What Uncrossable Lines Do You Have?
Note: Sorry for the absence. Have been undergoing some medical things. Thank you for sticking around. 🙂 danLrene
We all have a line that says “ENOUGH” or I will go no further: a line that we will not cross. Do you know what yours is? I have more than one line and the lines are my boundaries of what I will put up with, what I will do, what I will allow to be done to me, etc. Lines or boundaries are necessary in life or we will be walked on and misused.
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It took me years to learn how important it is to set healthy boundaries because I was a people pleaser. I was always afraid of making others mad or doing something that would make them stop liking me. It took a lot of hard work to come to the place where I knew that boundaries were necessary in life and took a lot of the stress away.
There are boundaries with family, boundaries with friends, boundaries at work, boundaries for your home, boundaries for your time and boundaries that we need to set to stop ourselves from being run to death. I first learned about boundaries when it came to boundaries with other people. I learned that it was ok to say “Sorry but I can not do that.” when someone wanted me to do something for them. And it took many tries before I mastered the art of saying no and sounding like I meant it. People who are wanting someone to do something for them can become quite pushy and demanding. Many do not listen to you when you say you are busy or you can not and will keep pushing you to do what they need done.
I soon learned a couple of things to never do when telling someone I can not or will not do something. . I learned to never give an excuse why I could not do their request. And I am sure you all are saying “Why not give an excuse?” The reason is that if you give an excuse they will find an answer for the excuse and still pressure you to do what they need done. So, save your breath on that one. There is no easy way out. Simply say “No” or “No, I can not” and then walk away or get off the phone with them. Will they get mad? Oh yeah, some of them will but they will get over it.
I learned the hard way when someone pressured me into running their booth on a Saturday at the church bazaar. I did not want to and I came home angry at myself for not saying no. But what taught me the lesson was learning that the reason the person wanted me to run the booth was they wanted to take the weekend off. I had plans and cancelled the plans to do what this person asked me to do. I did that because I thought they were going to be working alone and needed help. So, you can imagine my anger at myself upon learning that I had given up something I wanted to do only to find I had been suckered into giving someone else their weekend off instead of me having mine.
I have lines that are done deals when others cross them. Do not lie to me and do not steal from me is one. Another is do not attack my kids or my granddaughter and say things about them that are not true. Another is do not try to get me entangled in something immoral or illegal. When people cross these lines, they have gone too far.
What lines do you have in your life? Which ones are lines you will not cross and which are lines others better not cross. You do not have to tell me…just think about it for yourself for boundaries are something we all need.
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