Simply danLrene

Work Your Dream

Complacency Can Kill You In Many Ways

I have heard the quote so many times before that says to stand up for something even if you end up standing alone. I believe in standing up for what is right but even more important, I have learned to stand up for myself. It took me years to learn this because it is so much easier to be complacent.

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I believe that we are complacent because of fear. It is so much easier to just go along with the crowds than it is to say “no, stop! This is wrong”.   And we do this at times even when it is something harmful being done to ourselves.  We become desensitized and think it is normal and we do not stand up for ourselves. And I believe…notice I say “I believe”..because this is just my opinion…I believe that we do not stand up for ourselves because we do not have self confidence and when bad things are happening or we are being used or whatever…it is at least attention and a form of “validation” to ourselves.  What we can not step back and see is that it really is not validation in a good sense. It is validating our feelings of unworthiness and our feelings that we deserve the treatment we get.  But it is not validating us in a good way.

Have you ever been out with friends and some started putting down another person and you could see on that person’s face how much it hurt….and yet you did not tell the others to stop?  That is complacency. It was easier to just sit back and let it happen than it was to risk making those doing the making fun of mad at you.

We teach people how to treat us and if we do not treat ourselves with respect and love and if we accept less than that from others, then they learned that we accept that and they will continue doing it. Complacency can kill us in many ways. It can kill our self respect, our moral values, our faith, our friendships, and even at times can put us physically in harms way.

It took me a long time to learn that my faith is my faith and I should not stand with those that are putting down my faith or talking in terms that are denigrating to others, or using language that is filled with sexual content and swearing since I do not believe in doing that. How many times have you stood with people and laughed at a filthy joke when in reality you were aghast and embarrassed but did not want to make the others mad? I have done that. And then one day I realized that I do not have to tolerate that. I do not have to make an ugly scene. I have choices and can use them. I can just quietly excuse myself. I can say “Please, if you are going to talk like this I am going to leave”, I can tolerate it, I can go along with it but the choices are mine. And I now choose to walk away from or to ask them to not do that in my presence. I learned that I am worth standing up for.

stand upimage from

I decided one day that values without committing to them was no values at all. If I believe in something, then I should be willing to stand up for it…even if I stand alone. I am worth it and so are you. I also learned that if I do not stand up for myself, then I am in fact teaching others by my example that I am not worth standing up for and they will not stand up for me either.

Standing up is not always easy.  I now equate complacency with laziness. It is the easy way out.  I had to practice in front of a mirror to learn how to stand up for things and for myself and others. And practice I did. The first time I did it in a real situation, I felt like my whole body was jello and shaking all over. But, I learned that even when my voice shook, the determination I had in standing up for what was right came through. And I felt such exhilaration and was so proud of myself that each time after became easier. So, try it sometime. Stand up even when you stand alone…and even when your voice shakes.

speakimage from

January 27, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

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