How Are Your Choices Going?
I admit that I am a big believer in the theory that our choices are what makes our lives what they are. I also believe that children should be learning about choices from the time they are small. I used a method with my sons that gave them a choice of what would happen. For example, if one of my sons was hitting on the other son, I would tell him that he had two choices. He could choose to stop hitting and get to stay and play or he could choose to not stop hitting and he would have to go to time out. The choice was his and I then asked him what did he choose. He had been told the consequences so he made the choice. The first time I did that with my sons, one of them continued on with the inappropriate behavior and was sent to time out. He was so upset because he said that was not what he wanted. I told him that he made the choice and I had told him the consequences. Once they learned that I meant what the consequences were, they learned to normally choose the right one.
As we grow older and life offers so many choices to make, we learn that each choice has a consequence and that consequence could be good or could be bad. As I acquired “older than dirt” wisdom, I began to make many choices about my life. It was not just a choice of do I want to go here or there but was choices about how I wanted my life to go. Below is a list that pretty much says what I believe in and I choose to live this way daily.
I am a survivor by nature and am always working on ways to make my life like I want it to be. Many people will be passive and not make choices they need to make. They will let someone else make the choices for them. And the result of that is that you are not living the life you want but the life someone else chooses for you. I say this often because I believe it to be true. Survivors focus on solutions and victims are still talking about all the problems. When problems arise, I believe we should find a way to fix the problem. If we can not fix the problem, then we must either move ourselves away from the problem or accept it. I believe in standing up for what is right even if I am standing all by myself and there have been times it has been me against whatever.
Work to create the life you want. Begin by asking yourself are you happy and if not, find what it would take to make you happy. I believe we choose whether we are happy or not. This does not mean you snap your fingers and say “Ok, I am happy.” It means that we make the steps necessary to be happy. If I am down about something then I make steps to lift me up. It could be music, it could be visiting with friends, it could be holding my grand baby or playing with my dog. But I choose to do something to lift myself out of the slump. That is what choosing to be happy is. If I am unhappy with my job then I find another job. I am responsible for my own happiness. We can not rely on others, places, things, money etc to make us happy. We have to find our own happiness.
Make the choices in your life. Nothing I hate worse than to ask someone what they want to eat or what movie they want to watch than to have them say “I do not know. You choose.” They are giving away their voice to someone else. One day, I actually told a person that said that to me “Ok, then we will not eat or see the movie. We will just sit here and talk.” I wish I had my camera to catch the look they gave for I knew they were hungry and I knew they wanted us to watch a movie. What I wanted was for them to give “their” wants and we could discuss it. This is a prime example of the quote box above. If you do not choose for your own life, then you will live someone else’s life and that may not be the life you want.
Choices are everywhere. We choose to sleep in or get up. We choose what we eat, what we wear and where we work. We choose who we are friends with, who we do not want to be around, whether to marry or have children. Life is constant choices. What I notice though is people will give away their choices and then are miserable but will not choose to step up and change it. Use your voice. Do not become a victim who gets used, misused, taken advantage of and after a while becomes someone people do not like to be around.
Being assertive about your life is not the same thing as being a bitch about things. Being assertive simple means you step up and say your views. You do not have to argue with anyone but if you do not say how you really feel then you are the one to blame when things do not go well. Choose the life you want and keep making choices that make your life better. If things make you unhappy, then get away from those things. Use your gift of choice. And most of all, when you make bad choices….go back and correct things. Do not just sit there and whine about how bad it was.
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