Simply danLrene's Opinion

Work Your Dream

What Lifestyle Do You Choose?

Have you ever thought about the things in your life that you embrace? Are they all what you really want to be embracing? I am not feeling too well and so I am laying here and it is 2 in the morning and my pain is high. I started thinking about the mindset people can have. We can be survivors. We can be victims and we can be what I call life style livers. They take the negative parts of their lives and embrace them as a lifestyle and it becomes all they focus on in life.

I am a survivor and have worked hard to get there. I find that many things in life I want to take on as a lifestyle but chronic health is not one of them. Neither is loss, or pain, or unemployment or divorce, etc. These are events and not a lifestyle. We choose our lifestyles. We do not choose chronic illness, unemployment, loss, etc.

Now, let me explain a little because I am sure by now some of my chronic illness readers are going “what do you mean we should not embrace our loss of health? It is our lifestyle.”  No, it really is not. Neither is losing your job, or your house, or your spouse, or a loved one any more than falling out of a tree is. Those are things that happen to us but we do not have to make our lives revolve around them.

Yes, my health issues take up space in my life but I do not wake up each morning and say ok…what does my health have planned for me today. I wake up with plans and I make ever effort to carry through with those plans.  Any yes, sometimes our health can demolish those plans. That does not mean I should never make plans or that I should decide that I am chronically ill and this is all my life is. It is not.

As I have laid here for the past week with my legs and feet swollen up and so painful it feels like someone set them on fire and then beat them with a hammer, I realized just how much of my life I do still have. I can still do art, I can still read, I can still play with my Daisy, I can still talk to friends, I can still enjoy my son’s cooking, I can still sit in my power chair on good times and help my son plant seeds at the growing table he made, I can still write, I can still laugh and enjoy life….so should I not be embracing those instead of the negative?

I personally prefer to embrace the positive and to make that my lifestyle. I set goals and yes, they are shorter term than what I did when I was well…but I still set them. I have dreams and ambitions and I have wants and desires. So, then why would I make my whole life be about being sick? Why should I take up time, of which I am in short supply of, and use it to worry about what I can not change? I can not change my health only strive to make it better quality and less pain for me.

I certainly do not want to live my life being “the chronically ill disabled woman in that house over there”. I want to leave memories for my sons and my granddaughter. I want to know that when I leave they remember my laughter and my smiles and my joking and the things I taught them and all my love I have for them. I do not want them to remember only hearing about sick things from me or about any other thing that has happened to me. I could spend a lot of time talking about all the bad things but what is the purpose?

Life is a choice. We can not control what life hands us but we can control how we deal with it and maybe that is part of the problem. Maybe some people just prefer to not deal with it and would rather embrace as a lifestyle that of being unemployed, divorced, chronically ill, etc. I personally find that a depressing way to live. I want joy and happiness in my life and that is what I choose. And so I choose to have as my lifestyle a life that is filled with those things that bring joy and happiness and to only take in smaller doses those things that happen to me that I have no control over.

If we limit ourselves, then that is exactly what we will have. Whether you think you CAN or you think you CAN’T….you will be right. I love that quote and yet many people do not get it. It means what you believe is going to happen is most likely what will happen. If you think your life is nothing but sickness, divorce, job loss, etc…then that is what it will be. And if you think your life is happy and filled with joy and adventures..then that is what it will be. We have the ability to choose. What do you choose?

if-you-want-to-be-sadimage from image from httpswww.facebook.compagesTraumatic-Brain-Injury-Support-Group180684948672011

April 28, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,

3 Comments »

  1. You are the most inspiring and positive thinking person I know. Always take away a wonderful message for the day.
    God bless.

    Comment by Ray's Mom | April 29, 2013 | Reply

    • oh bless your heart…thank you. What a sweet thing to say. HUGS

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | May 5, 2013 | Reply

  2. Thank you!

    Comment by Mona | April 29, 2013 | Reply


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