Simply danLrene

Work Your Dream

What Are You Promoting? #Promotethegood

my logo

You all have heard me say that victims only talk about all the things wrong and all the problems. Survivors know the things wrong and they look for solutions to help make things better. So, my question today as I look around the internet and I see massive amounts of media posting the most ugly, negative post you can about cops, about politicians, about people in general is where are the warriors?

I can tell you a few of them for I see them. There are Black cops who are trying to reach the ones that are hating, fighting and creating more problems and help calm the storm. Nothing good comes from such agitation. There are other people out there of all races who are striving to calm the storm so that we can all listen and come to conclusions. There are cops all over who are trying to help those that are in such need and trying to show the love and compassion we want from our law enforcement. There are teachers who are taking training trying to understand better how to have discussion on this to find solutions to bring unity to us all.

And then I see those that want to argue on every positive post and make comments that are negative or to try to prove their point that either this side or that side is bad. We do not need to prove. We need to find solutions to help everyone be the person they can be to the fullest. How is it helping the situation for White people who think they are “helping” to keep posting stories about how this cop or that cop was evil or did something bad? Why not post things that are positive that people are trying to do to heal the broken trust, to do good and to make the relationship better on both sides?

I watched as angry White people threw in the face of angry Black people how their own people sold them as slaves. I just felt my jaw drop and I had to write on that thread…”So, your point is what? That because some Blacks in Africa sold their own for money then it is alright? Wrong is wrong people. And slavery was wrong. I am so ashamed our country did that and that any country does it.But the wrong does have ramifications.

And then I heard angry Black people throw in the faces of angry White people how all Cops and all White people are nothing but killers and racists. Seriously folks, how is this helping? All Whites are not racist and killers and all Blacks are not thugs and criminals. Can we stop the blame game and move on to the healing that needs to be done. Are there bad Cops? Yes. Are there Black people who have done bad things? Yes,  just as there are of any race. We acknowledge that so can we now work on solutions? That means people of each race trying to calm their own so that people can talk and can learn and not be so filled with hate at each other.

Just a thought….we do not have to tell all the bad stories about Cops or White people to solve the problems. Now do we have to tell all the bad stories about blacks who committed crimes or did this or that. We need warrior attitude which is find solutions for the problems and promote the positive that IS going on with both sides. Remember my saying….Victims focus on all the things wrong and that is all they talk about. Survivors know the things wrong and they focus and talk about ways to make things better. All Whites are not racist nor haters and all Blacks are not thugs and criminals. Only a small portion of our country is that way. Those of us that want to change things are tired of the media and of people presenting everything they “heard” that is bad about Whites or about Blacks. We can not have any form of healing if all we do is focus on the problems and never work on solutions. Negativity, hatred and racism just produce more negativity, hatred and racism.

How about we produce positive things going on like the boy I posted about who was living in a tent so he could go to college because he wanted to make his life better and the cops helped him. That was a two-way street. This young man was polite, he did not fight, he did not argue and the cops actually sat down and listened to what was going on and found a way to help him. Now that my friends is promoting unity in our country.

Maybe if you are one of those so angry from either side, the next time you feel like spewing hater or telling the world once again all the bad things Cops did or all the bad things Blacks did or all the bad things White people did, you take a time out. Go sit down somewhere and think about the good things any of these people have done and write them down. Look for the good and you will find it and promote the good. We can not always control what happens to us in life but we CAN control how we react to it. If we only think about the bad things and we only look for bad things, that is all we will see. Like a camera, maybe we should change our focus and turn our lens to the good things.

This poem is one of my favorites. It was written about children but I think it applies to adults too. It is called “Children Learn What They Live”.  As you read it, I want to ask you to read it in the context of what have you been teaching people about themselves? Have we been teaching people to hate or to fear or to think they are no good? Just think about it as you read this and only you can answer that within your heart. It has made me more conscious of what I say to others for this is no dress rehearsal. We get one chance in this world and I want my chance to be one where I uplift others and love others.

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Video of the boy who rode his brother’s bike six miles and was sleeping in a tent so that he could enter college and what happened. Awesome story:  http://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/homeless-teen-bikes-6-hours-to-get-to-college-sleeps-in-tent/401160413?ea2CcF

July 16, 2016 Posted by | Inspiration | 2 Comments

Being Accountable For Oneself

my logo

I woke up this morning and was reading the news and again I see more protests. Thankfully, this is a peaceful protest but it is a sign of the times. There is a distance between people all over. People are hurting, angry, and feel no one is listening. I find it all sad but what I find even sadder is that people are becoming detached to others in general and I personally think social media has encouraged this and encouraged people to post hate and racism on the internet thinking they are hiding behind a screen.

I read an article about social media and how for adults, it has become like high school again. There are cliques and high school behavior all over the place. Friends and loved ones have now become an expendable commodity. It is an attitude of distance and if someone makes you mad, throw them away. If someone “more entertaining” comes along, people toss the one that has been loyal and there for them because someone else entertains them more. There seems to be little staying ground with friendship. Friendship has become expendable and people have forgotten what being a real friend really is.

Do you remember high school where you had the “cliques” that people formed and if you were not part of their group, they had nothing to do with you or were mean to you. There was bullying, manipulating, and people thought it was acceptable to do this. I had a schoolmate I talked to one time in the past few years and she said “I was so mean to you in high school and now I feel bad about it.”  Took forty years but she now feels bad about it. Fortunately for me, I am a strong person and did not carry hate or anger for these types of things but it does give a glimpse of how we have become the society we have. And I think about the kids who were not strong, we felt bullied and hurt and some even resorted to suicide.

I have been bullied, mistreated, lied to and used in the past but I have been blessed with a forgiving nature and the belief that love is something precious, family is something precious and friends are something precious and you do not throw them away or take them for granted. Yes, I have had and still have people who toss me aside like I am expendable, only to try to keep a line attached just enough that if they need you, you are still there. But, there comes a point where you tear the blanket and severe the relationship because it is not a healthy relationship.  I do not break the relationship easily and try to keep the line of communication open until that day I realize that the person I thought was such a good friend really never was.

Now, to translate that to the world today. People use social media like high school even when they are adults and middle-aged and up. They feel like the more “friends” they have on their FB makes them the most popular and it is like a power trip to them. I keep my FB small on purpose. I distinguish between friends and acquaintances and so keeping my FB small means I have the time to give to those I say I love. This is especially important considering my health is not good and I have limited energy to give.

So, if you look around the world and around the world of social media, you will see how people play people against each other, use them to get whatever it is that they want or need in life emotionally or physically and how what appears to be friendship online is very seldom what you think it is. Hold tight to those that really love you for one day you may wake up and realize those hundreds of people who are on your FB really do not even know you. And the ones that you tossed away or misused were the true friends.

People fight for attention just like high school kids did and for being the “teacher’s pet” only on social media it is being the one that gets the most attention. Ask yourself how many times you have become very friendly with someone on social media only to have tossed them later to move on to someone else and how many people have you hurt that you can not make up for the hurt you did to them.

Now, lets take that on to the world. There is a divide among people. People use social media to get even with people, to show their prejudice against certain people, to make fun of people, to get attention when they want it from people but there is no real connect  with so many for they do not know what friendship is. And what is not right is allowed even when reported on social media. Some people just play the game that is like being in a program where you build your own home and life only the program is called acting like a high school kid on a social media platform. And yet, these same people use this attitude on social media in life and the hate, racism, manipulation, etc goes on in real-life.  Maybe it is time to put down the smart phones, and start living real-life. Look at those around you without that smart phone that have cared for you and loved you only to be ignored or abandoned and ask yourself why you allowed a social media platform to rule your life and affect how you treat others.

We have got to change the world starting from our life outward. We have got to be accountable for ourselves and our actions and we have got to quit using love as a commodity. The end result will be people begin “ripping the blanket” to separate themselves from  you. We can not change the hate and racism and tension in the world if we do not change ourselves first.

We have only one life to live here. This is not a dress rehearsal nor are there any retakes. We have to work to get it right while we are here whether it is five years, ten years, forty years or 100 years. If we are accountable then maybe we can help others be accountable.

July 13, 2016 Posted by | All | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rambling Here On Life As We Have Seen It Of Late

my logo

I have had an extremely hard time writing lately. This is going to be rambling rose here as I try to work through all of this. I have people tell me how strong I am and I am especially when it comes to dealing with all the health issues. But lately, I have been a gardenia. And for those that do not know what that means, a gardenia is a delicate flower and if you touch it, it bruises. I can handle most anything anymore but what has made my heart heavy is all the hate, anger, violence that we see on the media, in politics, in the country here and everywhere. It is bad enough we are warring with other countries but we have warred within ourselves  here in our own country. And that to me is beyond sad for a country divided will fall. So, get your coffee or coke, pull up a chair and listen to me ramble here.

I have written some in the past like on the shooting in Orlando and other places and the shootings the past few days have really saddened my heart. Why, oh why can people not just show compassion and love. There are parents and family members who lost their loved ones that are crying and grieving. Are we incapable of feeling compassion for that? No matter the reason the killings are a tragedy that has affected many, and I cautioned many against making early judgments about what happened in those two shootings for one reason. That reason was that when you get so angry that you start making statements that include with anger the words “All”, “Every”, and “Never”, you are fueling your anger and sparking this kind of anger in others. Nothing is “all”.  All cops are not bad. All Blacks are not thugs. All whites are not racist. See my point here? Anger can be a good thing. It is what you do with that anger that matters. Dallas is a good example of that with 5 dead White policemen.

I am going to delve into something laying on my heart and I ask a couple of things of everyone who chooses to comment on here. The first is please be respectful. We do not all have to agree but we can all be respectful. I do have and have always had my comments on “approval” basis to keep ugliness off as I wanted my blog to be a place where you could discuss without fear of being attacked. So, please no hate, no name calling, no pulling politics in, and no racism or your comment will not be approved. I do not mind disagreeing with me just no hate. Thanks.

First let me say that I can understand the anger that is being felt right now by the deaths…unnecessary deaths of two Black men. I think besides the deaths, the part that makes me the angriest is that I feel like the media fuels this anger and it then creates more things like the violent protests, destruction and more deaths. Gone are the days where the media was the watch dog and were not biased in their reporting. There was no emotionalism like there is today and emotionalism is solely to sell the stories. With what the media has posted, it has fueled the Black community and many whites even more. When there is injustice, we need people who are willing to work for solutions not create more chaos. And I feel my Black friend’s pain and the pain of the Black Community. We are more racially divided than we have been in years and that is sad.

Now, I know because I have had some say it to me in the past, that Blacks need to stop saying they need an apology for slavery and oppression because no one today was even alive during that time. And that is true. But you know what?  How hard is it to say “I am so sorry that your ancestors were brought over here as slaves and mistreated and abused and their lives stolen.”  We do not have to have been alive when slavery happened to be sorry that it ever happened. I certainly am sorry it ever happened especially from a country of people who came here for freedom and then they turn around and bring slaves over and they do things like push the Native Americans onto reservations, and try to take their identity by forcing them to never speak their native tongue (and I am talking both Blacks and Native Americans here), refused to let them use their native names and gave them new names….white names and mistreated many people along the way.

I grew up during segregation and integration times. I remember the police and how people treated them. I remember the signs “no colored allowed” and I remember the white and black water fountains. I remember the first Black child that was made to come to our school when integration started and how people treated her. And all I could think was how scared she must be. And there was always this part of me that could not understand what all the ugliness was about. If you cut a Black person and a White person they both bleed red. We are all humans who just happen to have different colored skin.

And the past couple of years I have felt like I was back in that time when I see all the hate and anger on both sides and see people fighting over flags, statues and the like. And the name calling is horrific and it is not limited to just racial issues. It is in politics, in the news comments, and just about everywhere else you look. Where has respect gone? Where has compassion gone?  Where has love gone?

Now, I do believe that you do not hide history. Hiding history does not remove the blaring stain. We need to learn from history. We can not pretend that certain things never happened. We need to learn how to do better from the past. What is that old saying “Hind sight is 20/20″ and it is. We should be able to look back at how things have gone and see where we as a country went wrong. I can remember thinking about people one day as I was reading on slavery and on the Native Americans and other races that struggled here…”Who the hell did we think we were?” People come here for freedom and look what happens.

See, I can not tell you how it feels to be Black, to have to worry every time you go out if you are going to be stopped, to wonder every time you hear of a shooting was it one of your family. I can tell you how it feels to be disabled and be discriminated against and mistreated for that has been my life.

So, where do we go from here? We can not fix anything until we admit there is a problem and most people refuse to do that. Things are said like go back to where you came from to people born and raised here who are just as much American as I am. We have to learn to first hold the anger and not let it lead us into things that are violent.  We have to learn to listen to each other and to quit hating. Hatred, racism, anger…those are things we are not born with. We are taught them. Love is also something that is taught and yet I see more hatred, racism, anger taught to our young kids than love, compassion and understanding.  I had older family members that used racist terms and I worked hard to not teach that to my sons but to teach them acceptance and compassion for others.And I am proud of both of my sons. They treat everyone with respect and caring.

We have to turn the tide. We need to find ways to work for solutions. Now, what I am about to say may make some mad but I believe survivors look for solutions and those that want to remain a victim only talk about the problems. The fact that there was slavery in this country or anywhere is to me a dark spot on our history. It is a fact of history. But we can not use slavery as an excuse to do wrong, to hate, to do violence, to destroy property, etc. We have to learn how to express the anger in a better way that works towards figuring out what is needed to make things better. And that being a survivor…working for a solution.

In some ways things are much better with racial tensions. I mean for the first time we have a Black president and Blacks in positions such as senators/congress, judges, and the DOJ.  So some things have improved. So what else needs to be done to improve racial tensions? I agree that better training, better accountability, cameras on all law enforcement, better mental evaluation needs to be done. But in a climate where “hate the cops”, “the cops are ALL bad”, and other things are being taught, the tension increases between cops and Blacks. And then we have people who do not respond properly to cops, are disrespectful and fight back and it ends up a struggle and someone gets hurt. How do we fix this?

I have two videos I want you all to watch. The first is a video of Jarrett Maupin, who is “a vocal critic of police during recent protests and he went through force training with local authorities.”  to see what being a cop was like. He said he had a totally different perspective after doing that because he saw how you could end up shooting someone because things happen in a split second. That is not to say all police shootings are justified. It is just another perspective on the other side of the coin.

video by FOX 10 Phoenix

And the last video is a Black cop in Dallas as he expresses how he feels about the officers shot. He makes one statement that I love and that is “”I refuse to see hate live while love dies”   We have to find a way to stop the epidemic of hate and turn it into something productive that changes the way things are.

Sorry folks, the youtuber who posted this video removed it, so here is a link to the video of this awesome cop and what he had to say.

 

July 10, 2016 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

%d bloggers like this: