A New Twist On New Year’s Resolutions

A new year is coming and there is so much to look forward to and so many things that one can do differently and change their lives forever.  It is easy to lose sight of the fact that we are important in this world.

 “You are not the momentary whim of a careless creator experimenting in the laboratory of life…You were made with a purpose.”

 Og Mandino

I like that quote…to believe that God created us for a reason..not just to exist but to do…to be….and to live. So, as I look to the new year, I have made some resolutions.

  First is to keep my faith in God and realize all the miracles He has created in this world….to wake up and see the miracle of the sunrise, to sit outside and see the miracle of nature….to look at people and see the miracle God created when He formed us. I do believe in miracles.

 

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Albert Einstein

Second is to quit worrying about what people might think, to be spontaneous and to allow myself to feel.

 

 “You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”

William W. Purkey

Third is to realize that I am important to someone…be it family, family of choice, friends, even my pet…

 “To the world you might be one person, but to one person, you might be the world.”  anonymous

 Fourth is to sing and sing often …..just because I can. Life can be filled with joy.

“A bird does not sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.”

Chinese proverb

Fifth is to not drift in my life and lose my time. I want to live life to the fullest.

Some people drift through their entire life. They do it one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. It happens so gradually they are unaware of how their lives are slipping away until it’s too late.

Mary Kay Ash

 Sixth is to be myself…to never compromise myself because of others…to always be true to myself.

“It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.”

Andre Gide

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”

Hardy D. Jackson

 Seventh is to realize that I am a role model to someone whether I want to be or not.

“Whether or not you have children yourself, you are a parent to the next generation.
If we can only stop thinking of children as individual property and think of them
as the next generation, then we can realize we all have a role to play.”

Charlotte Davis-Kasl

Eighth is to accept and use the fact that I am in charge of me and my feelings and how I act. That my faith is up to me and no one else and to act in a way that people treat me like a person of worth.

“You are in charge of your feelings, beliefs, and actions. And you teach others
how to behave toward you.  While you cannot change other people, you can
influence them through your own behaviors and actions.  By being a living
role model of what you want to receive from others, you create more of
what you want in your life.”

Eric Allenbaugh

Ninth is to not waste my time on senseless anger. If I am upset…to talk about it and get it out and over.

 “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tenth is to quit searching and realize that happiness is inside me. It is not in my possessions, in other people, in my job, in my car..but within my heart. That I can be gloriously happy and have nothing.

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look past the imperfections.”

 Unknown

Eleventh is to reach out in kindness to those around me. I believe we have an inherent responsibility to help those around us, be it with a kind word, helping them in a time of need, offering them comfort, whatever.

 “All of us are born for a reason, but all of us don’t discover why. Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others.”

Danny Thomas

Twelfth is to really take the time to look at people and pay attention to how they are feeling and center less on me and more on the feelings of others.

Never worry about numbers.  Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you. 

Mother Teresa

And last is to LIVE…not just exist…to get out there and taste life one bite at a time.

 “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

 These resolutions are something I think I can incorporate into my life and make my life the fullest it has ever been.  And they are resolutions I believe I can keep through out the year and past. What resolutions do you have?

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.–Dr. Suess

♫♫Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. ♫♫

video by  AngelLove831

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE.

Middle of The Night Ramblings

Woke up with horrible muscle contractions and am laying here waiting on meds to kick in. As I look around my room and out into the other part of the house, I am once again struck with a deep feeling of gratitude for our home. It is a small home but the amazing thing is that everyone says the same words when they come in our home. They look around and say “your home is so cozy and so filled with warmth and love”.  Now, it might not be a fancy mansion, might not have granite counter tops or high ceilings and wood beams, but they are right…this home is filled with warmth and love.

Another thing people say to son and I is that our home is so serene. I have for years worked hard at creating an environment in the home that is warm and loving and filled with serenity that when someone comments on it…to me that says they feel it. I have even helped others create at least one room of serenity for themselves for we all need it in this chaotic world.

As I read the news and the dire predictions for housing to still fall even more and the economy slowed, I am even more thankful that our house sold on the other side of the mountain and we were able to get this home. The sad part for me was that bad news for someone of losing their home brought us the good news of owning our home. That part made me sad and feel bad for the ones that lost the house a couple of years ago.

Son and I both would tell anyone that the selling of our house on the other side of the mountain and getting here was probably one of the hardest tests of faith that we have endured but we stuck with it. Did we ever have down times? Oh yes, I can remember after two years had passed and our house on the other side had not sold…crying to a friend that it was never going to sell. But, that did not change my resolve to keep working towards it.

Times were hard for the economy was really down. They keep saying it ended in 2009 but I think they failed to let the rest of the world know for things are still tough in the economy. Son and I spent two years getting the house ready to sell, doing things we could do without spending a lot of money. We sheet rocked walls in the unfinished room and put in a ceiling and if you don’t think that wasn’t hard with one able man and a disabled woman..his mother…think again. I was the “mudder” for the sheet rock and ceiling because son had never done it before and I had. It was quite a feat for me being on forearm crutches and especially the ceiling. Son made a platform for me to lay on and I laid on my back mudding the seam of the sheet rock we used to make the ceiling. But, you know what…we got it done. Yes, I had to crawl on all fours to get up and down the stairs to the basement and yes, many nights I could barely make it to bed and would be up with pain but the good news was….we made the house where someone bought it and we didn’t lose as much money as all the other people on our street were doing.

It was a test of faith to know that all bills would get paid, that all the materials we would need to get that house ready to sell in a bad market and that we would get here. But, you know what…I believe in the promise that God will take care of our needs and He did just that. Bills would come due and out of the blue we would get money in the mail..refunds from this or that and it would match the amount we needed to pay. Or, we would need materials and suddenly someone would have exactly what we needed on freecycle. That is how we got the sheet rock…and the man even brought it to our house and helped unload it. The things we needed always appeared.

Perhaps this was why it took two years to sell the house and then when it did, we got more than the other houses on our street. It was a test of faith and committment. Yes, we lost money on the house, but we still were able to get over the mountain and find our home. What more could we ask. For me, knowing God would provide our needs was something I had learned a long time ago. For son, it was an eye-opening experience and he learned the words “Thank you Lord” and spoke them often as God provided for us and for all the materials we needed to get the house sold.

Could we go out and buy things we wanted just for fun? No. But we had a roof over our heads, food, clothing, heat and the materials to keep working on the house.We were indeed blessed. God provided but we had to do our part. We had to do the physical labor to fix the house and we had to refrain from spending money unnecessarily. God provides for our needs but that does not mean we sit back on our laurels and just expect it all to be done for us. And my lips often say the words “Thank You Lord” not just for my home but for my life and my sons and the ones I love in my life.

I am blessed beyond means and it is not in money but in the kind of wealth that you can not buy…in love and warmth and comfort, in people who love me and care about me, in the medical care I am getting. God is good…..all the time. I learned to say Thank you Lord in bad times for if we stop and look…we will see someone much worse than we are..and that in itself is a gift.

The Difference In A Second

As I lay here in the early morning light, I thought about something that we all take for granted….life. I was watching an old Mash show last nite and in it, a young boy died on the operating table and Radar was so upset that one of the doctors followed him and sat down to try and comfort him. Radar said something that really resonated with me. He said “how can a person be alive one second and dead the next”.   That set me to thinking about a second and about life.

When we are young we think we will live forever. That is just part of being a kid. And sadly, children die daily. My heart hurt last nite for the woman who was sick and her neighbor was taking care of the kids and he killed the daughter and dismembered her. I thought about all the children who die daily from abuse, from predators, from accidents. So….no, we don’t live forever. In a second, we can be gone.

And as we get older, we realize that life has no guarantees of tomorrow. So, why do people not value life more? And why do we not realize what a monumental thing it is when people reach the age of eighty, ninety…a hundred.  As a whole, life is treated as if nothing can stop it and yet daily people are dying for many reasons…..gone in a second.

So, what should we be doing?  I think life is something we have to remember to not take for granted and to realize that …in a seconds time…we may have lost the time to tell our loved ones how much we love them, to hug our loved ones and to give to them all the love we hold in our hearts.

Part of valuing life is valuing our own health. I look back and see things I would have done so differently had I realized that life is not a guarantee and that part ….only part…of living is up to me. I would not have smoked for one for I believe that destroys our health. Now, to be honest, I loved smoking. I loved the taste and the feeling having a cigarette with my morning cup of coffee. But, to be realistic…my body did not.  I would have eaten healthier, exercised more and taken better care of me. And I would have detached myself from emotional vampires who love drama and love to suck the life from you.

While taking care of me is important, what about valuing the life around us. Every moment we waste not being with loved ones, not telling loved ones how much we care or spending time showing them….. are moments that are lost forever. We can never get them back.  And we may not get the opportunity to do it in the future.  They can be gone in a second.

How many times have you heard people after someone dies say oh they wish they had done or said this or that. Hindsight is always 20/20 but it should wake us up. It should make us realize that all the ugly drama that can enfold with families and close friends is really not worth it. What will it matter who said what a year from now?  Think about all the tension and drama around holiday time…how it ruins holidays…takes the joy away from it…and that holiday will be gone and can not be replayed. There is no rewind in life.

I have seen people who carried grudges for years to the point they don’t even remember what the reason was…they just knew they were mad at the other person. And all that time, they lost being with someone who was important in their life at one time. And that time can never be regained.

Perhaps the older I get, I realize that I have less time than I did at twenty. But, even being twenty…I can see that life was not seen as precious as it should have been by me and by many. I think the world has become consumed with “possession-itis” and it is what we can buy or attain that has become most important and has taken over where family and loved ones should be top of the list.

When son and I decided to sell the house and move on this side of the mountain, our goal was to get rid of bills and get rid of the burden of a huge house of 2200 square feet …a house in which we did not use all of it most of the time….and find a home we could pay for or at the least pay less for that was smaller. And we accomplished that with this small little cottage house we have. And daily we look around and realize how much we love it. There is not one space in this house that is not used daily.  And the strain of paying for that huge house is off of us. It allows us to do quality things together, just like the making of our thanksgiving dinner where the making and cooking together was the most important part. The eating was just the reward of it.

Many want fame and fortune to be what they are remembered for. Fame and fortune can be gone in a second too and so many people have seen this with the depression our economy has been in the past few years. When I die, I want to be remembered for the love I gave, for the time I spent, for the calls I made or the visits I did or the times I shared my life…my home and special events with those I love.  I want people to remember that I loved them and that I valued them and wanted them in my life…that I was there in hard times for them, that I gave of myself to comfort them.

I also don’t want to lose people in my life and regret that I did not spend more time with them, that I did not call them or write them or visit them ….did not hug them and let them know I loved them..that I was not there in their time of need. I want to live my life so that the important things …like love and family and family of choice are top of the list…not how famous I am or what a big home I have or what a big career I have or had. If everything can be gone in a second…I want to know that my seconds were spent on the most important…on those I love and care about.

So, what about you?  How are you spending your moments in life?

My Reason For the Season

Wishing everyone a glorious love filled Christmas. Take the time to enjoy family and just be with them.  Time spent with loved ones is the best part of the day.

This is my reason for the season.

Under The Stars

It is dark here now and I was standing and looking out the sliding glass doors. I put on my coat and stepped outside for just a minute and stood there. All was quiet and the stars were twinkling and I started thinking about the first Christmas. The more I thought it was as if everything receded and I was standing in a field.

Take the time and step outside and.stand there alone and stare at the stars and then envision yourself standing in a field….just you and the sheep you are watching. And just imagine that while you are standing there, from the sky you hear singing and you look up and see angels in all their glory singing and telling you a great message…a message about Jesus. Would you believe them?  I thought long and hard and wondered how I would react during those times, especially when people were so skeptical already.

And as you continue to stare at those stars and envision the angels in the sky, allow yourself to hear the singing and the message you are being told. And then imagine you decided you need to go see this for yourself. And so you head out.

Meanwhile, in another land in different places are three wise men. Pretend you are one of them who wants to see this which you knew was going to happen and so you set off on your camel to travel a long ways.  Oh my what faith these people had. I can not visualize any of us packing up and traveling by the path of a star to find a baby that was supposed to save the world. And yet they did.

Then, I allowed myself to see…a stable with this star shining brightly over it and I actually felt myself tremble with the thought. I felt like a voyeur by then as I watched in my mind’s eye a story I had heard many many many times. I could see the stable and the baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and Mary beside the baby and Joseph standing nearby. And I could see the awe and amazement on the shepherd and the wise men. And I actually felt my legs go weak and sat down right there as I continued my mental and spiritual journey.

I think it says so much that God used something as small and fragile and dependent as a tiny baby to send us a savior. It is a demonstration to me of our weakness and dependence on Him. And as I sat on the back step in the cold with the stars twinkling around me and seeing almost like looking in a snowglobe the reason for this holiday, I found tears in my eyes for it was so beautiful.

Our hearts and our faith are what keep us going in life. And faith is believing in what you can’t see but I believe we can see it….if we just take the time to open our hearts and our minds. And so, on this note…I bid you all a Merry Christmas and prayers that yours is a wonderful and joyous time and a time of peace.

thehandmaid.wordpress.com

Eleven Hints For Life

These are not my words but I loved them when I read them. Thought they were good with the holiday season on and reminders that life does not always work perfectly.

“Eleven Hints for Life”

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

- Unknown

 

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

- Unknown

 

 

No Matter Where You Live

No matter where you live, someone will go to bed hungry tonight and will go to bed hungry Christmas Eve. No matter where you live, someone is homeless and the shocking statistic to me is that about a third of the homeless population is our veterans.  Our men mostly and women who have fought for our freedom…homeless.

For these people, the hourglass has all run to the bottom…but we can be the one that turns it over for them.

No matter where you live, there are children who are having no Christmas, going to bed hungry nightly and will wake up Christmas Day just like any other day for them and feeling like no one cares, while we are ripping through gift paper and eating big Christmas dinners. That is a stark contrast to me.

I imagine you are sitting here reading this thinking…oh great, she is going to tell us we should not have any Christmas. No, I am not. What is going through my mind is the appreciation I feel for all that I have been blessed with and a realization that we easily have become a greedy nation.  I think we have lost the true meaning of giving.

“To truly give, you have to give up something. It may be money. It may be time. It may be a possession. It may mean doing something you would never dream of normally doing. It is not always easy. I always tell them that giving away a toy that they never play with and no longer care about is not full and true giving because there is no sacrifice. It is too easy.“  Shane Bridges

I had never thought of the true meaning of “giving” until my sons exemplified to me what it was and then I realized how giving up something I really valued was the ultimate giving…whether it was in time, money, or possessions.

I watched my boys one year, give up half of their Christmas to help give three little boys a Christmas while their Mom was in treatment. I cried watching my young sons give so generously. They could have cleaned out what they no longer wanted but instead, they gave up half of the new they were getting for Christmas to kids who had none. They gave up half of what they had dreamed of and wanted so badly for months….to make other children happy. I was and still am so proud of my boys.

My piece of bread only belongs to me when I know that everyone else has a share, and that no one starves while I eat.  ~Leo Tolstoy

That is when we started sharing our home with others.  And thus the birth of the share your holidays with others was born for us. And son and I still share with others on holidays because we are  giving of our hearts and our love and sharing that with others. And you know what, the love is shared back. We are not just the givers….we are also the recipients. Having others share our holiday helps make our holiday even brighter because the more people with you on a holiday, the merrier it is.

Maybe my sons and I have been lucky in that we have never been rich and always struggled to make it, for it made us more aware of those around us that did not have or those that were alone. No matter where you are, there are elderly, poor, children and just plain adults…who will go to bed hungry. But, not only that…will go to bed feeling as if no one cares.

One must be poor to know the luxury of giving!  ~George Eliot

Giving is more than opening your wallet…it is opening your heart and giving of love and caring. When we lived back east, I used to deliver meals on Christmas and Thanksgiving day. And I would stop and visit with each person as I gave them their hot dinner. My reward for this gift was a dinner plate to take home but the biggest reward was seeing people smile who were home alone…shut in because they were sick and could not get out and seeing their smile at having someone come to their door. And as my health has declined, it has made me appreciate those who try now to make my world brighter even more. And I have been blessed with some very special angels who not only have brightened my life but brightened my home with their generousity.

Have you ever worked at a soup kitchen? When we lived on the other side of the mountain, I would volunteer to help. Yes, I was disabled but I would sit and peel potatoes, clean tables and whatever they needed me to do and then I would serve the desert table for them. There were people there who ranged from the homeless to those that were on fixed incomes or struggling that came in to eat. I served on Christmas Day, and loved every minute of it.  I could have sat at home and whined and cried because son was working and I was alone for the holidays…but I didn’t.  And when I came home and son and I ate our dinner late that nite or even the next day, it made me appreciate it all that much more.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
Mother Teresa

I have heard people say they were not giving or helping this person or that because they thought they should be out with a job or they didn’t like how they did this or that. And it has always made me sad to hear comments like that. I remember teaching and I had a little girl who came to school literally in rags. I asked my sister, who had a daughter that age, for hand me downs and when that little girl opened that box, the look on her face was as if someone had handed me a box of money. My sister sent the most beautiful clothes for this little girl. She was so thrilled over those dresses and she would hold the skirt and swirl it around as if she were a princess. Some of the teachers said “she will just have them dirty in a couple of months” and my reply was that I didn’t care for the joy she felt right now was worth it. And besides that…why should I punish the child because the parents did not keep her clean?

Charity sees the need, not the cause.  ~German Proverb

Don’t wait to be asked for help. We are capable of looking and seeing when others are in need. I realize I am more of an anticipator than most but we actually are capable of seeing when another is in need…seeing when someone is doing without…seeing if someone is in trouble and needs help (like some of you did for my trip to Colorado Springs to have the heart cath done and you helped us be able to get there and  back.Look beyond the surface…look into the eyes and the hearts of others and then act.

He who gives when he is asked has waited too long.  ~Sunshine Magazine

Son still likes to tease me about ♫♫I see the light♫♫ when Jack sat on the control to my hospital bed and made both ends go up at once when I was sleeping…and I thought God had come to get me. But, the truth is…we all have a duty to spread the light…the light of love and giving. And in doing so, we can either be the one giving the light or the one that is reflecting the light of those giving. Sometimes we are the ones that pave the way and sometimes we are the ones that follow…both help.

There are two ways of spreading light – to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.  ~Edith Wharton, Vesalius in Zante

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if you can’t do great things and help a lot of people that you should do nothing. Mother Teresa said if you can’t help a hundred people….then help ONE.  Many people will fail to act…fail to do anything because they think only helping one or two is insignificant but it is not. Just think how many people would be helped if we each helped just one or two.

If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
Mother Teresa

Life is short and we need to do while we can. Love long and deeply, care about others, give that which we truly value..not what we no longer need and most of all, remember that as you pass through life, that much about you may not be remembered when you are gone but the what you do for others will carry on with them.

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.  ~William Penn

♫♫Christmas is A Coming♫♫…..And So Is A Snow Storm.

Christmas is a coming

the geese are getting fat

please to put a penny

in an old man’s hat

if you haven’t got a penny

a half a penny will do

if you haven’t got a half a penny

then may God bless you

video by xstchr

Today was the day to get the outside decorations up. While we were working on them, we learned that tomorrow a massive snow storm is due to hit and the report said 4-8 inches of snow with higher amounts of snow in Huerfano County and Pueblo.  Well, that is us, so we are about to be hit with a big storm and lots of snow. I love it.

video by DreamsILive

I will post pictures we take tonight later on, showing things lit up. Son put up our nativity with Joseph, Mary, Baby Jesus, a donkey and two lambs, large blow up Christmas balls on the tree, a polar bear that inflates with a Christmas hat on and one bush with lights on it.

We got the Christmas ball ornaments a few years ago and I love them. One year a lady showed up at the door and had one in her hand and wanted to know was it ours. Son, who always handles all that kind of stuff was behind me and I said the lady wanted to know had he lost his ball. I didn’t realize how that sounded at the time and son just about died. He says I can say things so naively and never even know what I have said.

I sat on a stool helping…of course you know I was a lot of help. LOL.  Here I am sitting on my stool and propping on my forearm crutches.

Son used the air compressor to inflate all the Christmas balls. I just love how they look in the tree.

And he set up the polar bear. He had to put bricks in the bottom of the polar bear to keep the wind from taking him off. I think he is so cute.

And I am saving the nativity to show later this evening when it is dark, cause it is so pretty lit up. He also put lights on the bush next to the bear.

And of course, Jack supervised from the door. Ha Ha

video by CookiesDen2 .

Do Things Always Come In Threes And Has Anyone Seen My Oasis?

“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We’re afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire,   1880-1918

If you expect life to be simple and calm….don’t. I have learned that it is a roller coaster at times and sometimes you just have to hold on and pray. And if you get too tired, just lay down in the seat, for it will still zoom you along whether you want to go or not.

I am sitting here wondering if things always come in threes. I sure hope not because two in two days is enough. Last nite son fell on the ice and tore his knee open and banged it up pretty bad.  That was one. Now, he just hollers to me and says bring the medicine box. I go in the kitchen and he is leaning over the sink and blood is going everywhere and I look at his hand and the end of his thumb has a huge jagged place where a screw went into his thumb and came out and tore on the bottom side. Ugly let me tell you.  That is two. I really don’t want three. LOL  Good thing we have three medical boxes from son being a First Responder.

I looked outside today. First time in a while and the snow is still here. It has been bitter cold but sunny so I guess the snow will take a while melting.

This is the flat areas. We have piles still from where son shoveled and had to put the snow somewhere. Those will take a lot longer to melt. But I still love the snow. It is so beautiful to me.

According to the weather, we have cold and sunny for the next few days. So we will see if the sun melts this snow away. Good news is we have had a lot of snow and that is good for our water levels and the drought problems we have in the summers.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.

The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.     

Ayn Rand

Sometimes I lay in the dark and feel the cool breeze of the fan and close my eyes just for a while, weary from the battle. But I have always been a warrior and I have always fought when everyone else said give up and I continue to do so. I think perhaps I finally got that through to the Social Worker who is helping me convince the doctors that I can not make five trips up to Denver to do this, that I need it all put in one lump visit and that I need to wait until January so that financially I am a little better and physically I have recovered from the cath, the flu and the biopsy. My body is weary…my courage is not and I know what it takes for me to fight.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

  Dale Carnegie

When you think you can’t take another step, just know that you can. It might be hard. It may even be lonely or feel lonely, but you can.  The decision is…do you want to stop now and rest or do you want to keep fighting…and sometimes…you can do both. We all have within a warrior somewhere…and it will come out when you least expect.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Grass Is Greener Syndrome

As I lay here tonight, watching my standby Julia and Julie and wishing I was laying on a sun soaked beach feeling the warmth penetrate my poor weary body, I realized that I have been sick for almost a week and don’t even remember all the days. Son and I decided this must be some kind of flu virus for I don’t think food poisoning would go on this long.

I also realized that I was suffering from The Grass is Greener Syndrome. This Syndrome is in epidemic proportions around the world. We all have it at some time or another. The symptoms are wishing our life were like someone else, or that we had this or that like someone else, more formally known as The Grass is Greener On The Other Side Of The Fence.

I remember telling someone once a long time ago how some people seemed to have it so easy while others struggled to make it. Their response was “what makes you think they have it so easy? Just because you don’t see their burdens does not mean they are not heavy ones”.  I thought about this long and hard and realized that we all carry burdens and ours may seem so heavy at times because we are carrying them.  And carry them we do and sometimes we wish we could just lay them down for a little while but we don’t for we know we must carry on in life.

Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall.  Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day.  Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down.  And this is all life really means. 

~Robert Louis Stevenson

The ironic thing is that while we are wishing we were like someone else, others are wishing they were like us for they may see that we are “strong” or seem to have things they don’t have. Like I said, we all have The Grass is Greener Syndrome at some time or another.

I admit I wish right now for the quietness and peacefulness of a year ago but in reality, I would not want that forever. I have just had months and months of so much from packing and moving to fixing the house up and getting settled, to all the health issues and doctor appointments and hospital tests and procedures and it seems without break. So, yes, those that are able to just relax and have nothing major on their plate…those that are bouncing around having a ball decorating their homes for the holidays…those that seem to have everything falling into place right now seems much greener.  But the reality is, I love our life here in this little town and I love our home and would not really want to go back to a year ago. It just sounds nice …the quiet, peacefulness, not having things we have to rush around and do.

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.  ~Victor Hugo

So, sometimes…all we can do is our best  And while we are hanging on with all we have, we need to realize that our happiness relies on us….not on possessions, people, money….whatever. Those things are fleeting and can change.

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

And when you feel like you can’t take any more, like you have reached the end of the rope and someone cut it off, like you have fought until there is nothing left to fight with…just know that the fall is not really that far or that hard. It may seem like it but when you hit…you will see that it is ok to cry, to be sad, to feel frustrated, to feel like you want to give up but won’t, to wish things were done and over, to allow your inner weakness and being to show and even to wish you were someone or somewhere else for a little while. Those that love you are there to help cushion the fall.

video by Jiruizig

Never explain.  Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway.  ~Elbert Hubbard

People may expect us to act a certain way but those that love us will understand. They will know we are battling…are sick….are tired…and are just holding on with both hands. Just keep dreaming…while you are laying there, close your eyes and dream the dreams of being somewhere else….of having all the problems drift away for just a little while.

video by TopTJFan 

 ”…they think that I’m strange… they say that I’m a dreamer… but I don’t complain, though I don’t have much to call my own. I know a place where I keep the best of things. I’m not gonna wait for my piece of heaven where there’s a road, it leads to the promised land. I just turn the key, the key to the kingdom.” The Kingdom

That key to the kingdom opens to those that really love you and are there for you.  I am blessed by many who have helped me along the way, have listened to my fears and tears and dried them for me, have encouraged me, have just sat in silence with me, have wisked around me with hugs, have covered me with soft fleece and have held my hand in spirit.

 ~*Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down*~ -Oprah Winfrey

video by booboowhite1