Simply danLrene's Opinion

Work Your Dream

Do You Define Your Worth?

It took me y ears to realize this simple statement “your worth is not based on what others think of you”.  I was always defending myself, trying to prove to others how sick I really am, that I am not a bad person, etc. And then one day, I asked myself “why do I care what these people think?”   Now keep in mind that “these people” could mean strangers on the street, neighbors, people I worked around, friends, family, people online.

One day, I asked myself why I was letting someone else set the standard for me. So what if this person did not think I was really sick? I had all the medical papers to prove I was sick so why did I feel the urge to prove to everyone that I was really sick?  Why did I feel insecure about it? Why did it bother me if someone made comments like ‘boy, you must not be that sick, you are going out and go here and there”  or similar comments? Why was I letting others define who I was?

I am using chronic health to do this post but it could be about your job, your partner, your family, your home…whatever. Why do we let others define who we are. If you love your job and do the best you can…that is all that matters. When you place “making the most money” as a reason for taking a job and it is not a job you love, then you will be miserable the whole time. If you love your home, who cares whether it has two hundred  square feet or five thousand square feet. The size of your house, how much money you make, how many cars you have, how big or small your family is, how fantastic your kids are does not make you any better than anyone else.

We all live in our own situation and with our own dreams and desires. And we all have self-worth but when we let others define it…then they can take away our self-worth in a second. I talk about happiness being inside your heart and head…well, so is self-worth. I finally learned to say to people who wanted to make me feel like I was not that sick some years back when I appeared healthier than I am…”when you live in my shoes and have all that is wrong with you that I do, then you can tell me how sick I am or am not”.  I do not let them define me.

Some older than dirt wisdom I learned along the way is that we create who we are and we should define who we are by our actions and our words. No one else should be doing that and when we sit and worry because we can not make someone understand something about us such as our health, we are wasting precious moments. People who do not walk in our shoes will never understand. They might sympathize but they really do not get it and so why should we be letting them define us or even get upset when they do not get it?

Believe me when I say that being able to calmly look at people when they make comments like “I do not get it, how can you blah blah’ and then you can say “Of course you do not get it. You are not in my shoes” and turn away. We have to set the boundary for what we will accept. If someone wants to pick my life apart, I do not let them into my life. Period. That is a deal breaker just like lying and stealing from me is. I accept constructive criticism but I do not accept tearing down or attacking or being condescending with me. Those we have in our life should be supportive and loving and if they are not that, then the line should be drawn and we should quit allowing them to define who we are.

“You are only a loser if you quit while you are behind”

April 22, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Just so True

    Comment by JodI | April 22, 2013 | Reply


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