Simply danLrene's Opinion

Work Your Dream

Which Wolf Do You Feed?

Life is full of wisdom even when the path is gnarled and full of potholes. My faith has always sustained me in the worst of times and I have learned many lessons along the way. No matter how rough the journey has gotten, I have always had the little spark of hope in my heart and that happy place that keeps me going.

One lesson that bears repeating came in this wonderful quote:

“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. Being alive is a gift, being happy is a choice..”

There comes a time in life we have to decide is what we are doing worth putting up with all the drama and people who create it in your life. I have decided that drama is an addiction. Some people can not live without drama in their lives. Everything must be a dramatic turn of events and each one fuels them until the next one.

I have even seen people, when there was no drama…create drama because they needed the adrenalin rush it provides. Where some want the fly by the seat of your pants, drama in full action life….I desire the quiet rock seat, listening to the melodic sound of water tricking over the rocks, the birds singing in the background and the rustle of wildlife in the bushes.

For me, it became time to walk away from the drama and be around those that bring laughter and joy to my life a long time ago. When one lives with chronic pain like I do, choosing what is the best for us becomes as urgent as going to the ER when feeling really bad. The negativity zaps our strength and weakens our immune system and so making a choice to leave the negativity, drama and the people who cause it one days becomes imperative for our life.

I think it was after lung surgery that I realized that I had to make choices in my life so that I would be around a lot longer. I had to find the things that kept my life as stress free as possible. That isn’t saying a little excitement is bad. It isn’t. But, excitement is not drama. Excitement is the feeling of anticipation over that box loved ones are sending you or the excitement over seeing family and friends. That is not drama. Drama is when something is always wrong or something bad is always about to happen. or when a simple thing is turned into something dramatic when it is not.

My favorite example is someone I know from years ago who used to come in sobbing with dramatic emotional animations of one who has just lost their closest friend/relative etc and when you asked them what was wrong, they replied something along these lines……(are you ready?)   “My friend’s uncle’s brother’s wife’s friend died. I met them once five years ago and I am just devastated. *sob* *sob*”  She had nothing bad going on in her life and needed something dramatic to get attention for her “broken heart”.   Yes, it was sad the friend died, but my friend’s display was out of context for having met someone “one” time five years ago. And she actually went to the funeral and put on this display of emotion and hung close to the grieving family.

This is one of my favorite stories. The meaning in it is wisdom beyond words. And the lesson is….whatever part of us we feed or put the energy into…that is what we will be. And that lesson is we will be someone kind, loving, caring, a survivor, etc OR we will be someone who is filled with anger, hate, victim thoughts, vindictiveness. And it is a choice and it is up to us to choose.

The Two Wolves

A Cherokee elder was teaching his grandchildren about life.

He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, hatefulness, and lies.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, humbleness, kindness, friendship, generosity, faith, and truth.

This same fight is going on inside of you, and inside every other person, too.”

The children thought about it for a minute. Then one child asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”

The Cherokee elder replied…

“The one you feed.”

I am a person of faith. I also believe that we all have the same higher power as some call it…whether you call that higher power God, Creator, Grandfather, Savior, Christ…no matter what you call that higher power, it is the supreme being and if we are not careful, we can become so rigid on faith and that ours is the only right way that it is as if we overdosed on Viagra and instead of inspiring others to have a faith, we turn them away.

I learn many things from many religions. I have a very eclectic background on religions…born a Presbyterian, married a Seventh Day Adventist, divorced and became a Baptist, was a “Nature is God” person for a while, did not have a “faith” for a while, became a Catholic and now am a Baptist..again. What I learned was, there is a grain of truth in all but that my faith comes from a deep personal relationship with God, Creator, Grandfather, Savior, Christ, Mother Earth….and each one of the faith’s above gave me pieces upon which my foundation of faith is built.

And this story above of the two wolves speaks to me for it tells of life and what choices we must make. Do we give into the hatred, jealousy, envy, greed, arrogance, laziness, self-pity and all the other negative emotions and let them rule us or do we foster and feed love, joy, kindness, truth, friendship, charity and being a survivor?  Which wolf do we feed?

I realized that my happiness is dependent on me. I have had many ask me how I could be happy being disabled like I was, living in the pain I am in and the trials I go through and have gone through..all the horrors. And as is my standard reply….my happiness lies inside. If I depend on external things to make me happy, then when those things disappear..what will I do then? Happiness is a place within…a feeling of contentment no matter how little we have in life.

I do not live my life as a sick person. I know that sounds crazy but I do not sit and think about how sick I am all the time and about all the things I can not do anymore. I think of all the things I can still do, work on new ways to do things I can no longer do like watching my grand baby ride in the rode in Georgie on the internet, laying here on my bed. And I live my life just like anyone else. I find that if I focus only on my health and the sickness, it will soon saturate me so much that I will not find anything good left in life and I can not live like that. So, I do not feed that wolf. I focus on life and living and being happy.

I think we set ourselves up for failure in happiness because society has trained us to believe that if we just had that shiny red bike, we would be happy. If we had this wonderful home, we would be happy, or this beautiful outfit, we would be happy. If we just had our health, we would be happy. Well, guess what..I do not have my health and have not for 32 years and I am happy and have been for a long time. I do not have the shiny new car or the fancy home or all the name brand clothes and yet I am happy. Why?  Because happiness is not those things. Things bring us joy..not happiness.

When we make people, places, things, new toys, etc our happiness..oh yes, we get joy. And the joy and excitement last but a short time and then once again we are discontent. We see this a lot around the world now. This is probably the biggest thing that led son and I to seek a simpler life…one with less material things and more things like love and joy and family.

And there-in began our quest to fill the dream for the future..the dream of a simpler life. A life without drama and negativity. We wanted a life focused on the simple pleasures in life…our loved ones, being in nature, enjoying being together, having a home that did not have a mortgage so big that we would be dead before it was paid off. We were feeding the good things in life and realizing that the good things were not materialistic things…they were the peace, contentment, joy, love and happiness in our lives. What wolf do you feed?

April 10, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: