Simply danLrene's Opinion

Work Your Dream

New Years Resolutions or Goals?

Simply danLrene signiaAnother year has ended and as I normally do, I look back to view the last year and I realize just how far we have come. Looking back also brought the understanding that there are some things that we just have to accept are not going to change. This means that we especially need to quit setting ourselves up for a failure by saying “this year it is going to be different” in certain areas when the past has shown us that this is here to stay so what needs to be different is my attitude. For example, I will never be cured and so I need to work on improving my life instead of becoming frustrated when my health stays the same. And once you accept, then you move on to living with a situation as it is. Learning to accept life as it is in certain areas becomes a goal in itself.

I do not believe in New Year’s Resolutions because most of the New Year’s resolutions are not realistic. People expect to accomplish them instantly and in reality, they last about three weeks if that long. Usually it is things like “I am going to exercise for two-hour a day every day” or “I am going to jog 5 miles every day”  and they might really do it the first week and then days start getting missed until the person gets tired and quits all together. Or people say ” I am going to lose sixty pounds in two months” and they crash diet until they can not do it anymore and then quit and gain it back plus more. This creates an atmosphere of failure at the beginning of the new year. Goals would be “I am going to improve how I eat” or “I am going to start moving more to exercise my body.”  It is important to set realistic goals so we can achieve some success.

I believe in setting goals each year because goals are something that are on going and something you do with reasonable expectations and some thing you can change if you need to. There is no failure to goals as long as you work on them for you can always continue a slow going goal into the next year. I set goals about my health and the goals are things like finding a way to exercise because exercising is not an easy task for someone who is mostly hospital bed bound and is in a power chair. This past year we did manage to succeed at a goal of finding a way to exercise. And so my goal for 2015 is to continue exercising and making myself stronger.

I make personal goals about such things as keeping my boundaries set and creating new boundaries if I need to. For example, I pull away from people who are constantly negative because that just pulls me down and I am fighting a battle myself. It is like being put into a dark dungeon for me. So my goal is to back away from things too negative.  The goal to set a boundary is important because everyone, especially the chronically ill/disabled, can become drained and too stressed if we do not keep a boundary in place. And I find that those that stay in victim mode are some of the ones that are daily finding a way to talk about how bad they are and most people will listen for a while and then get tired of it and begin to pull back.  And so my goal is to not get drawn into negative things and to continue to be a survivor and focus on solutions.

Working on my attitude about the severe pain I suffer with is an example.  I could complain about pain all day and night because it never leaves me. What I do however is find solutions or ways to make the pain easier:  I rest if I need to, I avoid extreme changes in temperatures, I massage my aching muscles and use pain gels, I take the medicine for pain. I use visualization picturing an army in my body that captures the pain mongers and escorts them out. And if all else fails, I find something to distract me. This is being solution oriented and not just complaining. Does the pain disappear? No, but it becomes a little more tolerable and while I am working on things to make the pain a little more tolerable, I am not sitting around moaning and groaning to everyone about how much pain I am in or how sick I am

Another goal is avoiding stress as much as possible and avoiding the drama that seems to thrive on social media and around us. When I do get drawn into drama or high stress, that is a choice I am making. It is my choice to stay out of the drama too. And my goal is to keep my serenity space around me for that is the only way healing can take place. A few years back, creating serenity in our house was a goal and today, everyone and I seriously mean “everyone” that walks through our door tells us how they LOVE our home as it is so serene and the energy level feels so good. That is a great compliment and I explain that we worked hard to create a sanctuary that was serene and soothing so that there was less stress in the house. I used to help people fix their houses that way with things that absorb noise, off set lighting so the glare does not trigger nerves, devices to keep the noise level down, temperature control, etc.

Another area I make goals on is personal accomplishments. I have to keep working and doing even if I am laying flat on my back and typing on a pillow on my stomach. It keeps my brain alive and gives me purpose. A lot of depression comes from just lying around in your home drowning in the gloom and doom of your situation. I know because I have done that in the past. Being active mentally and physically as much as you can will help keep that at bay. This blog is a goal I made three years ago and it became my “job” for me and gave me a sense of self-worth. My goal is to inspire, motivate and lift others up to be the best they can be. And that is an ongoing goal. Last year we made a goal to get our books published and while we got a lot of work done on them, we did not get them published in 2014. So, our ongoing goal this year is to get at least one of the books published.

 

I also believe setting goals should include “helping others”. I believe that helping others reach a goal is a good goal to have.  I dream for you all and if I see a way I can help like promoting a blog, or promoting someone’s book or looking for ways to help someone get what they need, then I do it even if I am laying right here in this bed. Believe me when I say…dreaming for someone else brings you great joy as does helping others. There are so many things we can do to help others. Start this week taking one can of food and putting it in a box and each week add another can. Saving one can a week create a food box with 52 cans in a years time that you can use to help someone else. Or you can collect school supplies to help a needy child.  Collecting clothes is another coal we can have. Many people need appropriate working clothes so they can get the job they need. We also can work to have a drive to help someone who is having financial trouble due to medical bills or whatever and encourage others to help. Or we can volunteer our time at food banks or soup kitchens or at the hospital or even schools. I can tell you from experience that this goal of helping others will give you a sense of accomplishment that you will not believe.

I have personal goals like working on the fundraising for the mini bus to help make it easier on me to have to travel to doctors, etc. Last year I did not reach my goal to get stuff on Ebay to help with our fundraising. I set the bar too high as I had over 100 things to list and each time I felt overwhelmed. What this past year taught me was that I needed to lower the bar and perhaps set the goal at getting five things a week or every two weeks listed. That is an attainable goal.

Try setting goals this year and see how that goes. Set health goals, school goals, financial goals, personal goals, boundary goals, helping mankind goals, or whatever ones you want. I think you will find that it is an amazing experience and will not make you feel like we used to feel when we set resolutions that ended in six weeks and then we felt like a failure. Goals go on and on and on and they change according to how we can accomplish them and how much we accomplish. Goals are like dreams…the sky is the limit.

January 1, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

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