Carrying Extra Baggage
image from www.karlabrandau.com
Perhaps it is because my health is so poor but I learned a long time ago that I did not want to carry around extra baggage. Emotional baggage is usually the one we tend to hold on and not let go of. Those carrying around a lot of emotional baggage do not realize the strain it is putting on them, their heart or their lives and on the people around them.
I just do not do hate, raging anger, resentment or any of those negative emotions if I can help it. We all have moments of getting irritated or hurt but I try to resolve it quickly because I know what it can do to my health.. Compared to a small makeup case, those emotions are like hauling around the largest suitcase of all ….all the time.
I decided one day that I had to ask myself a few questions before I invested myself into any drama. Was it really that important that I needed to get upset over? A year from now would anyone remember what it was about? Could I do anything to change it? Why was it really upsetting me so much? What good would my anger do or my tears or my pain for the situation?
In a world where social media is the thing, I realized very quickly that there was a huge problem with social media and all the drama. First, you could vent your anger or hurt and never have to face the consequences. And usually, venting that anger or hurt was just an overload reaction and emotions spilling over the edges.
If I never faced what my words or actions did to someone else, then how do I learn what is proper and what is not? We try to teach our children to be accountable for our actions but are we? I am not perfect and I have been in situations where something so hurtful happened and literally shattered my heart into pieces and I lashed back in hurt/anger. To me that is the worst kind of emotion.
When we are angry, it can be a reaction and then soon the rant is over. With hurt anger, you have two emotions to deal with and it can take longer to resolve. Hurt is a deep emotion and people often turn to anger to cope with being hurt so badly. I have been hurt so deeply in the past and felt so betrayed that I could not breathe from the pain. And because of that, I have let words out that I normally would not say because the pain had blocked my normal filter. And so then I had guilt to deal with along with the horrible hurt, anger and feelings of betrayal.
This is baggage and I had to make a choice once I began doing some healing. I could either carry the hurt around with me the rest of my life or I could forgive and lighten the load. I had carried hurt and anger around before and knew the load that could be on my life. I knew that horrible, heavy dark feeling that carrying emotional baggage causes.
Emotional baggage is a choice. Letting go of hurt, pain, anger and even grief after a period of time is a choice. I have told this story before but it bears repeating. Two sisters had not spoken in about sixty years. They were old and had quit speaking when they were around twenty. So, family decided to bring them together to try to mend things so that they could spend time together before either one died.
The sisters were brought into the house and each one looked at the other and told the family that they refused to speak to the other one. When they were asked why they were not speaking…neither one could tell you what the fight had been about as it had been so long. And to make it worse, they both refused to forgive the other or to speak to each other and each wanted to be taken home.
That is some heavy, HEAVY emotional baggage they have carried around. And they were going to keep carrying it around. You could see the strain on both as they looked older than their 80 years of age. There were frown wrinkles so deep that it was like craters in their faces. And the bitterness was oozing out of all of them. And judging from their reactions to seeing each other, they will most likely die bitter and angry.
Choose today to get rid of the emotional baggage. What does it matter a year later what someone said in anger? What does it matter if someone bother your birthday one year or said something ugly about you. Pick your battles and the biggest battle should be to hold on to loved ones and not let emotional baggage be the wedge between you and your loved ones. Sometimes, we have to make the step to remove all those hurts, losses, jealousies, angers and make room for the love that is still around us.
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