Simply danLrene's Opinion

Work Your Dream

Tolerance-A Dual Concept

I was watching a National Geographic show this morning about a photographer searching for a person that he took a picture of in Afghanistan 17 years earlier and the photo made Time Magazine. He had wondered about her for she was a child there in a war-torn country and he wondered had she survived. She had and was married with children. But, more importantly, the show got me thinking about tolerance.

Tolerance is a dual concept. Some things we should have no tolerance of such as crime, mistreatment, drug use, child abuse, etc. And yet, it seems that the intolerance we should feel about these things is stemming over into all of life. People in general have become so judgmental and intolerant of others that there is constant fighting, fussing and hate going on from some.

So, what causes this intolerance. Are we unwilling to tolerate that which is different?  Are we unwilling to tolerate others from different cultures or different lifestyles? Are we unwilling to tolerate people who believe differently than we do? I remember reading posts on a forum and people were complaining of people from different cultures. One complained that this race or culture was too loud and over the top and another complained that this race or culture was too emotional. What makes a person intolerant of things that are different?

I see this when someone believes differently and people will shut others down because they do not believe the same thing as them. I have to wonder if their belief or faith is as strong as they think or do they secretly fear that others who say something different from what they believe will cause them to change their view and they can not stand that thought. I have strong beliefs such as on honesty and integrity. It does not threaten my belief system to hear someone say that it is ok to lie or steal. My beliefs are intact. But, I do have some beliefs that are not as strong and when others start talking a different path…I have two options…listen and either cement my view or change my view…..or totally deny them the opportunity to express their views thereby keeping me from feeling uncomfortable because someone disagrees with what I think.

I personally choose the first one. I listen and sometimes I change my view because the person talking has given me enough proof to show that what they are saying is true. And sometimes I just smile and nod and listen and know deep in my heart that what I believe is true. I do not have to shut them down or scream over their words that my way is right nor do I have to convince them that they are wrong. The world is made up of different beliefs. I do not have to belittle someone’s belief or tell them they are wrong or shout over them to keep them from expressing their views. I see this often on social media sites and it becomes like a war zone. And I want to say…just because someone has a different opinion than you does not make you wrong…it simply means you have a different opinion..so why are you being ugly and attacking the person who believes differently?  So, I wonder…what makes some people do this.You know me..I am always wondering. 🙂

I sometimes believe intolerance of different beliefs and cultures is just another word for fear. People fear what they do not know and fear what is different and the fear comes out in intolerance. I see people who literally put their fingers in their ears and start humming loudly so they can not hear another person state how they feel. While they may not physically do this…they are mentally. What are they afraid of?  Women would not have the right to vote if intolerance had ruled. Someone somewhere had to have a different opinion on the voting laws.  Many things have changed because someone somewhere has believed differently. Child labor laws changed because someone believed it was wrong and convinced others and a law was passed.

So, what makes us intolerant of some things and makes us tolerate other things. Why are people tolerating drug abuse, child abuse, crime, crooked politicians?  Why do we tolerate these things and do not tolerate simple differences in people because of culture or race?  Why are we not out there screaming that child abuse is wrong? Why are we not voting out of office politicians that are crooked or who do not serve the people they are there to represent? Why are we not reporting crime, abuse, fraud etc?  What makes us that way?  Is it because we feel like we can not do anything to those things but we can control how we act towards people?  What do you all think?

June 25, 2012 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

17 Comments »

  1. Sadly, another Russel Ray camping trip comes to an end………………..

    Comment by Russel Ray Photos | July 10, 2012 | Reply

  2. Great post/writing as always and interesting from my perspective in reading the dialogue between the writer and Ray; you are both seem to be saying the very same things, just differently… STAND UP…. thanks friend and both of you for sharing your thoughts and “feelings” that are passion filled; from two that are STANDING STRONG in a world where many choose not to as evidenced by the “likes” yet no comments… wonder how Sandusky is doing?

    Comment by SHERRY E SHOWALTER | June 26, 2012 | Reply

    • thanks sherry. Yes indeed…stand up and stand for something or you will fall for everything. My favorite…when you are complacent..and don’t stand up…you are complicit. hugs my friend and welcome home.

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | June 26, 2012 | Reply

  3. You say we tolerate those things and I say we don’t. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

    Comment by Russel Ray Photos | June 25, 2012 | Reply

    • I do understand your thoughts ray and thank you for sharing and talking. Just because we have different views does not make either one of us wrong…just different.

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | June 25, 2012 | Reply

      • Totally agree, but I’ll re-emphasize that if you know something about someone who’s doing something wrong, speak up. You can start a Facebook page about it, Tweet about it, put a video on YouTube, blog about it, even create a web site about it. Do not be silent!

        Comment by Russel Ray Photos | June 25, 2012

      • Don’t worry Ray…I do stand up. I believe if I am complacent..then I am complicit with whatever it going on. And this proved a point here…we each believe a little differently than each other…and yet we are accepting that and tolerating the different views..which shows that tolerance..good tolerance..comes in many forms. Some people..and I have had experience in this..if you disagreed with them..they would throw an absolute nasty ugly fit and stormed off and hated you for the rest of their lives so to speak. People should be able to disagree and still be friendly.

        Comment by danLrene ©2011 | June 25, 2012

      • One of the reasons why I love the Internet is because I get to go beyond city boundaries, county boundaries, state boundaries, and even country and continent boundaries, to see more of the seven billion people on Earth. It’s very interesting.

        Comment by Russel Ray Photos | June 25, 2012

      • oh yes. It is a window to the world for me. 🙂

        Comment by danLrene ©2011 | June 25, 2012

  4. Maybe if you had left off your last paragraph:

    “So, what makes us intolerant of some things and makes us tolerate other things. Why are people tolerating drug abuse, child abuse, crime, crooked politicians? Why do we tolerate these things and do not tolerate simple differences in people because of culture or race? Why are we not out there screaming that child abuse is wrong? Why are we not voting out of office politicians that are crooked or who do not serve the people they are there to represent? Why are we not reporting crime, abuse, fraud etc? What makes us that way? Is it because we feel like we can not do anything to those things but we can control how we act towards people? What do you all think?”

    We are not tolerating drug abuse, child abuse, crime, crooked politicians. We ARE screaming that child abuse is wrong. We ARE putting crooked politicians in prison. We ARE reporting crime, abuse, fraud, etc. That’s why Enron went bankrupt. That’s why so many banks failed a few years ago. Etc.

    The problem with politicians is that the only politicians who are corrupt, crooked, and not representing their constituents are the politicians who don’t represent us. That’s why 85% of politicians are re-elected. Until you agree that your politician needs to be booted out, and I do the same about my politician, then we’re just back where we started, with the same politicians in office yet again.

    I do happen to like most of my politicians — my two Senators, my congressional representative — so I’m not going to be voting against them. On the other hand, I despise John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Mitt Romney, etc., so I think those people who voted for them should decide not to vote for them…….. See where we are?

    Comment by Russel Ray Photos | June 25, 2012 | Reply

    • Ray, I think until we know why we tolerate things like I mentioned but will not stand up and say it is wrong to discriminate against certain lifestyles or faiths etc…then we will continue as we are. People are not all standing up for things and I truly do believe it is because of several things. One, I think people feel helpless and feel like standing up against the government or something like child abuse, or when it comes to voting..and feel that it is useless. And we need to find a way to change that. I think that being intolerant of the more human things..culture differences, race, orientation, etc is easier than it is to fight “city hall” as the expression goes. And until we can talk about it and that is not shouting debates about it but talk about it and see why we tend to back down on some things and not on others..then we will remain where we are with things as they are.

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | June 25, 2012 | Reply

  5. No, no, no! Do not shut up! That’s exactly what I’m trying to say. If you know something about someone — drug abuse, corrupt politicians, women and child abuse, animal abuse — by all means, SPEAK UP! But don’t just make generalizations; they don’t help anyone. Generalizations are just as bad as not doing anything.

    Comment by Russel Ray Photos | June 25, 2012 | Reply

    • Ray…that is exactly what my post was about. To encourage people to stand up with what they know. To put the questions out there so they would think about it and ask and then decide they did not want to tolerate anymore.

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | June 25, 2012 | Reply

  6. Those that have been exposd in the media, taken to court, and removed have not been tolerated, right?

    Those that are yet to be exposed, I would ask, How do you know they are corrupt? Do you have proof? If so, expose them. This is the world of the Internet, Facebook, Twitter, personal blogs, etc. I say exposed them if you have proof. However, making unsubstantiated accusations can get you in hot water.

    So I think you have answered your own question. You seem to be tolerating everything that you are against tolerating. You seem to have made judgments about what friends and family members are doing, yet unless you are intimately familiar with those people, you can’t know. Can you wonder? Sure! We all do. But with seven billion people on Earth, there are bound to be people who are not like us and don’t wonder. Sometimes people aren’t capable of picking up the clues.

    A good example is the recent suicide of Junior Seau, an extremely popular former professional football player who lived here in San Diego, grew up here, and played football for the San Diego Chargers. He had a wife, three children, and a whole community of friends and acquaintances. And not a single person could see the clues that he was depressed and suicidal?

    So I would caution about judging someone unless you are sleeping with them. Even then, Junior’s wife, mom, dad, etc., didn’t see those clues.

    I happen to be gay, and I live in a homophobic conservative religious political extremist fanatical area of San Diego County, so I understand intolerance and prejudice. It causes me to be a realist. When I go out, I won’t show public displays of affection with my husband (we got legally married in 2008), even though the straight guy and gal on the street corner are just one motion away from doing it on the sidewalk…………..

    Comment by Russel Ray Photos | June 25, 2012 | Reply

    • oh my Ray..I seem to have struck a nerve in you. I have not accused any name in my post. Whom did you see me accuse? If you find it so offensive…please feel free to not read but telling me that I am going to get in hot water and how I have judged friends and family is nothing but doing what I said in the original thread…shouting me down to shut me up. Please do not attack me because you do not like the post. Just do not read it.

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | June 25, 2012 | Reply

  7. I think that we actually do not tolerate drug abuse, child abuse, crime, crooked politicians, etc.

    The California prisons are full of people who were simply doing marijuana, which I think should be like alcohol. Feel free to do it in your own home but don’t go out into public all drugged up. If we would legalize that specific drug, we could probably solve all of our budget deficits.

    Not all politicians are crooked; they just seem that way because we don’t agree wtih the system. Unfortuntely, the ones to change the system are the politicians, and they are not going to do it in my lifetime. The actually crooked politicians do get caught and put in prison, like my own former representative, Randy “Duke” Cunningham.

    The problem is that as the world continues to become overpopulated — straight people should learn how to use condoms — and more interconnected, we hear about things much more rapidly, which seems to indicate that we tolerate it. I just don’t think it’s true. We simply don’t have enough law enforcement officers to do the job required, mainly because we dont’ have money in the budget, which brings me back to legalizing marijuana.

    Comment by Russel Ray Photos | June 25, 2012 | Reply

    • I did not say all politicians were corrupt. I said why do we tolerate corrupt politicians for there are some out there that have been exposed in the media, taken to court and removed from office and some that are yet to be exposed. As far as child abuse…anytime a person turns their head to a child being mistreated..that is tolerating child abuse and too much goes on for someone somewhere to not know. One child recently died..and not one family member ever spoke up and they knew she was being abused. That is tolerating child abuse. Sadly, the rate of child abuse is way too high and if more people stepped up just like if more people stepped up when they see fraud of systems…it would not happen so much.
      I have no qualms about marajauna. I think as long as alcohol is legal..the other should be. But marajauna is not the only drug out there that is being misused and people are dying from…cocaine, heroin, meth..and the list goes on but how many of us will stand up and tell friends or family members that they need to stop and get help and if they do not then we will not be part of their life? Not many…we will “tolerate” it because it is too uncomfortable to confront a loved one on drugs or alcohol.
      Tolerating by general people has nothing to do with the law enforcement but has to do with what we are willing to stand up for. While abuse, etc are against the law…not tolerating a specific group because they are different is not illegal. It is sad to me..but not illegal.
      The truth is that each of us can probably say that they do not tolerate this or that like crime or child abuse but in other areas we may find that we are more judgmental. While we can really only speak for ourselves, if we are watching when we are out and about ..we will see intolerance every day and prejudice..and that is sad to me.

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | June 25, 2012 | Reply


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