Frailness Is When You Become Real
“We are taught growing up to dislike frailty and yet, if we open our eyes there is beauty in frailty. Just look at the gardenia bloom that bruises with touch or the beautiful butterfly wings that can crumple if held wrong. Wisdom comes to some early in knowing that being frail is not bad. What is bad is the avoidance and judgment that the strong bestow upon the frail.” danlrene
Life is always in transition and everyone at some time or another suffers with frailness whether it is having the flu so bad and taking weeks to get over it, or being in a bad accident or being chronically ill and disabled or just plain getting old.
I joke and tell son I am no longer disabled as Social Security informed me after I turned 65 that I was no longer on disability I was just old. Ironically, I told my parents as I helped take care of them in the early 2000 up until they died in 2006 that I was going through my senior years with them. I really was not but my health was. But, this taught me what frailness and realness truly are.
It seems people think that being frail which means being weak is the worst thing in the world. It is not. Trust me when I say there are much worse things. I might not can do all I used to do. I might get sick easier than others, tired quicker than others and just do not have the strength I used to have. But inside me lies the same person I was when I was healthier and that person is the one that loves to laugh, joke, see new things, talk to people, take pictures, plant flowers and has a heart full of love to give others.
I believe there is a beauty in frailness for that is when the real you comes out. I love the book “The Velveteen Rabbit”. One day the bunny asked the Horse in the toy room what was Real?” And the horse replied:
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” From the Velveteen Rabbit
There is beauty in frailness just like the horse so wisely told the bunny. Look at the frailness of the butterflies wings and yet they transport that butterfly all over from branch to branch and have such beauty in the colors. There is beauty in frailness when your grandmother holds your child for the first time and you see her hands with skin so thin and fragile delicately touch that baby and talk to it making him smile. Have you ever looked at a snowflake and seen how fragile it is? Frailness is not a fault. It is the product of loving and being loved so much that you have reached a point of beauty that few can really see.
I hope to be like the horse one day and be full of wisdom and to be able to tell people what being real is for we have so little of it in this world anymore. Perhaps if the world were more “REAL” it would be a more beautiful place to live. When you are frail no matter the reason, you become real because all of those crutches we use through out life to protect ourselves and present ourselves as more perfect than we really are have been stripped away and we have nothing to hide ourselves behind. It is a time where surviving becomes more important than what other people think of us.
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