Simply danLrene's Opinion

Work Your Dream

Things Happy People Do Differently

Many studies have been done on people who are happy and those that are not and what kind of skills happy people do differently. Happy people work towards solutions and do not just sit focused on the problems and all that is wrong. Ask yourself when you speak….which comes out first? Mention of bad things or mention of the good things in life?  Well the good news is, you can retrain your brain to think more positively and have a happier life.

retrain your brain

image and info from capiche.us

So, as I was reading, I came across ten things that Happy people do differently. As I looked at the list I was mentally checking off which ones I do and which ones I might not be doing. What I realized is that I am pretty much the happy person that everyone thinks I am. So, what you see with me is what you get.

Does this mean I never feel sad, disappointed, etc? No, it means that I focus on getting past the sad instead of reiterating the bad, painful, etc things over and over. If I were to sit and talk about all the things wrong with me and all the pain I live with, my blog would be filled with nothing but misery. When I became disabled, the diagnosis list filled a whole page listing them one under the other. Someone asked me today how I lived with all these things wrong with me and part of me and all the medical gear I had to use and this is how I answered them.

These are things I use in the picture below….they are not me…Deb.  I just accept them as part of my life but I do not focus on them. They are not collectibles like badges or dolls. They are just things to assist my life to help make the quality better…ranging from hospital bed, oxygen, power chair, roll in shower and roll in shower chair, and the list goes on…all the way down to bottles and bottles of prescription meds and bottles of supplements and boxes of breathing meds. They are not part of me and do not define who I am.  Notice I am not in the bed? That is because I wanted to take the picture to emphasize that these things are NOT me. They are just things that I use as part of daily life.

Picture 039

And this is me…Deb…eclectic, dreamer, writer, artist, photographer, mother, grandmother and the list goes on..and most of all…happy. And why am I happy?  Because I focus on the future and on the happier aspects of my life. We can not always control what happens to us but we can control how we respond or react to it. We can choose to be happy and choose to realize that others have it much worse than we do. That is what “practicing gratitude” is about….being grateful for the fact that we are still able to be here and recognizing the things we still have instead of always focusing on the things we do not have. An example is when my legs are hurting me so badly I remind myself how lucky I am that I still have legs to hurt for there are many who have no legs. Being grateful for what you still have helps you to not fall into the trap of bemoaning all you no longer have or no longer can do.

this is me

Below are things listed that a researcher found that happy people do differently. How many do you do? It is quite a challenge to look at it and honestly assess where we are at on our journey. I have been doing this over 32 years so I am a little further down the road than many and have learned coping strategies that have helped me to keep a positive attitude and be a positive influence to those around me instead of a negative one. And yet, I still find things I need to work on to maintain my positive attitude and keep my happiness in balance.

Things Happy People Do Differently

1. They build a strong social fabric. Happy people stay connected to their families, neighbors, places of worship, and communities. These strong connections act as a buffer to depression and create strong, meaningful connections.

2. They engage in activities that fit their strengths, values, and lifestyle. The ones that work best allow me to practice acts of kindness, express gratitude, and become fully engaged.

3. They practice gratitude. Gratitude does the body good. It helps you cope with trauma and stress, increases self-worth and self-esteem when you realize how much you’ve accomplished, and often helps dissolve negative emotions.

4. They have an optimistic thinking style. Happy people rein in their pessimistic thinking in three ways. First, they focus their time and energy on where they have control. They know when to move on if certain strategies aren’t working or if they don’t have control in a specific area. Second, they know that “this too shall pass.” Happy people “embrace the suck” and understand that while the ride might be bumpy at times, it won’t last forever.

5. They know it’s good to do good. Happy people help others by volunteering their time. Research shows a strong association between helping behavior and well-being, health, and longevity. Acts of kindness help you feel good about yourself and others, and the resulting positive emotions enhance your psychological and physical resilience.

6. They know that material wealth is only a very small part of the equation.

7. They develop healthy coping strategies. there are five factors or areas of growth after a challenging event: renewed appreciation for life, recognizing new paths for your life, enhanced personal strength, improved relationships with others, and spiritual growth. Happy people become skilled at seeing the good that might come from challenging times.

8. They focus on health. Happy people take care of their mind and body and manage their stress. Focusing on your health, though, doesn’t just mean exercising. Happy people actually act like happy people. They smile, are engaged, and bring an optimal level of energy and enthusiasm to what they do.

9. They cultivate spiritual emotions. There is a growing body of science suggesting that religious people are happier, healthier, and recover more quickly from trauma than nonreligious people.

10. The have direction and work “towards” goals and not just sit in the past or in the problem. They work towards solutions instead of focusing on the problems all the time.

info from info from capiche.us

she loved life and it loved backimage from shelovedlife.com

 

 

May 7, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. AWESOME… YOU are and I am grateful you have things to make you keep going in your AWESOMENESS…

    Comment by SHERRY E SHOWALTER | May 8, 2013 | Reply

  2. Reblogged this on Dr. Sherry E. Showalter – "Keepin It Real" and commented:
    give yourself the thoughts and the movement you deserve…

    Comment by SHERRY E SHOWALTER | May 8, 2013 | Reply

  3. Amen Sista!

    Comment by Dayna McCleery | May 8, 2013 | Reply

  4. That top poster should be in every classroom.
    Have you seen the school that has a wall where kids stick up post-it notes that describe small acts of kindness someone did for them? It’s exploded – kids are behaving better and learning to be grateful, too.
    Oh, tap shoes -we made them in 9th grade by using 6 round silver metal 1inch furniture coasters ( hardware store) pushed into old tennis shoes…you can tap in a chair (ask our teachers) against a wall – even end of a bed or on the ceiling while on your back in a bunk bed…drove parents nuts…but it was “homework” from PE!
    HA!

    Comment by philosophermouseofthehedge | May 8, 2013 | Reply


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