progress. That is how we nurture the hope within us all…we keep moving.

image from motivationalmoments-vwo.blogspot.com

People are like stained – glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross