Victim or Survivor?

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Life is constant choices…sometimes every minute, sometimes every hour and definitely every day. And the choice to be a survivor instead of a victim. I have heard people I know say “but I am a victim” and the truth is yes, we are a victim…FIRST. But becoming a survivor next is a choice. And going on to be come a thriver is another choice.

People start out a victim when something happens that is out of their control…a victim of a violent crime, of misuse, or an accident…whatever. These things we have no choice or control over. What we do have control over is whether or not to stay a victim. People remain a victim because they like it. Being a victim means you never take responsibility for anything.

“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”
Richard Bach

It means you do not have to make decisions because, after all, you are a victim. It means that everyone else is the bad guy and you are the good guy..the one right and that brings those “feel good” feelings. And some people prefer the victim mentality to having to claim responsibility for their lives and the choices they make. Some people like to wallow in self-pity. It is easier that way. Living in self-pity and a life where someone else always takes the blame for everything that goes on in our life can be as addictive as a drug.

Self pity and staying a victim brings attention…that is until people realize you are not really the victim they were led to believe you are and then the one who loves being a victim moves on to another group of people to get the attention and rewards they want.

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Being a survivor means you accept responsibility for your choices…be they right or wrong. It means that we are willing to work towards being that survivor and accepting that our choices are within our control. It means we CHOOSE to be the survivor instead of someone who loves to continue in the role of the poor victim. Is it easy? No, but it is attainable. It means what we accept our choices and we accept that we may make bad choices. And when we do make a bad choice, we step back, review it and start over again in a more positive direction. We have that choice. It is within our power. Being a victim from some tragic event is ok. Remaining a victim is not. And once you become a survivor, then you go on to thrive and live your life as an independent and strong person.

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And I am a survivor…my choice.

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About Me

NOTE: Subscribe box is down below the mountain picture.

Those that know me know that this red sparkly headband is symbolic. When they see the headband on me, they know I am fighting hard physically. It is my symbolic Samson’s hair. It is getting my mojo on and geared up for robo mom to once more fight a battle. And the headband is on now and will be on for a long time. I live with my son who is my caretaker and I am so blessed.

Me with mojo on.

And when things are toughest, I will resort to my dreams to keep me going.

I am 63 and will soon be 64. Life has been a journey of health issues since I was 32 and got sprayed by a crop duster. I have warrior attitude. Being a warrior does not mean you always win. It means you never quit trying. Life is what you make it and I choose to make mine as happy as possible no matter where I am in life.

I spend a lot of time on this hospital bed due to constant pain but I am just thankful I have the hospital bed to lay on. I am disabled but I don’t let that stop me from living life and enjoying it. Life is what we make it and I choose to make mine happy.

Meet Daisy..that we call Miss Daisy. Thanks to Jill, a very special friend who is also has a Rescue for pets called Three Sisters and a Brother in NC, Daisy was transported to us and what a delight she is. About ten pounds and full of energy and love and kisses.

My baby

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Son and Daisy

My world from my hospital bed-it is filled with warmth and love from so many.

I still dream of going back to Italy, of us having one of those mini buses with a lift for my chair that son can convert into a travel home for us to make it easier when I have to go to Denver for surgeries and stuff. I still dream of learning how to tap dance…yes even on these crutches just so I can say I did. All I need are a pair of size 11 tap shoes.

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I draw, I paint, I write, I do photography…my latest love is the clouds for I see faces in the clouds all the time and have a blog at the top of the page entitled “Faces in the Clouds” I sit on a stool and help son cook…yes, often with him leaning over me to help me pour or stir but I get to do it. My philosophy is if you can’t do it one way…then create a new way. Son says I am the only person he knows that used their all terrain power chair like a back hoe…using a grain shovel and rake to move dirt or mulch in the garden. I would hold the handle between my legs and rake up the stuff on the two foot wide shovel and then go backwards dragging the shovel to where I wanted to dump it.

Ever since I was a little girl, I was told I was a dreamer. I can remember report cards with “day dreams” written on it. I think dreams are what keep us going. Without dreams…we have no hope.

Follow Your Dreams, The Siren Called Out To Me

As I closed my eyes and fell deep into lovely sleep.
The dream siren called me with a promise to keep

I closed my eyes and looked deep in my soul
I could feel the wind blowing…it was so very cold

My dreams I had carried through year after year
They will never come true was my biggest fear

Wandering up one lane and down another
Remembering my dream since I became a mother

Land, open land and a place to be free
A small house to live in with a big evergreen tree

We mounted the buckboard with all we owned inside
And started over the mountain on this crazy dream ride

We felt like pioneers racing to the finish line for land
And the whole time we knew -The Lord had our hand

So don’t be afraid to dream your dreams and try
Life is too short…open your wings up and fly

Dream I say and work the dream hard as you can
For it will be the best race that you ever ran.

We all have dreams of what we want out of life. I remember Laverne on Laverne and Laverne saying her dream was to have a purple cashmere sweater. Well, our dream is to own land in the country and have a simple life style unencumbered by so much of what is in the world today.

I love to write and have written for years. And hopefully will continue to write for many more years. My real name is Deb.

This blog is about our journey to get there, our life after we reached the promised land and different middle of the night ramblings. Dreams are like cooking…we might get our grandparents old recipes, but we tend to alter them to suit ourselves. But, dream we must…for as long as we have hope in life…we have dreams. And even plain ole everyday people get dreams that come true.

I hope you enjoy and will subscribe and share my journey. Come join us at the foothills of the mountains where we have found a life of simplicity and serenity, in spite of all the health trials of one disabled woman and the courage of a son that chose to take care of her.