Use It Or Lose It

I sit there thinking about how easily we can lose our health …our eye sight, our hearing, our limbs…even organs. Some we come with two of like our eyes, our ears, our arms, hands, legs, feet…even our lungs and kidneys and some with only one. I have always heard that we were given two ears and two eyes and only one mouth meaning that we should watch and listen twice as much as we talk.

I have heard the phrase “use it or lose it”  many times referencing  our muscles and I am finding that true right now as I struggle to keep moving my legs and not lose the muscles from having to lay here on my back so much. It does not take long to lose our muscles if we do not use them like we should.

I think use it or lose it also applies to other things too such as our minds. So much brainless stuff on the television and in the movie industry now. I mean seriously, I wonder if people are doing studies on what some of the horrible reality shows are doing to our brains. I just refuse to watch because I find them insulting.

But, I also find that use it or lose it applies to love and compassion…the emotional part of the heart. We all come with the ability to love and care about others and yet today I see so many that have lost that feeling of love and feel nothing but anger and bitterness.  And as far as caring for others, there is no compassion or empathy for those suffering.

So, I have to wonder if this is a case of use it or lose it. If we stop caring about others do we lose the ability to care?  If we stop being compassionate about others, do we lose the ability to be compassionate?  It is a case of use it or lose it.

I notice people who are constantly helping those in need…working in soup kitchens, gathering clothes or food to donate, doing things to help those who are in such dire need and it seems the more they do, the more they want to do. And I see some who live in such a black hole of anger and hate and lack of compassion for others that you have to wonder what brought them to that point.

I have always loved doing for others and my sons are the same way. And yes, we have gotten burned and used at times but we never let it stop us. I believe what we give out comes back ten fold. And I believe that includes love but even when you offer love and compassion to someone and they do not return it, it is still a wonderful feeling knowing that you gave of yourself.

I think loving, compassion, care, empathy are all choices we make just as lack of love, anger, hate, lack of compassion are all choices. And sometimes the choice is easier depending on how much we use that part of us. The more we use the good parts inside us, the more they grow within us.  And the more we use the bad parts within us, the easier it is for them to grow and fester. And it is all choice.

So, when it comes to love, compassion, kindness and care….use them or lose them. And if you have hit the black hole of anger, bitterness, lack of compassion or care…you can counteract that by starting to use them to bring them back just like muscles.

Tears, Whether On The Outside or Inside, Show Our Hearts

Someone Sent me this and I loved it. It does talk about the tears of a woman but I find that there are men who have the compassion and love and care that we so often attribute to women. There are men who stand by their wives, their children, their families, their friends and yes, even their mothers and fathers. My sons are two of them and I have both men and women on here who are like that. So, this poem is for all of you…all of you who:

 have made me smile when I needed it the most.

have stood by me and been there for me during the rough times.

who have made me see the good side of things when all I could see was the bad

who have given me a glimpse of a better world when we see so much ugliness.

And I say thank you…from my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

image from goodlightscraps.com

~ Tears of a Woman ~
 

“Mom Why are you crying?” “Why are you crying?” he asked his mom.

“Because I’m a woman” she told him. “I don’t understand,” he said.

His mom just hugged him and said, “and you never will”……….

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother

seem to cry for no reason?”

“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say……..

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry…

Finally he put in a call to GOD; when GOD got on the phone the man said,

“GOD, why do women cry so easily?”

GOD said…….When I created woman she needed to be special. I created her

shoulders strong enough to bear the weight of the

world; yet, soft enough to be comfortable….

I gave her the strength to give life, the kind that accepts the

 rejection that often comes from children.

I gave her the strength to  allow her to go on when everybody else gives up.

The kind that takes care of her family despite illness and fatigue

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children unconditionally 

even when they have hurt her deeply…

I gave her the strength to endure her husband in his faults and

to stay at his side without weakening

And finally, I gave her tears to shed whenever she needs them to be shed.

You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

nor is it in her face or in the way she does her hair.

The beauty of a woman resides in her eyes. It is the door to her heart.

The door where love resides.

and it is often through those tears that you see her heart go by

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Life is a one time thing. We do not get makeup sessions. Every minute we lose is gone forever.

image from Life‑is‑not‑a‑dress‑rehearsal.png

Waves, Views, News, Words,

Reblogged from Dr. Sherry E. Showalter - "Keepin It Real":

• 
• 

Tropical Storm Debby has left us; heading east and we are ever so happy here. We are now cleaning up, assessing damages; hearing from those we care about news of

"sinkholes" appearing in backyards, of warriors of this page now staying places other than their homes,

of being stranded at Siesta Key and feeling yukky and mukky and out of…

Read more… 1,672 more words

Thank you Sherry. You unwittingly added to what I had just posted recently on well meaning comments. GREAT BLOG. Hope you all enjoy it. :)

Sometimes Winning Is Not The Most Important Thing

This was an email story sent to me by a friend but I loved it for it demonstrated a wonderful point. That sometimes, doing what is right is much better then winning. I do not know if this is a true story or not but the message makes it worth reading. People ….children…decided that helping someone was more important than winning and because of what they did….they were the biggest winners of all by their actions. I loved this because in a world that seems filled with so much greed, hate and ugliness, the actions in this story were so beautiful. I found myself tearing up at the part where they started cheering this young boy on.

At a  fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: ‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?’ The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. ‘I believe that when a child like Shay , who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’ I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning! .’

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to! h old the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first! Run to first!’ Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’ Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay’

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him ! by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third! Shay, run to third!’ As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’ Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

‘That day’, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’. Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

It is all about choice. I say this a lot. We can choose to be people of honesty and integrity and compassion or we can choose to be people who think only of themselves and winning.  I prefer the first choice. How about you?

For A Day

I had someone tell me not long ago after being sick that there for a day, they knew what it was like to be me as sick as I am and can not do anything much and they did not like it. I thought “for a day? You have no idea”.  Part of me wanted to say if you want to know what it is like to be me, try it for a life time. What I did tell the person was they should appreciate that they were given another chance at a normal life because the next time, they might not get it.

How often people can think they understand what someone chronically ill, disabled, grieving the loss of a loved one, lost a child, lost their home or other traumatic things are going through because they may have experienced it in a smaller way. I pray for this person daily for I never want them to really know what it is like to be me. My prayer is no one ever really knows what it is like to be me. I would not want my enemies to have to endure much less those I love.

Son asks me why I watch the shows like the woman with the 60 pound tumor. I told him it was to remind me that there is always someone worse than I am and that I have no idea what they go through.

I got this in an email just now and I thought it was so appropriate for this topic. I hope you enjoy.

THE WORLD IS MINE

                Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman
                And wished I were as beautiful.
                When suddenly she rose to leave,
                I saw her hobble down the aisle.   
                      She had one leg and wore a crutch.
                  But as she passed, she gave a smile.
                  Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
                  I have two legs; the world is mine

                 I stopped to buy some candy.
                 The lad who sold it had such charm.
                I talked with him, he seemed so glad.
              If I were late, it’d do no harm.
                And as I left, he said to me,  
              “I thank you, you’ve been so kind.
                  It’s nice to talk with folks like you.
                  You see,” he said, “I’m blind.”
                  Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
                  I have two eyes; the world is mine.

                  Later while walking down the street,
                  I saw a child I knew.
                  He stood and watched the others play,
                  but he did not know what to do.        
        I stopped a moment and then I said,
                  “Why don’t you join them dear?”
                  He looked ahead without a word.
                  I forgot, he couldn’t hear.

                  Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
                  I have two ears; the world is mine.
                  With feet to take me where I’d go..
                  With eyes to see the sunset’s glow.
                  With ears to hear what I’d know.
               
                Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
                  I’ve been blessed indeed, the world is mine.

Mob Mentality in Reverse

Mob Mentality, often called Herd Mentality or Crowd Hysteria….we all have heard of this and seen it happen. Just ask a person at the Christmas Black Day Sales, where people will knock you down and shove you and turn into someone you don’t recognize. We have read of people becoming so volatile and breaking into stores or becoming violent and hurting someone all because their emotions were fueled by the crowd at hand.

As I lay here in the dark, it hit me. Yesterday, I talked about ripples and how one kind act can create ripples of others. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could have Mob Mentality be something positive and have waves and waves of groups of people all acting together in kindness. I know…I know…you are probably saying “dream on lady”.  But, I am serious here. We could call it Mob Mentality in Reverse.

If we are going to allow the crowd to lead us and it happens from the time we are a child on up, why not make it be something positive. Can’t you just envision crowds of people doing good deeds for others, reaching out in kindness to offer them a helping hand up. I can see it. I watched it in action yesterday with just a small ripple.

Yesterday, watching people laugh and walk away when the person had their cart turn over, reminded me on a smaller scale of when people hear someone scream rape or help me and they turn a deaf ear because they don’t want to be involved. All it takes it one person to start the ripple…just one.

I remember back east when son and I collected clothing to help people go get jobs. We were collecting it for an organization that helped those who were scarred and needed counseling and a second chance in life to get that chance. When we would ask people for donation, they looked at us like we were crazy when we told them what it was for. And yet, the day we took those boxes of clothes…and I mean nice clothes to wear to apply for a job…the people in that center were so excited and so happy that it filled son and I up for weeks. But, just picture this as Mob Mentality and see people doing it all over the country. Oh my gosh, what a difference that would make in the world.

image from jeffersonsrebels.blogspot.com

I had someone tell me a couple of years ago that they hated that their hard-earned tax dollars were helping anyone. They told me they had plenty of money and it was not fair to him to have to contribute anything to help anyone else. Probably the first time I have been rendered speechless. To be honest, the people I find that are willing to step out and help others are usually those who have little but are willing to share it…not those who have a lot. Maybe that is why they have a lot but all I know is ….I would rather live my life having a little and know that I helped someone in need than to live in a mansion full of fancy furniture and have piles of money in the bank and know that I never helped anyone. My response to the person above was that I hoped and prayed he never found himself down and out and all he met were people with his attitude.

image from little-quotes-of-life.tumblr.com

Mob Mentality in reverse…..doing good-by crowds of people setting others off to do good…mass movements to reach out and help lift others UP…ripples traveling around the world that touch life after life after life. Oh yes, I can picture it and dream it. Who knows….maybe one day this dream will come true. All it takes is one to start it. You could be the one to start the acts of kindness…..to get the crowd going into Mob Mentality in Reverse.

Related articles

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• The ugly side of social media? The woman, the t-shirt and the Tennis final (simplyzesty.com)
• LETTER TO THE EDITOR | Appalled by the mob mentality (kitsapsun.com)
• Restored Faith In Humanity of the Day (thedailywh.at)
• Ripples In A Motionless Pond (workthedream.wordpress.com)
• The Ripple Effect (footsoldiers4christ.wordpress.com)
• Smiles and Ripples… (greatitudes.com)
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• DAVID ICKE: THE HERD MENTALITY [Video] (themoecashchronicles.com)

Middle of the Night Rambling

I think we all at some time or another contemplate our own mortality and it is usually the most common when someone has passed on. And, depending on how our beliefs are, we find some resolution. I have a great faith in the world beyond. I believe that is why I am allowed to see the faces in the clouds that I do. I open my heart and mind.

With my health like it is, I think about these things at times but it is more in a sense of making sure that I have done all I wanted or needed to do. Have I taken care of all the legalities so my son is ok, have I made sure to always let those I love know that and have I settled my conscience with the Creator. Those types of things. I don’t dwell on dying as some do for to me it is just another journey that I will be making only one day when my time comes….and when I do, I won’t have to be Robo Mom.

So, as I lay here in the middle of the night, I was thinking about Whitney and what a hard life she had and how she is finally free. I am sure many will bring up on the internet and media about her drug problems and domestic problems, but the truth is…if any of us were put under the scrutiny that someone like Whitney was put under, there would be plenty to be found that didn’t look good.

For me, when someone I know or someone I love dies, it is a lesson on compassion not on tearing them down. Compassion seems to be lacking in the world today. Maybe some people are just worn out and find it hard to feel compassion. I used to take care of those with cancer…yes on these forearm crutches and had a cancer support group. And I think anything we can do to make the end of life easier for people, we should do. Perhaps that is why I loved the concept of Hospice. They bring compassion and care not just for the patient but for the family and yet people will resist it to the bitter end. I am not sure why. I think for the same reason many people will put off making a will…because it feels like if they do they are saying they are dying.

I know there is life beyond here and no one has been able to convince me that I did not see heaven when I had kidney surgery and they had to work on me so long as I was having a lot of problems on the operating table. I didn’t see the white tube many talk of. What I saw was like standing in the doorway of a room that is dark and looking out into another room that is lit up….and it was the most beautiful, pristine place you could imagine. Such colors and purity. I believe the emeralds and rubies mentioned in Revelations are the intensity of the colors. The grass was such a glowing green, the flowers such deep and rich colors. And people were walking around and animals were in the fields.

And I came home from that surgery with such a peace in my heart. Life has not been easy since that surgery but when things are tough….I can close my eyes and see that other world and it brings such joy and makes everything alright. And when I see faces in the sky like this picture below…..I know that the other world is out there….just a breath away. The first time I saw  this boy’s face and that house in the sky, I cried. I assure you I have not done anything to this picture except circle what I saw. Son was with me and saw it. He has learned to recognize when the faces are in the clouds and will come and tell me …”Mom, they are here….get your camera”.  We are all homeward bound sometime in our lives and knowing there is a home on the other side is very assuring to me.

“I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than  to live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is”

unknown

Write Your Name In Kindness

another article from my column a few years back. Thank you son for posting.

 

video by   siuo7

“Live for something. Do good and leave behind your monument of virtue that the storms of life can never destroy. Write your name in kindness love and mercy on the hearts of thousands that you come in contact with year after year. You will never be forgotten.”

Write you name in kindness. What a concept when so many want to be famous and have great wealth. Just a simple thing. I will always remember the kindness people showed me while the rest will go by the wayside. I think about my student in my third grade class, who was at the hospital when I had surgery many years ago because her Dad had surgery. She saw I was alone and so she sat with me and put cool cloths on my brow and held the glass for me to sip water.  Such kindness and the memory is as fresh today as the day it happened.

Kindness goes a long way. I have sat and watched people do something so kind and it touched my heart…even when the kindness was being shown someone else.  These things seem to stick with us for kindness is such a great gift to bestow on someone.

A good character is the best tombstone.  Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered.  Carve your name on hearts, not on marble. 

Charles H. Spurgeon

Kindness, mercy, love….they are a universal language that everyone can understand even if we don’t speak the same language.  Are we becoming a cynical society? Do we see the bad so vividly that we no longer see the good and those that need a kind word or kind touch?

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. 

Mark Twain

I can think of times in my life when all I want is kindness…a gentle touch…soothing words and I know many others in this world are the same way. Being kind cost us nothing..but time and a little effort. We should try to be kind as often as we can.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. 

Leo Buscaglia

Have you ever thought about the effect you have on others. Think about how many people you come in contact with daily, even those you never speak to but just are seen. How has your behavior affected them?  Have you ever thought about what your behavior or lack of behavior or action might do to those you come in contact with? Are you writing your name in  kindness?  Are you being kind anyway even when you don’t feel like it?

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

So, are you writing your name in kindness? Are you writing your name in mercy and love for others? Are you leaving  behind a monument of love and caring that has made a mark that can not be forgotten or washed away? Gone are the days  communities coming together to help families build their homes or raise their barns, but the days of reaching out in love and helping others in time of need or just giving comfort and love need not be gone. Be kind anyway.

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. 

Author Unknown

When was the last time you carried dinner to someone, called someone to see how they are, visited a shut-in, drove someone to a doctor appointment that you knew had no transportation….did something from someone just because you knew they needed it?  When was the last time you wrote your legacy on a monument…a legacy of kindness?  Sad to say…most people say “call me if you need me” when if we just used our eyes…we would know when someone was in need and just offer to help.

As for me:

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. 

William Penn

video by   xbritishgirlx