Eleven Hints For Life

These are not my words but I loved them when I read them. Thought they were good with the holiday season on and reminders that life does not always work perfectly.

“Eleven Hints for Life”

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

- Unknown

 

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

- Unknown

 

 

No Matter Where You Live

No matter where you live, someone will go to bed hungry tonight and will go to bed hungry Christmas Eve. No matter where you live, someone is homeless and the shocking statistic to me is that about a third of the homeless population is our veterans.  Our men mostly and women who have fought for our freedom…homeless.

For these people, the hourglass has all run to the bottom…but we can be the one that turns it over for them.

No matter where you live, there are children who are having no Christmas, going to bed hungry nightly and will wake up Christmas Day just like any other day for them and feeling like no one cares, while we are ripping through gift paper and eating big Christmas dinners. That is a stark contrast to me.

I imagine you are sitting here reading this thinking…oh great, she is going to tell us we should not have any Christmas. No, I am not. What is going through my mind is the appreciation I feel for all that I have been blessed with and a realization that we easily have become a greedy nation.  I think we have lost the true meaning of giving.

“To truly give, you have to give up something. It may be money. It may be time. It may be a possession. It may mean doing something you would never dream of normally doing. It is not always easy. I always tell them that giving away a toy that they never play with and no longer care about is not full and true giving because there is no sacrifice. It is too easy.“  Shane Bridges

I had never thought of the true meaning of “giving” until my sons exemplified to me what it was and then I realized how giving up something I really valued was the ultimate giving…whether it was in time, money, or possessions.

I watched my boys one year, give up half of their Christmas to help give three little boys a Christmas while their Mom was in treatment. I cried watching my young sons give so generously. They could have cleaned out what they no longer wanted but instead, they gave up half of the new they were getting for Christmas to kids who had none. They gave up half of what they had dreamed of and wanted so badly for months….to make other children happy. I was and still am so proud of my boys.

My piece of bread only belongs to me when I know that everyone else has a share, and that no one starves while I eat.  ~Leo Tolstoy

That is when we started sharing our home with others.  And thus the birth of the share your holidays with others was born for us. And son and I still share with others on holidays because we are  giving of our hearts and our love and sharing that with others. And you know what, the love is shared back. We are not just the givers….we are also the recipients. Having others share our holiday helps make our holiday even brighter because the more people with you on a holiday, the merrier it is.

Maybe my sons and I have been lucky in that we have never been rich and always struggled to make it, for it made us more aware of those around us that did not have or those that were alone. No matter where you are, there are elderly, poor, children and just plain adults…who will go to bed hungry. But, not only that…will go to bed feeling as if no one cares.

One must be poor to know the luxury of giving!  ~George Eliot

Giving is more than opening your wallet…it is opening your heart and giving of love and caring. When we lived back east, I used to deliver meals on Christmas and Thanksgiving day. And I would stop and visit with each person as I gave them their hot dinner. My reward for this gift was a dinner plate to take home but the biggest reward was seeing people smile who were home alone…shut in because they were sick and could not get out and seeing their smile at having someone come to their door. And as my health has declined, it has made me appreciate those who try now to make my world brighter even more. And I have been blessed with some very special angels who not only have brightened my life but brightened my home with their generousity.

Have you ever worked at a soup kitchen? When we lived on the other side of the mountain, I would volunteer to help. Yes, I was disabled but I would sit and peel potatoes, clean tables and whatever they needed me to do and then I would serve the desert table for them. There were people there who ranged from the homeless to those that were on fixed incomes or struggling that came in to eat. I served on Christmas Day, and loved every minute of it.  I could have sat at home and whined and cried because son was working and I was alone for the holidays…but I didn’t.  And when I came home and son and I ate our dinner late that nite or even the next day, it made me appreciate it all that much more.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
Mother Teresa

I have heard people say they were not giving or helping this person or that because they thought they should be out with a job or they didn’t like how they did this or that. And it has always made me sad to hear comments like that. I remember teaching and I had a little girl who came to school literally in rags. I asked my sister, who had a daughter that age, for hand me downs and when that little girl opened that box, the look on her face was as if someone had handed me a box of money. My sister sent the most beautiful clothes for this little girl. She was so thrilled over those dresses and she would hold the skirt and swirl it around as if she were a princess. Some of the teachers said “she will just have them dirty in a couple of months” and my reply was that I didn’t care for the joy she felt right now was worth it. And besides that…why should I punish the child because the parents did not keep her clean?

Charity sees the need, not the cause.  ~German Proverb

Don’t wait to be asked for help. We are capable of looking and seeing when others are in need. I realize I am more of an anticipator than most but we actually are capable of seeing when another is in need…seeing when someone is doing without…seeing if someone is in trouble and needs help (like some of you did for my trip to Colorado Springs to have the heart cath done and you helped us be able to get there and  back.Look beyond the surface…look into the eyes and the hearts of others and then act.

He who gives when he is asked has waited too long.  ~Sunshine Magazine

Son still likes to tease me about ♫♫I see the light♫♫ when Jack sat on the control to my hospital bed and made both ends go up at once when I was sleeping…and I thought God had come to get me. But, the truth is…we all have a duty to spread the light…the light of love and giving. And in doing so, we can either be the one giving the light or the one that is reflecting the light of those giving. Sometimes we are the ones that pave the way and sometimes we are the ones that follow…both help.

There are two ways of spreading light – to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.  ~Edith Wharton, Vesalius in Zante

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if you can’t do great things and help a lot of people that you should do nothing. Mother Teresa said if you can’t help a hundred people….then help ONE.  Many people will fail to act…fail to do anything because they think only helping one or two is insignificant but it is not. Just think how many people would be helped if we each helped just one or two.

If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
Mother Teresa

Life is short and we need to do while we can. Love long and deeply, care about others, give that which we truly value..not what we no longer need and most of all, remember that as you pass through life, that much about you may not be remembered when you are gone but the what you do for others will carry on with them.

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.  ~William Penn

Hidden Bear With Snow Swimming Lambs

and the patio after son has already cleaned it off twice…and was juststarting to clean again.

and the polar bear and poor lambs from the nativity…they were sitting on blocks too..Son had to go on a hunt for the bear as he was totally covered up with snow. Son dug him out and let him blow up to make sure he was ok. He is still in the snow some.

Mornin Coffee and Amazing Snow

Coffee and a sweet roll anyone?  Oh yum. I had to go look at the snow first and then got my coffee to enjoy from this side of the window.   Oh yea!! I hear the snow plow.

First, from last nite. The wreath on our front door and the snow on the door glass. I love it.

And looking out our front door, last nite the steps were totally gone. The door was touching the snow. This morning, son had to push the door open because of the snow. He is going to try to shovel us a path and dig out the van today.

During the night and at first sun, Jack had to go potty twice…cause he would not go during the worse part of the storm. Son has shoveled a path from the door and a potty area three times. Here he is with snow back on the steps and down on his potty area..not too deep but still bothering him.Son piled it up on the fence to try to keep blowing snow from getting too deep on the potty area. Didn’t save the patio area though.

And this was my first view this morning when I got up. Poor son has to shovel again. This is standing at the side door..that son had all scraped and cleaned a path and then turn to left of picture and down to potty section (which does not show in pic).

Look hanging off our roof. OMG  I could not believe it.

And out my front door. Is it not beautiful.   I love it. My brick retainer wall has disappeared and the poor polar bear is under all this snow.

And Jack has decided that he likes the snow from this side of the window.  Poor baby…he is just too old and arthritic for the bitter col (16 degrees) and all this snow.

♫♫I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas♫♫  and looks like we got it.

♫♫Let There Be Peace On Earth♫♫ AND Love and Tolerance

I took the night-time pictures but wanted to share some music with you while I showed the pictures.

This is especially for Marg and Keisha

video by girardsag

Aunt Debbie Loves you princess.

I got a picture of the nativity all lit up.

Santa Claus is coming to town and I am ready for Him.

video by  SlyFets

Jacob singing to Santa. What precious love these children have.

video by Heidijmoore

A Christmas story…told beautifully.  And what better gift than love and to go and love everyone.

video by experiencejoy

 Christmas is a time of love and joy and peace on earth. I am thankful for children like Keisha in my life for they instill such joy and happiness and such total love.

video by claudettecolbert60

♫♫Christmas is A Coming♫♫…..And So Is A Snow Storm.

Christmas is a coming

the geese are getting fat

please to put a penny

in an old man’s hat

if you haven’t got a penny

a half a penny will do

if you haven’t got a half a penny

then may God bless you

video by xstchr

Today was the day to get the outside decorations up. While we were working on them, we learned that tomorrow a massive snow storm is due to hit and the report said 4-8 inches of snow with higher amounts of snow in Huerfano County and Pueblo.  Well, that is us, so we are about to be hit with a big storm and lots of snow. I love it.

video by DreamsILive

I will post pictures we take tonight later on, showing things lit up. Son put up our nativity with Joseph, Mary, Baby Jesus, a donkey and two lambs, large blow up Christmas balls on the tree, a polar bear that inflates with a Christmas hat on and one bush with lights on it.

We got the Christmas ball ornaments a few years ago and I love them. One year a lady showed up at the door and had one in her hand and wanted to know was it ours. Son, who always handles all that kind of stuff was behind me and I said the lady wanted to know had he lost his ball. I didn’t realize how that sounded at the time and son just about died. He says I can say things so naively and never even know what I have said.

I sat on a stool helping…of course you know I was a lot of help. LOL.  Here I am sitting on my stool and propping on my forearm crutches.

Son used the air compressor to inflate all the Christmas balls. I just love how they look in the tree.

And he set up the polar bear. He had to put bricks in the bottom of the polar bear to keep the wind from taking him off. I think he is so cute.

And I am saving the nativity to show later this evening when it is dark, cause it is so pretty lit up. He also put lights on the bush next to the bear.

And of course, Jack supervised from the door. Ha Ha

video by CookiesDen2 .

I Still Got The Moves…an Illuminating Night

Did you know that adrenalin can cause great things to happen and show us that under the power of adrenalin we can do things we thought were impossible. LOL  I am here to tell you that the last thing a person on oxygen wants to see in the dark is sparks near them.  And the reaction can be quite comical if it were not so scary.

I love my fleece blankets. They are the only covers that do not hurt me and sent to me by a dear friend. I knew that on some days when the weather was just right, static would occur and has in the past. Last nite, I was laying there with my little ear piece in my ear watching a tv show and pulled my covers to re-adjust them and heard “pop…pop…pop”  in the ear piece and saw sparks on the covers.

My first thought was omg the oxygen is going to get it. I threw the cover back in a rush of adrenalin and was on those forearm crutches beating a path fast as I could go past the end of the hospital bed when suddenly I felt this force snatch me back and I landed flat on my back with my arms still encased in the forearm crutches and my legs all waving in the air. I looked something like a turtle flipped on it’s back with it’s arms waving in the breeze.

It took me a few minutes to realize it was my oxygen hose, still on my face that snatched me back on the bed. I have come to realize those things can really stretch and have a lot of strength like a bungie cord. LOL  I felt like I was in a cartoon doing the impossible.

After I got my senses, I started giggling and all the commotion must have alerted son for he was standing at my door and saw me doing the “turtle dance” and giggling almost hysterically from release of adrenalin and asked me what I was doing now?  When I told him, he started laughing and then said “maybe that is number three”.

I learned that adrenalin can make me move faster than I ever have. I think I dove into the forearm crutches for I do not even remember putting them on my arms. I don’t know how long the whole thing lasted but it felt like only a few seconds.  Now I know how mothers have lifted cars off their children and other heroic feats. Too bad they can not channel it into a way to help disabled people do more. I also noticed that my pain level was down for a while after.

Meanwhile, I will take my fleece covers and throw them in the dryer with some dryer sheets to remove that static as I still don’t want sparks around my oxygen hose. And although the experience was “illuminating” to say the least, I feel really drained….must be the effects of using all that adrenalin and now it is gone.

Do Things Always Come In Threes And Has Anyone Seen My Oasis?

“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We’re afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire,   1880-1918

If you expect life to be simple and calm….don’t. I have learned that it is a roller coaster at times and sometimes you just have to hold on and pray. And if you get too tired, just lay down in the seat, for it will still zoom you along whether you want to go or not.

I am sitting here wondering if things always come in threes. I sure hope not because two in two days is enough. Last nite son fell on the ice and tore his knee open and banged it up pretty bad.  That was one. Now, he just hollers to me and says bring the medicine box. I go in the kitchen and he is leaning over the sink and blood is going everywhere and I look at his hand and the end of his thumb has a huge jagged place where a screw went into his thumb and came out and tore on the bottom side. Ugly let me tell you.  That is two. I really don’t want three. LOL  Good thing we have three medical boxes from son being a First Responder.

I looked outside today. First time in a while and the snow is still here. It has been bitter cold but sunny so I guess the snow will take a while melting.

This is the flat areas. We have piles still from where son shoveled and had to put the snow somewhere. Those will take a lot longer to melt. But I still love the snow. It is so beautiful to me.

According to the weather, we have cold and sunny for the next few days. So we will see if the sun melts this snow away. Good news is we have had a lot of snow and that is good for our water levels and the drought problems we have in the summers.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.

The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.     

Ayn Rand

Sometimes I lay in the dark and feel the cool breeze of the fan and close my eyes just for a while, weary from the battle. But I have always been a warrior and I have always fought when everyone else said give up and I continue to do so. I think perhaps I finally got that through to the Social Worker who is helping me convince the doctors that I can not make five trips up to Denver to do this, that I need it all put in one lump visit and that I need to wait until January so that financially I am a little better and physically I have recovered from the cath, the flu and the biopsy. My body is weary…my courage is not and I know what it takes for me to fight.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

  Dale Carnegie

When you think you can’t take another step, just know that you can. It might be hard. It may even be lonely or feel lonely, but you can.  The decision is…do you want to stop now and rest or do you want to keep fighting…and sometimes…you can do both. We all have within a warrior somewhere…and it will come out when you least expect.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

How To Use A Pain Scale Chart

I first was given a pain scale chart about fifteen years ago. I thought if you didn’t put a high number it meant you had no pain. I didn’t know how to read a pain scale chart and believe me when I tell you, that if you don’t follow it like it is intended….doctors will think you are faking. If you tell them on a pain scale chart that is 1-10 that your pain is a 30….the doctors will start disbelieving you have any pain.

I was fortunate some years ago to have a pain management doctor who gave me a chart similar to this one. He explained step by step but the chart also described what is meant by each number. It made it so much easier to tell them my real pain once I learned this chart. He was the doctor that was helping me with my disability claim.

This chart comes from  http://www.tipna.org/info/documents/ComparativePainScale.htm  and is typical of most detailed pain charts you see. Mayo Clinic Chronic Pain lists their pain scale like this:

0-1 No pain
2-3 Mild pain
4-5 Discomforting – moderate pain
6-7 Distressing – severe pain
8-9 Intense – very severe pain
10 Unbearable pain

According to Jack Harich….”One complaint about this scale is “Patients tend to use the middle words and thus distort the assessment.”   So, they made a more comprehensive scale so that patients truly understood what the pain scale meant. This scale helped me give my doctors a better analysis of my pain. It also helped me with my disability claim for I could accurately tell them my pain scale. This is very important if you want help managing your pain.My pain management doctor told me the pain scales were created to get an accurate view of a patient’s pain so that it could be treated and helped.

Here is the detailed pain scale:

The Comparative Pain Scale

By Jack Harich – July 14, 2002

I had to laugh the first time I read a comprehensive pain scale for I realized that my idea that a pain level of 5 was nothing or just ‘normal” pain was so far from the truth it was laughable. A pain level of 5 is :

Strong, deep, piercing pain, such as a sprained ankle when you stand on it wrong, or mild back pain. Not only do you notice the pain all the time, you are now so preoccupied with managing it that you normal lifestyle is curtailed. Temporary personality disorders are frequent.

That doesn’t sound like nothing, does it. You are so preoccupied with curtailing this pain of level 5 that your normal lifestyle is curtailed. I realized then that a pain level of five was significant.

I remember thinking that if I did not put a high number…no one would listen to me and the truth of the matter was….they were not listening because I was not showing the signs of someone suffering with pain levels of 7 and 8 at that time.  It was not until I had kidney surgery about three years ago that I realized just how close this scale runs to the truth. I had a pain level of an honest 8 after kidney surgery …..and that was with pain meds. I was in so much pain I could not eat, I could not sleep, I could barely walk..with help to the bathroom, I could not fix my food, nothing….and because of this I lost around 36 pounds in 30 days. That is how drastically that pain level affected me.

Now, my reason for posting this. If you want doctors to believe you…..truly follow the pain scale. Don’t base it on how much pain you can endure…base it on what it does to you physically…how it limits you….for that is what the doctors look at.  It may seem like your pain is just going through the roof…but if it does not limit you, or does not affect you in the ways the chart says, then look at the different levels and see what does.

I have learned to judge my pain level well…after years of chronic pain that has debilitated me. But, the first few years, I went through hell because I did not know how to talk to the doctors and make them understand. I did not know how to use a pain scale accurately and have it show that I indeed was being affected by my pain. And I did not realize that a pain level of five and six are high pains and not anything to take lightly. Therefore, they were not treating my pain like they should.

It is all in knowing the way the scale works and realizing that what we view as distressing pain is a five or six…and that these numbers do show high pain. So, try looking at the chart and rating your pain sometime by the description. We don’t get points for being able to tolerate the pain unfortunately….it is all based on what it does to us. What debilitated me may not be what debilitated you and doctors look at that. And they are keenly observant and notice things that give signs of distress.

Don’t let your pain rule you. Learn how to talk about your pain and what to tell your doctor it is doing…not just a number…but the words…so that they hear you and believe you.

My Son’s book on alternative things to do for pain. I am so proud of him. He is my caretaker. He and Dr. Sherry E. Showalter joined forces to try to help those with pain. He writes under the name “John Argent” and is now working on a crime novel. The pain book is on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/CHRONIC-PAIN-Living-Chronic-Easier/dp/1478304596/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355098179&sr=1-10&keywords=Chronic+Pain%3A+Hand+in+Hand

 

Plans going Awry

Well, I tried to get Denver doctors to let me come the first week in January instead of the 29th of December. Not that much difference was my thought. But, they don’t want me to do that. I told them I needed the time for financial reasons and they said they really needed me there then. I feel really down. Been working on this today and got the answer earlier.

So, they wanted me to talk to someone who helps find places for people to stay when they have to come up there and are on disability like me. Well, the problem is…we have a dog..and staying in a McDonald’s House or something like that is not feasible for they don’t allow dogs. Remember, we were the menagerie last time.

I felt so down about all this, on top of not exactly feeling up to par…so just did not call the woman back. I figure maybe a good nite’s sleep will make things look better. Maybe a nite of  “pretending” it does not exist will give me the added umph to tackle it again tomorrow.

Part is I went for a biopsy on my back shoulder yesterday and am feeling achy from that too and when you don’t feel good, nothing seems good. So, am gonna find my Laverne and Shirley dvd and turn it on and lay here.