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Expectations are what we place on others or people and are this idea we have in our minds as to what we expect in return. When we are disappointed, then we can easily become hurt or upset. For example, someone fixes me a vegetarian hamburger and my expectation is that it will taste like a beef burger and when it does not, I am disappointed and do not want it anymore.
We can have expectations of those around us and when they do not perform to our expectations, we can become very disappointed, upset and disillusioned. And yet, what we do not realize is that it is our expectations are not theirs. We have to accept people where they are and not try to mold them into what we want. If we can not live with them how they are, then we need to move on. I have seen many relationships fail because one had such high expectations that the other got tired of always being wrong.
The same thing is true about life. If we expect life to be this fairy tale, storybook video, we are going to be disappointed. No one has the perfect life and there will be ups and downs. But if we have this high and unrealistic expectation that there will never be problems, we will be disappointed every time. I have learned to set goals for myself but when I see they are not going to happen, I have to readjust those goals or I will very disappointed. Standing and walking are two goals that I have had to readjust my expectations. I never give up trying but I realize some things will never be.
People get upset if their spouse or significant other is not romantic or real affectionate. They have this high expectation of the night coming in on the white horse. This is where people have to readjust those expectations to reality. They say if you want to love someone like they want to be loved, watch them and see how they love others. For we love others the way we want to be loved. Some people are very sentimental and give cards and flowers and do all those things and other people are not but show their love in other ways. So, learning to watch and see how someone loves others helps us to show them the kind of love they want and helps us to see that they are showing us love, just not our expectation of love.
Everything in life, we tend to have expectations on…food, jobs, people, homes, children, friends…and sometimes we have to re-evaluate our expectations and make sure that they are possible and even realistic. It is good to have expectations but when things do not go as planned, we have to ask ourselves are we disappointed because of the expectation we placed on this or that.
So, when you face disappointments, ask yourself was your expectation holding you down. You know..that vegetarian burger might actually taste pretty good if I quit expecting it to be a beef burger. Being chronically ill might not be as bad as expected if people change their their expectations and the person we date or love may not look like a movie star but may be the best thing in the world for me.