Use The Bucket To Catch Your Dreams
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Hopes and dreams are what keep us going no matter how bad it gets. But, there are times that we lose the hope and dreams like raindrops that fall to the ground and run off with the rest of the rain. I have always relied on that tiny flicker of hope to get me through the rough times. And sometimes, the glow was so tiny that if you did not look closely, you would not see it. But, it was still there.
Losing hope is like walking into a dark, dark room and shutting the door. It is dark and black and suffocating. I remember as a child hiding in the closet when we would play games as kids and laying on the floor looking under the door for that crack of light. I guess I always had within me that desire to search out the spark of light no matter how tiny it was. I would find that spark of hope that no one could take from me. Yes, there were times that I would lay in this bed for days before I found my tiny spark again and started to build upon it…nurture it…blow on it to give it more air so that it could brighten up the world around me even more.
I hear all the time about how strong I am and I guess I am. Being strong can be lonely at times because most people have the “helper syndrome” and if they think you do not need helping, they do not want to invest. I often wish that those people could see the difference in “helping” or “trying to save” a person versus being there for support and comfort of a person. There is a huge difference. But, it is what it is as I have learned to entertain myself quite well over the years. Being strong does not mean that the person does not hurt, does not cry, does not feel pain, sorrow, abandonment, etc. It simple means we choose to not let those things rob us of our happiness.
Lately I have felt like “why bother dreaming. I will never see them come true” and found my dreams and my bucket list flowing down like rain drops into the drain and away. I could not find my dreams anymore and that bothered me as this whole blog was based on “working the dream”. And then cleaning out things on my computer, I came across something I had written to someone telling them of my dreams, hopes and fears and as i sat reading my list of dreams, I realized that I had not lost my dreams. I had allowed something to overshadow them but I still had them as surely as I had that writing I was reading.
As I read the list, I realized that my dreams had changed so much over the past few years. The dream of being out here, of having our home…had been met. And other dreams had unfolded. Dreams are fragile and we have to be careful to not trample another person’s dreams or our own dreams. But, we also have to be careful to keep our dreams alive. I will dream up until the day I leave this earth I decided this morning. I probably will not get to see most of those dreams unfold but dreaming them keeps me going and the only way to fight the hard times in life is to dream your way through them. We do not have to live the reality of harshness. We just have to accept that it is part of life.
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Life is meant to be lived and we are meant to be loved. Many people never live for fear of hurt and pain and sorrow. I can tell you I have been through so many hurts in my life. They do not stop just because I am older. I just have learned to deal with them differently. I want to feel, taste, touch, see all of life I can for we do not have the guarantees of tomorrow and so it is important to live life. We all have an expiration date…every last one of us and if we all treated others and all lived like we were dying, life would be so differently. And we would be different. We would value the important things more, treasure what we have more and realize that we can lose it all in a blink of an eye.
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