Simply danLrene

Work Your Dream

A New Twist On Personal Identity Theft

This is a topic that really hit me today as I was reading emails and one message was the inspiring moment. What happens when you make “something” your identity? People do it all the time. Parents can make their children their identity and become so obsessed on what their kids do that when it is the normal time for a child to be moving on into adulthood that panic sets in because the parent no longer knows who they are. I have seen people make careers, children, health issues, looks, etc be their end all about who they are. And then they fail to grow in other ways.

These things are not who we are. They are what we do, what we have, what has happened to us. I always tell people my health, my disabilities are not who I am but rather things I live with. If I cut myself down to one thing as my whole identity,  I am really committing identity theft…theft of my own identity. I am hiding, throwing away, stealing my own identity which is more than just one thing. Look at yourself and see what all you really do have about yourself. Ask someone to tell you what things they see about you. You are never “JUST” a mother or just a friend or an employee, or a chronically ill person or a wife, etc. Do not steal your own identity by shutting it away and focusing on just one thing.

I remember a friend from some years ago who had constant health issues and when the doctor would prescribe medicine, she would not take it because she was afraid it would make her well.  I know you all probably think who would be that way but it happens more often than we realize. She would never tell the doctor that she was not taking her medicine but she just hid the medicine.  She did not know that the doctors realized soon that she was not taking what they prescribed her. She would research medicine and automatically had any side effects the medicines had.

She had made being sick her whole life and the thought of giving up that role terrified her. She was afraid that she would be nothing without it. She woke up with talk of sickness being her first words. She lived, ate, slept, moved, talked illness. She knew no other language it seemed and the thought of a doctor healing her sent her into panic because she really did not know what she would do without it. If she was told that her blood tests were fine the first comment she would make to friends or loved ones would be something to the effect of  “well that might be gone but I still have this over here”.  She could not stand to not have something she could say was wrong physically.

People can do the same thing with people, places, jobs, children, pets, hobbies, etc. They can make it their whole existence until nothing much else seems to exist. Everything centers around their own obsession. Watching Dr. Phil the other day on a show about reborn dolls, he said he had been asked was this an obsession. He said the easiest way to know was if whatever it was had taken over your whole life and you had no room for anything else then you might want to consider that you were obsessive.

I have never as sick as I am made sickness my whole world. I just plain refuse to. There is too much life to miss. I love to do photography, to draw and paint, to read, to write, to cook even though now I am the helper and son does the cooking, to play with Daisy. There is a lot I can do from this hospital bed and make my life more whole. I also make myself get up and walk a few steps to try to keep my muscles. I know what it is like to not be able to move like a normal person and it is not as much fun as someone who really can move but tries to act like they can not. It is really hard. So, I work to fight that.

Never make something your whole identity. You are more than that. When you do that it is like taking a big, beautiful house with all the lights off and slowly turning them off one by one until only one light remains and that is the spot you sit in. Gone is the world around you. When you lose the world around you because of circumstances beyond your control…that is one thing.  When you deliberately shut off your life for whatever reason and narrow it down to one thing..whether that is focusing only on chronic illness, children, people, hobbies, jobs, etc… then you are hurting yourself and are effectively pushing everyone else away from you. And you are effectively committing identity theft….your own identity.

May 3, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Very good message. God bless.

    Comment by Ray's Mom | May 4, 2013 | Reply

    • thanks you. I love writing but has been hard of late but since the surgeries…is getting easier. 🙂

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | May 5, 2013 | Reply

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