MIRACLE OR HEALING TIME?
Being told that someone you love is terminal is a one of the hardest blows life can give us. I think we are so overcome with the shock that we don’t know what to do. Praying is the first thing that comes to mind and pray we do. And of course…we all pray for that miracle….the ones that says please cure them now.
I recently read an article by an evangelist named Todd Bently. He wrote about miracles and healing time. I have never given much thought to this until lately. And, after reading his article, I came to the conclusion that sometimes we miss the healing time while searching for the miracle of a total healing.
We all know what a miracle is…it is something that happens instantly and fixes whatever is wrong. I pray for this to happen all the time….for this person or that to be totally cured from whatever ailment they may have and cured instantly. I am sure we all have prayed this and we all have wondered why sometimes our prayers were not answered. The truth of the matter is…they are answered. Just sometimes we don’t get the answer we want. Sometimes the loved one is taken home…to heaven and healed that way. And sometimes, we are given extra time with our loved one….healing time.
I truly believe that sometimes we tend to look only for the miracle cure and by focusing so hard on the miracle cure, we lose the daily healing and extra days that only God can send. We lose precious time that we are letting slip through our fingers. Sometimes the miracle is in having a longer time with our loved one…even though they are not totally cured. Sometimes the miracle is in the gift of more minutes, hours, days, months or even years to spend with our loved one to make memories that we can hold on to when they are gone.
I read a story about a woman who prayed for a miracle for her husband. She prayed her husband would be made well totally and when this did not happen, she become despondent and discouraged and gave up. She saw nothing but gloom and despair. And, by doing this, she no longer saw each day that the Lord gave her with her husband. All her energy had been for the miracle of a complete cure and she had none for the healing time. And therefore, the time….the healing time..that she might have had with her husband was for naught. She gave up and by doing so….it caused him to give up. She missed out on the joy of the months he was given that the doctors did not anticipate. She lost them because she was so obsorbed in getting that miracle cure.
Mr. Bently explained in his article that “healing” is a time thing. He went on to say that not everyone gets the miracle of a complete cure, but people get healing time…..they get more days, months and sometimes years than was anticipated. Let me tell of a personal experience…someone I loved had brain cancer. It was a death sentence at that time. They went through all the treatments, surgeries and everyone prayed for the miracle. The miracle was in the healing time. They lived two more years past what doctors thought he would when he was diagnosed. And that was a time that everyone was able to have with this person that they might not have had. Fortunately, those around him realized what gift it was even though the prayer for a miracle of a complete cure did not happen.
The hard part is when a person has obsessed so hard on the miracle of a complete cure and then they feel let down when they don’t get it….that they lose the miracle of the healing time. They are too angry that the prayer did not give their loved one a complete cure and so they miss all those extra days, months or years the prayers did give them with their loved one. They become so bitter that they can’t see that their loved one is still there with them for those extra days.
We all pray for miracles and healing. Knowing that sometimes our miracle may come in more time does not mean we don’t want the miracle of a complete cure. It means that we see that sometimes the miracle is not always what we want. That is all. It is not a lack of faith that God won’t send us a miracle. It is accepting that whichever one he sends us….we will know that both are miracles of their own kind. And we will spend the healing time having more days to love our loved one and to be with them. Days of the angels holding them up and giving them healing to last a little longer.
What joy it gives me to be able to do some of the most simple things. Today I made my grandmother’s rice pudding again. It is so easy and so many have asked me for the recipe, so I will put it under the picture.
Mimi’s Rice Pudding
2 cups cooked rice
1/2 stick butter or margarine
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups milk
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
Grease casserole dish. In a large mixing bowl, melt your margarine/butter first. Then add sugar, milk vanilla and salt. Taste to see if sweet enough for you and if not add a little more sugar. Beat the 3 eggs in another bowl and then pour into the milk mixture and mix well. Add the rice and again mix well. Pour into casserole dish and sprinkle with nutmeg on top. Bake at 350 degrees for an hour or until the knife comes out smooth and clean.
Just be ready for the house to be filled with a wonderful aroma.
I woke up this morning and Jack and I did our morning walk in the back yard checking out the veggies. Jack cracks me up. He has to smell all the flowers. This picture he is smelling the butterfly bush.
I brought in yellow squash and tomatoes. Sure am enjoying the tomato sandwiches. While I was out there, I was taking pictures of the clouds again. That has become a project of mine now and I love it and I love the excitement you all seem to show over the pictures.
Then I worked on a sister blog for this one and am going to all the dream pictures on it and nothing but dream pictures. I will still put some on here but will have the link on this page so if anyone wants to see the other pictures.
I love this one. The person looks like they are sitting on a chair or stool. This was so far away that I did not see it until I zoomed in on the pictures checking each one.
I love this quote and this block means the world to me. Sometimes we hold back on our dreams because we figure they will not happen anyway, so why bother. Sometimes, we figure they will take too long and we are not willing to put in the effort. But, I look at it this way…I might stumble and I might fall and may end up with scabs on my knees but if I have to crawl on those knees to finish my dream I will.
I do believe in heaven. I do believe that our loved ones are right there with only a small distance separating us. And I do believe that when I see these shapes in the clouds, that heaven has opened just a tiny bit so that they can see us and know we are alright.
This one above is so awesome for I see two faces but the front one is the most distinct. The black is to the back of the person’s head and the other face is down lower and to the front of the profile. It is a profile picture.
Hope you enjoyed. I get so caught up with these clouds that I could spend hours going through them.
“You never know how strong you are…
until being strong is the only choice you have”
Have been spending the past few days recuperating from my journey out to see the cabaret. I so enjoyed myself but yes I pay for it. Someone asked me “so you have to decide when you want to do something, if the pain will be worth it”. My response was yes. But, you know…every day we make choices on what we want to do and how much we are willing to invest of ourselves. Sometimes we give it all and sometimes we don’t.
I realized that when the crunch is on, my strength grows and I do what I have to do to get the job done. All this with moving, packing, coming over the mountains, living in the motel for seven seeks, in this house while repairing, etc that I ran on full steam to keep going. But there was no choice. I could not lay back and say let someone else do it. Son and I are the only ones we have out here to take care of these things.
Oh I am so excited. Son put shelves in that over the stove cabinet that is always such a waste of space. You know…the spice one where you have all this space above that nothing can go in so you just sort throw all the stuff up there and pray it does not fall out on you each time you open the cabinet.
Above on the right side shows what it looked like before the shelves and below is with both shelves done. Son did such a great job.
It is funny how simple things can bring such joy. This morning my son made something I used to make them when they were little. It is called “old men with hats on”. You take a piece of white bread, cut out the center with a biscuit cutter, butter both sides and lay in the skillet. Butter the circle you cut out on both sides and put in skilled too. Then crack an egg in each piece of bread. Cook the eggs like normal and flip over so that it cooks on both sides. Then put on plate with the circle on top of the yoke. And old man with his hat on. I often wondered if my boys remember things I did when they were little and son just showed me out of the blue that he did.
Yes yes, those are my bites out of the right one. It was good and evoked many wonderful memories. I was a single mom and enjoyed my boys so much. We were poor but there was a lot of love in our house.
This morning I thought I would try the elastic exercise bands I unpacked. You know, the kind with the handles on each end. I thought..hmmm this would be a great way to stretch my leg muscles and help these tight muscles. Well, being so stiff and stove up, I could not reach my foot. So bright me decided to crank up both ends of the hospital bed until I could reach my foot. Things were going well until I decided I needed to let the bed back down. I did capture a picture before all the fun began.
And then the fun began. Brightness here decided that two feet in there instead of one would make the exercise even better. Oh my. Suddenly I found myself feeling like I was holding a run away mule in my hands as I rolled all over the bed, looking something like a cross between the “I’ve fallen and can’t get up commercial, the “where’s the beef woman” and a granny trying to jump rope laying on her back and got hung.
And I could not let go as I was afraid the dang thing would snap back and slap me in the face and I could not get my knees to unlock. Finally, I got brave and let go of both handles at once and it flew across the room and hit the wall between me and the living room making a resounding thump. I quickly threw the rest of them after it. Son came to the door and said “you ok?” I smiled sweetly and said ”sure son. I just found the exercise straps and thought you might want them so threw them at the door for you.” He picked them up and walked out and I buried my face in my pillow and laughed.
And now, the most awesome video that shows I am not the only one that sees the faces in the sky. A friend sent me this and said she thought I would want to see it. You will have to copy it and paste into your address spot.
And now for some more pictures. Sometimes they are so far away, I see the shapes of their bodies, sometimes I see the faint images of their faces and sometimes it is clear as day like the little boy was. And sometimes, they are not there. Enjoy.
And this last one is just a beautiful pictures of the clouds as the sun is setting.
Have you ever had one of those days that something happens that just sucks it all out of you and leaves you disillusioned and with a loss of respect? That happened to me today. I do not give respect easily. You really have to earn it with me. Same with trust and when something happens that breaks that, it is like suffering a death to me.
It was funny, I had cried last nite and today because I had that overwhelming feeling I get when someone is about to die or has just died that I know or is a loved one of someone I know. I never dreamed it could be the death of an ideal to me…the death of respect…the death of honor. And right now I am so disappointed that I feel as though someone kicked me in the gutt. People I held the highest esteem for, felt were honorable and stood up for what is right. Oh, don’t worry…I will get past it. I will never feel exactly the same again, but I will move past for that is how I am.
Honor is extremely important to me…just like honesty that I have mentioned before…and I reserve my respect for those I feel are honorable people who live by values of mutual respect, honesty…so, if I ever tell you I respect you or someone else…you better know it is the highest honor you can get with me.
R E S P E C T
yup, that is the name of the game. Sing it Aretha.
I am so excited. Tomorrow nite we are going to a Caberet performance. I can’t wait and the guys have us a special table reserved with a padded chair for me so I can enjoy and maybe stay a good while. There will be lots of people at the Rio.
I am so thrilled as Leroy found me a kitchen stool to help me when I am in the kitchen. Will take a pic tomorrow as am tired tonite. Have been working on spirit cloud pictures. On our ride home, we saw a visitor in town. We see them occasionally. No one bothers them.
And now for spirit clouds. this is the best Angel I have ever gotten.
I will put the circled version of this one…and see if you see the arms reaching out and faintly see the person. And in the top of the picture appears to be a whole group talking.
And tomorrow I will post more…for the sky was alive today with the clouds.
For now, I need sleep for things always good better in the morning.
Today has been such a day of contemplation for me. Thinking about the spirit clouds. Looking around the world and seeing so many angry people….angry over what they have no control over. Angry over loss of loved ones, over weather emergencies that took homes and lives, over wars, over politics, over financial matters that cost them their homes, their cars, their jobs, their families. Anger with no place to go.
And I sit and watch it become an inferno of anger and people turn on people. They sit with others who feel like they do and feed off of their anger and frustration and feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness. What horrible feelings and then it is like trying to swim upstream like the fish against raging waters and getting no where and the feelings grow and grow until it turns into physical violence.
And it is then I realize that people who are so consumed like this..have lost the one thing that keeps me going…HOPE. If I did not have hope…I would not still be here. Hope comes in many packages…hope for tomorrow, hope for better things, hope for solutions, hope for love, hope for a way out, hope for a way in…and if we lose that hope then despair sets in but what happens is people find it more comfortable to be angry than to be in despair and so they turn to anger.
When I became disabled, I decided I had two choices…I could lay back and give up and whine about it or I could accept what was happening and find new ways to live. I chose the latter. Why? Because I am the infernal pollyanna. I can always see a bright side to something. I have learned even in the middle of bad there is good. It was hard when my legs started giving out on me but the good side…was it made me slow down and start enjoying life in bites instead of gulps.
Oh I dream alright. I dream of things for me, for those I love, for the world, for the future, for peace…I dream and dream and many of the dreams come true and some don’t. I dream for people who have lost homes and jobs and families. When we got this house, it was a repo and my heart wept for those that lost it for I know it was a terrible loss.
Maybe I was just born with the compassion switch. I look at others and even when they are ugly..try to look behind to the reason for many times their ugliness has nothing to do with me and more to do with their life and struggling.
And so, I sat here tonite listening to this song above and watching the stars and thinking about our world and how much more can it take of us misusing what is here. We displace wild animals and then get mad because they come to our houses and tear up things or try to break in looking for food. We destroy the land for new subdivisions while many subdivisions are laying fallow dying. What will happen to our world when everything becomes a concrete jungle?
Thank God I believe in heaven and I know how beautiful it is and now I know it is there…just a breath away. And I know others have gone on before. And because I know…it makes this world and all the things going on..so much easier to live with.
We have actually come to the part of moving where it is fun. Enough stuff is done that we can bring five or six boxes at a time and go through them and enjoy what we are finding. Below are treasures and memories. This lamp is son’s and was his grandfathers and he loves it. It is very old but the memories for him are awesome. Oh, if you click on pictures, they enlarge.
This is a plaque from the man’s whose house we bought over the mountain and he was actually part of the Chicago Fire department and this was given to him. He gave it to son because he knew son was a volunteer fireman.
And a huge treasure. This is a picture of the actual magazine ad for Ford from 1973. The old picture in the ad is of my grandfather, driving that model T and he was demonstrating how to do a quick oil change on the court-house steps. The two boys sitting up on the ledge are his younger brothers, George and Albert. We actually have the original picture in our picture box. Now what a surprise this was and we found it on ebay.
And this next is one of the most awesome things and part of a dream come true for me. I have said how I literally was stuck in one room on the other side of the mountain and how this home I could not do anything. It is wonderful now. I can be part of the house. Do I get tired? yes…do I stay in my room a lot..sometimes. But I CAN do things if I feel up to it and want to.
and my pizza I felt like the little girl who talks about shake and bake and said “and I helped” LOL Those are son’s hands doing the oven part as I am not balanced enough to be around the oven.
We made cherry Crunch, pizza and blue berry muffins. We try to cook in bulk and make the most use out of having the oven on. Might have disabilities, but I find a way.
I was so excited. I went outside and saw my first butterfly bush bloom. And the plant has really grown. It was one of several that a friend sent me as a housewarming gift and they are all planted in my little fenced in area in the back yard.
And our backyard, which is only area we water, is greening up and looking good. I want to invest in some of those ten to twelve foot tall trees Home depot sells to put in this little area for you can see how dry it is outside our fenced in area.
Here is Rosie out at the Rio. She looks for Jack every time we go.
And to show you our rotten, styling and profiling Jack. When he got real sick couple years ago, and we were told to absolutely not let him get wet, we could not figure out how and I finally came up with a solution and now he will not go out in the rain without it.
And a fun spirit picture.
And lastly, this is the picture that stuck with me from yesterday. All I could do was look in awe and think…this is someone’s son that left this world too soon. I have always believed in heaven, after my experience at the threshold when I had lung surgery, I believed even more and now with these pictures I know there is life beyond here. I think, someone is wondering about their child and I wish I could show them. Is this not the most awesome picture ever. I traced one copy and am putting the real picture below it. Look back and forth and you will see the boy, plain as day. This sweet sweet child. Sometimes looking at these pictures is like those pictures with pictures hidden in them and your eyes have to adjust or once you see, you really start to see them.
Here is where I traced him and below it will be the actual picture.
And always remember, what you believe does not have to be contingent on what others believe. Believe what is in your heart and what your heart holds true.
This is just a picture post. Hope you enjoy. The joy I get from taking these pictures is enormous and from having people come up seeing me take pictures and actually see some of this before I get the picture taken.
and if the one above is too faint for you, it was far away and very small, here it is traced
The one below made me think of St. Francis for he has a dog by him and a bird..
Sometimes the “plain” is so far away that it is hard to zoom in and get is as clear as I want. Sometimes, it is closer and I get a full face. It is the most awesome thing in the world to me. And when I am standing taking pics and someone comes over and says something and describes what they see and it is the same thing I am taking a picture of, blows me away.
Hope you enjoyed for this lady is tired and ready to go to bed.
Every had one of those days that just takes it all out of you. I am so tired. I feel totally depleted as if I have nothing left with which to work. Not to worry. I never give up but I do have a day here and there where I have to dig deep to find the strength to keep battling.
Life should not be a battle all the time. It should not be filled with pain and struggles all the time. It should not be filled with fighting for what is yours all the time. And when you are disabled, the battles are even harder at times. Sometimes it feels like it is a constant battle we have to just pull inside deep and hold on to that which keeps us going.
I have been battling the system on the other side of the mountain since we sold the house. We are talking over three months. Been stripped of dignity by someone who has misused their power and the battle seems to go on and on.
Today was some vindication when the judge asked what the deal was on my status and the woman said she apologized to me for the delay and told him that they did not know about the error until yesterday because of the fourth of July holiday. I won’t even comment on that but will let you form your own opinion. lol The judge did tell her that he would be having another phone session next week to make sure it was fixed. So, the judge has stood up for my rights just as Ken, the social worker here and the social services dept here has done trying to get me back on my program that I should never have been removed from.
And the adrenalin that I have been running on seemed to leave me and left me totally drained. And then filling out papers took what energy I had left. And I laid back here on the bed and just totally konked out and slept so hard I can’t seem to get focused. Ever have those days? Anyone? I know someone is out there. lol
And now, I asked my son for comfort food. I saw this on a blog and it just hit one of those sensory comfort things we remember from years ago. I want cinnamon toast. You know the butter the bread, sprinkle the cinnamon sugar on it and run under the broiler cinnamon toast.
Ever thought about how a “comfort thing” can make you feel a little pampered when things seem so rough? It could be a special bubble bath, lotion, tea, coffee, sweater, food…something that always makes you feel good like those old pair of jeans that fit just right. That and loved ones that seem to be there reaching out a hand or a shoulder and letting us know we are loved help us on this journey. And those fur babies who just seem to know when we are struggling, help to comfort us and give us joy. Jack has stayed close to my bed, where he can watch me and just refused to move. Oh I love that boy.
Always remember…things always look better in the morning after a good nights sleep and that is exactly what I intend to do. Sleep sleep sleep. Oh and before I forget, today I looked out at all the spirit clouds and saw angels all in the clouds. And I mean bunches of them. Even my son, who does not cloud watch, was saying OMG look at all the angels mom.
I have decided that moving is like doing an aerobic workout. You work until the “burn” hits and then you collapse until you can do it again. Son and I realized we have been doing this for two years. We started the day we put the house on the market. That began an aerobic workout that lasted months and consisted of doing upgrades and repairs. But, it paid off for the house sold. So, we worked for a month and then packed and moved and are working again. A two-year aerobic workout of moving and repairs.
It has now gotten to the point we are still working hard on this dream but boxes we are opening are like having Christmas early..things we have not seen in two years. Oh the joy and ecstasy of seeing these things again. I was so tickled to find my bear welcome plaque that son bought me a couple of years ago. It is cast iron and looks great on the front door.
Son and I went to the storage unit and he loaded a bunch of boxes and we came home to dive into memory lane. Our living room is now set up with the frame for the day bed and it looks so nice. You have seen the dining room all fixed…here is the living room.
And our fifteen dollar end table. We love it cause it has a huge storage capacity underneath for games, etc.
And those french cleats on the book shelves are wonderful. You see what all is on those shelves and they are holding tight. Son was pretty smart on that. HE has one more bookshelf to put up and then unload more boxes of books.
If was fun looking through the boxes and seeing all the treasures. My linen napkins, dishes, son’s fireman collection, gold watch, lanterns…just treasures we have not seen in two years. So all the agony work was made worthwhile with the ecstasy of opening the boxes and seeing the treasures.
My artwork supplies, my angels, son found so many treasures..God has been so good to us. We are truly blessed. Our motto now is ” a place for everything and everything in it’s place” and so we are making sure that everything has a “home”. If it has a place, then the clutter bug does not hit so often.
Well, found out a little while ago that the woman on the other side of the mountain did NOT open my case again and so we will have the hearing tomorrow. I do not know what her issues are. They transferred it without opening it. Now, I could reapply and start a new process which would mean I would be without medical coverage for a couple more months. What is wrong with these people who are supposed to be advocates for the sick, elderly and disabled?
Wow, woke up with horrible muscle spasms in my legs. This is when I sound like one of the horror movies as I try to walk with crutches and one leg just won’t work. Son says I do the “thump” ”thump” “drag” sound. Once the spasms let go, I can laugh about it. But until then, is no laughing matter.
I kept dreaming a dream of jury duty, Casey Anthony and other trials. Now, I know this trial is a civil case and not a long trial but it sure was a crazy dream time. I was probably as shocked as everyone else with the Casey Anthony outcome but trials of late have me worried about our jury system. I see Juries trying to “make a statement” when their job is to uphold the law and carry out the judicial system. I see Juries who convict because they didn’t like the person got off the time before, even if there were not enough evidence. So, my faith in this system is really low. Perhaps this is why I feel obligated to go down there for jury selection.
Is nice to wake up with a cool house. We got our electric bill from the month of the 5000 BTU air condition and swamp cooler running. It was 250.00. I was not surprised for that little AC would not even shut the compressor off as it could not cool the house. Next month will tell us a lot. But meanwhile, I am where my eyes are clear and I can breathe without struggling so.
I hear Jack over there snoring. He raised his head up once as if to say “Mom, what are you doing” as I thump thump dragged around the room and out into the LR and Kitchen. Waking to such severe pain on the inner thighs is like waking up in hell and you can’t get your brain cleared enough to think. Thank God, I have reflex that helps propel me from the bed and onto the crutches for that is all that will get that part of my spine to release the pressure on those nerves.
I love the quietness of this house. I have learned through the years that there are certain things that accelerate my pain and noise is one. Bright lights and crowds are others. So, the peace in this house as we get it set up is so nice. I actually sat in the recliner in the living room last nite and son and I just talked. A long time coming that was. It is a joy to use all of the house for the first time in years.
And the red headband is still on and I am still in fight to survive mode. Is how I keep rocking and rolling. How I keep from giving up and just quitting. I am too stubborn to just lay back and do nothing. And besides that…there are dreams to work. So, back down for hopefully a couple more hours sleep before that trip to the courthouse and that ride on that magical metal lift up those courthouse steps as they sure are a climb. I know..I did it yesterday..probably the reason for the spasms tonite. And as son says, my guardian angel was right behind me to keep me from falling up or down those brick steps. And they were not even yellow bricks like in the Oz.
- Comfort foods
- Dreams for the future
- Eating Out
- Etta James
- Female Impersonators
- heart center
- helping others
- Native American
- New Year's Resolution
- Protection from fraud
- Rocky Mountains
- US Military