A Scare and A Spiritual Journey

Oh home, home, home and so glad to be here. Everything is winter wonderland outside and beautiful. I love the snow. It is like nature’s make up and hides all the blemishes and all the world looks beautiful.

Last nite, we had a wee scare. Wee Hello dolly, was a huge scare. The pressure bandage showed some signs of leakage and being an artery that is scary but thanks to some added pressure there, it once again stopped. It is amazing how many things you do that pull that area on the side of your stomach. Just sitting up pulls there, trips to the bathroom pull there and oh goodness ….leaning over pulls there. And, it is so easy to lean over  without thinking. I go to get my socks or slipper and don’t even realize I have “leaned over”.

I lay here last nite thinking what a spiritual journey this has been. It started with a CTA scan that said two places of significant blockage and ended with me coming home with NO stents. Oh, I am thanking my Creator and Lord big time.

It was a journey that led me through many prayers and a trip to the grotto here on the side of the road. A journey where son placed my statue of Blessed Kateri there and I prayed to our Creator and Lord for healing as people claim to have received healing there.

This is me offering sage to the Lord and offering up my prayers for healing.

It became a significant  journey with Mama coming to be with me for a week. And she got to go with me for the CTA. What comfort that was to have Mama here and while she was here, we took her to the grotto where she left an item for prayer.

And the journey continued on with a dear friend calling me filled with such awe and excitement for she was visiting out on Sante Fe and said she was wandering around and church bells lead her to this church. Oh, the description of the statues she gave me as she entered that church yard blew her away. For, first was St. Francis, that she has seen in my yard and second was a Native American called …………..and before she could say the name I was shouting  “Kateri!  Kateri!” as I excitedly told her that was the statue son took to the grotto that day and placed up in the rocks for me. What excited chatter followed from both of us. She told me she felt such prayerful power coming from there and went inside that church and lit candles and got Holy Water to send me for she felt healing there.

During this time I think the cell phones were dinging off the hook as pictures and comments flowed back and forth and the spiritual connection was felt deeply as she lit candles for me.

And the journey continued with gifts pouring in with things like my native American family bracelet that was blessed, and the glass heart sent and filled with love, the crooked cross, the medallion of Mary and other items that were filled with blessings and spiritual meaning to me and the senders.

and continued on with a son who filled the house with Christmas because he was afraid I would feel too bad to do it and enjoy it. (and he was right)

And a special Thanksgiving given to us by Sassy and BOS…what a memory in the making. Son did not realize but I did that this was to give son something to hang on to in case something happened to me. Oh and what a glorious day that was.

And the days passed so slowly and yet so quickly with me sitting and looking out the door at the sunrise wondering how many more I was going to see. And it became a ritual of getting myself geared up to be in top warrior mode and be ready for all of this that was coming and still is.

And through it all, the one thing I was so blessed with was family/family of choice/friends who loved me, supported me and were there with prayers and love and even goodies like biscotti and coffee and cards. You will never know how much you touched my heart with it all.

So, I say:

And so, it became time for this warrior to don her headband and get that mojo in gear for the fight. I have to be able to fight to make it through these things. Believe it or not, because of health issues and chronic pain, going for a cat scan puts me down in bed for about three days with high pain and flu like feelings, so you can imagine what this will do to me. And so, I started getting into warrior gear.

Those of you that know me, know what this headband means. Sassy went looking all over the internet to replace my headband when it broke because she realized the significance and knew it was like Samson’s hair for me and when I broke my old one, I cried and cried. When I wear this headband…for newcomers…it means I am fighting hard..because of pain or whatever physical I am about to have to endure. Another friend, sent me this wonder woman doll because she said it made her think of me.

And the journey continued with some of you donating money to help with this trip and Sassy and Bos getting us a motel room for two nights. Oh I do not think I could have made it without that motel. I was in so much pain from the trip up that I was up all night trying to get eased off. I am still blown away by your love, care, compassion and generosity. This trip was rough but it was so much easier thanks to all of YOU!!

Just remember…it is what you THINK you can do that matters. It does not matter how you look to others but what you feel you look like and how strong you THINK you are that matters.

So, whatever you do that you are afraid of, do it with swagga as a friend of mine says. Do it with courage and strength and carry the strength of the Creator and Lord with you for He is all you need.

When we drove into CO Springs, I saw this in the sky. If you can’t see it…it is Angels…and I knew then I would be ok. Which helped me to go into the hospital with a calmness.

The journey continues on to the motel and us Dr. Doolittles and the menagerie unloaded.

And our journey led us to the hospital and here I am, ready to be hooked up to all the monitors and stuff and get on my hospital gown.

Son was with me and then ran back to the motel to check on Jack because he thought he had almost two hours before they would take me and they came in and zoomed me out over an hour early. Talk about scary. The great thing was they let me keep my Native American family bracelet on and carry in my hand the stone heart all through the procedure.

So, now you have walked the jist of the journey with me and I am sure are saying…well????? What happened.  Well the journey ended with this:

THUMBS UP!!!

I had to ask son why I had a pillow on my chest and he said they had my arms propped up on it so that I did not have my hands near where he was putting the tube in the artery. Makes sense to me. But, the greatest joy and I believe in the power of prayer and miracles, is that the doctor was all but dancing around the procedure room as he told me he could not believe it…that the CTA showed two areas with significant blockage and when he got in there, he did not find significant blockage anywhere. He found some blockage but nothing to worry about. Son said he called him as he was driving back and he said he had never heard the doctor sound so excited as he told him the same thing. So, whether you believe in angels, miracles or prayer like me…something happened and this test came out wonderful and all I can say is THANK YOU LORD!!.

video by rebel072162

We drove home in a snow storm and got home to see winter wonderland at our house. It was a scary ride and I just learned friends were planning in the background what they would do should we get stranded and how to get us to another motel. Amazing folks you all are.

This is what it looked like driving in the snow and it got worse and you could not see the vehicle in front of you. But Colorado is great on having the snow plows out and working.

And now, I will rest and get over this and prepare for the kidney surgery for which the cardiologist gave his ok for and said for them to go ahead and set it up. Denver wanted me here Monday for the consult:

Urologic Oncology, University of Colorado Hospital

but there is no way. I told them I could not be there Monday. I have to get over this and right now I can barely make it to the bathroom. And then, once this surgery is done, my hope….my prayer…..my dream is that I am done for a while.   And I can lay here and stare at all the beautiful sunrises and sunsets I want.

To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before

I dreamed last nite I was laying on that table and they were about to do the heart cath/stents thing and the star trek theme song was playing and my doctor was singing  that he was about to BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE.  And to make it worse, in the dream, a roto rooter truck pulled up and started pulling this big snake out of it. Talk about a 3D nightmare.

Of course, the other nite I dreamed that Sassy and BOS were singing to raise money for me and they were wearing glitzy red and turquoise sequined outfits with these wild Supreme hairdos. Now, I have heard Sassy sing..lol so I am not sure if they made money or not.

So, you can tell it is all weighing on me and even though I appear calm on the outside, the inside is on sensory overload. LOL  I was thrilled that the motel bed felt like sleeping on a cloud since the trip caused my knees to swell up like watermelons and the pain was extreme. Son was up doing a lot of taking care of me…he even brought the mini dvd player and had J and J for me to watch with my earplug. He said I was in and out as the pain was keeping me up and so would ask him to restart the video over and over. Even the sheet was painful.

I woke up early to a text from big bro over the mountain and another from sassy letting me know they were thinking of me and sending prayers.  I wanted coffee so badly that I put a pot on and then was not sure if I was allowed to drink decaf or not.  So, I decided I better not. Son is calling them to ask. So, here I sit…with no coffee and desperately want it to kick in my meds.

Time is drawing near and I will be leaving the motel in a couple of hours to get this all underway. Son will post and let you all know. Hopefully he will be posting a thumbs up picture of me. Til then…see you all later.

Destination Complete-Colorado Springs

We made it. The menagerie and all survived the trip. We could hear Misty swinging on her swing in her cage..which was covered to keep her from being stressed. And one time we heard her fall off the swing and thump to the floor of the cage and then she hopped back up and starting singing.  Jack rode very well. He loves his kennel and so just lays back there watching us.

I think it is son and I that are the worse for wear. Riding is extremely exhausting and painful for me even with all the soft pillows son puts around me to make it easier. And Son’s bad knee and leg give him a fit from the driving. He injured it a few years ago and never has let them do the surgery on it.  But, the good news is…we are here..yeah rah and getting settled in.

As we were riding, I spotted this in the clouds. Whether you see it or not, from the van it looked like an angel to son and I. That was a good omen as we entered CO Springs. This town starts getting dark at 4 in the afternoon because they are between mountains and so people had their headlights on.

The man at the front desk was so nice and told me if I needed anything to call him. He knows I am here for hospital things. Our room is nice and on a back corner near a grassy area and that makes it nice for son to take Jack out to potty. Plus it makes for a very quiet room. Our room is at the handicap section and the beds are higher and easy access to the bathroom. Oh what a blessing and thank you to Sassy and BOS…I am exhausted but feel so much gratitude for what you did with this room.

There is no microwave and son and I opted to just eat in the room, so the little coffee pot is getting a work out heating water to make soup with and to heat up Jack’s food. Reminds me of the days when we put the baby’s bottle in a hot bowl of water to warm it.    So everything is going well. After a bowl of soup and crackers and cheese, I am ready to lay down and get my legs up. Son is still eating turkey sandwiches but he loves them. Me, I am sick of turkey

Thank you for all the prayers and help. It has made this trip so much easier. Tomorrow I report to the Doctor’s suite at one and then after they do all their stuff, I go across to the hospital for the heart stuff at four. Going to be a long day. And I am whipped so am going to turn in.

oh oh, almost forgot to tell you. Son was reminding me that the doctors were going to give me some of that  “don’t care” drug for the test so I would not care what they were doing. I told son that I was gonna tell the docs that I cared a LOT so could I have double?  giggling

Heart Center Has Me Now. :)

Heart Center just called. I report in at one and the heart stuff starts at 4……………….on Wednesday the 30th. So I am only one day off and the motel is set.  And so we will leave tomorrow and be on this journey and hopefully come home on Thursday.