Survivor Or Victim?
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Life is constant choices…sometimes every minute, sometimes every hour and definitely every day. And the choice to be a survivor instead of a victim is a choice I make daily. I have heard people I know say “but I am a victim” and the truth is yes, we are a victim…FIRST. But becoming a survivor next is a choice. And going on to be come a thriver is another choice. Remember victims focus on the things wrong and survivors focus on solutions…on ways to make it better.
People start out a victim when something happens that is out of their control…a victim of a violent crime, of misuse, of an illness or an accident…whatever. These things we have no choice or control over. What we do have control over is whether or not to stay a victim. People remain a victim because they like it. Being a victim means you never take responsibility for anything.
“If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.”
It means you do not have to make decisions because, after all, you are a victim. It means that everyone else is the bad guy and you are the good guy. You are the one right (victims think) and that brings those “feel good” feelings. And some people prefer the victim mentality to having to claim responsibility for their lives and the choices they make. Some people like to wallow in self-pity. It is easier that way. Living in self-pity and a life where someone else always takes the blame for everything that goes on in our life can be as addictive as a drug.
Self pity and staying a victim brings attention…that is until people realize you are not really the victim they were led to believe you are and then the one who loves being a victim moves on to another group of people to get the attention and rewards they want.
Being a survivor means you accept responsibility for your choices…be they right or wrong. It means that we are willing to work towards being that survivor and accepting that our choices are within our control. It means we CHOOSE to be the survivor instead of someone who loves to continue in the role of the poor victim. Is it easy? No, but it is attainable. It means what we accept our life and our choices and we accept that we may make bad choices. And when we do make a bad choice, we step back, review it and start over again in a more positive direction. We have that choice. It is within our power. Being a victim from some tragic event is ok. Remaining a victim is not. And once you become a survivor, then you go on to thrive and live your life as an independent and strong person. Yes, your life may be different but that does not mean it can not have happiness.
And I am a survivor…my choice.
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