Every day we have choices to make. We choose many things and some are good choices and some are not very good choices. But at least we had the right to choose. If we are always afraid to choose anything, we lose out on so much.
I believe learning to choose even if we do not get what we want is important. If we always tell people when they ask us what do we want, “I do not care. Whatever you want.” that is exactly what we will get. A short story ti emphasize this. My Dad when he was about 8 was taken to the bicycle store and asked which bike he wanted for Christmas by his mother. His Dad died when he was 7. He thought if he picked a plain, cheaper one she would be so proud of him for not being greedy that she would buy him the fancy one. Well, she bought him exactly what he said he wanted.
It is not just in the little things we should express what we want, hope for but also in the larger things. A couple who decide they want to get married should have already discussed the hard things like “Do you want children?”, about finances, where to live, faith and what church they want to go to if they are wanting a church and other things. Being passive about this leads to some of the divorces we see now. People think they can change the other person over time so just go ahead and marry. Unfortunately you can not change another person.
I truly believe people do not express their desires, wishes and thoughts because they fear the other person(s) will not like it or will reject it or them. And if they do, you have saved yourself a lot of heartache. That does not mean be greedy and ask for the top of the line in everything. It simply means if someone asks you your opinion or what you want, tell them truthfully.
Life is full of joy and sorrows and this is why I think it is so important to be true to yourself. I am even that way when someone asks me “How do you like this outfit.” I don’t tell them it makes them look fat or ugly if I think it does. I simply tell them that I like another outfit better on them. Always kindness.
Fear can destroy us. Go boldly into your lives and leave the fear behind you. Probably 80 percent of what we worry and stress over and fear never happens. And if something bad happens, you just pull yourself up and keep marching forward.
Work The Dream 
We can make choices in life and dream of an exciting,happy life with a great future ,but these are only dreams. Life can kicks us so hard and we are left with pain and no future at all. Day in day out ,as we slowly age and then time seems to start moving faster and faster and we are left with no future- no grandchildren no legacy to pass on, no one to remember us as our light finally dims. What was the purpose of this journey?
Lezabones, I can only tell you what I believe. I don’t look towards the future much because it is an unknown. I focus on each day looking for joy in my day and even on the really bad days, I find joy. It may be just have my Daisy dog snuggle with me, or talking to my sons. But it is joy. I think if we have no family, then we create our “family” from those around us. I have many I call sis in addition to my two blood sis. I have an aunt I call mama cause my mother and father are both dead. Dreams can be pleasurable but they don’t bring us the daily joy. I look for ways to feel joy even if only for part of my day. You never know who you touch in life, someone in a store, someone on the street, etc. That is the purpose.
I really needed to hear this, especially tonight.
Rose I am so glad it helped. My writing is for others to read and to help myself for many things I write on I needed to read. 🙂
I got married before I was really ready I wasn’t quite 18 had 3 months to go. It wouldn’t have mattered though as my husband to be was already very into what he wanted and I didn’t try to get anything better out of marriage. I got pregnant 3 months after the wedding. We had a hard life as he kept losing his job and we were broke. So that put stress on everything. I always saved money he gave me for groceries and so when he was out of money and out of work I would have some money for a bit of time. He wondered how I did it I grew up that way to save and not be in debt still live that way.
Wish I could have met you but that wasn’t to be. I don’t get out now except to the grocery store maybe once a week or Dr. and therapy and the pool so for now I am not home a lot. There are a lot of things I need to do here at home too.
I lost my husband and both sons all died in just 7 yrs. So it made the family smaller. I feel them around but never see them or hear them say anything. That is so strange wish they would or could talk to me.
I have a great granddaughter so is really something. Can you e mail me and I could tell you more and maybe show you pictures of the great granddaughter and great grandson. There are other things too. I am trying to get better from the surgery I had but so far has not happened now I will have injections for facets in my back they think it may help I think they will do it Wed. coming up. I will call them and check that out Mon.
I am glad you still have Daisy that is one funny smart dog loving very much so too. I miss the dogs we had but they have been gone for many years now. They were big dogs and couldn’t have them here anyway. I can’t be running a dog to the vet and not enough money to do so ether. We have several dogs here plenty to love so it is ok.
Dar so nice to hear about all this. Yes family loss is hard. Lost both my parents in 2006, I am home mostly too so I make my world here in the house. I go out when son takes me to the doctor, etc. I love what you said about you can’t have a dog but there are a bunch where you are at. That is how we create our world to make up for what we don’t have. Love you and I don’t have your email. Send me an email at danellerene@ymail.com Let me know when you can see this so I can delete it. Lov eyou.