Friendship is a wonderful thing. People have all different definitions of friendship. And there are many different levels of friendship. I have friends that I have had since high school and have not seen them since high school but I still consider them friends and even though we do not talk, if they called me and said I need you…I would do my best to be there. I have friends I talk to daily. I have friends I talk to occasionally. And I have friends I no longer speak to. And I have friends that I find that I can not really associate with because I do not believe in what they are doing. It violates my values but I still care about them. I still love them.
Because of social media outlets, the real meaning of friendship has become blurred. People do not know what real friendship is. With social media outlets you will hear people tell you they love you and they are your friend and they totally support you and then the next day they may be with another set of friends. That is not real friendship. To me, it just says that they are adept liars and after whatever they can get. And when the next well runs dry, they will move on to another.
“Where does all the fake love come from? Is it them or is it me?”
image from favim.com
“True friends are like diamonds, precious but rare. Fake friends are like fall leaves, found everywhere.”
Nor do many know what real friendship is NOT. It is not agreeing with everything the other person says or does. It is not lying for them or defending them when they are wrong. It is not never getting irritated with them or angry with them. I can not imagine a real relationship where no one ever got irritated or angry or never said something the other person did not like. We are not the Stepford Wives here. It is standing by them even when you disagree. It is feeling free enough to say I do not agree with what you are doing or saying. Real friends are totally honest with each other and do not expect someone to mirror what they want. They could just look in the mirror and get that. Real friends are trustworthy and if you talk in confidence, they keep it in confidence.
I personally am the type that if I am your friend, I am your friend. I do not put conditions on it. I do not leave you because I do not like what you say or do or do not like that you disagree with me. I do not expect friends to be perfect. I do expect them to be honest but even when they are not…I am still a friend. And I am honest with friends, even when it is to say I do not think what you are doing is right. I love in spite of….not because of. That is a real friend in my definition.Real friends do not have to pretend or agree just to make someone happy. The only thing that makes me back away is when I am attacked or I find that people are lying to me. Something I personally can not stand. But, even when I back away…I am not like so many and just turn my back. I am still a friend. See, friendship does not end just because one person says they are no longer a friend. Not if it was a real friendship in the heart.
With so many using “friend” in so many different ways, I decided to see what the Bible said about friendship and friends. For I find that sometimes people use the word friend to mean someone who shows attention, someone who agrees with all you say, someone who gives money or gifts…and the real meaning of a real friend…a good friend…is lost in all that
16 Have I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth?
I never thought about it in terms like above but I do believe in telling the truth as gently as you can but always the truth. And yes, occasionally I have had someone I considered a real friend get mad because they did not want to hear the truth and I became the enemy. Which is sad but I still would tell them the truth again.
I started reading on quotes on real friends. I loved this one for only a real friend will tell you the truth even when you do not want to hear it. A real friend will not let you go out looking bad. They will try to stop you when you are doing something that will get you in trouble. A real friend cares about YOU.
Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.
The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still loves you.
~Elbert Hubbard, The Notebook, 1927
A real friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.