Simply danLrene

Work Your Dream

What Song Do You Have Playing?

It is funny. With all I have wrong physically, even laying here in a hospital bed, oxygen on and pain high…that I have people say “boy you are in bad shape”…my first reaction is “I am?”.  I think it is because I do not sit and spend all my energy thinking about or whining about “my poor life as a chronically ill/disabled person” like some do and they attract those just like them. I spend my time living my life and getting the joy from it that is still there. I do not sit around thinking about how sick I am.  It is all in how you view it and in spite of the above, I view my life as still full and filled with happiness and love.To me, it is still a beautiful world.

video by atyourserviceable

My friend Sherry says all the time “if you do not like the view..change your focus”. She is one that has been a real inspiration…even when she would push me to keep going and yell at me to “fight damn it fight” when I would get tired.  And then there are people that I try to push to get past the “feel sorry for me” stage but then one day you realize they are still in that stage because they want to be and you can not help them out of it if they do not want to help themselves. And you realize that they even bring your spirit down.

My sons and those close to me know what a real fighter I am and how I simply refuse to let my health steal my life from me. I also think about how my actions affect those around me. I certainly do not want my son, who is my caretaker, or my other son and grandbaby, to have as their last memories of me to be a person who whines, complains, and just makes everyone miserable around them. The only people who like to be around someone like that are the ones that do it themselves and then they get tired of it because they want the attention too.

I want my sons to remember their mom being a warrior, to remember their mom’s smiles and laughter and to remember the zany moments like king fu granny yesterday. I want them to remember and learn that no matter what life deals you, someone else always has it worse and if you look around you will find plenty to be thankful for. I do not want my children or my precious Sweetpea to remember their mom/Mimi as “poor pitiful chronically ill Mom/Mimi”.

Being disabled/chronically ill is not who I am. I can make it all about who I am and constantly tell people…just in case the hospital bed, power chair, box of meds, forearm crutches, constant pain, etc  LOL  does not alert them to it. But, I want to have such an inner light shining that people say they never even stopped to think about me being sick because I did not lay around moaning and groaning. I want to be someone that lets their light shine so brightly that I give light to those who feel they are in darkness and it makes them see a small glow and know that they can keep going.

video by gree47

I think one of the biggest thrills to me was when I sent my friend Sherry a picture of me and she said it was a good picture and I told her “yeah, if I could have had it taken without the silver sticks (forearm crutches) on my arms. And do you know what she said? She told me that she never even notices the fore arm crutches, hospital bed or even the power chair when she sees me or talks to me. She just sees me and my “shining spirit” as she called it. How awesome is that to have someone to so see the heart of me that they do not see all the things that are part of my health.

Some days I lay here reading and want to stick a virtual post it or a real one …on people’s heads that says “stop yer dang whining” because they have so much going for them but are fighting so hard to convince the world how bad off they are.And I want to launch into the song ♫♫ get up offa that thing and dance til you feel better♫♫

video by Gian2812

And then I see beautiful people who are friends on Facebook or in real life, who are suffering challenges and seldom make a complaint but are working to keep their light shining just like my friend Sherry and who bring a glow to those around them and I want to set off balloons and streamers and start singing ♫♫ Celebration time..come on! There’s party going on right here” ♫♫ because they just bring that much light to those around them.

video by TropicalParadiseBaby

Life is a journey, not a destination and how we travel is up to us. It is not about reaching a place but about how we climb over all the hurdles in our lives for there will be hurdles. There will be pain and sorrow, disappointments, successes and failures, joys, days that fly by and days that seem 50 hours long, dreams that happen, dreams that do not…but as long as we keep moving forward we are making success. It is all about the climb and how we choose to climb.

video by VideoLyrics0

May 16, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. What an awe inspiring music filled demonstration of YOU… as you always shine, you outshine the sun even on days that I am asounded by your pain, your tiredness and through my own tears of empathy, “yell at you” to FIGHT DAMNNIT…just fight you are a warrior of such beautiful strong spirit and I am honored to call you friend… YOU are all that many would or should fight to be whether fine or ill, you are so much more than courage, faith, hope… and I admire YOU the person, the heart and spirit that makes you uniquely you, the warrior. Do you have forearm crutches and a power chair? hmmm, never noticed! xo

    Comment by SHERRY E SHOWALTER | May 16, 2013 | Reply

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