Your Time Will Come
Yesterday was a long day with all the doctor trips but an event happened that just made my adrenalin rush. I was sitting under the door cover waiting on my son to park the van so that we could go in to see the doctor. A woman pulled up in a fancy van, very new looking and turned and you could tell she was speaking sharply to an elderly woman in the passenger seat.
I sat in amazement as I watched the woman get out, slam the door, go to the back of the van and start snatching on a walker. In doing so, I suddenly heart a whooshing sound like escaping gas. I am looking all around wondering what it is and realize it is coming from the area of the woman.
I say “what is that?” and she ignores me. I again say “what is that sound????” and she yells at me in a very ugly tone “It is my Mother’s damn oxygen! I don’t know how to turn it off”. I call to my son who is about three car lengths away and say “son, please hurry…can you turn off this oxygen”.
The woman all but slams the walker up to the open passenger door and says “here is your walker Mother. TURN OFF YOUR OXYGEN” in the most hateful voice I have ever heard.My son starts to jog and before he can get there a man behind me steps out quickly and reaches over and turns it off. I thank the man profusely. The woman never says a word and just glares at her mother. Her mother appears to be in her late seventies.
It is very obvious that the woman resents taking care of her mother. I mean glaringly obvious. I look from them to my son and think again how fortunate I am that I have such a loving and caring son. Does he sacrifice to take care of me? Yes, I am sure he does but he never acts like he resents it.
We get inside and are boarding the elevator and the woman with the walker is slowly trying to make her way through the entry doors. My son stands with his finger on the “door” button and asks her does she want in. She looks around almost dazed and confused saying she needs to see where she is supposed to go. The daughter is not in sight and I just want to cry for this woman. It is hard enough to be chronically ill, disabled or elderly but to be treated in such a way is inhumane. Son helps her and we all head up on the elevator. And I felt my anger rising at this daughter’s actions.
So, this is my message to this woman and any others that feel they have to take care of their parents/spouse/loved one
…whether you are doing it because you have no choice, doing it because you want to or you are doing it because you do not want their money to go towards assisted living but to you..no matter the reason…if you resent taking care of your parent/loved one/child/adult child….I could go on..then just KNOW this.
One day…you will be there. One day your time will come. One day, you will need help and assistance to live. One day you will lose part of you either to accident, health, age, whatever, and one day you will need someone to take care of you. Is this how you want to be treated?
There is NO excuse good enough for mistreating someone sick, disabled, elderly, mentally challenged ..whatever….NO EXCUSE good enough for that kind of treatment. I do not care if they are the biggest bitch in the world, if they aggravate the stew out of you, if they whine, talk back, complain…there is no excuse in mistreating any living person or thing. SHAME on YOU if you are mistreating someone.
If you do not want to take care of them, let them be in assisted living where they can get care. If you resent taking care of them..then DON’T. Period. Very simple because resentment like this woman had yesterday leads to abuse and yes, the chronically ill, disabled, elderly, mentally challenged get abused every day and have no way to defend themselves.
And because I am a person of faith, I believe where it says “love your neighbor as yourself”…well that also means love your family and loved ones. This woman yesterday obviously loved herself very much judging by her vehicle, clothing, jewelry, hairdo, expensive cologne…but she appeared to have no love for her mother and she should be thanking and treasuring the time she has left with her mother instead of treating her like she is some horrible person because she can no longer take care of herself.
And I say thank you to those who are like my son here and love and take care of their parents because they want to. When we want to do something, the job becomes easier. One day we all get here and one day we all will have to depend on someone else. Our children learn by how we are. My son told me he takes care of me because I took care of him and his brother and because I was always taking care of others and took care of my parents. How blessed I am that the lesson of compassion and love and caring was passed on to my children.
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