I have great respect for Dr. Phil. He reminds me of my dear friend Dr. Sherry E. Showalter (blog at www.drses.wordpress.com ). She will tell you that she may not always tell you what you want to hear, but she will always tell you what you need to hear. And that is how Dr. Phil is. He is well-educated in the field of psychology training even though he no longer has a practice but has chosen to use his skills as a way to help others… He sends people to the right professional person to get help if they want it. Many call him an entertainer and he is entertaining and expressive. He is also very intelligent and knows a lot about life.
Today I was watching the show I recorded yesterday and he talks about how life is no longer like it used to be. It is no longer where we can believe people until they show us different. We have to always be aware of what is going on and be willing to listen to our gut instinct. He has written a book called “Life Codes” that talks about this. I would like to read the book.
Among other Life Code lessons, you will learn to:
- Accept that “life is a game” and decide whether you want to play or be played.
- Identify the BAITERs (Backstabbers, Abusers, Imposters, Takers, Exploiters and/or Reckless people) through the “Evil Eight” Identifiers.
- Evaluate how well this full-contact sport known as life is being played and learn the steps, traits and techniques necessary to win at everything — every day.
- Recognize that much of life is a negotiation and learn to successfully negotiate across all areas: work, marriage and family.
- Adopt a new “Life Code” by operating from a winner’s playbook with the most competitive tactics — the “Sweet 16” — for winning in the real world.
- Implement the new “Life Code” and learn how it not only applies to them, but also to their family and their role as parents. ©Dr. Phil
Baiters are people who come into your life and take it over in a way that they are taking advantage of you and many times, they slip in and you do not even realize it. Many people get taken advantage of over and over because they make the choice not to look at what the other person is doing….whether it is a friend, a significant other, someone you believe in or whatever.
He listed ways to see baiters coming and how they get into your life and ways to avoid them. I have sat here writing them all down and I give all the credit of this to Dr. Phil and not to myself. These are his words.
Evil Eight characteristics- ways to see baiters coming
1. Arrogant entitlement–have no respect for authority
2. Lack empathy for others
3. no remorse/guilt for what they do
4. irresponsible/self-destructive behavior
5. thrive on drama
6. brag about outsmarting
7. short-term relationships
8. Fantasy world/delusional
Nefarious 15–Tactics Baiters use to get to people
1. infiltrate your life
2. create conspiratorial confidants
3. Depend on approval
4. Build a file
5. misdirect and obfuscate
6. blame others
8. Frauds and cheaters
9. isolate victims
10. abuse authority
11. press hot buttons
12. Revisionist historian..change the past
13. two faced/gossip
15. passive-aggressive sabbatager
He went on in the book to explain ways to avoid these baiters. I am sure we have all had baiters in our lives. I know I have and they have taken me to the bank…financially, physically and emotionally. It took me a long time to realize that I was in charge of my life and I have the ability to avoid these kind of people. This is what I call “editing” your life and removing that which makes your life more stressful.
The problem comes when people see the evidence presented by friends that someone in their life is taking them to the cleaners, is mistreating them and using them…and the person being misused refuses to listen and refuses to believe that the person could be like that.
One of the best things I learned from my dear friend Dr. Sherry is that we teach people how to treat us and unless we are willing to do the work to teach people to treat us with respect and honor and are willing to accept no less, then we will continue to be the victims of baiters.
Check out his show and see this weeks shows and you will find the one for Tuesday where he talks to a woman who was beaten with a bat and ended up in the hospital and yet her “baiter” wrote her from prison telling her how it happened and how he was holding her arm down because she was trying to hit him and the bat happened to be in that hand and hit her in the head.
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