Eleven Hints For Life

These are not my words but I loved them when I read them. Thought they were good with the holiday season on and reminders that life does not always work perfectly.

“Eleven Hints for Life”

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

- Unknown

 

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

- Unknown

 

 

No Matter Where You Live

No matter where you live, someone will go to bed hungry tonight and will go to bed hungry Christmas Eve. No matter where you live, someone is homeless and the shocking statistic to me is that about a third of the homeless population is our veterans.  Our men mostly and women who have fought for our freedom…homeless.

For these people, the hourglass has all run to the bottom…but we can be the one that turns it over for them.

No matter where you live, there are children who are having no Christmas, going to bed hungry nightly and will wake up Christmas Day just like any other day for them and feeling like no one cares, while we are ripping through gift paper and eating big Christmas dinners. That is a stark contrast to me.

I imagine you are sitting here reading this thinking…oh great, she is going to tell us we should not have any Christmas. No, I am not. What is going through my mind is the appreciation I feel for all that I have been blessed with and a realization that we easily have become a greedy nation.  I think we have lost the true meaning of giving.

“To truly give, you have to give up something. It may be money. It may be time. It may be a possession. It may mean doing something you would never dream of normally doing. It is not always easy. I always tell them that giving away a toy that they never play with and no longer care about is not full and true giving because there is no sacrifice. It is too easy.“  Shane Bridges

I had never thought of the true meaning of “giving” until my sons exemplified to me what it was and then I realized how giving up something I really valued was the ultimate giving…whether it was in time, money, or possessions.

I watched my boys one year, give up half of their Christmas to help give three little boys a Christmas while their Mom was in treatment. I cried watching my young sons give so generously. They could have cleaned out what they no longer wanted but instead, they gave up half of the new they were getting for Christmas to kids who had none. They gave up half of what they had dreamed of and wanted so badly for months….to make other children happy. I was and still am so proud of my boys.

My piece of bread only belongs to me when I know that everyone else has a share, and that no one starves while I eat.  ~Leo Tolstoy

That is when we started sharing our home with others.  And thus the birth of the share your holidays with others was born for us. And son and I still share with others on holidays because we are  giving of our hearts and our love and sharing that with others. And you know what, the love is shared back. We are not just the givers….we are also the recipients. Having others share our holiday helps make our holiday even brighter because the more people with you on a holiday, the merrier it is.

Maybe my sons and I have been lucky in that we have never been rich and always struggled to make it, for it made us more aware of those around us that did not have or those that were alone. No matter where you are, there are elderly, poor, children and just plain adults…who will go to bed hungry. But, not only that…will go to bed feeling as if no one cares.

One must be poor to know the luxury of giving!  ~George Eliot

Giving is more than opening your wallet…it is opening your heart and giving of love and caring. When we lived back east, I used to deliver meals on Christmas and Thanksgiving day. And I would stop and visit with each person as I gave them their hot dinner. My reward for this gift was a dinner plate to take home but the biggest reward was seeing people smile who were home alone…shut in because they were sick and could not get out and seeing their smile at having someone come to their door. And as my health has declined, it has made me appreciate those who try now to make my world brighter even more. And I have been blessed with some very special angels who not only have brightened my life but brightened my home with their generousity.

Have you ever worked at a soup kitchen? When we lived on the other side of the mountain, I would volunteer to help. Yes, I was disabled but I would sit and peel potatoes, clean tables and whatever they needed me to do and then I would serve the desert table for them. There were people there who ranged from the homeless to those that were on fixed incomes or struggling that came in to eat. I served on Christmas Day, and loved every minute of it.  I could have sat at home and whined and cried because son was working and I was alone for the holidays…but I didn’t.  And when I came home and son and I ate our dinner late that nite or even the next day, it made me appreciate it all that much more.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
Mother Teresa

I have heard people say they were not giving or helping this person or that because they thought they should be out with a job or they didn’t like how they did this or that. And it has always made me sad to hear comments like that. I remember teaching and I had a little girl who came to school literally in rags. I asked my sister, who had a daughter that age, for hand me downs and when that little girl opened that box, the look on her face was as if someone had handed me a box of money. My sister sent the most beautiful clothes for this little girl. She was so thrilled over those dresses and she would hold the skirt and swirl it around as if she were a princess. Some of the teachers said “she will just have them dirty in a couple of months” and my reply was that I didn’t care for the joy she felt right now was worth it. And besides that…why should I punish the child because the parents did not keep her clean?

Charity sees the need, not the cause.  ~German Proverb

Don’t wait to be asked for help. We are capable of looking and seeing when others are in need. I realize I am more of an anticipator than most but we actually are capable of seeing when another is in need…seeing when someone is doing without…seeing if someone is in trouble and needs help (like some of you did for my trip to Colorado Springs to have the heart cath done and you helped us be able to get there and  back.Look beyond the surface…look into the eyes and the hearts of others and then act.

He who gives when he is asked has waited too long.  ~Sunshine Magazine

Son still likes to tease me about ♫♫I see the light♫♫ when Jack sat on the control to my hospital bed and made both ends go up at once when I was sleeping…and I thought God had come to get me. But, the truth is…we all have a duty to spread the light…the light of love and giving. And in doing so, we can either be the one giving the light or the one that is reflecting the light of those giving. Sometimes we are the ones that pave the way and sometimes we are the ones that follow…both help.

There are two ways of spreading light – to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.  ~Edith Wharton, Vesalius in Zante

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that if you can’t do great things and help a lot of people that you should do nothing. Mother Teresa said if you can’t help a hundred people….then help ONE.  Many people will fail to act…fail to do anything because they think only helping one or two is insignificant but it is not. Just think how many people would be helped if we each helped just one or two.

If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
Mother Teresa

Life is short and we need to do while we can. Love long and deeply, care about others, give that which we truly value..not what we no longer need and most of all, remember that as you pass through life, that much about you may not be remembered when you are gone but the what you do for others will carry on with them.

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.  ~William Penn

Heroes Across the Ocean

Please Remember our men and women who are overseas right now, living in conditions that none of us would want to live in..they deserve our support and praise and our love and remembrance this time of year.

video by LaLeroux

When you want to complain about your rights, please for a moment, remember these men and women….our military…for without them…you would not have rights.

A Letter to Soldiers

video by bookhound63

Their dream is for peace. Shouldn’t we be helping make that peace by creating more peace here at home?

♫♫ He Fought The Drill and the Drill Won♫♫

We changed son’s bandage today now that the bleeding is under control. I had to laugh cause he looked at me and said “is orange all we have for the covering??? And with smilie faces no less”  but it was all I had of that sticky wrap that holds your bandage in place. It looks so big cause we padded it so that if he bumped it, it would not hurt so bad. And we had to go around his wrist to keep it from sliding off. The screw went in the top by the nail and out the bottom and then ripped the flesh pulling out the side.  It makes me cringe cause it looks so bad.

So, after I finished bandaging his thumb, I looked at him and started singing   ♫♫ you fought the drill and the drill won ♫♫.  He just looked at me and said “you are getting me back for singing  ♫♫ I’ve seen the light” ♫♫ when Jack raised the hospital bed on you and you thought God had come to get you…aren’t ya”. I had to laugh. Good thing we have sense of humors alike.

Do Things Always Come In Threes And Has Anyone Seen My Oasis?

“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We’re afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire,   1880-1918

If you expect life to be simple and calm….don’t. I have learned that it is a roller coaster at times and sometimes you just have to hold on and pray. And if you get too tired, just lay down in the seat, for it will still zoom you along whether you want to go or not.

I am sitting here wondering if things always come in threes. I sure hope not because two in two days is enough. Last nite son fell on the ice and tore his knee open and banged it up pretty bad.  That was one. Now, he just hollers to me and says bring the medicine box. I go in the kitchen and he is leaning over the sink and blood is going everywhere and I look at his hand and the end of his thumb has a huge jagged place where a screw went into his thumb and came out and tore on the bottom side. Ugly let me tell you.  That is two. I really don’t want three. LOL  Good thing we have three medical boxes from son being a First Responder.

I looked outside today. First time in a while and the snow is still here. It has been bitter cold but sunny so I guess the snow will take a while melting.

This is the flat areas. We have piles still from where son shoveled and had to put the snow somewhere. Those will take a lot longer to melt. But I still love the snow. It is so beautiful to me.

According to the weather, we have cold and sunny for the next few days. So we will see if the sun melts this snow away. Good news is we have had a lot of snow and that is good for our water levels and the drought problems we have in the summers.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.

The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.     

Ayn Rand

Sometimes I lay in the dark and feel the cool breeze of the fan and close my eyes just for a while, weary from the battle. But I have always been a warrior and I have always fought when everyone else said give up and I continue to do so. I think perhaps I finally got that through to the Social Worker who is helping me convince the doctors that I can not make five trips up to Denver to do this, that I need it all put in one lump visit and that I need to wait until January so that financially I am a little better and physically I have recovered from the cath, the flu and the biopsy. My body is weary…my courage is not and I know what it takes for me to fight.

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

  Dale Carnegie

When you think you can’t take another step, just know that you can. It might be hard. It may even be lonely or feel lonely, but you can.  The decision is…do you want to stop now and rest or do you want to keep fighting…and sometimes…you can do both. We all have within a warrior somewhere…and it will come out when you least expect.

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

How To Use A Pain Scale Chart

I first was given a pain scale chart about fifteen years ago. I thought if you didn’t put a high number it meant you had no pain. I didn’t know how to read a pain scale chart and believe me when I tell you, that if you don’t follow it like it is intended….doctors will think you are faking. If you tell them on a pain scale chart that is 1-10 that your pain is a 30….the doctors will start disbelieving you have any pain.

I was fortunate some years ago to have a pain management doctor who gave me a chart similar to this one. He explained step by step but the chart also described what is meant by each number. It made it so much easier to tell them my real pain once I learned this chart. He was the doctor that was helping me with my disability claim.

This chart comes from  http://www.tipna.org/info/documents/ComparativePainScale.htm  and is typical of most detailed pain charts you see. Mayo Clinic Chronic Pain lists their pain scale like this:

0-1 No pain
2-3 Mild pain
4-5 Discomforting – moderate pain
6-7 Distressing – severe pain
8-9 Intense – very severe pain
10 Unbearable pain

According to Jack Harich….”One complaint about this scale is “Patients tend to use the middle words and thus distort the assessment.”   So, they made a more comprehensive scale so that patients truly understood what the pain scale meant. This scale helped me give my doctors a better analysis of my pain. It also helped me with my disability claim for I could accurately tell them my pain scale. This is very important if you want help managing your pain.My pain management doctor told me the pain scales were created to get an accurate view of a patient’s pain so that it could be treated and helped.

Here is the detailed pain scale:

The Comparative Pain Scale

By Jack Harich – July 14, 2002

I had to laugh the first time I read a comprehensive pain scale for I realized that my idea that a pain level of 5 was nothing or just ‘normal” pain was so far from the truth it was laughable. A pain level of 5 is :

Strong, deep, piercing pain, such as a sprained ankle when you stand on it wrong, or mild back pain. Not only do you notice the pain all the time, you are now so preoccupied with managing it that you normal lifestyle is curtailed. Temporary personality disorders are frequent.

That doesn’t sound like nothing, does it. You are so preoccupied with curtailing this pain of level 5 that your normal lifestyle is curtailed. I realized then that a pain level of five was significant.

I remember thinking that if I did not put a high number…no one would listen to me and the truth of the matter was….they were not listening because I was not showing the signs of someone suffering with pain levels of 7 and 8 at that time.  It was not until I had kidney surgery about three years ago that I realized just how close this scale runs to the truth. I had a pain level of an honest 8 after kidney surgery …..and that was with pain meds. I was in so much pain I could not eat, I could not sleep, I could barely walk..with help to the bathroom, I could not fix my food, nothing….and because of this I lost around 36 pounds in 30 days. That is how drastically that pain level affected me.

Now, my reason for posting this. If you want doctors to believe you…..truly follow the pain scale. Don’t base it on how much pain you can endure…base it on what it does to you physically…how it limits you….for that is what the doctors look at.  It may seem like your pain is just going through the roof…but if it does not limit you, or does not affect you in the ways the chart says, then look at the different levels and see what does.

I have learned to judge my pain level well…after years of chronic pain that has debilitated me. But, the first few years, I went through hell because I did not know how to talk to the doctors and make them understand. I did not know how to use a pain scale accurately and have it show that I indeed was being affected by my pain. And I did not realize that a pain level of five and six are high pains and not anything to take lightly. Therefore, they were not treating my pain like they should.

It is all in knowing the way the scale works and realizing that what we view as distressing pain is a five or six…and that these numbers do show high pain. So, try looking at the chart and rating your pain sometime by the description. We don’t get points for being able to tolerate the pain unfortunately….it is all based on what it does to us. What debilitated me may not be what debilitated you and doctors look at that. And they are keenly observant and notice things that give signs of distress.

Don’t let your pain rule you. Learn how to talk about your pain and what to tell your doctor it is doing…not just a number…but the words…so that they hear you and believe you.

My Son’s book on alternative things to do for pain. I am so proud of him. He is my caretaker. He and Dr. Sherry E. Showalter joined forces to try to help those with pain. He writes under the name “John Argent” and is now working on a crime novel. The pain book is on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/CHRONIC-PAIN-Living-Chronic-Easier/dp/1478304596/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355098179&sr=1-10&keywords=Chronic+Pain%3A+Hand+in+Hand

 

Plans going Awry

Well, I tried to get Denver doctors to let me come the first week in January instead of the 29th of December. Not that much difference was my thought. But, they don’t want me to do that. I told them I needed the time for financial reasons and they said they really needed me there then. I feel really down. Been working on this today and got the answer earlier.

So, they wanted me to talk to someone who helps find places for people to stay when they have to come up there and are on disability like me. Well, the problem is…we have a dog..and staying in a McDonald’s House or something like that is not feasible for they don’t allow dogs. Remember, we were the menagerie last time.

I felt so down about all this, on top of not exactly feeling up to par…so just did not call the woman back. I figure maybe a good nite’s sleep will make things look better. Maybe a nite of  “pretending” it does not exist will give me the added umph to tackle it again tomorrow.

Part is I went for a biopsy on my back shoulder yesterday and am feeling achy from that too and when you don’t feel good, nothing seems good. So, am gonna find my Laverne and Shirley dvd and turn it on and lay here.

I Am So Blessed

Today has been one of those struggling days. Not feeling the best, still on shaky ground from the flu stuff that evidentially is hard to get over.  And yet, people have blessed me beyond words. It isn’t just that people send me gifts, it is they send me things with my health in mind. It shows they really stop to think about me and to find something that will really help me heal.

I received a couple of packages today. A friend sent me this angel with moldavite crystal on it. Moldavite is supposed to have healing qualities. It is so pretty and I cried when I opened it.  Some have sent me things for healing and it always touches me in a way I can not explain.

Another friend sent me a box with several things in it, but for healing, there was Holy Water, blessed at the shrine where the Blessed Katrina is and little saint plaques like the one blow. Also, the stone heart was blessed. I am so touched that my health and my healing are important to people. It brings tears even now.

With all the medical, Christmas is a little tight for us, but it is not upsetting us. Son and I are just so thankful to have our home and our family and family of choice. What more could we want for Christmas?  Well, seems Mama wanted to make sure we had Christmas dinner, so a box arrived today with a spiral ham, a green bean casserole  and a sweet potato casserole all frozen and ready to go in the oven Christmas day. Plus, two bags of bean soup mix to use with the ham leftovers.

And then to top it off, son loves my braids. I love my hair long but it is so hard to take care of. So, I had the top and sides layered and am taking the part around my neck..and letting it grow long. I can keep it braided when I don’t feel like fooling with it, or leave it down when I want long long hair. So, son brought me out two feather extension things to put on my braids. He said he was going to put it under the tree but just wanted to give it to me today.

Now, how can I not feel blessed.   God is good all the time and I have terrific people who love me and who want to see me get through all the surgeries and stuff. So many of you are praying for me daily and let me know and that means so much to me. I believe in prayer. Thank you all…for your prayers and your love and your thoughts of and gifts for healing.

All I can say is that operating room is going to get mighty crowded cause I will be carrying all of you with me in there. And they better know that I am going to be asking to have my family bracelet, stone heart, crooked cross, moldavite angel  and all  with me.Those doctors just better move over because with all of you, all the prayers and all the healing things….it is gonna be a tight fit.

The greatest thing you can give someone….is love and caring.

A Jam Packed Day

Today has been a long and hard day. It was Doctor time in Pueblo. I think I am married to them I spend so much time with them. Things went better this time than with the ugly doctor I had three months ago in Colorado Springs. And if this test comes back ok, I will be able to wait longer between visits. Oh I am so excited at that possibility. Not that I dislike this doctor for he is such a caring and compassionate doctor. I am just sick of doctors.

Tomorrow I have another appointment to have a biopsy on my back. Then I have a call telling me my cardiologist needs to reschedule us and am waiting on Denver to call. My prayerful dream is that 2012 is a year with a lot less doctor visits and hospital visits.

While we were in Pueblo, we decided we needed to pick up a few supplies and get my medicine so that we are ready if the snows hit us. That meant going to Walmart and then to Home depot to get an insulation sheet and into office max to pick up a part. So, it turned into an all day event.

We got home and both of us AND Jack were whipped and everyone went to their respective rooms and went to bed. Oh, the joys of having that pot of soup already made up. We just microwaved a bowl for supper and now everyone has full tummies and probably will hit the sack early.

My other son sent me a picture of my grand baby. Sweetpea was six the last time I saw her. She is now almost a teenager and is beautiful. She rides horses and competes in the rodeos. I am so proud of her and of my son and his wife. They have made the horse fun a family event and spent a lot of time together going to the rodeos and out to the stables to let her practice. I ask my son how he is feeling and he always says  “oh I am fine Mama”.  He doesn’t realize that a mama hears the tiredness in his voice and knows that he pushes himself to keep doing. You know how us mama’s are.

We are going to make more cookies. Mama makes us peppermint bark every year. I want to send her some crescents and jelly cookies and I want to make some sugar cookies for a very special person who loves them.

I am so excited. We evidentially got into the program of the governor’s called weatherization to help disabled people get their homes weatherized for the winter and summers. Son and I ran the last of the papers to them today while in Pueblo. I did not want to risk putting it in the mail when the deadline is tomorrow. We don’t know what it means for us but they do things like storm windows, insulation, storm doors, replace out of date furnaces, etc. We would be happy with anything they chose to do.

Oh, evidentially it was NOT food poisoning we had for we found out the neighbors had this same ugly flu-like bug and were sick for days like we were. They said it was horrible and son said “you are not telling us anything we don’t know”.  So, maybe one day, I will eat at the Chinese place again. LOL  The neighbors said it was going around all over town. I think I will hunt up my face mask. Maybe that will protect me. But of course, I go to the sickest places around….doctor’s offices and hospitals so no wonder I ended up sick.

Son filled up my bird feeders and hung them out. This one bird just sat on the feeder, not eating when I saw it, almost like he was guarding it. Directly a second bird showed up. It won’t be long before they will discover the feeder and we will have them fighting over the food, especially with this cold weather.

And now, this weary lady is going to head to bed. The weather looks bad outside, snow is predicted and I am ready to snuggle deep in my fleecy covers and sleep ….sleep ….sleep.  .

A Scare and A Spiritual Journey

Oh home, home, home and so glad to be here. Everything is winter wonderland outside and beautiful. I love the snow. It is like nature’s make up and hides all the blemishes and all the world looks beautiful.

Last nite, we had a wee scare. Wee Hello dolly, was a huge scare. The pressure bandage showed some signs of leakage and being an artery that is scary but thanks to some added pressure there, it once again stopped. It is amazing how many things you do that pull that area on the side of your stomach. Just sitting up pulls there, trips to the bathroom pull there and oh goodness ….leaning over pulls there. And, it is so easy to lean over  without thinking. I go to get my socks or slipper and don’t even realize I have “leaned over”.

I lay here last nite thinking what a spiritual journey this has been. It started with a CTA scan that said two places of significant blockage and ended with me coming home with NO stents. Oh, I am thanking my Creator and Lord big time.

It was a journey that led me through many prayers and a trip to the grotto here on the side of the road. A journey where son placed my statue of Blessed Kateri there and I prayed to our Creator and Lord for healing as people claim to have received healing there.

This is me offering sage to the Lord and offering up my prayers for healing.

It became a significant  journey with Mama coming to be with me for a week. And she got to go with me for the CTA. What comfort that was to have Mama here and while she was here, we took her to the grotto where she left an item for prayer.

And the journey continued on with a dear friend calling me filled with such awe and excitement for she was visiting out on Sante Fe and said she was wandering around and church bells lead her to this church. Oh, the description of the statues she gave me as she entered that church yard blew her away. For, first was St. Francis, that she has seen in my yard and second was a Native American called …………..and before she could say the name I was shouting  “Kateri!  Kateri!” as I excitedly told her that was the statue son took to the grotto that day and placed up in the rocks for me. What excited chatter followed from both of us. She told me she felt such prayerful power coming from there and went inside that church and lit candles and got Holy Water to send me for she felt healing there.

During this time I think the cell phones were dinging off the hook as pictures and comments flowed back and forth and the spiritual connection was felt deeply as she lit candles for me.

And the journey continued with gifts pouring in with things like my native American family bracelet that was blessed, and the glass heart sent and filled with love, the crooked cross, the medallion of Mary and other items that were filled with blessings and spiritual meaning to me and the senders.

and continued on with a son who filled the house with Christmas because he was afraid I would feel too bad to do it and enjoy it. (and he was right)

And a special Thanksgiving given to us by Sassy and BOS…what a memory in the making. Son did not realize but I did that this was to give son something to hang on to in case something happened to me. Oh and what a glorious day that was.

And the days passed so slowly and yet so quickly with me sitting and looking out the door at the sunrise wondering how many more I was going to see. And it became a ritual of getting myself geared up to be in top warrior mode and be ready for all of this that was coming and still is.

And through it all, the one thing I was so blessed with was family/family of choice/friends who loved me, supported me and were there with prayers and love and even goodies like biscotti and coffee and cards. You will never know how much you touched my heart with it all.

So, I say:

And so, it became time for this warrior to don her headband and get that mojo in gear for the fight. I have to be able to fight to make it through these things. Believe it or not, because of health issues and chronic pain, going for a cat scan puts me down in bed for about three days with high pain and flu like feelings, so you can imagine what this will do to me. And so, I started getting into warrior gear.

Those of you that know me, know what this headband means. Sassy went looking all over the internet to replace my headband when it broke because she realized the significance and knew it was like Samson’s hair for me and when I broke my old one, I cried and cried. When I wear this headband…for newcomers…it means I am fighting hard..because of pain or whatever physical I am about to have to endure. Another friend, sent me this wonder woman doll because she said it made her think of me.

And the journey continued with some of you donating money to help with this trip and Sassy and Bos getting us a motel room for two nights. Oh I do not think I could have made it without that motel. I was in so much pain from the trip up that I was up all night trying to get eased off. I am still blown away by your love, care, compassion and generosity. This trip was rough but it was so much easier thanks to all of YOU!!

Just remember…it is what you THINK you can do that matters. It does not matter how you look to others but what you feel you look like and how strong you THINK you are that matters.

So, whatever you do that you are afraid of, do it with swagga as a friend of mine says. Do it with courage and strength and carry the strength of the Creator and Lord with you for He is all you need.

When we drove into CO Springs, I saw this in the sky. If you can’t see it…it is Angels…and I knew then I would be ok. Which helped me to go into the hospital with a calmness.

The journey continues on to the motel and us Dr. Doolittles and the menagerie unloaded.

And our journey led us to the hospital and here I am, ready to be hooked up to all the monitors and stuff and get on my hospital gown.

Son was with me and then ran back to the motel to check on Jack because he thought he had almost two hours before they would take me and they came in and zoomed me out over an hour early. Talk about scary. The great thing was they let me keep my Native American family bracelet on and carry in my hand the stone heart all through the procedure.

So, now you have walked the jist of the journey with me and I am sure are saying…well????? What happened.  Well the journey ended with this:

THUMBS UP!!!

I had to ask son why I had a pillow on my chest and he said they had my arms propped up on it so that I did not have my hands near where he was putting the tube in the artery. Makes sense to me. But, the greatest joy and I believe in the power of prayer and miracles, is that the doctor was all but dancing around the procedure room as he told me he could not believe it…that the CTA showed two areas with significant blockage and when he got in there, he did not find significant blockage anywhere. He found some blockage but nothing to worry about. Son said he called him as he was driving back and he said he had never heard the doctor sound so excited as he told him the same thing. So, whether you believe in angels, miracles or prayer like me…something happened and this test came out wonderful and all I can say is THANK YOU LORD!!.

video by rebel072162

We drove home in a snow storm and got home to see winter wonderland at our house. It was a scary ride and I just learned friends were planning in the background what they would do should we get stranded and how to get us to another motel. Amazing folks you all are.

This is what it looked like driving in the snow and it got worse and you could not see the vehicle in front of you. But Colorado is great on having the snow plows out and working.

And now, I will rest and get over this and prepare for the kidney surgery for which the cardiologist gave his ok for and said for them to go ahead and set it up. Denver wanted me here Monday for the consult:

Urologic Oncology, University of Colorado Hospital

but there is no way. I told them I could not be there Monday. I have to get over this and right now I can barely make it to the bathroom. And then, once this surgery is done, my hope….my prayer…..my dream is that I am done for a while.   And I can lay here and stare at all the beautiful sunrises and sunsets I want.