Step Out Of The Comfort Zone
Life is a series of accomplishments from the day we are born to the day we die. We go through all the firsts…our first smile, our first laugh, our first crawl, our first walk, our first day of school or first job, our first date, our first child, our first failure, our first loss and how we dealt with it…all accomplishments and yet sometimes we can become so stuck in our comfort zone that we never venture outside of what is comfortable. We never try anything new or change because even the bad is comfortable and we are afraid to try something new for fear it may be worse.
As I watched this video below about a woman who was living the perfect life…as many think of perfect…with a good job, marriage, all the possessions so many seek such as a car, home, etc and saw her realize that she was not happy but did not know what she wanted. She set off to row across the ocean and worked to ready herself. She trained physically, took courses on first aid, navigation and things she might need for this solo adventure and thought she was ready. And as you will see in the video, everything that could go wrong did and yet, she learned that even when you do not like something…that sense of accomplishment is just as wonderful as if you did something you loved. And in fact…maybe it is a bit more because you took adversity and worked your way through it.
video by HayHousePresents
Some how, some way…we have been led to believe that the only thing that makes life worthwhile and happy is things that make us feel good..that touches all our senses. And so people partake of all the pleasures of life from possessions, to people, to money, to sex….whatever makes them feel good. And yet, they are not feeling that contentment and peace that happiness brings and so they search even harder and keep looking for happiness, never realizing it is what we have on the inside that makes us happy. It is not all the things, people, places, money that does it. Those things bring joy but can disappear in a flash and then where are we?
I truly believe that some important things can bring us satisfaction and fulfillment and contentment, which helps us create that happiness inside. One is having goals that we strive to meet and even when we do not like what we are doing…if we accomplish them, it brings us great joy and creates that sense of who we are inside and makes us happy. If we have no goals, we are just drifting along in life and life can become very stale.
We are also taught that the only way we are of value is if we are whole, healthy and well. I do not think anyone wants to be chronically ill and disabled but I live it daily and do it with the choice of making the best of it. Are there times that things are bad? Sure there are and it is those times I choose to fight the hardest and that brings me fulfillment and pride in my strength and creates contentment inside me which fuels happiness. Do I want to have to keep climbing? No, but I find that the sense of accomplishment keeps me going. And through it all, I have discovered that I am a person of value. My health is only part of what makes me the person I am.
Just because I am chronically ill or disabled does not mean that I can not set goals. I can lay here and drift around in the bed of self-pity or I can make a choice to step out and do things I do not want to do or do not normally do. Do I want to get knocked down and have to climb the same mountain over and over? Of course not and so when I succeed at that…when I reach that goal, it fills me up. If I lay there and just moan and groan about how bad I am, then I am miserable. And I believe I feel miserable because I am just drifting in life. I have sealed myself into a negative bubble and nothing penetrates and gets to us and so we drift along on the boat of unhappiness.
Another thing I personally believe that affects our happiness is our attitude and what we choose to focus on. If I focus on and make my life about all that is wrong, I am miserable and do not even like to be around myself. If I focus on what I do have good instead of what I have wrong, then I am more content and when we are content then we are happier. I also have learned to not focus on self so much. I change my view to others and what they are doing and how they are coping and try to see if I can help.
Ironically, I find that those that do not want to step out of that comfort zone of focusing on all the negative get mad at positive people and look for ways to say it is not possible to stop carrying your baggage or to be happy when you are sick or in pain. And it is possible. And that is part of stepping outside your comfort zone to try new things and try to look for the good things in life. Even negative can become a comfort zone that we can not want to let go of. It is like staying with someone who treats you badly. Some people will stay because it is easier to stay with the bad cause they know what to expect than to put themselves out there to meet someone else. Even hardships can be rewarding.
Life is choices and if we spent as much time on seeing the good, looking for the positive, doing the work even when we do not like it, and fulfilling ourselves by the goals we work on then we are happier people. If we spent as much or more time on those things as we do on moaning about all that is wrong, criticizing, complaining and seeing only the negative, then we would find that happy spot inside of us for that is where it lies. Focusing on the good in life is not diminishing any pain and suffering we have. It is just not letting the pain and suffering define who we are and how our life will be. We honestly DO control our attitude and how we view life and if the view is bad, change your focus.
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