Falling Down The Stairs Of Hell

I hear people use the expression “I feel like I am walking down into hell” and I have used it too to describe how I am feeling or what I am going through. It is a horrible feeling. I think I walked the steps down last night and am laying on the landing at the bottom. LOL, I really feel like I fell down those stairs or someone threw me, but that is ok. I am laying here resting on the landing…MOJO hat on and all.

image from newgrounds.com

The good news is that what goes down also can go up. We can walk back up those steps. Ok, sometimes we may have to crawl up those steps and yes sometimes someone may have to hold a hand out and pull us up those stairs or get behind us and push us up the stairs, but it is still UP. We do not have to stay down there. It is our choice.

image from doublehockeysticks.com

Sometimes, like me today, we lay there and rest a bit before we start crawling back up those stairs. And we may only get up a couple of stairs in a day but it is heading up. Some times, once we rest, we literally can jog up those stairs. It all depends on what sent us down them to begin with.

You may feel like you are alone going up those stairs but people everywhere are going up the same stairs. Some of us only get up a stair or two at a time and have to stop and rest, Some of us go straight up and some of us slowly make it to the top. And sadly, some stay at the bottom because they do not want to go back up the stairs. And sometimes we stumble and fall back down the stairs. The main thing is keep moving……UP.

image from au.lifestyle.yahoo.com

And so, today I am resting a bit and then I will begin my journey back up those stairs. Yes, I know in two weeks, I will be knocked flat again just about the time I get to the top, but you know what….as long as I make it up the stairs, it is all alright. It reminds me of those stairs in Italy where people go up them on their knees praying all the way up. That is me, I am asking the Creator…my Lord and Savior…to help me up those stairs.

image from live.regnumchristi.org

And so this is me this morning. I might be teary, and only holding my MOJO hat but I did make it to sitting up so I made it up one step…..and holding on…..:) And when that is all you can do, at least make one step. And the next time another step until you reach the top. The main thing is to move up them no matter how you do it.

9 Comments »

You continue to be an inspiration to so many people!

Comment by jmgoyder | October 10, 2012 | Reply
May I have the honor of doing one step for you?

Comment by Ann | October 10, 2012 | Reply
- oh I love that Ann. *takes your hand* ok one more for today. HUGS
  
  Comment by danLrene ©2011 | October 10, 2012 | Reply
You are so strong but evidently the stairway to heaven is a going to take a little more strength training (thank you Lord we want to keep her a dear long time) so climb those stairs my friend, Jesus is right beside you holding your hand saying ” I am here for you my child, I will carry you step by step as long as I need to”.

Comment by lenwilliamscarver | October 10, 2012 | Reply
- love this Len thank you
  
  Comment by danLrene ©2011 | October 10, 2012 | Reply
Good you still have humor I know you are hurting. It took me longer than two weeks to feel better but in time I did with the back it worked the neck it didn’t work. So am praying you are going to have great results. Sending prayers.

Comment by Dar | October 10, 2012 | Reply
Keep climbing those stairs!

Comment by Libby | October 11, 2012 | Reply
Your strength shines through. Oh how most women hate to hear, your’re strong, you will get through it, with this wonderful group of supporters here on wordpress I truly believe we can fight out way through hell’s fire and come out smiling.

God’s blessings to you and wishing you strength..

Comment by Ray's Mom | October 11, 2012 | Reply
What is amazing about you and one of the things we love about you, despite never having met you, is that you are DETERMINED to stay positive and to show us how to be that way. It is sometimes easier to contemplate giving up for a time and you never let us forget to keep on keeping on! Thank you so much! And know we keep you in our prayers.

Comment by estherlou | October 14, 2012 | Reply

About Me

NOTE: Subscribe box is down below the mountain picture.

Those that know me know that this red sparkly headband is symbolic. When they see the headband on me, they know I am fighting hard physically. It is my symbolic Samson’s hair. It is getting my mojo on and geared up for robo mom to once more fight a battle. And the headband is on now and will be on for a long time. I live with my son who is my caretaker and I am so blessed.

Me with mojo on.

And when things are toughest, I will resort to my dreams to keep me going.

I am 63 and will soon be 64. Life has been a journey of health issues since I was 32 and got sprayed by a crop duster. I have warrior attitude. Being a warrior does not mean you always win. It means you never quit trying. Life is what you make it and I choose to make mine as happy as possible no matter where I am in life.

I spend a lot of time on this hospital bed due to constant pain but I am just thankful I have the hospital bed to lay on. I am disabled but I don’t let that stop me from living life and enjoying it. Life is what we make it and I choose to make mine happy.

Meet Daisy..that we call Miss Daisy. Thanks to Jill, a very special friend who is also has a Rescue for pets called Three Sisters and a Brother in NC, Daisy was transported to us and what a delight she is. About ten pounds and full of energy and love and kisses.

My baby

Son and Daisy

My world from my hospital bed-it is filled with warmth and love from so many.

I still dream of going back to Italy, of us having one of those mini buses with a lift for my chair that son can convert into a travel home for us to make it easier when I have to go to Denver for surgeries and stuff. I still dream of learning how to tap dance…yes even on these crutches just so I can say I did. All I need are a pair of size 11 tap shoes.

image from facebookemoticons123.blogspot.com

I draw, I paint, I write, I do photography…my latest love is the clouds for I see faces in the clouds all the time and have a blog at the top of the page entitled “Faces in the Clouds” I sit on a stool and help son cook…yes, often with him leaning over me to help me pour or stir but I get to do it. My philosophy is if you can’t do it one way…then create a new way. Son says I am the only person he knows that used their all terrain power chair like a back hoe…using a grain shovel and rake to move dirt or mulch in the garden. I would hold the handle between my legs and rake up the stuff on the two foot wide shovel and then go backwards dragging the shovel to where I wanted to dump it.

Ever since I was a little girl, I was told I was a dreamer. I can remember report cards with “day dreams” written on it. I think dreams are what keep us going. Without dreams…we have no hope.

Follow Your Dreams, The Siren Called Out To Me

As I closed my eyes and fell deep into lovely sleep.
The dream siren called me with a promise to keep

I closed my eyes and looked deep in my soul
I could feel the wind blowing…it was so very cold

My dreams I had carried through year after year
They will never come true was my biggest fear

Wandering up one lane and down another
Remembering my dream since I became a mother

Land, open land and a place to be free
A small house to live in with a big evergreen tree

We mounted the buckboard with all we owned inside
And started over the mountain on this crazy dream ride

We felt like pioneers racing to the finish line for land
And the whole time we knew -The Lord had our hand

So don’t be afraid to dream your dreams and try
Life is too short…open your wings up and fly

Dream I say and work the dream hard as you can
For it will be the best race that you ever ran.

We all have dreams of what we want out of life. I remember Laverne on Laverne and Laverne saying her dream was to have a purple cashmere sweater. Well, our dream is to own land in the country and have a simple life style unencumbered by so much of what is in the world today.

I love to write and have written for years. And hopefully will continue to write for many more years. My real name is Deb.

This blog is about our journey to get there, our life after we reached the promised land and different middle of the night ramblings. Dreams are like cooking…we might get our grandparents old recipes, but we tend to alter them to suit ourselves. But, dream we must…for as long as we have hope in life…we have dreams. And even plain ole everyday people get dreams that come true.

I hope you enjoy and will subscribe and share my journey. Come join us at the foothills of the mountains where we have found a life of simplicity and serenity, in spite of all the health trials of one disabled woman and the courage of a son that chose to take care of her.