Simply danLrene

Work Your Dream

The Pain Of Loss

This is a hard topic to talk about because it is something hard to handle and goes to the depth of our soul. Loss…whether it is loss of parents, a child, a friend, a home, a job, your health, faith and the list goes on…is a hard thing for people to deal with. Loss is hard and leaves a void that a person has to figure out how to fill. Some losses are expected like losing our parents. We all know one day we will lose them so it is not a total shock as they get up in years that it happens. But, other losses that are the kind that you do not expect and hit you like a wind shear knocking you to the ground I believe are the hardest to deal with.

Losing your health is one of those. We all plan on being healthy and becoming chronically ill is not something on our agenda and when it happens it is devastating and we have to rebuild our lives and reshape our lives because they will never be what they were before. Losing a friend is not something we plan on in life especially if we are a cautious person and do not let people in easily. But, it is something we know that can happen. But, to me the hardest to accept and the most painful is the loss of trust.

Losing your health is hard too especially when you feel yourself hurtling down the timeline of life faster than you want because of it. And it takes strength and determination to live with that loss and make life as happy as possible. People will not get it unless they are in the same place you are..never don’t waste time trying to explain to them or convince them. They just have not experienced it and so do not have that in their repertoire of emotions to pull from . I have found myself lately fighting to hold on to life harder than ever and I do not like the feeling. And I feel a real sense of loss over that. I am losing ground. Will I ever regain any of it. I do not know but I know that once I get over feeling defeated in life, I will be back fighting again. For while I feel drowning in loss right now, I can not go back and change things. I can only change what comes ahead of me.

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Trust is another area where loss can occur. Trust is not something I give easily and I do not just let people across the boundary that I have set up. And it is like seeing a bullseye with me with all the rings. There are different layers of trust. First layer is very mild trust all the way up to the bullseye of trust which means I let you into the inner sanctum of my heart. And when that trust is lost, it sucks the air from me. I can barely breathe and barely function because I never saw it coming. It is comparable to someone I love walking up with a smile on their face and arms out stretched to hug me but in their hand is a hidden dagger. And while I am looking into their eyes and hearing their words of love, they have shifted that knife to penetrate my chest and rip my heart out.  That is the worst kind of loss ever because I give it as a gift and never see it coming. And worst of all, never know why it happened. And the only thing left is me thinking “Why? If I could only understand why?”.

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While we all will experience loss throughout our lives, it does not make it easier to bear. I truly believe that all we can do is ride the wave through and try to hold on as we work to understand the loss.

July 22, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,


  1. Good message, I think you should post this on the bear page. The pain of loss is indeed deep

    Comment by Abby | July 22, 2013 | Reply

  2. Karma. And fairness. I have to believe there is not only a reason why everything happens, but that things do come back around.
    Love that last “poster.” Should encourage those who witness the first one.

    Comment by philosophermouseofthehedge | July 22, 2013 | Reply

    • you know Karen, I seldom post on topics like this because I do have a good outlook on life and I am the proverbial Pollyanna when it comes to life and even to trust issues or loss. I always believe that things will work out. I am the kind that sees Bambi and believes the mother will be there in the end. LOL Some losses are harder for me to take than others for when I open myself up to the world and others, I am doing it with honesty and love and totally upfront and expect the same in return. As far as health…many would like to attribute my health to karma but I know it is genes. LOL HUGS

      Comment by danLrene ©2011 | July 22, 2013 | Reply

      • I refuse to watch Bambi again. Noooooo!
        Health? Unfortunately mostly luck of the draw and genetics – environment? Some. Lifestyle? some – but all rests on the genes.
        I get really disturbed by those who say karma or God caused illness.
        But as far as those who harm others and create havoc, I have to hope some resolution come to them from some force.
        Now, let’s put those rose colored glasses on – might as well. Smiles are good for health.

        Comment by philosophermouseofthehedge | July 22, 2013

      • am getting there. 🙂 HUGS

        Comment by danLrene ©2011 | July 22, 2013

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