Blue

When I write, I write about what I know, what I have seen, people I have met along the way, life in general, and so much more. Blue is one of those about people I have met along the way.

Blue

Little girl dressed in blue
wandering down the hall
people sitting in every room
but no one she could call

Bare feet and tangled hair
eyes with a vacant stare
looking straight ahead she walked
seems there was no one to care

Rag doll held by one tiny foot
making trails on the dusty floor
little girl stumbled down the hall
looking for that one lone door

twas no Alice in the looking glass
No Cinderella going to the ball
was only a wooden door she had
and no one else to call

Little black bird with circle of blue
sitting on the snowy cold wall
peering through the glass it looked
listening for someone to call.

Fly, fly away little bird
escape this dark, cold place
you can do it little bird with blue
Fly to a brand new place

Little old lady with silver blue hair
walks with a shuffling gait
Little rag doll sits on a shelf
memories of another date

danLrene 1985

We Are All Special But What Are We Special For?

Did you know that you are special?  Yes, you. You are special because there is no one else just like you. You were created special from the day you were born. The only way you can ruin that is to become just like everyone else and we do that by compromising the very core of our character and our lives…by agreeing with everything and standing up for nothing. You were born an original canvas, so do not turn yourself into a copy. It is a matter of choice. Be a masterpiece not a copy.

People ask me how I do it all the time and my reply is “I choose to”.  I can spend my life taking the easy way out because it is less work or I can choose to do the right thing and I can choose to keep fighting. I have had people tell me they were not as strong as me and the truth is that they are just as strong as me. They simply choose to not be for what ever reason. Usually the reason is that it is easier to be weak because then someone else does it for us but when we allow others to do what we are capable of, we have diminished ourselves.

image from lindenamueller.com

I am a firm believer in that God blessed us with many talents and survival is one of those talents. And survival takes work and somewhere along the way, the desire to work seems to have gone by the way side for many. They want the easy way out. I guess I just have too much grit in me to do that. Even in the shape I am in, I do something every day that is “work” even if it is sitting up on this bed and folding a pile of laundry to help my son.

We are all unique and special and as different as our fingerprints. And yet, if we are not careful, our lives can turn into something common place and a cheap copy of those around us. I would a hundred times rather have people around me that stood up for what is right, that were willing to be themselves in a world full of Botox imitations, that were willing to step out and live honestly and ethically even when everyone else was lying and stealing, and were willing to do more than just exist. We only get one shot in this world and I do not want to waste it.

We are all special but what we have to look inside and ask ourselves is “What are we special for?”  What do people see as our “special” traits?  Are we special because we stand out as someone honest, ethical and moral and our actions show that? Are we special because people see us as manipulators and liars? Are we special because we are always doing for others? Are we special because we are always taking from others? Are we special because people see us as fake sweet and always agreeing with everyone? Are we special because we just follow the crowd? Or, are we special because we use our own brains and stand up for what is right?  Are we special because we are true friends?  Are we special because we lie to our friends because we do not want to tell them the truth? Are we special because we have a kind heart? Just what have we made ourselves special for?

Yes, we were all created very special and with purity. It is what we do in this lifetime that will paint our portraits of what people see us as. The good news is that as long as we are alive…if those brush strokes are things we do not want to be special for, we still have time to repaint the portrait. The bad news is, we have no guarantees of tomorrow and so if we are going to make our portraits as special as we were created, then we better start today.

The Last Dance

The Last Dance

With wisps of hair across her beautiful face

Tears on her cheeks your finger could trace

She stood there with head bowed in humble prayer

Feeling as if she were the only one that cared

She closed her eyes and listened once more

To the music that always drew her to the door

The music rose in tempo and sound

She knew her time was coming around

Was her dream to dance just one last dance

And she knew tonight was her only chance

Rising on toes, she danced across the stage

Her body tensing up for the very next page

As she jumped to twirl up in the air

She suddenly felt his hands right there

He lifted her higher than she had ever flown

And twirled and danced  better than she had ever known

He molded himself to her as if one

And remained there lifting her until the dance was done

The applause thundered and echoed around the room

And she felt as if life had just started to bloom

As the sounds died down, she smiled with tears

Not being able to dance was one of her fears

Then she opened her eyes and looked around

Oxygen hoses and hospital beds are what she found

As she glanced down she saw her toes pointed down

And she knew only her attitude kept her bed bound

No matter what happened she could dance so free

She just had to close her eyes and the stage she would see

danLrene  2013

Because He Lives

People often ask me how I have managed to survive all the pain, exhaustion and life in general. And I admit sometimes it is tough like the past six months but the reason is my faith in Jesus. I love this song….because He lives I can face tomorrow and that is how I hold on. I figure when my time is here, God will just take me but back in January when they told me I was going to die, evidently God was not ready for me to leave because I am still here and I praise God for that.

video by Cecilia Gospel

The world is in such turmoil that my faith is what gives me strength to go on. My faith is what gives me peace and joy and happiness and I am not ashamed to say that. Both of my sons also have that faith. So, when I see turmoil, I decided that the best gift I can give them is to pray for them instead of criticizing them. The best gift I can give anyone is to pray for them and to love them and show compassion to them. I so wish we would bring back love and care instead of the hatred and meanness going on.

Another thing I do for relaxation and stress is grounding. For us, grounding is going outside, sitting with our bare feet on the ground and feeling the grass and the dirt. We keep all electronics inside and sit there listening to the breeze blowing and the gentle sound of our chimes in the tree and watching the birds. Like a car batter that is sat on the ground, the energy drains out of it and for us, it drains all the stress and  tension out. And as I look over to our mountains, I realize how close we are to God high up here on this mountain. We sit there from thirty minutes to an our just allowing all the stress in the world to drain away from us.

mountains.jpg

Photo by danLrene

The Sad Story of Lucas Hernandez

Back in February, a little boy named Lucas Hernandez went missing. I have followed this story with a sadness in my heart for I just knew this 5 year old boy was already dead. He lived with his Dad, who worked in another state, and his stepmother. People felt due to the bruises and things that happened to him, that she was abusing him.

The police worked hard for three months to no avail. A private Investigator came to help find Lucas and I researched him and he seems to be quite awesome. He did find Lucas by talking the stepmother into going for a ride and telling her people were zoning in on finding him and she needed to just show him where his body was. And she did tell him and they found the body and called the police. From the deterioration, he had most likely been there the whole three months.

I think why this case hurts my heart so is that several reported this woman for abuse and the children’s services did nothing. Teachers say it and reported and nothing was done. And the last thing one of the family members remembers him saying when they asked him where he got all his bruises was that “Emily doesn’t like me anymore.” That poor little boy.

Now, the reason I am writing this is that every time on Facebook you see a “missing child”, that is someone’s loved one and too many are going missing.  In the town in Kansas where this happened, groups formed to look for his body for weeks going out in rough terrain. They were about two miles from where he was found. Be involved if you can and if you can not at least share the picture for that is the only way to save these children. Every day I see multiple posts on children missing. Some are taken in sex trade, some are little like Lucas, and some are babies. We need to find a way to stop this.

http://thedailyhaze.com/lucas-hernandez-kidnapped-wichita-kansas/

http://www.crimeonline.com/2018/05/24/breaking-lucas-hernandez-small-human-remains-found-likely-of-missing-kansas-boy/

http://www.kansas.com/news/local/crime/article211914279.html

http://www.kansas.com/news/local/crime/article211941039.html

 

The Damage Of Words

I read a quote the other day and it resonated with me. This is a time where people tend to focus on how they look, their hair, their makeup, their clothes, etc. Beauty has become important but this quote made me think about the words that we say and how they can affect our “beauty”.

“If the words you spoke, appeared on your skin, would you still be beautiful?”

Just take a minute to think about that and relate to the words said in anger, or condemnation or just to hurt. If people saw those words on you all the time, would it tarnish your beauty. And I am not just talking women. I am talking men too who focus on the latest hair styles, the designer clothes, etc.

Our words is one of those things where we can either uplift people or we can tear them down. We can help people or we can hurt them. We can encourage people or we can discourage them. I know all through my life my words have not always been good ones. I have really focused on that the past years because I believe we should never look down on someone unless we are offering a hand to help them up.

So, back to the question. If your hurtful, angry, hateful, condemning, etc words were written on your face and arms and hands where people saw them all the time, would you still be pretty? I say no because words are easy to say but if we have them going before us on our skin, they show the inner us which is where true beauty lies.

I think with all the hate and anger going on, people have forgotten that. I feel shame for our country when I read the comments people say on news articles, Facebook, blogs etc. When did the world become so hateful and it has been that way for a few years. If we could bring back love, compassion, caring, supporting…all those things good oh how the world would change.

I was so proud of the Santa Fe students, school people and the athletic students and staff from the shooting the other day. They chose to show concern, love, support and uplifting the students, families and community instead of going on a raging, angry march. It showed their true concern which was those that were affected. Unfortunately, all our words if we put them on social media, on the internet will forever be there. We can not wash them off.

It has made me very cautious and thoughtful about what I say anymore even when I am reacting. I have learned that if I am angry at something or someone, sometimes the best response is no response if I can not say anything positive. Maybe if we all start thinking about how we act and what we say we can help change what is going on.

Dealing With The Ugliness of Today

Everything in life is a choice. I can see the raised eyebrows already but it is true. Getting a disease is not a choice but how you deal with it is a choice. Losing your job is not a choice but how you handle it and where you go next is a choice. When we start looking at the choices we do have, then we do not feel quite as restricted for we are a country of the free. Right?

I am not expert nor am I a psychologist but this is how I deal with those people who are hateful, ugly, say nasty things and try to inflict wounds with their words. I remind myself that how I react is my choice. And so I just smile and say “Ok” and move on. Nothing frustrates them more.

I see so many of our young people who just can not handle life and the harsher side of life. They get extremely emotional, cry and really have break downs. This is because they have never been taught that life can be tough and we do not always get what we want. I remember my sons wanting Niki tennis shoes when in high school and I was not able to buy them. So, my response was “If you want them, you will have to find a way to pay for them.”  And then I sat back and just waited to see what they would do. Children are very resilient. Neither one had a driver’s license at the time so they walked everywhere they went.

Both boys went out hunting work  offering to mow lawns, clean yards, whatever for pay. They also collected coke bottles to turn in to get money. They had already learned that life is not always good to us but they already knew they had to find a way out of it. I smiled inside as I watched them working at the neighbors houses, walked carrying coke bottles and walked dogs, etc.

And you know what? They earned the money to get their Niki shoes and were so proud of what they had done. And through it all they learned that those kids taunting them had no control on them and would tell them when asked if they were having to work to get Niki shoes and they would smile and say “Yes indeed we are and when we get them, we will have earned them ourselves. No one will have given them to us.”

They were proud but I was even prouder for I watched my sons grow through that lesson. No, I could never have bought two pairs of Niki shoes but my sons learned that what they wanted in life they had to work for. And they learned how to deal with ugly people. Sadly there will always be bullies. There will always be mouthy people who want to jab at you and bring you down. Always. So learning how to deal with them and ignoring them goes a long way.

I remind myself even now when someone writes ugly things to me or says something ugly when I am out that it is my choice how I let them affect me. I remind myself that those those that want to bring people down with their words are already down themselves. Acting like that is their way of trying to make themselves feel better. I remind myself that I am not perfect, not necessarily beautiful or talented but that I am worthy. We have to have faith in ourselves. Not the arrogant kind that some have but the kind that gives us confidence to keep going even when being attacked and to keep going without getting emotionally invested.