I Am Not My Disease
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If you want it real….read my blog. If you want all fou fou and fluffy sweet..it is not here. :)
danLrene is a quirky, funny, eclectic, happy, compassionate, caring, hippy, country girl, redneck, and most of all a God-loving survivor who is also a writer, a poet, a photographer, an artist, the queen of bed dancing, hairbrush singer extraordinaire, once a cook..now the taste tester, once a gardener and now a gardening adviser and the keeper of danLrene older than dirt wisdom.
I am “Robo mom” as my sons call me because of all the gear I must use to survive which my oldest son who is my caretaker describes as “combat gear”…LOL. And my goal is to have people see me and think “I want what she has that makes her so happy”. Happiness is a choice..a daily choice. We are either survivors or we are victims. I am a survivor. Survivors focus on the solutions and ways to have a better life while victims are still talking about all the problems.
I will not lie and tell you life is all roses because it is not. Some days I can not move and lay on this bed in agony and some days I am able to sit in my power chair for a little while. But no matter what kind of day, I look for something good to focus on whether it is my dreams, my daisy, my son who is so good at taking care of me, my other son and dil and my Sweetpea, my family, my friends on line…no matter what..there is always something good to find in life if you look hard enough. Just remember it is how you think that determines what life is like.
“If you think you can or you think you can not, you will be right.”
I will be 65 this May of 2014. Life has been a journey of health issues since before I was 31 . I have a warrior attitude. Being a warrior does not mean you always win. It means you never quit trying. Life is what you make it and I choose to make mine as happy as possible no matter where I am in life.
I am blessed in that my oldest son is my caretaker and a great one at that. He has given up much to take care of me. He is an awesome caretaker and is always looking for ways to make life easier for me. I truly am thankful for his care. He is writing a book talking about “My Mother’s Keeper”..and I think it is going to be wonderful for so many are having to take care of their parents today.
My name is deb…not chronic illness or disability. Can you really see me or do you see my health? I hope you see me and my spirit.
Our baby Daisy. Daisy came to us from a dear friend after our Jack, as so many of you called “Wonder Dog” because of his blue cape, walked on to the next world. And she is such a joy and makes us smile and laugh.
Son and Daisy
My one room world from my hospital bed-it is filled with warmth and love from so many. Son designed my “Command Central” as he calls it. It is a long narrow table by my bed with a little flip down desk where I can sit on the edge of the bed and eat or I can sit up and type if I want to but I am “tummy typer supreme” as son calls it and many wonder how I type laying down like I do. Necessity is the mother of invention. My room looks into the kitchen where I can see son puttering around cooking as he is master of the kitchen now. :)
I still dream of going back to Italy, of us having one of those mini buses with a lift for my chair that son can convert into a motor home for us to make it easier when I have to go to Denver for surgeries and stuff. I still dream of learning how to tap dance…yes even on these crutches or laying on my hospital bed, just so I can say I did. All I need are a pair of size 11 tap shoes and a board at the foot of my bed. I dream of many things.
image from facebookemoticons123.blogspot.com
Ever since I was a little girl, I was told I was a dreamer. I can remember report cards with “day dreams” written on it. I think dreams are what keep us going. Without dreams…we have no hope. I dream of many things and I dream for many of you.
Follow Your Dreams, The Siren Called Out To Me
As I closed my eyes and fell deep into lovely sleep.
The dream siren called me with a promise to keep
I closed my eyes and looked deep in my soul
I could feel the wind blowing…it was so very cold
My dreams I had carried through year after year
They will never come true was my biggest fear
Wandering up one lane and down another
Remembering my dream since I became a mother
Land, open land and a place to be free
A small house to live in with a big evergreen tree
We mounted the buckboard with all we owned inside
And started over the mountain on this crazy dream ride
We felt like pioneers racing to the finish line for land
And the whole time we knew -The Lord had our hand
So do not be afraid to dream your dreams and try
Life is too short…open your wings up and fly
Dream I say and work the dream hard as you can
For it will be the best race that you ever ran.
© danLrene 2011
We all have dreams of what we want out of life. I remember Laverne on Laverne and Shirley saying her dream was to have a purple cashmere sweater. Well, our dream is to own land in the country and have a simple life style unencumbered by so much of what is in the world today. We have accomplished that dream in that we live on the outskirts of small town America in a much smaller and compact house but it has all we need: a cottage that visitors say they love because it is so serene here.
I love to write and have written for years. And hopefully will continue to write for many more years. This blog is about our journey getting here, our life after we reached the promised land and different middle of the night ramblings, posts to inspire others to keep fighting and keep living. Dreams are like cooking…we might get our grandparents old recipes, but we tend to alter them to suit ourselves. But, dream we must…for as long as we have hope in life…we have dreams. And even plain ole everyday people get dreams that come true. :)
I hope you enjoy and will subscribe and share my journey. Come join us at the foothills of the mountains where we have found a life of simplicity and serenity, in spite of all the health trials of one disabled woman and the courage of a son that chose to take care of her.
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