I look over at Jack tonite and I see complete trust by the way he is laying. He is totally relaxed, spread out and has his head hanging out of his hut. He knows he is safe with me in this room. Relaxing like he does is a sign of trust just like it is with us. When we feel relaxed enough to just be ourselves and to talk freely…then the trust is there.
But, I learned that there is another sign of trust. When Jack is scared, this is where he comes. He was abused as a puppy and terrified of thunder and loud noises. So, when the storms happen, here is where he gets. 🙂 This is between my bed and my computer. See his head and he is part way under my bed.
That is trust too. He knows and trusts me enough that when he is scared, he comes to me or to son and will get up close to us. I think as people, we do that too. We know who we feel safe with and who we don’t and that inner voice tells us. As Gibbs says on NCIS…my gutt tells me. 🙂
My son tells me I have “lie-dar”. I can spot quickly when someone is lying, whether it is to be deceptive or to avoid telling something. Honesty is a big thing for me. I remember watching this show about learning how to tell if someone was lying. Son and I watched it. It was about the FBI facial thing they do. If they raise this eyebrow it means this, or twitch their nose or whatever…LOL. I would get so involved in watching all of that and not hear a thing they said. I just rely on my senses and what I see and hear.
Remember years and years ago, when people would say “my word is my bond” and that is how they did agreements. No big long legal documents, just your word. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could take everyone’s word as the truth. Sadly, you can’t. And, while I have some people tell me they prefer to believe everyone, I believe that is a very troubling thing to do in this day and time when so much dishonesty, scams, games etc are played. We have to learn to look beyond the surface to see what is really going on. It is up to us to protect ourselves.
In order to protect yourself, it does not mean distrust everyone. It means paying attention to what they say and do for eventually someone who is weaving a web of deception will get caught in it. They will forget a lie and tell the wrong one.
Being disabled, I have learned that there are many people out there in this world who prey on the disabled. They find them easy targets. And because we depend on others for daily things, it means we have to be twice as alert to what is going on around us. I had a helper who was always trying to listen to my phone calls. My radar went up and I started paying more attention to this person. Soon, I realized that while I was sick back down that long hallway and could not get around much, she was sitting out in my kitchen and livingroom doing nothing and then leaving me with a dirty house and my things not taken care of. One lie can lead to another. We have to pay attention and be aware so that others don’t take advantage of us.
So, what is trust? I think it is feeling comfortable enough to let someone into your life in varying degrees. I might trust someone to come visit me but not trust them to take the keys to my car. I have learned how to see people over the years and my feelings about them were not always accurate.
I can remember a man from the flea market who came by one day when son was gone. He wanted to sell me some things. He is sitting in a wooden rocker in the living room talking to me and Jack keeps circling behind him and coming up and hitting him on the shoulder with his nose. For the life of me, I could not figure out what was going on with Jack. And the guy just thought it was funny. That is until Jack suddenly took him by the pants leg and escorted him to the door and literally put him outside the door. I think I stood there with my jaw dropped. The man decided to go on and leave and later I found out he was a thief and he went around casing houses to break into. I guess cause I did the flea market and had my stock in my house, he thought it was a good one to case. So, it was a good thing Jack had better “lie-dar” than me that day.
That was when I decided I needed to become more alert and pay attention to the people who come around me. One day, I had a black lab named Thumper who was all wagging tail and no ferociousness at all about him. I had been out in the yard on my forearm crutches and saw this man down at the road. I went straight in the house cause I was the only one home.This man came to the door and knocked and luckily I had the screened door locked. I stood right inside the door and could smell the alcohol a foot away. He kept wanting to come in and so I was holding Thumper’s collar with him pulled back from the door and saying “Back Fang..back” like Thumper was some ferocious dog. The whole time, Thumper’s tail was wagging behind the door. Thank goodness the man believed he was ferocious and left and went on to another house to try the same exploits. I am sure I looked like an easy target being alone, female and disabled. And he was wrong. Cause I would have bonked him with one of these crutches if he had tried to come in. LOL
Trust is about trusting others but it is also about trusting yourself to handle the situation. And you can. :).