Twas the night before and I do not mean Christmas. Tomorrow I will be heading to the University of Colorado for the embolization of the kidney tumors. I am ok..just ready for it to be done.
Son will post something tomorrow night to let everyone know I came through ok. This will be a really tough test of MOJO as I will have to head to the National Jewish Hospital on Thursday to have all those tests after just having had the embolization done. But, it is what I came for.
I have faith that all will be ok. I am not so naive as to expect it to be easy. But, then again, if it were easy…I might really die of heart failure for life with my health has not been easy in years.
So, I am on prep now and when we get up and I shower and dress, we will be on our way. Thanks in advance for all the wonderful prayers and best wishes. They mean a lot. And most of all…thanks for getting me here. LOVE YOU ALL!!
Kindness can change the world and your acts of kindness changed the world for son and I. Thank you.
image from thebluebirdpatch.com
The holidays are upon us and many people will be celebrating without family members who have passed away. It is a hard time. Some people will shy away from any holiday festivities. Some will change what they normally do because they do not want to deal with the memories of their loved one.
I lost both parents and my favorite uncle all in one years time. Son and I decided to celebrate the person instead of denying their lives and acting like nothing had happened. I have learned that if you hide from pain, you can not heal. Yes, you may cry but if you hold tight to the good memories and do things in memory of them instead of totally avoiding, you can learn a new ritual for the holidays. My uncle loved the sweet potato casserole that we made and so son and I make sure to have it every holiday to remind us of him.
Being a person of faith, I believe that our loved ones are close by and when we think we are totally separated from them, it is but a hand’s width between us. We often see or hear things that suddenly make them seem so very close. And so, if they are close…why not still celebrate the holiday “with” their memory instead of ignoring it.
People fear death so much that they stay away from those they love that are dying and that is sad. This is the most beautiful quote I have read about dying. We miss so much when we do not be with those we love that are dying.
There is a quote that says two things we can not afford is death and taxes and that is about right. But, being a person of faith and someone who saw the world beyond when I had lung surgery and again when I had kidney surgery, I do not look at death as the end. I look at is as my loved one living in another place that is too far right now for me to go to.
I believe we should be with our loved ones, holding them, lifting them up until our loved ones on the other side take them. It should be a time of sharing every moment we can with them and implanting memories that help us after they are gone. Having worked with cancer patients, I found that those I knew that were dying said the hardest thing for them was feeling alone. I have had people tell me that they can not go visit friends that are dying or critically ill because it is just too hard and my answer is always…”and how hard do you think it is for them”.
“Many of us these days, we dread the death of a loved one. It is the ugly truth of Life, that keeps us feeling terrified and alone. I wish we could also appreciate the time that lies right beside the end of time. I know that I will feel the most overwhelming knowledge of her, and of her life and of my love for her, in the last moments. I need to do my damnedest to be there for that. Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I’ve ever known. When she dies.” Fiona
I have held the hand of people I love as they took their last breath, their eyes looking off somewhere that I could not see and their mouths calling names of loved ones already gone. I have watched a love one sit up and raise their arms up and saw the wisp of their spirit as they slumped back on the bed with their last breath. And because I believe in heaven, it was a beautiful sight to me…not one of fear.
This year I am thankful for all my loved ones..both here and on the other side, I am thankful for friends who reach out and include me, I am thankful for our home and my sons and my DIL and my grandbaby…and I am thankful to still be here.
Take the time to love your family this holiday, to be there in person and share with them. I had a friend who is as close as a blood sister to me…contact me today and say…hey, I am decorating the tree…want to come be with me? “ Now, she is on the other side of the country but I knew what she meant. We turned on Skype and I laid here and listened to Christmas music and watched her decorate her tree and even got to put an ornament on…she held it up and asked me where I wanted it to go.
Remember, time is the most precious gift you can give your loved ones..your time and your love.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I hope and pray your day tomorrow is beautiful.
And I am climbing. Might be skinning myself up as I slide down the hill at times, but I never quit climbing no matter what. I just keep holding on to the hands that seem to always be there to lift me up. God has placed so many angels in my life.
image from jewishcare.org.au
Tonight my doctor called me to tell me they had the results of my lung scan and they are doing a group talk about it and there are things it showed that they need to discuss with me.They told me if I felt where I could not breathe to get to the ER pronto and they will see me Thursday.
image from leeh.wordpress.com
This is one of those times when I rely on faith because that is all I have. I believe only God knows when we will leave this world, so I leave that up to Him and I have faith that no matter what happens, I can deal with it. I hold tight to His hand and He sends many hands of people like you all that lift me up in so many ways. Thank you for your love and care.
image from montywright.wordpress.com
and my faith is as big as these mountains of mine.
SO…..there’s always gonna be another mountain and I got my gear on and my rope for safety…from above. And I am climbing and holding on and know that no matter what they tell me, I will keep fighting and climbing.
♫♫ I gotta be strong and keep pushing on ♫♫
video by hollywoodrecords
I have been unable to go to church for over three years due to my health, how hard it is to get into my church and then the tightness of the pews (I wish churches would not do that for it makes it hard for tall people and really hard for someone handicapped) and the distance inside the church. I love going to church and dream of getting to go.
You may ask why I do not take my power chair. Well, my good one has never been fixed and the one they gave me instead they told me I could not take out of the house or it would void the warranty and it is not made for a tall person and wobbles and feels unsafe. So, I figured this dream of going to church would never happen.
Well, sometimes dreams work in a different way. Son came home the other day and asked me if I felt up to a little ride about four blocks or so away. I said yes and he drove me to this tiny little church …it is Baptist. The minister there and the members are so sweet. It is a small church of about 22. There are no steps and walking in is about 20 feet from my van to the first pew. The service is an hour and that is short compared to some churches . And so, I might be able to sit that long.
So, I have been resting for the past couple of days so that today my hope and dream is that we are going to attempt to go to this little church…to God’s house…for my first service in I believe it has been over three years. No, it is not the church I have gone to for years but all that matters to me is it is possible for me and it is God’s house.
The church is so small there are only about five rows of pews on each side and they have them spaced apart so my leg with the brace will not be cramped. Son is carrying a pillow for me. We did not even know this tiny little church was here. It is on the outskirts of town like our house. So, I am real excited and am praying that I can do this. I know I will give it my best shot.
I will post and let you know how I did when we get home. And the nice thing is that the pastor said that if I had trouble, just to get up and leave to go home but that he prays I will be able to stay and to stay after and eat with them as they will try to fix me a place in the little room off the church where they eat that is comfortable for me even if I have to lay down. I do not even know if I can make it through the service before the pain gets too bad but I am going to try.
I believe in the power of prayer. I always have. I also believe that God takes care of our needs. I have seen it happen over and over in my life. This time was no exception. I got a call this morning at 8 from the contractor asking me was it alright if they came today at eleven instead of tomorrow. He said that their appointment for that day had been postponed. Here I was in tears just two days ago because I felt like I was fighting a losing battle and I asked everyone that prays for prayers. I just simply asked for prayers. And today the contractor is coming after the man in charge told me two days ago that he was not coming. God is good all the time…even in the bad times. Not only was this resolved the financial issue is better too. Thank you for standing by me with prayers and good thoughts.
video by Unjourunehumeurunson
I believe that our needs will be taken care of and I can tell you story after story showing how my holding on to that faith…that something happened to take care of things financially. When my son was laid off, we were on the other side of the mountain. We had a big house payment that was more than my disability check. I kept telling my son that our “needs” would be taken care of. …not our wants…but our needs. And something happened every time to do just that. The gas bill would be due…a check from the electric co-op back east would send a refund from twenty years ago for the exact amount of the gas bill. The taxes came due and our escrow would have sent a check refunding overage from the past year for the exact amount of the taxes. We would be short on food and a neighbor would be seen going to all the neighbors and show up at our house with a big box of food because his freezer quit working and the food would thaw before he could get the new one delivered. So, he was giving it to his neighbors.
I have found that our needs have always been taken care of. We never went without food, a roof over our heads, warmth in the winter, cool in the summer, clothing, gas for transportation, medicine..things we needed. And the most glorious thing about last year was watching my son as each need was taken care of. Was it ever hard to rely on faith? Yes at times but I knew when the doubt crept in, I had to get it out quickly. There were times we were right up to the last minute, but it always came through. We had to do our part though. We had to exhaust all our means to try to solve the problem. We did not just sit back and say “ok God…you do it”. We had to do our part and find ways to accomplish it. Sometimes the taking care of our needs is in providing us the means to make what we need.
The other day I had done all I knew to do to get this work accomplished. I had done all I knew to do to get the financial situation also resolved. And finally I did the one thing left that I knew I could do and that was to ask others for prayers. And both needs have been taken care of.
So, to you all that prayed…thank you for the prayers. Thank you for standing by me and walking my journey with me. I do believe in prayer and I believe in you all.
I stepped out on the patio to watch the sun set and the hummers appeared. So I started my day with hummingbirds and ended it with hummingbirds. What a beautiful ending to my day.
And a prayer answered. The contractor called tonight to tell us that he will be here saturday to start on the renovation. Thank you Creator…thank you Lord.
image from jamestownumc.org
This evening has been a rough evening and have a need. It is weighing heavy on us too. So, am asking those of you that pray if you would pray for this need. I truly believe our Creator knows our needs and He provides them…not our wants but our needs…and this is a need.
God is good…all the time. And I have to keep my faith in that and know that it will work out.
image from loddymicucci.com
I can remember time after time where we did not know how we would make it, and it was always provided. Son still marvels at us needing the gas bill paid after he got laid off and out of the blue, a check from the electric co-op from back east sent a refund check from I believe it was 1988 for the exact amount. So, yes indeedy…our Creator does take care of us.
Thank you all in advance for the prayers.
So many of you were praying for Thomas O’Brien and I wanted to let you know that he has soared into heaven. No more pain and suffering. And while I feel tears in my eyes, I feel joy in my heart that is painful journey is over. Here is the post his mother made on his page:
My dear Friends, my beautiful, beautiful Son passed this morning just before 9:00am. His dad and I were right by his side just as he wanted and we told him it was ok to go. That mommy and daddy were here to give him to Grandma & Grandpa and that they were waiting for him. He will no longer be in pain and will forever be in Peace. He was born on a Sunday so it is a blessing for him to be with God and our Lord Jesus Christ on a beautiful Sunday. — with Thomas O’Brien.
If you would like to leave a message of condolence, just click on his name or his mother’s name above. Thomas and his mother have been heroes in my book, sharing their journey with the world and letting us walk with them. And now, he has soared on angel’s wings and those on the other side have taken him with them. Peace to you Thomas and prayers of comfort to Debbie and Thomas’s other family members.
A very special young man is on his journey towards heaven. He has been sharing his journey with the world and many are on his Facebook page loving him into the next world. Thomas O’Brien is a hero in my book for even though he served in the war….he has been fighting the biggest battle of all here at home…cancer…and he is fighting it with grace, courage and letting the world in to walk with him.
His mother Debbie has been standing by him through the whole painful journey and is loving him through it while at the same time she has been sharing Thomas with us and sharing pictures of him growing up and living life. She knows the time is coming soon when he will leave and the pain and sorrow for both is great. I ask if you pray would you please pray for this family as Thomas soars into heaven….and lift him up and lift Debbie up so that they know they are surrounded with love.
Thomas and his other Debbie….what love.
Thank you to all. What a courageous thing Thomas and Debbie have done in letting us walk this journey with them.
and his beautiful Mom
Love and the evelasting memories, struggles, stories and paths travelled never prepare us for a diagnosis of
C A N C E R
and the journey that then takes its own toll on the body/mind/spirit
as new paths are forged into unknown territories.
Thomas O'Brien diagnosed with Hodgins Lymphoma 3+ years ago,
- Comfort foods
- Dreams for the future
- Eating Out
- Etta James
- Female Impersonators
- heart center
- helping others
- Native American
- New Year's Resolution
- Protection from fraud
- Rocky Mountains
- US Military