Living Your Life
It is nights like the ones I have been having with pain so high that I can not get eased off to sleep that people’s question to me on how do I stand this come back to mind. I lay here last night pondering that and realized that how I stand it has a lot to do with my faith and a lot to do with my believing that I have a life to live and I am going to live it without constantly complaining about it. I may not live it like many of you do. I may not be able to go out and travel or to stores or even out to eat like others do but live it I do. And I live it looking for joy in my life as it is. If I do not do that, then I will never find the joy because extreme pain and sickness will rob me of that.
I learn to adapt and create new ways to do things. I have had one truly amazing travel experience in my life some years back and that was to Italy and I was on forearm crutches at the time. It was a hard trip but a most wonderful experience. Today I can not do that but I can revisit Italy by watching videos of Italy. I have two choices. I can enjoy an alternative way of seeing Italy or I can lay here in bitterness, anger and jealousy that others can travel and I can not. I choose the first. That trip is so memorable to me that I can actually close my eyes and go through the whole journey and feel and taste and smell all the wonderful things. I can taste the cappuccino and smell the caverns we went into. It is imprinted on me.
Adaptation is so important. I can be angry I am in a hospital bed or I can learn how to do things a little different such as reclining in my power chair or laying on the couch when people come to visit. And if I am too sick to do that, a short visit by them in my room gives joy. I have a life to live and I have but ONE life to live and I am going to live it to the best of my ability and be grateful for every chance I have to experience things whether it be laying back in the vehicle while son drives me through the park to see the lakes, etc or i is laying back in my power chair to watch him to the flower beds or something as simple as talking to my loved ones on the phone. It is choice and it is acceptance that at the moment I do the best I can. If there is a road block on the road because the road is out up ahead, do you just try to drive through it or figure another route?
I remember reading a quote that said life is like a camera. If you do not like what you see, then change your focus. I am extremely sensory and that is one of the things that brings me pleasures in some ways and crashes me in others. Too much of a good thing can be bad for us. I love smelling the food when my son is cooking and my door to my room opens into the kitchen. I can see my son cooking and smell all the things he creates. I may not be able to eat it, but I can enjoy smelling it. Laying outside, which is so important, allows me to hear the birds, feel the breeze on my face, feel the sun and just take in nature. I spent an hour one day just laying there watching a bird build a nest. I loved it.
We all have just one life to live and we can either look for the joy or live it in misery, anger, jealousy, etc. I choose joy.