Many people have asked me how I keep going in spite of the things I have endured and my reply is always that I am a survivor. There are many things that factor into survival and how a person survives. Survival is a never-ending novel for all of us. Survival is:
“The story of success and failure.”
It is not that we need friends/family or loved ones. It is that these things give value to our surviving. These very things help us along the way to hold on to that inner tube that we cling to when we feel like we are drowning. Surviving hard things without loved ones can be done but it sure is a lonely hard way to do it.
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (for God did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
I hear people say “are you not afraid?” Of course I am afraid. But, each time I have gone through something like this, I realize that I can make it a little more. Survival is not the rainbows of life, but the thunderstorms that make those rainbows so beautiful.
“You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”
People have told me “Oh I could not handle this. I could not do it.” The truth of the matter is….yes you can. Until we are facing the fire, we don’t know what we can do. Mothers have lifted vehicles off their child to save them. All sorts of heroic things happen under the battle of life. And everyone has a little hero in them.
“You’d be surprised what you’re capable of doing when you have no other choice.”
~ Melinda Shiraki~
I have learned to use laughter a lot. It helps me carry on instead of letting the fear take over. I remember a time when my “adopted” daughter’s father was in the hospital dying. And it was such a hard time. We got on the elevator to go down after spending hours in the intensive care unit. When we got on, both of us felt really low. Two people were on the elevator and one pushed the lobby for us. The elevator stopped between floors. The woman started pushing all the buttons and the man said the elevator was acting up. I am claustrophobic and was frantically trying to tear open the doors. Finally the elevator decided to go back up to the floor we were on and I was off that thing like greased lightning. When I looked back, my adopted daughter looked like someone doing ballet leaps trying to get off. After she got off, she told me “did you hear that crazy lady on the elevator as we were getting off. She was telling people they didn’t want to get on that elevator…that it took you places you did not want to go and would not let you off”. I looked at her and started laughing. I said “honey, that crazy lady was me.” And we both started laughing til we cried. Humor helps when we think we will never laugh again.
“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”
Sometimes we just have to “pretend” everything is ok..just for a little while so that we can regroup and gear up and find our inner core to battle. That is what I did today. I tried to maintain normal just to give me a little peace
“As we do at such times I turned on my automatic pilot and went through the motions of normalcy on the outside, so that I could concentrate all my powers on surviving the near-mortal wound inside.”
When things happen, like today for me, we realize that we are not in control and that terrifies us even more. And so, we have to find a way to adapt to the situation so that we can handle it. We learn to adapt. And then we can fight the battle and keep on surviving.
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”
I am a positive person. I look for something to hold my faith on. I am not a Pollyanna in the sense that I think the world will always be wonderful and fine and no one will die or be hurt. I am in the sense that I cling to the one that keeps me going…HOPE. My faith and my heart hold tight to that and keep me focused on the positive. It is easy to see all the things that could go wrong or that are negative but when we start counting off the good things and the positive….it can change our very situation just by giving us the tool to keep fighting.
“Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope”
And it is our loved ones…our family/friends/family of choice that help keep that hope alive for us. I am so thankful for all of you. Sometimes we give to help others..from our hearts, our minds, our purses…and sometimes they give to us..but it is all part of the never-ending novel called Survival.
Each time someone stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope.
Robert F. Kennedy
- Comfort foods
- Dreams for the future
- Eating Out
- Etta James
- Female Impersonators
- heart center
- helping others
- New Year's Resolution
- Protection from fraud
- Rocky Mountains
- US Military