Life is tough enough. There are enough things we have to deal with in our lives but no matter how many things we deal with, I have found that being complacent only makes me lose out.  If I am not willing to stand up for what is right and more important stand up for myself….how can I expect anyone else to?

If we sit by and become complacent and put our heads in the sand, we’re complicit. 

Shelley Morrison

I think sometimes people feel like if they do not rock the boat and make any waves and keep the peace that they are doing something good. What it does is make us complicit to whatever is going on.  If we are complacent and do not do anything when we see a crime, it in essence makes us part of that crime.Well, the same is true if we do not stand up for ourselves. If we are complacent then we have no reason to complain for we became part of whatever is mistreating us.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

James Neil Hollingworth

To give you an example, the Social Services on the other side of the mountain treated me badly and cut off my services before it was even time. We had sold the house and you have so much time to put that money back into another house before it goes against you. My first reaction was just to cry in tears and frustration. And if it had not been for the Social Services on this side of the mountain, I might have just given up and been complacent about it. I might have said what is the use?

Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim.

–Elie Wiesel

I was encouraged to get a lawyer and I did and it took three or four conference calls with a judge and the social services people on the other side of the mountain and with my lawyer here with me in my room and then the judge told them to reinstate my services. He was quick to catch that they had terminated them too soon  and that this was taking too long and keeping me from getting the health care I needed. It affected my son as my caretaker, my home help, my medical…everything.  Had I been complacent, I would be sitting here today with no medical coverage.

I know sometimes it is hard to stand up for ourselves. Some of us find it easier to stand up for others or for causes than ourselves but we have to be our number one advocate. If we are not, then we can’t expect anyone else to join in our defense.

“If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get yourself knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.”

—    Thomas J. Watson, Jr.

Being complacent may be the easy way out but it is also the most expensive way out emotionally and sometimes financially. Being complacent does not just apply to ourselves but also to what we see in the world. We have no right to say we are against abuse if we see it and never report it.  Nor do we have a right to complain when things happen if we do not get out and fight for what is right. It also applies to politics. We should not complain about who is in office if we did not bother voting. Complacency makes us complicit. I love that for it is so true. If someone is in office and we do not think they should be there, if we did not vote…then we are complicit in putting them in office.

We should not be complacent but especially do not be complacent about what happens to you and to those around us. Sometimes we can not always pick the easy way out….which is usually to ignore whatever it is. Sometimes we have to put on our big girl panties…our big boy boxers…and do what is right even though we may make someone mad. We show people what they can do to us by what we accept. If we do not accept mistreatment, ugly talk, condescension, verbal attacks…whatever, then people will know and will not be as tempted to try it with us.

Cowardice asks the question – is it safe?
Expediency asks the question – is it politic?
Vanity asks the question – is it popular?
But conscience asks the question – is it right?
And there comes a time when one must
take a position that is neither safe, nor
politic, nor popular; but one must take
it BECAUSE it is right.
Dr. Martin Luther King

5 thoughts on “Complacency

  1. Ty very good. I just did this Wed when a person on the phone told me to bring in something electonic I knew didn’t need fixing I needed to know what to do as something caused it to not get power. She kept telling me to bring it in finally told her I heard that three times and I said I can’t and why. So finally Tim did help long distance but it was a cable in the back. She tried to tell me it was something internally. Makes me mad. LOL Dar

  2. Julie I am SOOO PROUD of you. It took me years to learn this and a wise person taught me that it was important to value yourself and realize that you are worth sticking up for. I was always apologizing for what I could not do and then I realized that I did not need to apologize. It was not my fault that i am disabled. It is just what happened and I am just good as anyone else. We tend to stand up for others or even animals and forget to stand up for ourselves. KUDOS to you girl…I am just beaming here for I know how you felt after you did it. It is like “omg I did it I did it”. Keep it up for you will find that each time gets easier. And don’t let anyone make you feel like you need to apologize for the things you can not do anymore. Be proud of the things you CAN do and if people can not accept it…it is their problem..not ours.
    HUGS my friend.

    • You are so right, that was how I felt afterwards; and I did sit back and say, “omg, I DID it!” LOL. And I did it calmly, in my own quiet, diplomatic, polite way … and got my message across in a way that I could accept, and that was accepted favorably. Hehehe. A year ago, I would not have been able to – as they say, I’ve come a long way in this part of my life journey. 🙂 xoxox

  3. Oh wow, Deb, you have no idea how much I needed to read this today! I struggled all morning trying to get up some courage to phone the local grocery store to complain about treatment I received yesterday from an insensitive cashier. I was so nervous, because I almost never do this – but my friends; and reading this post, made me realize you’re right. If I can’t stick up for myself, how can I expect anyone else to? With me, it’s still a case of being embarrassed that I’m a burden, that there are more and more things I’m always finding that I just can’t do by and for myself anymore. It’s extremely humbling to me. But I found some courage today to stand up for myself and my rights, and for that, I thank you! ~ Julie xoxox

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