fear

If you had to pick which thing caused you the most problems in life, do you know what it would be? I used to be able to name this, that and the other but one day I read this quote that has forever stuck in my head. It made me analyze the other things and realize that they came from this root problem.

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My first thought was “No, this can not be true. Things like my feelings towards others, finances, medical issues, etc cause me more problems.” Then I started analyzing these things and it changed my perspective totally.

Finances come from a fear of not having enough money, fear of not being able to pay our bills, fear that we can not buy that special item, etc. It all relates back to fear.

I had a friend tell me that jealousy was her biggest problem and after thinking about it, I realized that jealousy also stems from fear…fear that someone is better than us, fear that we are not good enough, fear that we do not look good enough, fear that we can not do as well, etc.

My medical issues, if I allow them, can throw me into fear. It can make anyone fear that they will not get better, fear of what is coming, fear of what treatments, medicines, etc will be required, fear that no one will love us if we are so sick or disabled and the list goes all.

This was a revelation to me because then I started thinking about all the things that go on in life and how much is fear oriented. People hold back their lives because they allow fear to rule it. People do not go to events because they are afraid they will not fit in or they are afraid of being around so many people. Some people will not try new foods because they are afraid they will not like it. Some people will not leave a dead end job because they are afraid of trying something new. And I probably could think of a thousand more things all fear oriented.

So, how do we break the pattern of allowing fear to rule us? People will not disagree with others because of fear of being rejected and yet, if they ever make that step just one time and say they do not agree…they will find that such a freeing moment. How much of our lives do we allow fear to control?

I remember once my father asking me was I proud to be poor as the rest of my family is not. I told him that I was not ashamed of being poor and I was proud of living simply, being able to enjoy my children and not having tens upon tens of thousands of dollars of debt over my head. That was a major step for me and for my son. We moved out here to simplify our lives and to get away from the rat race and we love it.

We will always have fears. It is what we do with that fear that determines the person we become. If we walk through the fears, face the fears and move on, then we have won a victory. If we give into the fears, we lose a big part of our lives. And if you have never faced fear, let me tell you from experience that when you do it for the first time, it is empowering. You will come away going “WOW that felt good”. So, always know the enemy…which is fear…and never let it stop you. It may not feel comfortable to do things you are scared of such as changing jobs or meeting someone new. We will have uncomfortable feelings all our life. Just march on through.

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