Simply danLrene

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Bullying

This blog has a personal aspect to it. My oldest son was bullied from first grade and up because he was so smart and used words the others did not understand. And the bullying affected him. He became where he did not want to show things he knew and changed his language which was sad to me because I learned a lot from him.

Bullying is epidemic around the world and it is really sad. Kids are bullied in school and kids and adults are bullied on social media. I hope people will take the time to look at their own words to see if they are unconsciously bullying someone. When people start denigrating and name calling and say things about another person to humiliate them, that is bullying and there is a lot of it going on.

How can we stop bullying? First and foremost, as parents we need to be aware. The first time it happened to my son, he was walking across the campus of this small college and this one boy would jump on him from his class and beat him up and try to choke him. And even sadder, the college students stood around doing nothing and cheering the boy choking him. I went immediately to the school and talked to the teacher who decided that boy had to stay until the other kids had time to walk home. It solved the problem. The teacher also called the parents in and talked to them. There have been many times that I intervened but my sons never knew it. I did not want them thinking Mama will fix everything. They had to learn to deal some too.

I would talk to Principals, teachers and if necessary the Superintendent of the schools. I was persistent and tough without being ugly. But the greatest joy I got was when my youngest who was three years younger than his brother entered high school. I was told by others that some boys were bullying my oldest and he was telling them to leave him alone. Their response was “Who is going to make us?”  And about that time my youngest son stepped around the corner in all his 6 foot 4 inch glory and said “I am.” My oldest is 5 foot 10 1/2 inches tall. The boys looked so funny and decided to leave. My son had a protector who did not have to resort to violence to get his point across.

I taught both my sons to not start a fight but to never stand there and take an attack. I knew my youngest would be fine. There was a boy in 7th grade at a school of K through 7th grade that would jump on my oldest son and grab him from behind with his arm around his neck choking him. I told him the next time to clamp his teeth on that boy’s arm and not let go until I got there. I made sure and told him to not break the skin, just hold tight. This was to ensure that the boy did not run off.

I got a frantic call from the principal telling me what was going on and to get there quickly. I did and when I arrived I told my son to let go and then I turned to the principal and said “I have talked to you many times about this bullying and you have done nothing. I told my oldest son to do that but to not break the skin as he needed protecting since you were doing nothing and as this boy’s attacks were escalating, my son was going to be badly injured.” The principal stood there stuttering with all the kids standing around and some kids spoke up and said they had told the principal too. When the principal finally got his voice, he told both boys they were expelled for three days. I looked at him and said “No, not my son. You were warned too many times that this was going on and did nothing. The other boy deserves being suspended but not my son.”  He finally agreed.

For years it affected my son. He would get upset when people talked ugly to him or yelled at him. It reminded him of the damage done to him when in school. He has come a long ways and has worked on the damage done to him. But, the important thing to remember is that this bullying does do damage to kids that carries on in their lives.  Fortunately, my son realizes what it did to him and works on it.  Almost all of the school shooters were bullied at school. That should tell us something. My son was fortunate to have a family that supported him and helped him deal with it. Many of these kids do not.

I do not advocate violence like I see many on news articles saying but I also do not advocate standing there passively and getting beat up. There is a fine line and we the parents, and we the teachers have to work on this. I taught school and I never allowed bullying in my class. We would talk about it and talk about how we should reach out to kids that others are bullying and befriend them. And my kids would tell me when other students were bullying others and I would talk to the teachers if they were not my students and let them know. We can not be passive about bullying. We must work to stop it for it does not end when school ends. It carries on in the work place, social media and other places.  And we must do this without violence.

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image from http://www.azquotes.com/quote/41735

April 12, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , | 4 Comments

Forgiveness

forgiveness

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It took me years to learn this and once I finally did, I realized I should have done it a long time ago. Forgiveness frees our hearts so we can heal. The other person does not have to know unless they ask for forgiveness. When we hold the anger and grudge against someone, we are giving them a free place in our heads.

Not forgiving can cause us many problems from health issues to anxiety, etc. But, when we forgive, we need to do it like God forgives us. He forgives and forgets. He remembers it no more once we ask Him to forgive us. So, when we forgive someone, we need to totally forgive and put it behind us so that we are not holding on to negative thoughts.

I find that life is a lot more peaceful when I forgive those that have wronged me and let it go. Even when people have hurt me deeply, once I forgave them, I felt peace and calmness. And I think it is also important for us to ask others to forgive us when we have hurt them or been ugly to them or spoke harshly. It is surprising because I have done that and had the person tell me they were sorry as well.

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Penterist.com

April 8, 2018 Posted by | faith, God, Inspiration | , , , | 3 Comments

The Tiny Word Called Hope

Hope is the one thing that keeps me going. Hope that today will be better than yesterday. Hope that this or that will work out. Hope is like a tiny fluttering you feel that is your heart beating and it grows when we give it the right fuel.

When tragedies hit, many tears will be shed and hearts will hurt but hope will spring just as the crocus and daffodil bulbs push through the soil and peek their tiny little heads.

Hope

“Hope” is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—

And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—

I’ve heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.

Emily Dickinson

Hope is that tiny seed that will not let us quit..that makes us keep trying when everything seems so hard. And hope is what makes us get up in the mornings and say “Ok, I will try one more time”.

April 7, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Slow Down And Enjoy Life

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One thing I have learned through all this breaking my wrist and ending up in the hospital for almost two weeks with massive blood clots and being told I was going to die is that we have no guarantees of tomorrow. This means we should make every minute count and for me, making sure I am staying in God’s will not mine.

Today’s society is rush, rush, rush and people go from early morning to late at night and are always feeling frazzled and exhausted. I hear friends say they just do not have time to enjoy life anymore. My answer is always “list your things you do and what you want to do and see where the priorities are”.  Sometimes people can stay so busy because it hides the fact that they are not at peace.

To me, my most important priorities when the boys were young was them. I wanted to make sure they were prepared for the world and the harshness that is out there and knew how to fend for themselves.  I found Jesus when my oldest was a toddler and remember the moment exactly. Then I started working on making God the top priority. Did I make mistakes?  Oh yeah, I did. But I kept working to change.

Life is short and there are no redo’s. We have to work to get it right the first time and do what God has laid in our hearts to do. If we keep ourselves so busy, we can not hear what God is leading us to do.

April 5, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You Blocking Your Own Happiness?

7 things that will block your happiness

1) self hatred & self blame
2) not being able to let go of the past
3) not being able to forgive
4) not being able to cherish who you are
5) needing others to validate you
6) letting other people define who you are
7) trying to be perfect.

From:  Inspiring and Positive Quotes

I can remember an old saying from years ago that said “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face”. I had to think long and hard on that one and finally realized that it meant do not do things that will cause you harm in the long run. We can say or do things in the moment that cause more damage than what made us angry or upset. I learned to ask myself what is going on with the person who made me upset or mad. Were they hurting from something or was something going on stressing them? And yes, nine times out of ten that was the answer.

There was a time many years ago I felt like there was nothing joyful in the world and I cried out to God to show me some thing beautiful and joyful. I was up early and sitting on my porch out in the country at dawn. And as I sipped my coffee, the sun started coming up and as I watched it, I noticed something that seemed to be glowing around my little tree I had planted a year before. It was the large daffodils that I had planted that same year and they were shining and beautiful and almost looked like they were on fire from the sun. And believe me when I say, I spent the next half hour thanking God for showing me something beautiful and joyful. See, the joy and beauty is there. We just have to be willing to open our eyes and see it.

I learned to be my own best friend, to not let others define me, to quit blaming myself for everything, to stop trying to be perfect and appear to have the perfect life,  to forgive like Christ wants us to forgive and to not need others to validate me. I was God’s child and He loved me and validated me and He chastised me when I was wrong. I needed nothing else. Sometimes we sabotage our own happiness.

April 3, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Taking A Break From Social Media And News Media

Last week I was forced into taking a sabbatical from social media and the news media and the Internet in general due to a modem that quit working. The cable company sent us a new one and it would not work and so a technician had to come out and get things fixed.  This meant days of no Internet, no social media and no news media. And what a glorious thing that turned out to be.

I came to realize that taking a break made me sleep better, reduced my anxiety, took away any anger I might feel about those playing such games today and just made my few days so nice. Right now I am still ignoring the media and refuse to talk about what is going on.

I truly recommend that everyone take a break from social media, news media, the Internet for a few days and see how it affects you. If someone is truly addicted to it, they will have anxiety but the longer they go just like coming off drugs, the anxiety will lessen.

I got so much accomplished those days we had no Internet. Paper work that was stacked on my table here was completed. A thirty page set of papers the new pain specialist wants filled out that I just did not want to do was completed and the list goes on. It is amazing how much we can get done and still have time to relax when there is no Internet.

This was an article that came across my Facebook feed this morning and it is about taking a break from social media and news media, etc only this man calls it a blockade. He told his friends, family, etc he did not want to hear about it and went about life as if it did not exist. I am not sure that anyone could go for months and months like this but it is refreshing to not have all that in one’s face all the time. I make no claim on this article or newspaper, just sharing for educational purposes.

So, maybe try a few days with no Internet or social or news media and see how you do. I admit the first day I would turn on my computer and of course nothing came on and then realized I was doing an old habit. Now, I may glance down the news feed but not click on anything or look briefly down the Facebook feed but that is about the extent. All the hate and anger and maliciousness going on is bad for the heart and I want the peace that God gives me.

April 1, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , | 2 Comments

Patience Is Learned

butterfly

image from http://www.quoteswave.com/picture-quotes/407251

We live in an instant world with Internet, cellphones, flat screen televisions, etc. And I  believe this makes us impatient for what our parents and ancestors before them worked so hard to achieve. Children think they should exactly what the parents have when it took the parents years and years to accomplish what they have.

Most things in life require lots of time and effort to be done right but few are willing anymore to take the time and put forth the effort to accomplish normal things in life. I am not sure where this attitude comes from but I see it all the time.

Just like the quote above, many things in life are like the butterfly that must fight it’s way out of a cocoon to live. To make it in life today we must be willing to fight for our very lives and possessions. I do not mean go out and beat people up but rather put in the time and effort to succeed.

I am very proud of my sons who have worked hard to be successful. Are they rich? No, just hardworking people who take care of what they have. There is so much that is expendable today that people do not take care of it.

I believe that we come into the world as children and are supposed to learn everything we can in order to make it in this world. I taught both my boys to cook, sew, clean, do laundry, etc because I wanted them to not think they had to have a wife in order to survive. Wanting a spouse is one thing but when you think you have to have one, the love gets lost.

Patience is a virtue. I have not always been the most patient person. My son used to call me “Impatience Marie”. If I planted flower seeds, I wanted flowers tomorrow. But, I have learned that when we work towards a project or item we want, the anticipation is the best part.  Dating should be a longer process so that you get to really know the one you are dating. Having children should be decided with much talk and planning for it is a big endeavor.

Everything seems to be rush, rush, RUSH. People do not have the patience to wait for anything but waiting, talking about it and looking forward to when we have it makes it all the much more special. Take time to smell the flowers, to talk with friends and family, to love one another and to enjoy life.

March 26, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , | 2 Comments

Keeping The Faith

Sorry folks for not posting much this week. It has been quite a week. We all mutually decided to stop PT and OT because my wrist has a piece of broken off bone floating in it and my spine has a really severe place that may need more than Radio Frequency Ablation such as surgery.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday were days all the ones involved in Home Health came in to get me checked and signed out.  Thursday and Friday were doctor appointments so it has been hectic. I just have not had brain enough to think of writing.

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image from http://emilyls.blogspot.com/2006/04/signs-of-stress.html

And then Friday, our hot water heater decided to have a water explosion damage part of the flooring and now we are working on how to get the 798 dollars for a new gas hot water heater. So Friday afternoon and all day Saturday was a chaotic, loud noise day.

But we are all fine and the floor has been replaced thanks to a friend helping and now son is finishing up the cleaning out of damaged wood and sheet rock to get the washer hooked back up. So, we figure tomorrow will be more peace beginning to the week.

But, never fear. satan might be trying to derail us but he will not succeed. We have all our faith in God and we hold tight to Him in these times of troubles.

Look tomorrow for a good blog and happy rest of the day.

March 25, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | 2 Comments

Should People Always Do What Is Right?

best-inspirational-quotes-aboutlife-Sayings-Do-What-Is-Right-Flying-Solo

https://soloquotes.com/motivational/work/inspirational-quotes

Stand up for what is right, even if you stand alone. And I have stood alone many times but it was worth it. How many of you have seen someone jumping physically on someone else and done nothing or worse yet, walked off. If nothing else, call the police.

Standing alone is scary. This is why so many on social media opt for the marches, etc because they feel safer in numbers. I personally am not a fan of most marches because I do not see anything productive come from them. But, if we want change in our country, we must be accountable and hold others accountable without using violence, hatred, name calling, etc.

I think one of the things social media has done is so many become cult like and follow blindly without using their own brains to determine right or wrong. It is easy to get caught up in all that drama and hate going on. I think we also have to realize that our opinion is not the only opinion in the world and allow others to express their opinions. That is how discussions get started.

So be like the eagle that soars high but has his eye focused on what he is looking for from a distance. One thing the Internet is good for is searching out facts….real facts not just want we want to hear. Sadly, I have lost trust in the mainstream media as they are caught time and again promoting stories that they did not check out and turned out to be false. This is how I vote too. I do not vote by part. I vote by person and I research each candidate extensively so that I know how they really believe. I may vote democrat on one position and Republican on another.

I say be what we want to see others be in this world…..kind, compassionate, loving and honest and maybe others will follow suit.

 

March 23, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spring Cleaning Our Hearts and Our Heads

I love this quote here. It is not mine but it is so true. What goes in us comes out of us and if all we ingest is hate and anger then that is what we will be. Time to start cleaning out all the negative, ugly, hateful things in our hearts and heads.

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I love spring cleaning time where you pull everything out and clean around and under it and get rid of what is no longer useful. So, to me, it makes sense to spring clean all the things we have accumulated over the years that trigger us and affect how we respond. We need to take them all out, put them on the table so to speak and look at them and ask ourselves why we are holding on to the negative emotions. Why are we holding on to hate and anger and other emotions that bring us down as a person?

So, I am going to do a little spring cleaning of my mind and heart and see what I can get rid of. There are things I just need to avoid which I do which is all the hate on social media. There is also things that become so common in the world that we just tend to forget that they are wrong and accept them as normal when they are not.

So, time to get out the big old brooms and rakes that years ago they beat the rugs with after they hung them on the line to get all the hidden dirt out and clean out our hearts and minds out  and give us a fresh start. Forgiving people is a good place to start, not because anything they did to hurt us or harm us is ok but because it frees our hearts to move on in life.

March 17, 2018 Posted by | Inspiration | , , , , | Leave a comment

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