♫♫ If I Could Turn Back Time ♫♫
People often say that if they could they would go back and change things in their lives. I wonder if it has crossed their minds that if they change things, they might not be the person they are today. They may not have the person they love or the children they love.They might not even be alive or live in the same area that live in at the present or have the job they have now. It could be worse if things are changed.
I think every person and every event in our life is there for a reason. The reasons range from being something to teach us, to bring people into our lives, to take people out of our lives, to create in us compassion, love, humanity, love and all those emotions that we need in life. I would not change anything including being as sick as I am and have been since my 30’s. My health caused me to slow down and take each moment as something precious.
My health has taught me patience, compassion, understanding, empathy, sympathy and most of all to take time for the important things for we may not be here tomorrow, a month from now, a year from now, ten years from now. I learned to take each day one at a time because I might not have another one. And I learned to care deeply about others. I was always a “helper” type person but my health really caused me to become someone who wanted to help the down trodden or sick. And my health is what taught me how to fight for what is important….those I love, our lives, and our time together.
Sometimes people say I am too much to the point when I say things but the truth is..I say the same things to myself when I am wallowing in self-pity. I do not tell others to do one thing and me do another. I am an equal opportunity person in that I have learned through my experiences to speak upfront, forthright, honestly and with authenticity….to myself and to others. When I find myself in wallowing mode, I tell myself to stop being a victim and start acting like a survivor. I do not focus on what “might” have been and instead I focus on what life is each day and look forward to each moment that comes. Do not be so quick to want to wipe away your life because it made you who you are.
Time has taught me from experience that words need to be chosen carefully, actions need to be considered before acting and life is one continuous learning experience. Our past teaches us. It teaches us what is good and what is bad, what we need to do and what we need to avoid, how to love in spite of, what is important and what is not and if we change all those things in life, we change our whole life.
Compassion, honesty, authenticity, valor, sympathy, empathy, generosity, patience, love, patience, peace, understanding, wisdom, tolerance……all of these are learned through the lessons life shows us if we let them. The old saying that “hind sight is 20/20” is true and it is only 20/20 because it is lessons for us to use in our present and future life if we are willing to learn the lessons. It is 20/20 because we learn from doing whether it is right or wrong and that leaves an impression on us.
This blog was inspired by a dear friend in my life that has taught me many things. She has walked the walk with me during really sick times and would keep pushing me to fight and not give up. And while she had not experienced a few of the lessons in life I had at that point with really severe and chronic pain, she knew other lessons that helped her to be a great influence in my life.
And my heart hurts for her now because for the past few months she has gone through horrific pain from a back injury….the kind of pain I have dealt with for years and never want anyone, not even my enemies to endure. She told me one day when we are talking “My God, how have you stood this?” This is the kind of pain that makes you feel like you are losing your mind at times because it can be so horrific. I cried tears for her when I prayed for her pain to be taken away. But the words she said to me about how she realized now that she had just thought she knew what severe pain was until this happened just reinforced my belief that what we endure is there for a lesson and we have to be willing to take the lesson. She always was willing to take life’s lessons as they came and come to her and use them to grow.
This person helps those with loss and sorrow and pain and though I never ever wanted her to endure this, she now has the deepest kind of understanding and compassion for people with severe pain that will make her even more inspiring than she already is. I tell many chronically ill people who complain that others just do not understand how they feel that people can only know what they know. If they have never experienced being chronically ill, they will not understand it no matter how many times you try to explain. The same goes with pain, loss of a child, loss of a spouse or parents, loss of a job, etc. If you have never been through it you only have a small understanding of what it really feels like.
And this time, I tried to be there for my friend on this journey of horrific pain like she has been for me and it has deepened our friendship even more if that is possible. All I know is she has taught me so many things about life, about coping, about never giving up, etc than I could even imagine And she will always own a piece of my heart for the caring, compassionate person she is. And that is why she inspired this blog.
Do not wish you could go back and change your life. Take the life you have and turn it into the best life possible. Fix what you can fix. Look back into that memory bank of actions and words to see what valuable lessons you can glean from them. We can spend too much time on what “might” have been and lose what is.
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