A Time of Anticipation, A Time of Joy

As I lay here, I am thinking about the original holiday…the birth of Jesus. What I am thinking about is the sense of anticipation that all must have had just as people have a sense of anticipation today. Mary anticipating this special son, Joseph anticipating his special son , the shepherds anticipating the Savior, the wise men anticipating the long-awaited arrival of the King that they carried gifts to.

“Anticipation, or being enthusiastic, is an emotion involving pleasure, excitement, and sometimes anxiety  in considering some expected or longed-for good event.”  Wikipedia

I believe anticipation is the most joyous parts of life.  We have dreams and the anticipation that precedes them is such an exciting time especially at the holidays. Sometimes what the dreams result in can be a let down but the anticipation was still a joyous time.

Christmas is a time of anticipation for everyone no matter your reason for celebrating the holidays. For my family, it is the anticipation of being together, cooking together and enjoying a special time. We ceased with the big commercial, consumer Christmas years ago.  I reached a point that I decided that going in debt spending money on piles of gifts that are soon broken, tossed aside, or forgotten in a few months time was absolutely what I did not want the holidays to mean. I wanted it to be memories of being together..to be something that my kids and grandchild could pull from years from now and say “I remember being with Mom” instead of trying to remember “what Mom gave me”.

As the anticipation and excitement mounts today…Christmas Eve…I find that focusing on the family and loved ones I will be in touch with and be with and even Skype with are the most exciting times of my day today and tomorrow. And the meal that Mama sent and that son will fix and we will share together is the highlight. Because of having just got back from Denver…we will not be doing the big cooking together but we will still enjoy eating together and that is important.

Sometimes anticipation can cause us to set expectations that are too high and we can end up too disappointed and the holiday is ruined. If we can keep our anticipation on the joy of being together and not on what present we will get or who will give us what…then we will not feel let down.

Maybe what I am saying is if we take all the commercialism out of the holidays and enjoy loved ones and family and family of choice and the holiday spirit, the holidays would be happier. I spent many a Christmas alone…just me and my Jack…because son had to work the holidays and so  I would go deliver meals, come back and fix myself a plate and turn on the Christmas specials, turn on all my holiday lights and enjoy this beautiful holiday…yes alone…and I did enjoy the day.  And then son and I would have Christmas on another day.

Life is what you make it. Whether you think you can or you think you can not…you will be right. And if you think you can not have a happy holiday because you have no money, no family, no friends, whatever….you will be right. And if you think and believe you can have a happy holiday and enjoy it no matter what obstacle comes your way…you will.

Merry Christmas to you all and I send prayers for a joyous coming year. …may it bring you love, happiness and peace.

Attitude of Gratitude

Mom Says:

Thank you all here for being matches in my life and re-lighting my flame when it burns low and sometimes out. I pray many blessings for you all

Love

Deb

image from thehoopoesodyssey.blogspot.com

From Son:

Mom is having an even harder time this time thank last. She will make it but she is really struggling. Thank you all for caring about her like you do. You brighten her life like a match in a dark room.

Carl

Looking at Life

I have been laying here watching a movie called “The Last Dance” and have laughed with tears in my eyes and then it dawned on me that this is what I am doing with my children and my Sweetpea….trying to give them all I have of me. No I am not planning on dying anytime soon but when you reach the age of sixty and I am 63, the years left are not as long.

This movie is very poignant but also very profound. The older woman realizes that she is sick and will not live years and years and so she begins to look at her life. She starts giving away her treasured possessions to people that she felt would really enjoy them. She knew some of those closest to her did not care about them so she gave them to the bus driver, to friends she met here and there. She wanted her treasures to have a home with someone who she knew would love it and not just sell it or stick it in a closet. I have done that with my sons a couple of years back and what I knew they really liked, I gave to them. What I knew they would never really cherish or keep, I gave to friends that loved whatever it was I had.

And then in the movie, she started sharing her memories with those closest to her and she told the one that she was the closest to the following:

“savor memories..for that is all life is..a series of moments”

“will you take care of my memories for me? I want you to have them and to take care of them”

I loved that because it seems that for so many people accumulating wealth and possessions is the most important and yet all we really have when we leave this world is our series of moments between the birth and death date. Some call that the dash moments. But, they are our memories.

Yes, years ago, there was a family historian or story-teller that took care of the memories and kept them in their head and listened to and kept a record of sorts so that the next generations knew what life was like. We do not do that anymore. And many beautiful memories are lost.

We tend to wait until loved ones are gone to wish we had listened to them more and asked more questions about when they were young and about family.  It is like we are too busy and rushing around and do not take the time, which is sad to me. Are our series of moments in life…our memories not valuable at all?

I remember sitting and listening to my great-grandmother and I was but a small child. She told me about the civil war and the soldiers walking through their town and how scared everyone was as a little girl but that she was not. I have heard the story of my granny Bellamy when she was five swinging on the picket fence in her little dress, whistling Dixie at the northern soldiers. I have even been told that I had her spunk. But, if that story…that memory had never been told, I would not know it today.

It is not just memories of family that we cherish but of friends. I have and have had some of the most treasured friends ever. I love the quote the woman said in the movie:

“The name of friend is common but true friendship is rare”

And some of those friends have entrusted me with their memories and their joyous and sad moments in life. I felt blessed to be the recipient of their trust and their words. They have enriched my life greatly.

What I love about this movie was it stressed the importance of filling each day with joy and love and the things that mean the most. We can not take that fancy house or fancy car or all that money with us.  But, we can leave behind a legacy that will stay in the hearts of those around us for years to come and we can make memories that make each day we have on this earth so full and so joyous that our lives are enriched as well as those around us.

I recommend this movie for everyone. For me, it just confirmed what I wanted to leave as my legacy to my children is in the non material things. My hope has been that my fight and my drive have instilled in them the same fight and drive…and it has. I want to leave them the knowledge of how important it is to know that your happiness lies within not outside of us. I want to leave them the joy of just being with each other and slowing down. I want to leave them with the value of being honest, ethical and moral in all their choices in life. I want to leave them with the knowledge that they are very special and are loved so much. I want to leave them with a feeling of self-respect and the knowledge that I am so very proud of them.

And not only do I want to leave all that for my children, I want to leave it for those that come in contact with me. I want to leave those around me with the feeling that they are just as strong as they choose to be…that they are worth being treated right and deserving of having a life that is less stressful and filled with love. I want to leave those around me with the feeling that at least one person..me…cares about them and what they do and is willing to listen to them. And I want to leave all those around me with a feeling of having been part of my life.

I want to leave people with good thoughts in their heads. I think we have a choice. We can let the media bombard us with all the ugly, we can let those around us fill our lives with ugliness and arguing and fussing or we can fill our heads with good thoughts and make each moment in life special.

We have 86,000 seconds in a day. How many do you spend being thankful and saying thank you, being happy and joyous, making good memories and loving those around you?  How many do you spend with all the negative in the world? It is all a choice.

Tears, Whether On The Outside or Inside, Show Our Hearts

Someone Sent me this and I loved it. It does talk about the tears of a woman but I find that there are men who have the compassion and love and care that we so often attribute to women. There are men who stand by their wives, their children, their families, their friends and yes, even their mothers and fathers. My sons are two of them and I have both men and women on here who are like that. So, this poem is for all of you…all of you who:

 have made me smile when I needed it the most.

have stood by me and been there for me during the rough times.

who have made me see the good side of things when all I could see was the bad

who have given me a glimpse of a better world when we see so much ugliness.

And I say thank you…from my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

image from goodlightscraps.com

~ Tears of a Woman ~
 

“Mom Why are you crying?” “Why are you crying?” he asked his mom.

“Because I’m a woman” she told him. “I don’t understand,” he said.

His mom just hugged him and said, “and you never will”……….

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother

seem to cry for no reason?”

“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say……..

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry…

Finally he put in a call to GOD; when GOD got on the phone the man said,

“GOD, why do women cry so easily?”

GOD said…….When I created woman she needed to be special. I created her

shoulders strong enough to bear the weight of the

world; yet, soft enough to be comfortable….

I gave her the strength to give life, the kind that accepts the

 rejection that often comes from children.

I gave her the strength to  allow her to go on when everybody else gives up.

The kind that takes care of her family despite illness and fatigue

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children unconditionally 

even when they have hurt her deeply…

I gave her the strength to endure her husband in his faults and

to stay at his side without weakening

And finally, I gave her tears to shed whenever she needs them to be shed.

You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

nor is it in her face or in the way she does her hair.

The beauty of a woman resides in her eyes. It is the door to her heart.

The door where love resides.

and it is often through those tears that you see her heart go by

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life is a one time thing. We do not get makeup sessions. Every minute we lose is gone forever.

image from Life‑is‑not‑a‑dress‑rehearsal.png

What An Exciting Wake Up I Had

My son back est had told me to have my computer set to watch my Sweetpea ride her horse in the National Barrel Racing Competition. I am so excited for her and for my son and his wife.  Her horse is a beautiful “paint” faced horse that she has ridden all her life on. And here is my Sweetpea riding her horse around in the arena.

Is this not a beautiful Paint horse.

I awake this morning before 7  with the live cast ready to go and when I clicked on it, there it was right in front of me. Technology is amazing is it not. As I waited for her name to be called, I was texting my son saying “what number is she??”  And then suddenly I was squealing with delight as I heard her name and she and her horse charged through the entrance out into the arena. She had on her cowboy had and what looked to me like a turquoise shirt and she rode that horse like a pro. My sweet grandbaby that has just grown up on me so fast.  I was texting as fast as I could go saying “I see her!  I see her!!”  as son texted back “so do we” .  Oh what a glorious moment for us all.

The arena is huge as you can see below. This was from earlier. I was so excited that I forgot to make screen shots of her riding. All I could do was clap my hands as tears of joy ran down my face.  Sometimes, because of health reasons, etc., we can not be with our loved ones but my son made sure I was included in this special day for Sweetpea. And you can bet that I will be sitting here ready to take screenshots when she gets to ride again. It is a week long adventure for her.

http://barrelhorsenews.com/current-live-broadcast/3752

Webcast Silverlight Player

barrelhorsenews.com

Barrel racing super site for barrel horse news, barrel horses for sale and results.

She has been training for this day for a long time and I am so proud of her. She has grown into such a fine young lady and I am proud of my son and his wife for being the kind of parents that they are. They love her, are constantly doing things with her and also are trying to raise her up to be honest, moral and ethical. What more could one ask for.

Just call me one proud grandma.

Just Rambling

Today is one of those days where my thoughts keep drifting from one thing to the other. Son and I were just talking about how young our country really is and yet look at the shape we are in. I told him that I was going to tell him something that would really show you how young this country is. My granny Bellamy…my great grandmother….was five years old during the Civil War. And yet, when I was a very young girl…she was still alive. She died when I was five. Oh the stories I wish I had been old enough to listen to about her growing up.

Now, think about this…she was born in the 1860′s and yet was still alive in the early 1950′s. Can you just imagine the things that she saw and the changes.  Now think about less than 100 years earlier…we became a country. We really are a young country.

I thought a lot about Granny Bellamy today as I helped make bread. She was the one that often babysat us and I remember things she did like when my parents would leave and tell her we had to eat all our vegetables to get dessert. She knew we hated those big fat green peas and so would tell us we had to eat all we could keep on the butter knife. Now, that was a sight to behold for those peas just would not stay on that knife.

Families have changed so much since my Granny Bellamy days. Family took care of family and stayed close. Now, with the economy, many families are one parent or when there are both parents, both must work to make ends meet. And so many children are not growing up with that family connection at home. Many are latch key children and come home to empty houses until the parents get home after work hours.

It seems like families are now separate units rather than one huge family. Seldom do you see families coming together working to keep the family homestead or the family business or working together putting up the crops or building or fixing the homes of each other. Families move far apart from each other. I look and here I am way out here in Colorado and my youngest son and his family are still back in Georgia. And oh how I miss them.  We would love them to move out here and they would love us to move back there. In a perfect world, we would all be living on bunch of land, growing food and looking after each other.

As you can tell, my mind is just rambling and mostly on family and love and the things money can not buy. It is ironic to me how we start out in life as young adults with all these big dreams..wanting the huge house and the fancy car and make lots of money and then when we get older…we realize that the most important things are not in the “super sized”  but rather in things that money can not give us. Son and I had the huge house…and it was not warm at all. Now we live in this small cottage and it is filled with love, laughter and life and every room is used every day.

I find myself grabbing not at minutes but at seconds…wanting to catch every word, every look, every moment with my children and grand baby and those I love. But time has a way of zooming on by whether we hold on with both hands or not. And my views on life have changed over the years to where what was once important…no longer is. What I cherish now money can not buy. I love this quote below for I have found that it is so true.

image from labeautedevie.tumblr.com

The Blessings in Life

Blessings come in all forms. I have found that one of the nicest blessings for me is to experience watching my son here as he has found his nitch. When we moved to small town USA, I was not sure that he really wanted the country life. As I have watched him the past few days, I have come to realize that my son has found what he loves. He has health issues and he wanted to take care of me and that is one of the biggest blessings of all.  But he loves doing things around the home and in the yard. For two or three days he has worked on making garden plots for us to plant veggies. We are country through and through and life is not complete unless we have  tomato plants and squash plants and other veggies growing in the garden in the spring and summer time.

As he puttered around tilling the ground and mixing in top soil and bags of manure, I could see the look of contentment on his face. His back is still giving him a really hard time but he would rest a bit and then work a bit. He tilled two areas to plant in. One is really big and the other one is 6 by 15 feet. We are showing just how country we are for sure.  We have to have a garden and something growing. This was some kind of rough ground too and filled with rocks. Son said he could see how the pioneers with a horse and plow had to haul rocks out of the garden area. This plot is big.

And this one is the smaller one and 6 by 15 feet. It is for the plants that can not stand full sun all day.

He is also making another area that is more shaded for things like spinach and lettuce. We have tomato, `pepper and squash plants to put out today and then we have that treasured can with my seeds in it to plant too.

I have loved watching both of my sons take pride in their ownership of a home and this time with this son here is no exception. I feel blessed that I am still here to see it and we make more dreams and plans that will take us a long time to do. We are working the dream. We hope to get the fence finished and painted white on the inside and son is going to fix me a padded place to sit and I am going to paint trees and bushes and flowers and animals all around the fence so that it looks like nature back there.

Another blessing to me is my Jack. He has many health issues but he hangs right in there with us and loves us so much. You can see it in how he acts. So, here are some new pictures of him. I said he has a bed in every room. Well, this is his bed down the hallway between son’s bedroom and his office…in the closet there. He is all snugged in.

You know how nice the house smells when Thanksgiving dinner is being cooked. I love how nice the house smells when son is cooking. We are in our monsoon here and it is damp and cold and so son put on a crockpot full of soup and he made pies and the house never smelled so nice and the feeling was uplifting.

And then yesterday, I got an early birthday card from my Sissy. And she sent me this:

Earlier, we had bought a shade sail and put over the patio to give us a little shade from the hot sun here:

And thanks to Sissy, we were able to purchase two more of them as son wanted to put another one beside this one to make a bigger shade space. That way I can sit outside sometimes when I am feeling ok. So THANK YOU to Sissy…:)  what a wonderful surprise and I LOVE IT. We have already ordered the Shade Sails and will be here in another week I think.

image from chitoxichat.tumblr.com

I am so blessed in my life by some of the most simple things and the people in my life who love me. Never take for granted loved ones, for one day you could end up with no one. And then is when a person realizes what a blessing they had when they had those people with them. I am SOOOOOO BLESSED and THANKFUL for all I have in my life and for those people who are so special in my life and for all of you that read my blog and inspire me to keep writing.

There is not enough money to buy what I have in my life and the love that is bestowed on me. Thank you ALL.

Happy Mother’s Day To All

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers, whether you are a mother of children, a mother who has lost her child, an aunt or person who acts as a mother to someone, a mother with children still here, a father who must be both mother and father or someone who is a “mother” to her four leggeds or pets. I pray your day is very special and that you know how much you are loved.

video by MontgomeryGentry101

And this is a special video I saw that goes to show that no matter the language, a love for a mother comes through. This little boy lost his mother when he was 8 and he is singing about her now. They are talking at first as it is China Has Talent show, so you may want to move the bar over til the music starts. This one has English subtitles.

video by TranThanhHai1

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The Million Dollar Ring

I was sitting here watching Mash and Henry Gordon made a statement that I loved. He was sitting there as the Colonel looking through a picture album in the middle of the war and was talking about how looking at those pictures made life so much easier. He then said:

“It doesn’t matter how poor you are. If you have family, you are rich”

We live in a world where money seems to have taken precedent over common sense at times. I am not saying we should all live like paupers but I do think that so many focus on money, possessions and fame to the point they lose the meaning and value of other things in their life such as family and family of choice…our loved ones.

Son and I decided when we began planning our move to Colorado and the change in our lifestyle that the most important thing was family and being able to have time to enjoy family. I see people working to have these expensive houses, jewelry, clothing, vehicles, etc and all the effort they are putting into acquiring these things means they have very little time with their loved ones.  The time lost with your loved ones can never be regained.

I feel like I am the richest person in the world. We don’t have any money. We live in a small modular house and live very modestly. We don’t have expensive things. But we have each other as family and we spend time together and do things together. My other son and family may not be here all the time but they are a touch away as we keep close contact. And I love the fact that we don’t feel like we have to spend copious amounts of money on presents. It is the thought. I am especially proud to see my other son wanting to move to the country and live a more simple life style.

Last week when my sons went to the stores to show Savannah the Cowboy Junction store, my son here saw this turquoise ring. It is not an expensive ring. It was four dollars. But..and this was what made it so precious. Son had heard me say in the past that I loved silver and turquoise rings and he knew how much I wanted one. His remembering that and buying something that he knew I really loved…regardless of the price…made this ring a most precious gift.  He called it a promise ring as he promises one day…maybe for next Christmas he says, he will get me a real one. My other son is the same way about stuff. It is not the money that makes us rich….it is the love and family…including chosen family..that make us the richest people in the world. And I am a billionaire in that respect.

To me, this ring filled with so much love makes it a precious gem to my heart. When someone takes the time to give you something that they picked just for you…no matter the price…it is the million dollar gift….just like this ring is the million dollar ring to me. Every time I look at it, I think of how son thought of me and thought of something he remembered me saying I loved. What more precious gift than that could I get. It was not a pre-made box or basket like so many that are sold and bought at Christmas time…easy to grab with little thought of who it is going to.  It was a gift that showed that son knew me well and that he listens to things I say and remembers something that I said I really liked and wanted. It is a ring that I wear with great love.

Happy Easter and Happy Passover

No matter what faith you are or how you celebrate this weekend, I pray your day is one of many blessings and filled with love and acceptance. Life is too short to have one filled with hatred, bitterness, judgmental feelings, anger, or any other negative emotions. I pray you fill your day with love and laughter and loved ones. The three L’s.

Happy Easter

image from teleflora.com

Happy Passover

image from mangolanguages.com

I find that in spite of pain or other things, the world is still a wonderful place and my world here with son close to my mountains is a wonderful place to be. If you don’t like your view, change your focus….change your view.

video by miodragmilosevicbl

I hope everyone is having a grand day. We have had a wonderful time just son and I.  Son gave me an Easter basket filled with goodies and I have enjoyed malted milk eggs and jelly beans. Son fixed us a nice breakfast of eggs, bacon and hash browns and juice and coffee. Later today we will eat our Easter meal.

And yes, to answer the emails some of you sent…I did color Easter eggs today. And it was fun. Here is my basket full. Son helped me while I make marks on the eggs with a candle so that it showed up white. Son had to do the dipping as my fine motor skills are not good enough and we would have had dye all over the counter if I had done it.

And son cooked the most fabulous ham. We ate some last nite. But today, we are having the ham, red potatoes and green beans and deviled eggs. I got to make the eggs with son’s help. He did the cutting and scooping and I mixed the egg  yolk part and he spooned in.  Here is the ham he cooked.

And so, I wish you peace, love, joy, happiness, excitement, acceptance, contentment, laughter…..:)

video by waljaard