Simply danLrene's Opinion

Work Your Dream

Pain

PAIN

Today is a topic that I know a lot about….Pain.  I would say many know what pain is but many also do not understand that pain is relative to the person and what is causing the pain. Some people have no pain tolerance and what may seem minimal to one person can be horrific to another. I love my pain specialist for he understands pain totally. He sees them as blocks stacked up on top of each other and while he can not make me pain free..not even close to pain free…he can ease some of my pain by removing one or two of the “blocks” of pain such as when he does the Radio Frequency Ablation on my spine to try to ease some of the horrific nerve pain.

I think people have to be very careful with their words because words have a lasting impact. I hear people say things like “My disease pain is worse than cancer pain.”  It might or it might not be. See, all cancer does not cause pain. I had vaginal carcinoma and it was not painful but it could have been deadly. But, cancer can produce some of the worst pain possible and if you do not believe it do some research. Some people are dying from cancer in such extreme pain that in my book it is torture. So, for a person with a disease to say my pain is much worse than cancer pain but are up walking around, going out, etc is ridiculous. When a person who can walk, who can go out into the world, can take care of their basic needs feels the need to minimize something as horrific as end stage cancer pain, something is wrong. We do not have to tear down another person’s pain to try to validate our own.

Many have this false idea that if they go to a pain doctor that the doctor should be able to remove all pain. I have a pain management specialist and the most he can do is get mine down at times but never makes me pain free. I live with what I have to live with and sometimes that means laying in my hospital bed all day not moving because even moving throws the pain over the top. My pain is never below a 5 which is considered disruptive pain and this past year hoovers around an 8. I also accept that I will never be pain free. I would not know how to act if I was.

Please remember when you look at someone with pain that you do not know the whole story. And please do not denigrate one group of people with pain just to try to validate your own. It makes you look bad. If anything, pain should make us more compassionate towards those suffering with pain not more critical to where we feel like we have to prove how bad our pain is all the time to everyone.

The reality is, those that do those kind of things to try to prove their pain is worse than anyone else only make others look at them with skepticism for  many have lost loved ones to cancer who died in horrific pain. So, when someone says “my pain is worse than cancer pain” but they are still able to care for themselves, feed themselves, dress themselves, etc, it makes those who are truly suffering extreme pain and dying of cancer look at the person with skepticism. Words are powerful. And when someone questions them, the reply is “Oh, I always smile even when in pain.”  When pain is the level like with those dying of cancer in agonizing pain, there is no smiling. I too am a smiling person but when pain reaches a certain level, I can not smile, laugh or joke. I become very quiet just trying to ride through it. I vomit from the pain, can not eat from the pain, can not take care of myself from the pain and need help to even get to the bathroom. Words are powerful but so are your actions and if your actions do not match your words, people will be skeptical.

We need more love, more compassion and care and less competing for the title of who has the worst pain. It is not often you all will see me talk of my pain on here because I prefer to just deal with it but when I do talk about it, it is to give an example of what I am trying to say not to complain about my pain. I prefer joy and happiness and love and compassion. I love things like my son who tells me “hugging thoughts” when he knows my pain is so high that I can barely stand my clothes touching me. I love watching and talking about happy things instead of spending my day talking about my health. But then again, I have that faith that I know I will not die a day sooner or a day later than is intended by God. My faith carries me through a lot.

My post with the pain scale chart:

https://workthedream.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/how-to-use-a-pain-scale-chart/

May 1, 2017 - Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , ,

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